another thanksgiving has passed me by. although my family doesn't really celebrate thanksgiving, i was still reminded of what i should be grateful for. the drive up home was a very long drive. i took off from irvine at 1:30pm and arrived home the next day at 1am (don't worry, i'll explain). but i had jennifer moon and jane yu to keep me company...

jennifer moon is a 1st year at irvine. we both went to high school together but never talked until this year. i know her through her brother, chris moon, who happens to be one of my brother's friends. jennifer is a fob. i think the only time i talked to her in high school was when i asked her to help me out with my bio grade since she was the TA for my class. at one point, i had the highest grade in the class, a much too obvious 94%. she didn't talk much after we picked up jane.

jane yu is a 1st year at la. she too went to high school with me but we never talked until last year? (and this was just a little). well, i remember hearing about how she used to be a devout christian until she started having doubts about her faith. she is currently an "agnostic." anyways, she asked me for a ride a while ago and i remember anticipating a huge theological debate on the validity of christianity since we'd be driving up together. a few things that were unexpected:
1. she talks alot. at first, i was scared that she'd be an annoying chatterbox that i'd have to pretend to be listening to. she actually turned out to be a chatterbox that had many interesting thoughts. i enjoyed everything that she shared.
2. our debate began as soon as we hit the 101. nothing hostile or unclear. everything was straightforward and understood. a pleasant discussion if you will.
3. conclusion: jane is a very analytical person. i feel like i get along with her quite well.

...as i was saying, i arrived home at 1am. whenever i drive up north from irvine, i only have to fill up once before i take off cause i can make it the whole way without stopping. unfortunately, i hadn't taken into consideration that i had stopped twice...once for bathroom break (weaksauce girls) and another time for In N' Out. these few extra driven miles caused my car to run out of gas at Dore Ave (right in b/w San Mateo and Burlingame). fudge right? i call my mom at 11:45. she takes a good 45 min. to arrive at the scene (never EVER assume your mom understands your directions), it takes me another 30 min. just to get to a gas station, buy a gasoline container, attempt to fill it up, drive to another gas station (after failing the first time), learn how to fill the container with fuel, and finally drive back to my car and pour the goods. however, i learned a few things from this FREEZING experience:

1. even motels near burlingame look like crap.
2. if the gas light turns on, it doesn't hurt to get off the freeway and put some more gas in...even if you're 5 stupid miles away from your destination.
3. you need to PUSH the gas pump into the container or else the gas won't come out.
4. i learned how to pour (not pump) gas into my car.
5. i think gas is cheaper up north.

some people have to learn the hard way. just learn from my words so you don't have to be one of those people.


and going even further back to my original point: so i was talking with jane about the condemned and the elect. i could see that everything that i was talking about, she totally understood every word. she had heard it many times before and she was hearing it again. i realized that God had chosen to reveal so many of His truths to me while hiding them from jane. we could both read God's word but the difference b/w us is acceptance. everything that i understand and believe to be true is only possible by God's grace. i find it hitting me harder and harder every time i discuss theology with people. everything that makes sense and everything that i can enjoy and delight in is only possible by God's grace. a gift from God. something that i do not deserve. while i pity those who are not as fortunate as i am, at the same time i am compelled to give thanks to my gracious Lord. i have everything b/c of grace. i know everything b/c of grace. i am saved b/c of grace. Thanksgiving. i give thanks b/c of God's grace.

well, it's that time of the year again. christmas shopping. time to bust out that list of people who you're going to shop for. you go through all your friends and see who deserves the 20 dollar gift or the "i'm sorry i couldn't get you anything" x-mas card. man, i remember my senior year in high school, i had like a list of 20 people! i think every year, i spend about $500 on x-mas gifts. but today, i was doing my budgeting and realized that i am only going to spend about $300 this year (interpretation: i have less friends this year). but one thing that i hate is that i never get anything i REALLY want for x-mas. i feel like i get people the best gifts that they could ever want...wonderful and useful gifts! but all i ever get is a gift chosen out of obligation. *breaks window* yeahyeah, it's not about receiving. it's all about giving right? well i got news for ya...if you ever say that to me in person, don't expect a gift coming from ME this year!

p.s.-i want keira knightly for x-mas. *thumbs up*

Thought of the Day: Simon's super sick!
Song of the Day: Beethoven-Moonlight Sonata 3rd Movement

the brother's face continues to increase in volume and the best friend hasn't quit smoking nor stopped growing his hair...

the wedding was really nice. man, all i heard from people was, "you lost a lot of weight!" alrite, so i guess i was a fatso the whole time then, right? =D anyways, the wedding was really good. i don't think i've ever seen chang so happy. the whole time, that guy was just cheesing the biggest grin. seeing him up there made me SO happy for him that i swear i wanted to cry. now i understand why people cry at weddings. you're just overwhelmed with so much happiness for them that you just wanna bawl. it would have been a ridiculous site if i started crying. haha. *ahem*

just as predicted, the food was awesome. i hate it when there's so many good things to eat that you never get a good balance of everything. i'd have like pounds of veggies with like 2 pieces of meat. 6 california rolls and one salmon thing. haha. but i ate to my stomach's content, especially since they had dduk. i haven't had that stuff in the longest time. that's one of the things i miss about my old churches cause they always used to have dduk. fudge, i gotta stop remembering last night's meal cause i'm starting to get sad again. *tears* i'm so hungry.

"love never fails...chang never fails." ahahhahahahahaha.

i think it's funny how everytime i meet up with justin, we always have to include somewhere in our retarded conversation the reason why our friendship is so different from everyone else's. the whole "we are SO different yet we remain friends for so many years." it's almost like our relationship is inevitable. "fate" or "destiny" as olivia would put it. i never thought i could be friends with such a sinful guy.

lol. joe meets justin last night and...

joe: dang philly! nice jacket!
me: oh, that's justin's.
joe: oh really? can i try it on? (puts it on as he's asking. walks over to the mirror and takes out justin's cell phone and checks himself out).
me: ahahhahhhhaha.

at the arc...

joe: (talking about japanese people). oh you see that guy? he's a samurai too!
me: ahhahahaaahah.
joe: oh my, look at that guy! he looks like wifebeater! he is so going to beat his wife. (does an ugly face).
me: ahahahhahahah.
joe: dude, i should stop making fun of people and evanglize to him. like when we're resting, "hey buddy, you're going to hell...oh, you're saved? you sure don't look like it."
me: ahhahahahaha.

that guy is the funniest when he's talking about people. he always does this thing where he gives random strangers differnt nicknames. ahahahhahaha.

Thought of the Day: *crush*
Song of the Day: Killer Mike-Adidas

fudge. i can't believe this week is finally over. i really feel like everyone was hating 8th week b/c of midterms, papers, or in my case...BOTH! but by the grace of God, i can once again breathe and smile w/o worries. right now, my eyes are open but they don't see. i hear things but my ears don't listen. you know you had a very long week when you FEEL like you've been pulled an all-nighters when you really didn't. "together we sing. everyone sing, "Holy is the Lord, God Almighty."" amen.

i don't have enough time, energy, or desire to reflect on this past week so let's just do the list...

1. so much ball. i loved/needed it.
2. film studies paper-one of the worst papers i've ever written in my life.
3. april & zenia-fun times. fishhead, jjot, boba. fun times.
4. cramming for math midterm with eddie. so out of it.
5. taking the math midterm. even worse than the cramming.

things i'm looking forward to it...

1. in a few hours, i'll be seeing my best friend, bingsoo.
2. a few hours after that, i shall be in my brother's physical presence. i missed him alot.
3. flytothelimits (5:56:09 PM): 2 long months.
no feelings here.
4. chang's wedding. enough said.

Thought of the Day: It is finished.
Song of the Day: YSJ-Gawi

i just read my Nov. 17, 2002 blog entry from last year. thinking back, exactly one year ago i was SO not the same person i am today. one year ago, i was just struggling alot spiritually. so much indulgence and sin. i think i was at a state so low that even if i could go back in time and talk to the old phil, he still wouldn't listen to me. a very hard-heartened, discouraged, and sad person i was. i never would have thought i could be capable of such wickedness. but i do believe that even in my rebellious acts, God was/is sovereign. He can even use sin to ultimately bring glory to Himself. now that i think back, if i hadn't experienced those times of struggle, i wouldn't be able to give effective advice to friends of mine who are struggling with the similar things. i would not have become friends with alot of my dormmates who i try to evangelize to today. if i hadn't experienced those difficult times, i wouldn't be sitting here on my computer, reminicising the past and praising God for His love and grace. but it all goes back to Romans 5:20-21-6:1-2-"The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through rightesouness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?" Amen.

today at outreach, we had more volunteers for tutoring come out! i find it so encouraging to see more and more people join me in my misery. i mean if carol took me down, i'm going to take others with me! haha, JUST kidding! but really, not only is it alot easier on the rest of the teachers, but it's just so nice to see more hearts that are willing to serve. i think Pastor Andy made a very good point before we started our tutoring session today. he reminded everyone about 1 Cor. 10:31 (one my favorites)-"Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." he explained how whenever we become miserable or stressed out in ANYTHING that we do, we have totally lost focus of why we are doing what we are doing. if your motives have become so man-centered and independent of God, you are totally going to burn out and just be hating it. but whenever you have the mentality of doing it for God's glory, your deeds and actions become so much more meaningful. the end results are more rewarding, but most of all it pleases God. reader, whether you have that sucky job that barely pays over minimum wage or you have that math midterm to study for even though you are certain that you'll never see those equations ever again, whether you have to make some stupid collage that has nothing to do with English or you have to go to work while everyone else is watching that movie that just came out, think about WHY you are doing it. is merely just to make money or pass the class with a certain grade? is it merely just to accomplish the assignment or to keep yourself from being fired? May It Be SOLI DEO GLORIA.

for some reason, i've been hearing much about the topic of demon possession this year. we've all had those talks where we've heard about some guy who heard about some girl who was possessed by a demon or some garbage like that. now, i'm not bashing on the existence of demons or even the possibility of a demon entering a person's body. it is clear in the Bible that demons really do exist and that they have disturbed people in the past. i've even heard about people that I KNOW IN REAL LIFE who have had past experiences with hearing disturbing voices in their head...really scary stuff. when we all talk about these things, everyone gets all scared b/c of the thought of being possessed by a demon. i just think that it's really unimportant and not worth being afraid of. once again, i am not bashing on the reality of demons but i just think that it's nothing to pee in your pants about. i mean if you're a child of God, you have nothing to fear. you should be more concerned about living a life that is pleasing to God rather than worrying about some evil spirit randomly entering you someday. haha, it always goes back to Romans (8:38)-"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neigher angels nor demons , neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be albe to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." i may not be able to explain anything about demons, but i do know that it will never be able to separate me from God.

hmmmm, all i seem to be thinking about is how everything relates and goes back to God. i suppose that's a good thing...but now for at least one stupid thought.

i was doing my math hw earlier tonight and i felt really gross from eating a corndog. all of that oil and fat concentrated in that small piece of food. you know when you eat really greasy food, your face gets all oily and disgusting? well as i was thinking about this, i realized that i hadn't gotten a pimple in a LONG time! i remember back in high school, i'd get a new one as SOON as i had finished healing an old one. i would never ever have a clear face that was devoid of acne. i mean, don't get me wrong...i was no pizza face. my parents both have very decent skin so my face didn't explode or anything in my adolescent years. but i just thought it was cool how i hadn't had a pimple in SUCH a long time! i mean, we have those tiny baby ones around our foreheads that no one can see, but those don't really count. i'm talking about REAL pimples! those hill monsters that must be digged out carefully. the worst ones are the ones that grow on your nose. fudge, i hate them so much i'm not going to even bother to write about them.

Thought of the Day: Danny's mom has got it goin' on!
Song of the Day: Praise Team-Holy Is The Lord

my brother's xanga entry:

it was 7:50 and i just arrived school. i was just doing my usual thing: go to my locker, drops some stuff off or pick some stuff up and go chill with my friends before going to class. so while i was at my locker, there were these two girls. they were both cute too. so i was just taking some stuff out of my back pack and i over hear their conversation:

Girl 1: dang, i don't know who i'm going to hc with!

Girl 2: well he IS kinda hot, unless you think he's too fat.

Me: i'm not fat! i'm just chubby ok?!?!?!

Girl 2: huh? what are you talking about? who're you?

and i quickly closed my locker and left.


my brother makes me so proud.

i weigh 140 pounds. tapeworms.

Thought of the Day: D.
Song of the Day: 2pac & Biggie-Runnin' (Uncensored)

i watched Love Actually with carol and janet on friday. this movie has finally confirmed everything...kiera knightly is the prettiest girl in the whole world. you know the girl is pretty when you stop paying attention to plot and sound b/c all your senses are inevitably concentrated on that beautiful face. man, she had the perfect hairstyle too...BANGS! i LOVE girls with bangs. i seriously do not understand why girls these days do not have bangs! i'm not talking about those short baby wimpy bangs. i'm talking about long strands that go past the chin! yes reader, i've always found it so attractive on girls. but i suppose the rarity of the hairstyle also adds to the attraction. we all like what is uncommon no? yeah, i'm gonna make my wife have pretty bangs...even if it means divorce. but before i go off topic, i must add that kiera knightly also has a wonderful english accent. i love it i love it i love her! if i ever find out that she's a reformed calvinistic woman of God, i'm packing my bags and moving to england.

Thought of the Day: Too many compliments for one day.
Song of the Day: Billy Mack-Christmas Is All Around

you know, i've visited my blogger page alot of times but i never ended up writing anything. too many distracting conversations all tiring me out for the day (you hear me, carol?).

in my film studies class, the professor shows us short clips of different movies to give us examples of the many concepts she goes over in lecture. this freakin' lady is seriously the biggest teaser! she'll show us like the most interesting movies for like 2 min. and RIGHT when we're about to hit the climax, the pause button is hit, the lights turn back on, and out come the AWWWWWWWs. it makes me so angry b/c these clips are from movies that i've never even heard of! they're fun to watch as a class, but not fun enough to go out and rent on your own. there are even times where she'll just tell us the ending to the movie "just because." F! however, i am still continuing to enjoy this class very much along with my fellow classmates. someday, i'm going to tackle the professor and undo the pause. oh i can hear the applause already. =D

another class i'm taking this quarter is beginning calculus. with math, i was never an A student, but i really appreciate the material. i think it's so amazing how many formulas and theorems are all so organized and work out together. this awesome design and order of numbers in this language we call math...there is no way man could have come up with such a thing. the ideas and theories behind it all is just a glimpse of God's awesomeness.

but speaking of math, don't you just love it when you solve the most difficult problems? you know those crazy word problems (we all hate those stupid word problems) that give you "The Givens" and you have to find "The Unknowns." you have to figure out which formula or equation will work and you struggle with all those inconvenient numbers (why do we have a number like "pie?"). but in the end, we write out that long ugly number and check in the answer book. *gasp* "i got it right! problem #1 done. 50 more to go." but seriously, isn't that like the greatest feeling? it's freakin' rewarding! i think that's one thing i like about math...

another subject that is really rewarding is writing. writing takes up a grip of your time with all that reading and editing and dictionary and thesaurus and office hours. so much time and effort. so much thought and emotion. but when you get that paper back from the professor and see an unexpected A, you are so happy! you almost convince yourself that all those hours were so worth it...almost. yeah, writing is also definitely a rewarding subject. hmmmm, why am i talking about these things?

the other day, me, dykas, and sean went to garden grove to go watch Matrix. "i'm sorry, we're not showing today. it opens tomorrow." then why do you have showtimes on the internet? why do you have the words, "The Matrix" up on your list of movies outside? we had to do SOMETHING for coming all the way to garden grove, so we watched Scary Movie 3. yeap, just as bad as the first two. but you know what? now that i think about it, i think i actually enjoyed this movie more than Matrix Revolutions, which i just saw a few hours ago. ok here it comes...if you don't like hearing critique, particularly from me, right now would be a good time to just skip to the next paragraph. i HATED Matrix Revolutions. right after the movie ended, i couldn't believe how bad it was that i started laughing by myself. i couldn't believe how bad that movie was. to be honest, i think this was one of the worst movies i've ever seen in my life. HARSH i sound right now! not enough fight scenes. the few fight scenes were weak. just a bad bad ending. those clever matrix producers stealing all of our money. a sharp contrast with aaron...

aaron: what'd you think?
me: (trying to be nice). i thought it was ok.
aaron: just ok?
me: did you like it?
aaron: i loved it!
me: (smile).
aaron: the ending was GREAT!
me: (fake smile).

well on the bright side, if you haven't seen the movie yet, you'll be going in with pretty low expectations if you took my words seriously. hopefully, you'll enjoy it much more than i did b/c i honestly believe that out of everyone who's seen it so far, i feel the most indignation. i'm actually happy for people like aaron and in many ways, i wish i could just simply enjoy many movies like him. i think when it comes to movies, i am just one fastidious bastard...well, at least i always share the same opinion with my brother.

today, dykas and i had the girlfriend talk. we both promised each other that we'd have at least one girlfriend before Nov. 5, 2005. we both agreed that if we did not hold to this pact, it meant that we would not get married and we'll probably end up devoting our lives to the missions field. lol.

alrite, i'm done digesting Carl's Jr. i think i can put the body to rest now.

Thought of the Day: "Brrrreeeuuuuhhh!"
Song of the Day: WC-Gangsta Nation

crawford sucks at driving.

chilloween...

so much better than i expected. a very good turnout in numbers and the food was excellent. man, dennis' new place is really nice...you can definitely imagine having x-mas sleepovers at that place. me gusta! oh when i was looking through his rooms, i spotted his bookshelf of theological books. ANY yg student who saw what i saw would automatically be reminded of chang. lol. lots of singing, laughing, charades, and punishments. rain was another thumbs up. that stinkin' piece of ash, i mean my car really needed a good shower of rain. man, i hadn't seen a nice pouring of rain in a while. it was so refreshing! i think of all the halloweens, this was my favorite one. "HEY, everyone listen up!" lol.

outreach...

my student's name is Michiyoshi. he's a 6th grader from Japan...like RIGHT off the boat. anyways, he's a really bright student, especially in "maass" (math). before i started tutoring him, dan song was his teacher and apparently he was very cool with him. everytime we have a break, michiyoshi draws a picture of any ugly person, draws and arrow with the word, "YOU" and airplanes it dan song's head. lol. cracks me up everytime...

dan: what're you teaching your student?
me: ahahahahahhaha.

but i think it's great how we're using our new building for reaching out to the community. however, i think it'd be greater if we had some more willing hearts to volunteer and put this building to better use. ideally, we're supposed to have one teacher per student. right now, it's like less than 10 teachers with 20 students? if you're busy with alotta stuff, i totally understand. but if you can sacrifice your saturday sleepins to help us out, that'd be awesome (Romans 12:1).

no studying vs. spending too much money...

i ate dongchimee with carol again. i think it's one of my favorite things to eat now...nengmyun and bulgogi were so meant to be together.

i didn't get to study b/c too many people came to visit irvine.
result: Brother Bear with mariela, crawford, carol, and simon (more money) and in n out afterwards (more more more!).
result's result: in approximately 1 hour, i will start my arduous journey of books and flash cards until my 1pm class tomorrow. i haven't crammed in a long time so i'm gonna be a little rusty tonight.

i am a sinner. i need grace everyday.

Thought of the Day: 1 Cor. 12:7-10
Song of the Day: Give You My World Album

just got back from la.

irvine vs. usc...8 wins 3 losses:
dykas is the most dangerous baller i know b/c his appearance is SO deceptive. for his weight and height, he can jump and drive really really well. he can read people very well when he's playing D so he averages one block per game. but his most dangerous skill is his consistent shot. that's really the only reason why we won today. he scored 80% of all our points! i used to hate playing with dykas before but now he's my favorite person to play with. i don't know if he can say the same about me but that's ok...every team has to have at least one sucky player. =D i like playing with joey too...aka LFM (last five min.) and PND (plays no defense). lol.

chonos:
ghetto burrito joint. burrito wasn't that great but my hunger enjoyed it.

kcm:
pretty reluctant to go but majority outruled. speakers talked about Jesus or personal testimony but ended up concluding by encouraging everyone to come out to a winter conference. !!! it was as if all of tonight's messages were geared towards promoting that one event! good intentions but dude, your presentation was totally taking away all the glory!

home cafe:
fobs are so funny. fobs are so greedy (dduk whore). albert is a fob.

rewind....

7am. Midas. tired. radiator. leak. replacement. $365. F.

i've spent about $1000 on fixing my car now. that's 200% of what i bought my car for. can there possibly be anymore problems? my goal is to be able to use it through sophomore year. that'd be a great accomplishment.

another hilarious


Thought of the Day: "Ssagaajee!"
Song of the Day: CB Mass-Movement

tonight, i was chilling with a whole bunch of college group people at someone's house. just mindless fun, eating, laughing, and looking around the house. i remember making april and esther park (la freshmen) crack up so hard and all of our faces turning red. anyways, i went to the living room where it was nice and cool so i just sat on the sofa. hey, they set up their coffee table just like drew's apt.! after playing around with the funny remote control, i found out how to access the batcave and later found out that eugene was really batman! nice try, eugene...

i was never really interested in the circus until tonight. i was with someone but currently my memory seems to be failing me. so many great events with the giraffes and the fireworks and the colors. beautiful. my friend that was accompanying me became really cool with the circus owner and started working in his office. anyways, it was time to go and i remember being raised REALLY high on one of the giraffe's necks. oh the life-threatening height! clinging onto the man's shirt, i apologized and he told me not to worry about it. arrival: San Francisco. my friend finds the circus owner a very attractive korean girl who looks really similar to Tia Carrere, except she's a fob. it's just like you see it in tv when the friend tries to hook you up with a really nice person.

after the show, dinko and i get dropped off at my car near the beach late at night. farewell to the circus and hello to 4 flat tires! two cross dressers who really looked like women offered to help but i refused. apologies to dinko and he gives me his smile and tells me not to worry. i'm so pissed and stressed that i wanna cry. i shake my head telling myself that this HAD to be a dream...

and i'm still grateful that it was. my car was low on coolant about a month ago so i stopped by Jiffy Lube and got it all taken care of. this past sunday, my car started heating up so i filled it up with coolant again. today, i pulled out of my parking spot at school and saw a whole buncha green on the ground. *shaking fist* my car ALWAYS has problems! as a result, i need to take my car to Midas at 7:30 in the morning tomorrow. car trouble always gives you stress. stress gives you naps with bad dreams.

Thought of the Day: Not so excited about Thursday morning.
Song of the Day: Blink 182-Feeling This

yesterday...

me: dillon, do you know what common and proper nouns are?
dillon: yes. common noun would be like "boy." proper noun would be "Dillon." common noun, "girl." proper noun, "Jordan."
me: ahhahahahahahah.
jordan: hey shuttup!

as immature as it sounds, i thought it was some high quality humor!

in the beginning of my senior year, i began studying apologetics with chang. i remember that past summer, alot of my friends were going to take the Humanities course so their summer reading happened to be the Bible! i remember in my past experiences, my favorite argument against atheists was, "have you ever read the whole Bible? how can you say that the Bible isn't true if you haven't read the book?" so this was in a sense, payback time and oh yeah, i was going to pay. these unbelieving sinners finished that 1000 page book in 2 months while i had my whole life to pace myself, and hadn't even finished a single testament. oh yes, i was convicted! i even remember the night that i began Genesis. it was Barnes & Noble, the one next to Hillsdale. i was determined to finish the sucker in 3 months. (smile).

well, i've been through alot since that night i started to read the Bible. over the months, i was reading the Old Testament straight up. big mistake. i think i struggled alot in those months w/o any New Testament nourishment. in those months, i learned that you need a healthy balance of the two testaments. not JUST NEW or JUST OLD, but a little bit of BOTH! one thing i take pride in is the fact that i was very consistent with my Bible reading despite the lack of ANY accountability from anyone. even though no one asked me how i was doing scripturally, by the grace of God i was one consistent bastard. even after those regretful mornings in the dorms, i always managed to open up the book and read to start off my day.

that same boy who promised chang that he'd finish the Bible in three months has finally finished today. not to boast, but rather to encourage: if phil can read the whole Bible, ANYBODY can read the whole Bible!

thanks for the haircut, dykas.

i like this


Thought of the Day: I'm so excited about Thursday.
Song of the Day: Phil Wickham-Jesus, Lord Of Heaven

i'm in one of those rare moods where i actually FEEL like blogging! perhaps it is b/c i am done with my first round of midterms. perhaps it is b/c the weekend has finally come. perhaps it is b/c i am digesting my beloved double-double. perhaps it is b/c i am listening to dinko's Audioslave-Like A Stone. perhaps i am just so randomly happy right now...

my math midterm was freakin' difficult. so many problems with so little time. so many derivatives with so little space. but there's no point in worrying about it now. i'm done and there's nothing i can do about it. i tried and i tried and i even found myself enjoying math MUCH more than senior year. may God be pleased!

tonight for bible study, we went over Predestination! ooooooo what a topic! i am so encouraged whenever we study the fundamentals of reformed theology. i LOVE it! so we're going over this huge topic and i actually found myself having NO doubts or questions at all. i was kinda surprised/discouraged to see so many people with such "basic" questions concerning Romans 9 and Ephesians 1. that's the arrogant and sinful side of me talking. i was so blessed to have a teacher like chang to teach me all the goods at such a young age. i am so grateful to God that He has given me such understanding and knowledge concerning these reformed truths. i rejoice in these mysteries as i see more and more of God's glory. all glory to Him. i know i say that alot but may it be true!

tonight, i talked to ben kang for the first time. i've never actually shared anything or even prayed with him before. it's funny how that arrogant bastard can say some encouraging things to you...not cliches, but things you've actually never heard before. i almost feel energized for the first time, all encouraged to live more passionately in this sinful world. God can even use droopy-eyed ben for good purposes!

i never enjoyed reading the book of Revelations until recently. as a child, this book was one of the scariest books to ever be written in history. the destruction, the persecution of christians, the battle against Satan. but now that i have a better understanding of eschatology, i find this book to be so much more encouraging! apart from the fallen angels, evil dragons, and falling believers, there is the coming of Christ! with all the sin and chaos in this world, there will be Christ! we're all going home guys...we're finally going home! and i'll get to say my "all glory to Him"'s forever and ever. encouraging.

Thought of the Day: "Who do you like?"
Song of the Day: Jars Of Clay-Flood

i made a pretty big move with my students today. everyone knows that kids absolutely cannot sit still for more than one minute. jordan likes to put his feet on my legs, rock his chair, lean on me, punch me in the face, flick my face...HARRASS ME! dillon likes to rock back and forth, take the book off the table and position it so that i cannot see the words, stand on top of the chair, and pick his ear with a pencil. yeah, i don't like that last one either. so as i was saying, i made a pretty big move with my students today. i got so sick of all this fidgeting from these restless kids that i offered them a deal...

me: jordan, you're like a monkey! you just won't sit still! you wanna hug me, put your feet on me, and lean on me! MONKEY BOY!!!
jordan: ahahahahhah. i'm not a monkey!
me: ok i'll tell you what. jordan, if you can sit still w/o moving around ONCE, i'll give you anything you want!
jordan: *gasp*

me: dillon, ANYTHING you want!
dillon: (smiles and stares off into space).

you see, my plan was to see what they wanted and to just give them their rewards for x-mas, while they attempted to sit still the whole time. it'd be like killing 2 birds with 1 stone! i thought there was no way they could sit still for the whole 30 min. or 1 hour w/o rocking that cursed chair once or touching any part of my body. they are to sit just as i sit! so after i explain the rules to dillon, we go for a practice run today. that kid did not budge once! freakin' a, the bastard really wants that pokemon game. looks like the birds are going to throw that stone back at me.

Thought of the Day: (tanx)'=-sec^2 x
Song of the Day: Justin Timberlake-Like I Love You

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Moderate
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

i'm a much healthier person compared to last year.

Thought of the Day: Chili's was a bad idea.
Song of the Day: INOJ-Love You Down

i'm really enjoying my film studies class right now. ever since i started taking the class, my whole perspective on advertisement has changed. like when i watch commercials or see ads in magazines, i see what they're REALLY trying to sell. it's kinda like how neo sees the matrix as it really is with all the codes and junk. when i watch a commercial, i no longer enjoy it like i used to cause i'm too busy analyzing it now. but i really enjoy talking about film stuff with hannah. we both agree that we cannot discuss such things with "the ignorant," while we can appeciate these stupid things by ourselves...

me: hey, you see his hands? you should talk about how they're old so it's directed more towards an older audience.
hannah: oh yeah! like being old means wisdom!
me: oh yeah! that's good...like experienced and stuff!
hannah: yeah!

we are so cool.

there's been this recurring theme of dealing with temptations in my life lately. like in my book, The Purpose Driven Life, it was talking about fighting temptations and being faithful. and this sunday, dennis preached about how every temptation we face is an opportunity to be faithful to God. the same exact theme in 3 days! sounds and looks like a coincidence but i strongly disagree! but really, this idea of having an "opportunity" has really encouraged me to be faithful in numerous different situations. Jesus faced every temptation and never fell. may we strive to be like Christ!

random: you know what really bothers and annoys me? you know when people pray and do that whole "lord father God father lord" crap? you know, the whole..."Dear heavenly father lord god, we thank you for this day heavenly father lord god." (shaking head). they say that phase at least twice in every sentence of their prayer! what i'm thinking is...do you not know what saying the Lord's name in vain means? lemme give you an example by iming carol right now...

Pretzelboi96 (12:32:45 AM): carol, how was your day today carol?
cRzYkRnGaL (12:32:47 AM): oh
cRzYkRnGaL (12:32:48 AM): haha
cRzYkRnGaL (12:33:06 AM): hmm... it was pretty tiring actually
Pretzelboi96 (12:33:27 AM): what was so tiring about it carol?
cRzYkRnGaL (12:34:20 AM): i think the weekend just caught up with me and i was extremely tired
Pretzelboi96 (12:34:41 AM): carol, you should rest carol
cRzYkRnGaL (12:34:44 AM): cuz i drove around a lot over the weekend... going to cerritos, back to r-side... blahblah then to la blahblah
cRzYkRnGaL (12:35:03 AM): haha.. phil are u just saying that so u can leave too phil?
Pretzelboi96 (12:35:11 AM): lol

and now olivia...

Pretzelboi96 (12:33:05 AM): olivia
Pretzelboi96 (12:33:12 AM): what'd you do today olivia?
SwTpiNkStaR (12:33:13 AM): /
SwTpiNkStaR (12:33:30 AM): i told u
SwTpiNkStaR (12:33:34 AM): is this phiL?
Pretzelboi96 (12:33:40 AM): olivia, i asked you how it was
Pretzelboi96 (12:33:44 AM): not what you did olivia
Pretzelboi96 (12:34:06 AM): and yes olivia, this is phil
SwTpiNkStaR (12:34:38 AM): why do u keep sayin mai name?
SwTpiNkStaR (12:34:49 AM): ok...
Pretzelboi96 (12:34:52 AM): olivia, does it sound foolish when i'm saying your name?
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:01 AM): no...it's BEAUTIFUL
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:09 AM): but u sound weird phil
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:12 AM): like it's not phil
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:15 AM): but ok
Pretzelboi96 (12:35:16 AM): lol
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:16 AM): anyways
Pretzelboi96 (12:35:23 AM): just an experiment
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:36 AM): experiment?
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:40 AM): why phil?
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:46 AM): is it supposed to sound foolish phil?
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:56 AM): when u keep repeating someone's name phil?

see my point?

if there is one name we should not be abusing, it should be the LORD'S! i understand that sometimes we're just trying to emphasize how He's our father and God and whatnot, but more often that not...it's mindless. if you're a victim, please do change or im me and i'll war with you. otherwise, spread the word if you're in consent! =D

Thought of the Day: Illegibility has consequences.
Song of the Day: Avril Lavigne-My World

aaron: guys make fun of each other. that's how they bond.
eddie: then how do girls bond? they cry huh? they cry together and become closer to each other.

joe: hey, do you play ball?
freshmen: no, i'm REALLY bad!
joe: oooooooo really? you wanna play for money?

ahahahahahhha.

Thought of the Day: Bacardi Limon. Unexpected.
Song of the Day: Chris Tomlin-Holy Is The Lord

i'm sure everyone can agree with me that we're all relieved that cafe nite is over. that day was seriously killing me physically. when you're too stressed out, your body won't allow you to fall asleep. with only 2 hours of sleep, saturday was really working me...even if i wasn't as productive as the rest of cpc. anyways, a little disappointed that almost every person in irvine who was supposed to come did not come. but people DID come and that's all that matters. dinko and zenia did a terrific job MCing. great videos. every performance definitely reflected all those hours of practice...lol, dinko's the man! praise God for a very decent cafe nite!

Kill Bill is good. i knew it was going to be good. if you made a movie like Pulp Fiction, you are one dope bastard.

tutoring has been going through some weird stages lately. basically, dillon and jordan have switched roles in who gets to be the bastard student. i think b/c i was so cool with jordan, he saw me more as a friend than a teacher. as a result, he's been trying to step all over me and not expect me to be productive with him. man, i really dislike scolding him b/c i know he gets all sullen and starts hating our times together. on the contrary, my times with dillon have become alot better. i've learned that he's a very smart student and he's been hating it b/c i was going too slow. well, i'm kinda letting him lead the way and i think he's been enjoying it these days. why can't i just have two very good students? i mean, those kids get to have a really good teacher! =D

anyways, i think my days of stress have finally settled down. i am all caught up with my readings for film studies. it's good to have a regular pace of school now. all those hours at common's. seriously, it is only by God's grace that i could've done all that reading. only by His grace.

we started clusters last night. looks like we have a group of 14 if everyone comes out. freakin' a, you call that a small group? more like the Church of Irvine. haha. anyways, it was good. we all gave charges to the year below us and ended in prayer. nice way to start off our year of clusters. gosh, we have so much pride in our clusters group. we know that we shouldn't be but we all know we're such an awesome group. no one dislikes going to clusters. but irvine clusters or not, may God really work in every group this year.

i met J at the arc tonight. man, i really need to go visit everyone.

i got rid of all my popups and succesfully installed Easy CD Creator 5 Platinum.

Thought of the Day: "Vegas baby! AAAAAAHHHHH!"
Song of the Day: Chris Tomlin-Holy Is The Lord

"Your most profound and intimate experiences of worship will likely be in your darkest days-when your heart is broken, when you feel abandoned, when you're out of options, when the pain is great-and you turn to God alone. It is during suffering that we learn to pray our most authentic, heartfelt, honest-to-God prayers. When we're in pain, we don't have the energy for supeficial prayers."
-Rick Warren

Thought of the Day: Our skit is going to be dope.
Song of the Day: Party Song

1st half of thursday was BAD...

1. i really dislike it when the teacher is willing to hold up the whole class just b/c some dumb students have some dumb questions. "is there going to a problem like #39 on the quiz?" the teacher says no and still goes over the whole problem just b/c of the student doesn't understand. after that tedious process, we just start all over again with another raised hand.

2. film studies discussion. icons, symbols, and market value. they all speak of a language that i do not understand. stop looking at me, expecting to hear some intelligent contribution to the group. lost - Past tense and past participle of lose. lose - To fail to hear, see, or understand.

3. korean-1st draft story due monday. cafe nite is really preventing any productive school work from happening.

4. effect: 10 min. late to tutoring. cause: driving on campus instead of harvard. 2 REALLY bad drivers caused me to stop at 2 min. red lights. "GOD! WHY?!"


2nd half of thursday was GOOD...

1. actually fell alseep and woke up 2 hours later.

2. find parking at hannah's place and enter right in time for Friends.

3. delectable pie.

4. go over all film studies lectures/studios in 2 hours. the material i find interest. i've never had so much gratitude for hannah.

5. visit jack's place. nice place.

6. get a chunk of the film studies reading done. the contrast b/w the readings from history and film studies is incredible. i was actually enjoying what i was reading earlier tonight. this stuff on film and art and media is so interesting! and dude, you can't go wrong with books that are loaded with pictures. out of there by 2am.

7. find parking!

i concluded the night with a praise to God...hands lifted up and looking up into the sky. a very content smile...

let's just hope that smile can last throughout the weekend.

Thought of the Day: Dykas liked Swingers!
Song of the Day: Tamaki Nami-Realize

as you can tell from my last entry, i've been pretty stressed out with school...particularly with history. b/c i hadn't finished the reading that day, i finished it yesterday in common's. just sat there and read. you read and don't stop until you've come to an end of a chapter. you read even if you don't understand words that show up in every paragraph like "kleptocracy." curse that word cause i don't care! i need to get this reading done!

so basically, i ended up finishing ALL of it around 1am last night and signed onto aim...

hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:41:32 AM): wut happened?!!
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:41:38 AM): did u get added?
Pretzelboi96 (1:41:47 AM): looks like it's not going to happen
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:41:51 AM): awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:41:52 AM): awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:41:54 AM): awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:41:56 AM): freaking...
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:42:02 AM): y did u figure out ur passion for film studies so lATE!

(checking email).

Pretzelboi96 (1:42:18 AM): omg wait
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:42:29 AM): ??
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:22 AM): haha
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:43:26 AM): ????
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:28 AM): ok so i guess i can add
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:43:29 AM): awwwww freaking
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:43:32 AM): u cAN?!
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:43:33 AM): u got in?!!
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:34 AM): i just got an email
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:38 AM): tomorrow
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:39 AM): 5pm
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:43:39 AM): YAY!!!!
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:41 AM): her office
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:46 AM): omg dude
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:43:53 AM): YAYAYAYAY
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:54 AM): i read 133 pages yesterday and today for history
Pretzelboi96 (1:44:04 AM): i JUST finished reading 15 min. ago
Pretzelboi96 (1:44:12 AM): literally 7 hours of reading
Pretzelboi96 (1:44:23 AM): i had a feeling something like this was going to happen

i didn't know whether to feel happy or angry. it was a little bit of both. there's still a part of me that is angry about all the pointless reading/stressing i did. i even hesitated to go to the professor's office today to add the class, wondering if it really was worth it. i've missed 2 weeks of lectures and studio. but after a talk with hannah, i think i'm going to give it a try. point of no return. do or die. hit or miss. no pain, no gain. no guts, no glory. if i'm going down, i'm going down in flames. if you know you're going to get wet anyways, might as well go swimming. ok shuttup.

that market thing on ring road finally came this week. i bought 2 posters...the Rap Gods one that i always wanted and a Swingers poster! "Baby, you are so money, and you don't even know it man!!" lol. that's what it says at the bottom with this tight pose of trent, mikey, and lou. once i bought that poster, i knew right away that Swingers was my favorite movie. ignorance, immaturity, and insecurity of guys...all nicely grafted into a hilarious movie. you love it b/c you can relate. girls love it b/c they see it happening in real life. somebody hurry and get this movie another award!

cafe nite this saturday. dykas and i actually practiced the whole skit today and it looks alot better than when we first started. starting next week, my life should be getting a whole lot better. class schedules, working days, and steady church activities beginning next week. we can do this guys! hwateeng!

Thought of the Day: C-P-C!!!
Song of the Day: Schubert-Ave Maria

a day of humility...

1. i don't have a printout of my history lecture notes.
2. film studies not added. looks very unlikely.
3. shin ramen is CUP shin ramen! dissatisfying. glasses of milk only add to the diarrhea.
4. decide not to tutor due to lack of strength.
5. cannot even fall asleep for an energizing nap.
6. fall asleep around 6:30 and wake up to phone calls.
7. bad dinner.
8. 5 hours of reading and still do not finish reading 133 pages on history of Southeastern Asia and crops of fruit.
9. find out that i was supposed to tutor at 6:30 today. postponed to tomorrow at 8. gonna miss the first meeting of clusters.
10. no parking in Parkwest. two parking spots are taken up by one car. resort to parking next to Chevron. btw, this is at 1am.
11. not much rice left in the cooker ready for me to eat tomorrow morning.

ok that last one was forced but i am just tired, stressed, and distressed.

James 1:2-3-Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

it is when we are humbled that we depend on God the most. don't complain phil.

Thought of the Day: The End.
Song of the Day: David Crowder-Holy Is The Lord

man, so many freshmen every week...

1. ken.
2. erica.
3. joyce.
4. yo-han.
5. julie.
6. fred.

asking them the same questions and giving them the same advice. so many stinkin' freshmen.

anyways, i really wanna drop history. i had a talk with hannah and she was telling me all these wonderful things about film studies. that's all i could think about these days. will the professor add me tomorrow even though there's a "waitlist?" will others drop it for whatever reason so that i can replace them? God was giving me all the signs...

1. history is a GRIP of reading.
2. minh's in my discussion.
3. film studies is supposed to be REALLY good.
4. if i drop history, my earliest class will be at 12!

i was thinking today about how i'm part of welcoming committee and how i'm supposed to be real welcoming to new visitors. then a crazy thought struck my head! what if minh came out to cpc? how would i act towards him? would i even greet him? man, we as christians are not supposed to have beef with anybody. i'm probably the worst example of a christian in his life. i really should've cleared things up with him right before i left the dorms. i don't have to LIKE him, but i should've at least reconciled. now, i'm just left with awkwardness and shame. oh the weight of pride.

today's message on prayer was a really good message. i wasn't enjoying it much at the time, but when i think about it i can't help but feel compelled to PRAY! we ought to pray all the time for it is a sign of reverence and humility to our God. how awesome it is to even have the privilege of coming before our Lord and calling Him, Father. only by His love and grace. we should really take advantage of prayer as well. we should never be lacking in prayer and thanksgiving. AMEN!

another thing i realized today...

i met yo-han at ccm on wednesday and took him home from church today. that guy seriously just loves talking about God and nothing else...kinda reminded me of darren. however, when i started talking to julie or fred, we'd talk more about superficial things like school and people. the sad thing was that i felt more comfortable talking to fred and julie, while alotta my conversation with yo-han was kinda forced. man, i've become so shallow, so consumed with this world that i would prefer to talk about stupid meaningless things over talking about God. the Bible says that the words that come out of our mouth often reflect our heart. sinful.

the christian life is all about seeing more of your sinfulness and seeing more of God's holiness. it's humbling but i think at the same time it should be encouraging. how AWESOME it is that we have a God who is SO much holier than us.

Romans 5:20-21- The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

oh how this is hitting me on the head right now! praise God!

Thought of the Day: I think I'm pretty.
Song of the Day: Chris Tomlin-Holy Is The Lord

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Thought of the Day: Errands.
Song of the Day: Wax-Money

man, i can't believe i'm blogging right now.

man, i was so productive today. after class, i studied at common's for the first time in my life. i actually went inside and read my stupid history book for 2 hours. yeah i took a nap for 15 min. but the point is, i actually sat there and accomplished my goal.

brandywine really sucks now. eddie swiped me in for dinner so i was really excited to eat some good ol' pasta and phillycheesesteak sandwiches with my caesar salad. *angry sigh* no more salad and no pasta. fries are same as pippin's and common's and the sandwiches aren't even the same. that budget cut is really hurting us students. i mean, the poor freshmen can't even enjoy brandywine like i did. and if they can't enjoy it, that means i can't enjoy it with them. that schwarzenegger better do something about it if he becomes governor. "calilflower." lol.

is it just me or does this season of Friends really suck? i'm seriously only watching it now to see what's going to happen b/w rachel, ross, and joey. the cast is so not funny anymore. you can even hear the audience forcing their laughs. goodness, the writers must be hating it right now.

so as i was saying, i was really productive today. i actually went to go work out at the arc b/c of sean's motivational im. man, it feels SO good to be working out again. my 2 mile time wasn't so bad either-18:23. but gosh, i was seriously hating it on the last half mile. haha. i remember telling myself that i'm never ever going to eat greasy food again. i started thinking about the dorm food i had eaten for dinner, last night's midnight Doritos, and that cheesy pizza from Domino's with my roommates. fiiiiig that was good. haha. but FUDGE i was hating it on the last half mile.

i saw alotta people at the arc today...joyce, joanne, ted, james, joe, simon, gerald, euggie (lol), ashley, joe, eddie, cpc eddie, allan, john, and kris! man, kris changed sooo much...

kris: phil.
me: (looking around).
kris: phil, it's me!
me: (stare).
kris: KRIS!
me: (staring some more)...omg, i didn't even recognize you. you look SO different!
kris: really? how?
me: maybe it's the makeup.
kris: i'm not wearing any makeup. but i did lose 15 pounds.
me: yeah! you got alot skinnier. wow!

man, her face lost like alotta fat. you can see her cheekbones and stuff now. woman, you gotta gain some weight! but she got alot prettier. =D

so i'm all caught up with my reading. i read a good 80 pages on cavemen and food production. cavemen stuff is boring. food production was actually interesting. i think i'm actually going to get alot out of this history course. it's OH SO MUCH READING but i can't deny that i'm learning.

i still can't remember why i decided to blog tonight.

Thought of the Day: "Big L, rest in peace!"
Song of the Day: Gangstar-Full Clip

venting thoughts...

i guess this is the first official week of school. this year is SO much busier than freshmen year. i think it's mainly b/c i'm working and going to school now. it just takes up alotta time and energy. i leave the apt. at 11 and come home at 5:30 everyday. draining. i seriously do not see anyway for me to make time to work out cause by the time i get home, i just won't have enough energy to study (like i do anyways right?). inconsistent. man, i really wanna start working out again too. when i'm this discouraged, how the heck am i going to manage next year? am i doomed to stay out of shape forever?

last night, i started watching Gaeul Donghwa with dykas on his computer cause we got the cds from a friend. that was definitely my most favorite drama ever. i remember watching that crap during my junior year. my brother and i watched the first two videos so many times cause we liked it so much. it's like whatevers now but at the time, it was SO DEPRESSING as if it were in real life...

(in spanish AP taking a test)...
me: (stare). *sigh*

lol. my brother always cracks up when i tell him about that incident. but yeah, song hye gyo is still so attractive. i can't believe she was like only 18 or 19 at the time. good stuff man.

well i had a pretty long day today. class from 11-3 nonstop and tutor til 5. you know what's crazy? last night, i had a dream of my old dorm roommate, minh. if you don't remember, we ended on pretty bad terms and didn't even say bye to each other on the last day. so anyways, i had a dream about him which is really weird b/c i've never dreamt about him in my life. well like most dreams, i didn't remember what happened but i just forgot about it and went to school. the thing is, i heard from one of my friends that he was taking the same history class as me. i didn't think much of it since it's a pretty big lecture hall and you usually can't see people you know anyways.

so i go to my tiny tiny discussion section today. woah, richard's in this class...and he's in my discussion too! what a coincidence. so about 15 min. into the class, door opens, and in walks minh. i straight up said in my head, "GOD, that is so not funny!" of all the classes, of all the discussions, we just had to end up in the same one. and unforutnately, discussion is mandatory and part of your grade so yeah, i'll be seeing him every time there's class. oh the awkwardness...i hate it. i wonder how hard God is laughing right now.

better news: my two kids are liking me more and more. i know jordan enjoys studying with me cause we have alot of fun...

me: "voices." jordan, use that in a sentence.
jordan: philip has many strange voices.
me: ahahhahahaha.

as i was leaving today...

jordan: you know philip...
mom: yeah, you like him alot huh?
jordan: no, is he coming tomorrow?

GRIN.

i think dillon's liking me more too. no hard evidence but i got a hunch. very subtle things. the best part is that i can see them improving little by little. praise God!

speaking of which, i went out to ccm today for the first time in a long time. lots of old familiar faces and a handful of new freshmen. but i made a big decision today: i'm going to stop going out to ccm. i never went for the "fellowship" or accountability or whatever. i just went out to meet people cause i didn't know too many christians my freshmen year. but now, i just feel like i'm going and i'm wasting my time. i don't feel like socializing and they just go out and eat more often than i can afford...especially with new freshmen and all. haha. now i understand why genie and eugene stopped coming out last year. it all makes sense now. however, i still encourage freshmen to go to these clubs to meet people. great place to meet people and occasional good messages. that's about it.

i don't know if it's b/c i'm really busy these days but i really enjoy spending time in the apt. it's just so quiet and relaxing. i can just sit at my computer and listen to music. i can do my hw and study in solitude. i can sleep and eat with no trouble at all. ugh, what am i kidding...i'm getting old.

Thought of the Day: Exhausted.
Song of the Day: Notorious BIG-Going Back To Cali

i slept too much on saturday. 11 hours at night and 2 hours during the day. our bodies were not meant to be dormant for more than half a day. i am punished with insomnia on this early sunday morning.

as i was tossing and turning in my bed, i started thinking about the new freshmen of this year. i've been trying to give alotta advice to the new students and encourage them to do things differently from my past. but i've come to realize that i sound just like any other old guy who told me the same things right before i became a freshmen. you listen to what they have to say, you nod your head, and try to understand just what the heck they were talking about. the truth is, you're not going to understand what i was talking about until you've actually experienced it...and boy are they going to experience alot

-the lonely first two weeks
-dorm food, meal after meal
-visiting home and feeling really different (this does not apply to deprived Cerritos residents)
-getting lost on campus
-cramming like you've never crammed before
-meeting hundreds of people and being asked where you're from and what your major is
-LOVING dormlife
-HATING dormlife
-using your feet as your main source of transportation
-late night foodruns
-homesickness

i remember dave and i were talking about different transitions that we make in life. we both agreed that the transition from high school senior year to college freshmen year is a HUGE step. when you take a high school senior and a college freshmen, you have two people on different planets. you just experience so much in that first year. man, you're either going to fall hard or grow hard.

so enough about them and more about ME! i am now a sophomore in college. i feel like i've become so much more independent in these past few months. as i was eating dinner by myself today, i thought about how i'm doing a pretty good job of taking care of myself. i really feel like i can live in this so called world and really manage ok. i've had plenty of work experience. i can go to the market and cook my own meals. i even know how to pay my own bills. if i am lacking something, i know how to meet the need. if there is a problem, i will be able to find a solution. look at me mom, i'm all growed up!

Philippians 2:12-13- Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

i was sitting for a while and just thinking about my spiritual life these days. all i could think of was SINNER. this idea of having an attitude of "fear and trembling," is really incredible. this God that we serve and love and pray to...how often do we come before Him in fear and trembling? our omnipotent and sovereign God that we are to revere, do we really fear Him? i was reviewing tomorrow's Bible study and read through the first two chapters of Judges.

Judges 2:4- When the angel of the Lord had spoken these things to all the Israelites, the people wept aloud

seriously, the only times that i will fear God is when He disciplines me and i am humbled. it's like my sinful nature will not allow me to have this fear and love for God unless i am broken. WHY?! i mean, we're called to live these holy lives with holy attitudes and i can't do it. i'm just so dry and i try and try but i just cannot. so i continue to sit and stare and continue thinking to myself, SINNER. i read and pray and i feel like i can only ask God to break me so that i would live a more obedient life that is pleasing to Him.

but i suppose i keep forgetting the second part of the verse in Philippians: "for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." it is God who works in me and not myself. it is only by HIM that i can have an attitude of fear and trembling. our God is a God of grace. i cannot forget that. it is only by his grace that we can do all things.

Philippians 1:6- that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until th day of Christ Jesus.

praise God.

Thought of the Day: Grace.
Song of the Day: David Crowder-Deliver Me

me: so dillon, can i see your diary?
dillon: no.
me: why not?
dillon: because i didn't write in it.
me: why not?
dillon: because i write in it when i want to write in it.
me: can you start writing in it everyday?
dillon: no.
me: why not?
dillon: because i write in it when i want to write in it.

me: do you like it when i teach you?
dillon: no.
me: so dillon, how can i improve?
dillon: i don't know.
me: is it boring?
dillon: only when you talk.

me: ok we have 5 min. left. wanna see a magic trick?
dillon: no.
me: oh. is it no fun?
dillon: yeah.
me: ok, do you want to show me a magic trick?
dillon: no.
me: ok. go get your brother. it's his turn.

a sharp contrast...

me: ok so what was this paragraph talking about?
jordan: it's talking about the MAMMOTH and the TUSK! after they break the tusk, they use it as a weapon and go RAAAAAAAHHHHH!
me: ahahhahahahah.

jordan: "sousands" of years...
me: no jordan. it's TH-ousands. say it with a TH. not a S.
jordan: SOUNSANDS!
me: no!
jordan: SOOOOOUSANDS!!!
me: ahahhahahaha.

(leaving).
mother: so how was the teacher today?
jordan: FABULOUS!
mother: aigo!
me: ahahahahhahaha.

i need to beat the bad attitude out of the younger one. the older one's good. =D

Thought of the Day: DERELICTE!
Song of the Day: As One-Day By Day Pop Mix

sunday: crawford's birthday.

so we discussed this whole surprise party thing like a week in advance. screw the going out to lunch, going out to dinner, or hanging out in la thing. we're gonna scare that bastard on her birthday! =D man, all those phone calls and preparation really paid off after seeing her lunge her body into the wall. i still rip my hair out for not taking a picture...i mean, it's not like i have a PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY like dykas! but it was fun.

monday: campus.

i bought my parking permit and books...close to $600. man, i almost forgot what 0 week was like...clubs, flyers, and hot girls. but i saw some ccm people and they didn't even recognize me. no one seems to be able to recognize me these days for some reason. i walk up to them smiling and they give me this stranger stare until i finally shake their hand. perhaps it's just been a long summer...or my long hair.

i saw andrew kim, joyce so, and james lee. seems like they haven't changed a bit. disappointed. but i got to see eddie's dorm and he even swiped me and drew into commons. it's crazy how i took the salad for granted! it's SO good. man, i realized that these new freshmen are still like high school kids. when i observed eddie and allan playing Capcom Vs. SNK 2, i couldn't believe how high school they sounded. eh, it'll pass.

but the night ended with lots of ball. played like crap in an out of shape body. i hate that. i think i got sick from freezing in my sweat. gross right?

tuesday: he quits Elite!

surprisingly, monica was a little sad that i was leaving...like she really wanted me to stay! either that or she was acting it real well. either way, i'm outta there!

so my left cheek started swelling up as if i had just pulled out my wisdom teeth again. i decided to go see dr. kim all the way in garden grove. ugh, i abhor traffic! but i get it all checked out and he tells me that i probably had another infection due to a wound that wasn't fully closed. result: swollen cheek. *sigh* even the thought of typing about this pisses me off. BECAUSE i only have student health insurance, my medication costed $80. too much pain and so little patience = i buy the drugs and drive home angry. but the reason why i'm angry right now is b/c i just found out today that there was a pharmacy at school and i could've just bought my medication there for a whole lot cheaper. you know when you're real mad and you can't stop thinking about it? yeah, lots of sin in your heart. *punch wall*

and yeah, dennis got confirmed. looooong service but i could tell he was happy. congrats to "the rev."

underworld sucks. vampires are weak. accents are inconsistent. victor was an old fart. i think i was discontent b/c the movie had so much potential and they just threw it all away. i'm just glad i didn't pay for that crap.

wednesday: haircut after 2.5 months.

i liked not cutting my hair. no worries about getting haircuts ever. but there was an appearance factor that finally caused me to reconsider. so now i have this high fade that i've never had before. i don't hate it but i don't like it either. content. thanks roomies.

ugh, called in for work b/c andrea is sick? what part of I QUIT do they not understand? and then dykas reminded me that they were korean. hehe. seriously, us korean people are so weird and different from the rest of the world. retarded we are! but i work and go to my first tutoring session. i felt SO bad for being late and the parents made me feel worse too. "we waited a long time." ugh, i can already imagine the critical words behind my back. *sniff*

tutoring a 3rd and 4th grader is VERY different from tutoring a 7th or 8th grader. they pay less attention, don't do what you tell them to do, and they're stupid. haha just kidding. but it takes alot more patience and understanding with these younger kids. jordan and dillon. original names for koreans if you ask me. but my first day wasn't so great with the kids. dillon killed all of my magic tricks and i had a hard time managing the time. it'll take me a while to get used to them. oh yeah, these kids are fobs. another area of inexperience. teaching english....far from being a forte.

man, why is my last week of summer so freakin' busy?

Thought of the Day: Parkwest tows before 12.
Song of the Day: David Crowder-O Praise Him

statement: it's been a long time...it really has.

reason: kevin's been over.

details: kevin is one of my good friends from up north. i've known him since 9th grade after meeting him for the first time at church and seeing him at school for the next 4 years. a fob he is. i feel like we've been through lots of ups and downs together. good friend.

he's been staying at my apt. for the past week now, eating, sleeping, and of course, chilling. during these past number of days, i've gotten to know him a little better. long story short, i realized that we are very similar to one another. a few examples:

1. kevin has a 15 year old brother. i have a 14 year old brother.
2. his father works/lives in korea. my father works/lives in korea.
3. he has a "bad" history. i can relate.
4. he lusts after girls who can eat well. i agree that girls who do not appreciate food do not deserve to live.
5. kevin's drama with girls? i know wassup.

if you know me well, you'll know that fobs and i do not go hand in hand. i can tolerate them to a certain degree...kevin being inches from the borderline. but man, it's the greatest feeling when you take a fob to the movies and he actually comes out enjoying it! kevin is no princess but he's definitely no simple pleaser either. however, Matchstick Men gave him much entertainment and i got much entertainment from seeing his pleasure. it's so funny how fobs try to describe and reenact different scenes from a movie. lol. just nod and smile.

alrite, i am SO ready to quit my job. i've finally come to realize that God did not intend for me to work as a secretary. i drive my boss nuts EVERY SINGLE TIME i go to work. my korean sucks on the phone and this crap is just getting monotonous. God willing, i'll be starting my tutoring act before october. man, i am so money driven.

well, i also accomplished MANY things this week:

1. finished watching every single episode of Friends. i'm ready for 10th season (beginning next week).
2. derek's mom got us chairs for our dining table! shuttup, i know i didn't accomplish that.
3. took care of cable/interent bill (my first bill).
4. signed up for credit card.
5. laundry.
6. contact papered the kitchen drawers.
7. permanently hung up our clock.
8. FINALLY got my financial aid check. hey, being patient can be considered an accomplishment too.
9. FINALLY went to 3rd St. peeing on someone's garbage can, walking on the "Baywatch" beach, and talking about how expensive gfs are, and blasting lee jung hyun. good memories.
10. finally wrote a blog.

Thought of the Day: I HATE my job.
Song of the Day: That Beethoven song.

You are Sakura. You're Intelligent, Confindent, but
sometimes a smartass. You hide your true self
to tough it out.When you Love , You Love hard.


What Naruto Character are you
brought to you by Quizilla

alot has happened in the past week...

1. drove up north with crawford. that's right...SEVEN hours with the behemoth.
2. took her to Nation's, 19th ave., Irving (for the best boba in the world), J-town, and threw her away at berserkley.
3. caught up with pat.
4. drove down solo...a much quieter drive. =D
5. MOVED IN!!!

thursday and friday were stinkin' busy days. lots and LOTS of shopping. it really hits you how much you've taken all the small things for granted...eating and cooking utensils, toilet paper, fridge, trash cans, and lights! but praise the Lord for i absolutley love my apt. supposedly, the Parkwest apts have the biggest floor plans for the rooms so i'm content with that. we have so much storage space and our living room is spacious as well. you wanna have crowds of people over? BRING IT ON!

i also realized that there are a grip of ccm people living all around parkwest. man, i see these people like everyday. i guess it's cool though. better than being completely alone like esther's San Leon. the poor thing.

to be honest, i didn't think much of my 3rd roommate, derek, before we moved in. i thought there'd be alotta conflict living with him after planning things through aim. but after these past few days, i realized that he's not such a bad guy. buuuuut, i did learn that he's possibly one of the worst drivers in the world. haha. the guy drives just like my mom! (derek, if you're reading this...don't barge into my room and start complaining. just let me know that you read my blog and i'll never ever write about you again. thanks roomie).

random:

(last night).
me: they all went to go eat pho.
joe: PHO-get them!
me: ahahahhahahah.

it's good seeing joey again.

when i was up north, i finally got to see some of my parents' childhood pictures for the first time! it's been confirmed...i look just like my mom. that would explain the rare smiles and the whole chubby phase i went through. man, i really can't say that my mom was all that pretty either growing up. to be honest, i think she looks the best right now in her late forties. haha. sad no? yeah, even jisun's friends saw a picture of my parents and they were all saying that i resemble my mom! i swear that's a first. but what do you care right?

Thought of the Day: "God bless Korea!"
Song of the Day: Rich Mullins-Step By Step

whup! almost forgot to include korean movies:

1. My Sassy Girl
2. Attack The Gas Station
3. Chingoo

i've watched them so many times i don't even need the subtitles anymore (we're talking 20+ times).

last night, chris took me out to dinner to eat with his parents in Garden Grove. DDUK BO SAAAAAAAAAAAM!!! man, chris' family is great, NOT just b/c they paid for a bujee dinner but they're just a really pleasant and warm family. it makes so much sense why chris is the way he is today. well last night, a few of his little cousins were there too. man, his cousin, diana, was stinkin' adorable. gosh, another reminder of how much i want a younger sister...

chris: diana, how old are you?
diana: 6! (big smile).
me: lol.
chris: when did you turn 6?
diana: on my birthday!
me: lol.
chris: oh when is your birthday? is it on december 25th?
diana: no! that's Jesus' birhtday! (big smile).

fiiiiiiig.

sometimes i wonder how i would've turned out if i had a younger sister. i wonder how simon would've turned out. i wonder what it'd be like if we had another younger brother. i wonder. perhaps this is why i want both a son and a daughter when i'm older. the son being the older one and the daughter at least 3 years apart. i guess it's true that the greater the age difference, the more likely that they're going to get along. yeah, 3 years should be fine...but if that doesn't work, CHILDREN FOR SALE! =D

borrowing crawford's friend's idea:

MY MUST SEE MOVIES:
* = if you refuse to watch this movie, i will hurt you.

1. Back To The Future Trilogy
2. Rocky IV
3. American History X
4. Austin Powers Trilogy
5. Braveheart
6. Dumb & Dumber*
7. Forrest Gump*
8. Good Will Hunting
9. Jerry Maguire
10. Moulin Rouge
11. Office Space*
12. Pulp Fiction*
13. Rounders
14. Shrek
15. Swingers*
16. The Matrix
17. The Original Kings of Comedy
18. The Rock
19. The Shawshank Redemption
20. The Usual Suspects

brilliant movies!

funny phrases of the weekend:

eugene: redeem = to deem again.

phoebe: "what the mother of crap?"

zeus: "hollify."

lol.

Thought of the Day: Dehydrated.
Song of the Day: CB Mass-Movement

what a tough day at work today...emotionally that is. i only got 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night b/c of last night's health hazardous meal at molca salsa (drool). oh the pleasure of food coma slumbler. haha. but today was sign-up day for all the kids for the fall season. crowds of parents trying to give you their checks and student after student asking what room they belong in. soooooo many DT's to give out and way too many phone calls for us to handle. it's the worst when my boss is stressed or tired cause she kinda takes her emotions out on you. her expectations go like WAY UP HERE and her tolerance level is just as bad. so unfortunately, we had this one lady who was complaining that her son wasn't supposed to take the SAT DT cause he was only in 9th grade, but the little crap told me he was a sophomore and even responded with, "yes. PSAT." after she calls, the dad calls. same complaint. i get yelled at. the lady actually comes back with another lady and they start complaining about how our academy is so retarded. freakin' korean people dude.

and finally, i had to pay for lunch today. that's $30 for three people. man, i should've just been patient and eaten at home. how discouraging. i calculated how money i would make for coming down early to work a few days. profit = $10. dude, after today that's just disheartening.

let's write a little more happy...

so i've continued reading The Purpose Driven Life and i'm actually starting to enjoy it a little more. i can't say i totally agree with everything, but i'm picking out some good things from the book. i guess that's just what you have to do with any book that you read. no matter what it is, you just gotta be wise and take good things out of it. along with this book, i'm almost done reading the Bible! if i really push myself, i can even finish it before school starts! it's kinda sad that i'm finally going to finish reading the Bible for the first time in my second year of college. 19 1/2 years to read a book. (shaking head). BUT better now than never right?

and this just in....

aaron can hook us up with a rice cooker and a tv.
basic cable is only $6 more every month along with our internet.
great!
i'm all encouraged and comforted now.
i'm a simple man with simple pleasures.
=D

the sibling knows me well...

AsianXboi56 (4:58:00 PM): i KNOW why your coming on monday
AsianXboi56 (4:58:02 PM): you wanna go to cpc
AsianXboi56 (4:58:03 PM): haha
Pretzelboi96 (4:58:36 PM): bingo

Thought of the Day: To camp or not to camp.
Song of the Day: Beach Boys-California Girls

i'm HOME!

(phone rings).
me: hello?
andrea: hello phil? can you come in this thursday and saturday?
me: oh what time? (YES!).
andrea: open to close.
me: um, i'm out right now...can i call you back? (YES!).
andrea: ok, call me back.
me: alrite bye. (YES!).

and that's how i came down early.

i've already shared the good news with eddie and crawford but I WAS ABLE TO BRING MY BED DOWN FROM HOME! good news for phil and bad news for simon. that child seriously adores my futon cause of my awesome and perfect curves that i've shaped into my cushion for 10 years. lol. it is definitely up there on the top 5 most wanted bed list. i dare you to lie down on my bed. I DARE YOU!

but yeah, God is so gracious to me. i can't really explain what was going on with my life but iiiiiii alone know that everything worked out and that He is sovereign. the power of prayer. amazing.

Thought of the Day: I want to hurry up and move in!
Song of the Day: Nas-I Know I Can

Vantilian522 (9:33:27 PM): we went to the montery aquariusm
Pretzelboi96 (9:33:31 PM): cool
Vantilian522 (9:33:51 PM): they charged us like $20 for the enterance fee!~
Pretzelboi96 (9:33:55 PM): lol
Vantilian522 (9:34:08 PM): i was like...they better cook us some of that fish!
Pretzelboi96 (9:34:14 PM): ahahahahaha

changalicious.

Thought of the Day: Andy is growing up so quickly.
Song of the Day: Beethoven-Moonlight Sonata

200 + 15 = 215.

God is full of grace and mercy. even if He were to take away, i should still be praising Him just as much...if not any more.


basketball. fun stuff.

dentist 3 times this week. must go again twice next week. inconvenient.

note: phil only got 3 hours of sleep last night.

he's going to rest now so he can be ready for tomorrow's Sabbath day. nite.

Thought of the Day: God can answer prayers quickly too.
Song of the Day: Lee Jung Hyun-Summer Dance

since i've been indescribably bored, i did my random xanga reading and came upon this:

Speaking of weight, yesterday, I saw a program about obesity in America on the Discovery Channel. As someone who was once overweight, and who is still is fighting the battle of the bulge, I watched the program with unwavering interest.

The program taught me how to determine whether I am normal, overweight, or obese by using the BMI (Body Mass Index) test. Come on guys! Let�s find out if you are in the healthy zone! (Note: You will need a calculator).

First, do the equation�

Weight/(Height^2 [in inches]) * 703

Example: Let�s say you weigh 250 lbs, and are 6�2� tall. Your equation would be�

250/(74^2) * 703 = 32.094595

Then use these conversions�

20-25 = NORMAL

25-30 = OVERWEIGHT

30+ = OBESE

Therefore, if your BMI is like the example of 32.094595 you are obese.

This test doesn't take into account muscle mass, so I don't know how it can be totally accurate. But hey, the Discovery Channel wouldn't lie to me...would it?

the only thing i'm curious about is the number, 703. what's so significant about that?

Thought of the Day: Stitches out. Retainer in.
Song of the Day: Nelly-Make Ya Tailfeather

i started reading the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren today. it's like the most popular christian book these days and even my mom read the korean version of it. i've heard some good things about it so i decided to give it a chance. 40 chapters for 40 days. i don't like how the author guarantees so much blessing from reading the book. it almost seems like he's taking all the glory for writing such a successful piece. whatever, we'll see after 40 days. and even if it turns out to be great, all glory goes to God alrite?

man, i was so bored today. i'm getting tired of staying home and doing nothing. i try to find things to do but nothing seems to satisfy me. i just sit in my room on the floor and brainstorm. but that's how i was reminded of my apartment and how we need to call those utility places ahead of time. long story short, i ended up making all the phone calls so it looks like i'll be in charge of all the finances of our apt. i'm jumping with joy. *pout*

after those phone calls, i decided to call work and see when i should come in for next week. unfortunately, monica doesn't need me to come in until school starts again since the summer program ended and there isn't much work to do. i kind of regret going to NY last week. i could've made a good $600-$700 and even have the $300 that my dad had sent me. that's close to a whole G! but now is not the time to whine and regret. looks like i'll be up north another two weeks until i move into my apt. i actually wanna go back down to irvine cause it's alot more fun with people that i know. however, i'd have to pay for sept. rent and i know i'd just spend more money down there. home is BORING but it's also a penny-pincher. today just sucked. what a crappy day.

Thought of the Day: I can't play Moonlight Sonata anymore.
Song of the Day: Angelina-I Will Always Be There For You

we were chilling at dennis' place and everyone was getting ready for retreat. for some reason, i wasn't packing up or anything so i just chilled in one of the rooms by myself. then i heard dennis call everyone onto the bus but i told him that i wasn't ready.

me: do you think you can just wait a few minutes?
dennis: no sorry. we gotta go right now. you should have been ready.
me: oh! what if i drove up later? do you think you can give me directions?
dennis: why don't you come up with eugene? i think he's coming up later tonight.
me: ok.
(bus drives away with everyone having fun conversations and playing games).

what a sad dream.

everytime i tell people that i took out my wisdom teeth, they always ask me if i look like a chipmunk. i didn't think my face was too bad but it got alot worse today. i don't think "chipmunk" does justice to my cheeks. POPEYE does a better job of depicting the left side of my face. when you look around my face, it's like normal, normal, normal, RETARDED! but i'm feeling alot better than before. to be honest, i don't even need to take vicodin cause i barely feel any pain. but hey, you gotta get your money's worth right? it still helps a little so i still take it every 6 hours. but for some reason, i don't experience that "really good feeling" from the drug. it's just slight pain relief and a nauseous and drowsy feeling on rare occasions. eh!

as i was eating my chicken porridge thing, i was reminded of sunday's sermon from pastor eugene. i remember how he said that a mature christian is a christian who depends on Christ. the more dependent, the more mature! i thought that was an awesome way of explaining christian maturity. you know, we always talk about so-and-so and how they're such a good christian. "oh this person knows SO much about the Bible!" "did you know that she's never said a cuss word in her life?" blah blah blah. we always hear these dumb things about different people and label them as "good"/mature christians. but like pastor eugene was saying, maturity is shown through dependence on Christ. CAN I GET AN AMEN?! the more you realize that you're a sinner and that HE is holy, that's when you're actually maturing aite?

these past few days have been so relaxing for me. i wake up around 10 and wait for simon to come home. then we just play. playing = chess, card tricks, and just lying on our beds talking about our stupid past. it's really nice. the weather is great up here too. it's like irvine but 10-20 degrees cooler. mama's cooking is always a plus and i don't have to worry about work. for once, i like being up north.

Thought of the Day: I should have taken more pictures in Manhattan and not Cornell.
Song of the Day: Hyori-10 Minutes

NY was definitely a memorable trip. remember, i didn't necessarily state that it was a good trip. it was a MEMORABLE trip aka a "successful trip."

day 1:

1. lots of stress before getting onto plane. long story short...i got onto the plane.
2. manhattan is dope. skyscrapers, taxis, lots of people. you know the drill.
3. arrived in cornell at 1:30am. slept on a hardwood floor with my sweater as my blanket.

day 2:

1. campus is big. no me gusta.
2. ate my first Po'boy.
3. watched Seabiscuit.
4. NY people speak their mind and have funny accents.

john: yeah, you don't want to go to 3rd street. no hookers.
(girlfriend gives him a REALLY REALLY bad stare).
me: ahahahhahahaahah.

day 3:

1. attempted to fix the laptop.
2. cornell pho. *barf*
3. went to bed at 8:30pm. 2 hours later, i have insomnia and i finish chang's book.

day 4:

1. back to manhattan. another 5 hour bus ride.
2. Madison Square Garden tour. $20 down the drain.
3. and the moment we've all been waiting for...(drum roll). NEW YORK PIZZA!!! it really is as good as they say.
4. La Quinta Inn in Koreatown. good job justin.
5. Gam Mi Ok. quality korean food. good job again.
6. Times Square. dope. i swear you gotta see it for yourself.
7. hop out of train. hop back into train. i don't make the hop back in. (waving to justin).
8. after a good number of phone calls, we find each other and go to Empire State Building. 86 floors. first and last time i'm doing that again.
9. 3 hours of tv.

day 5:

1. (drum roll #2). NEW YORK PASTRAMI SANDWICH!!! he bites. he smiles. they cheer!
2. Central Park. two thumbs down.
3. Rockafellar Center and 5th Ave. bujee stores. eh...better than Central Park though.
4. back to Port Authority and take my bus to JFK.
5. 5 hours of tv on the plane. cooking channels are sooo cool. they really gotta start making babyback ribs on the plane.

man, we learned so much about each other on this trip.
and we're back!

i took out my wisdom teeth today. i only took out 3 b/c the 4th bastard decided to grow into the bone and that's definitely a no-go. lots of novacane, "pressure", drilling, hammering, and one last good cuss word. the novacane is wearing off right now and my mouth is hurting more and more. i actually bought my drugs but my mom said not to take any b/c she's going to return it and have her insurance pay for it. F!!! 2 1/2 more hours to go.

Thought of the Day: "Can you numb me again?"
Song of the Day: FF Main Theme Christmas Remix

i wrote two entries. both of them got erased. let's just get to the point with this one.

NY is different. NY is fun.

Thought of the Day: Justin does not share nailclippers.
Song of the Day: Hyori-10 Minutes

i remember a while back, chang would tell me about how so many people in yg reminded him of people from back home. his theory was that there is always another double of everyone somewhere out there in the world. so i've been in so. cal for almost a full year now and i can definitely testify to chang's theory:


arthur = stupid version of frank
jinwoo = albert
crawford = smarter and ugly version of tiffanie
dykas = much quieter version of andrew kim (from up north)
elisa = susannie kim
aaron = sam kwon + gary
chester esther = irene chang from mills
april = hannah lee
jane park = olivia yun
deborah = simon kwon (lol)
5th yr. james from ccm = frank too!
jamie = susan choo
eddie park = allan kim
jonathan singer (my gay writing teacher) = funny version of PJ (lol. no joke)
connie = girl version of sam kwon
janet = old version of this little girl i used to tutor (can't remember her name)

and of course, there was that one chang look-alike. soooooo similar! i was about to go up to him and start talking to him. haha. if you're on this list, you probably think i'm crazy or i just made up a dumb list b/c i have nothing better to write about. first statement false, second statement true. =D but really, you guys don't see what i see so shuttup aite? i mean, i seriously meet lots of people and they say that i remind them of someone they know...physically AND personality! i'm so unoriginal.

last night, i got attacked by some angry spider while i was sleeping. let's see now...fiiiiig. 16 bites! ok i take that back; i was not attacked...i was RAPED by that stupid spider! who knows what i was doing to aggravate the 8 legged bastard. all i remember was scratching my foot over and over and OVER again! then when i woke up, i found a mark on my hand. then my arm. another on my arm. more on my legs! *gasp* is this food poisoning?! (running to the bathroom). *sigh* none on the face. but dude, i was so convinced that i had gotten a rash from food poisoning. my mind started to think of some crazy thoughts:

1. last night's pork probably wasn't cooked well.
2. i might have gotten the rash from arthur. i saw that bastard sleeping with my blanket once and i constantly see that guy scratching himself. hmmmmm...
3. maybe it was a spider. NAH!

i hate spiders.

work is SO routine now. i come in, have my cup of coffee, grade tests, make copies for the next day's lessons, and proctor for 5 1/2 hours. i keep telling myself that this job is the slowest and boringest crap in the world. but i look on the brighter side and remind myself that i'm getting paid to read my nice little christian book every hour. it's really good cause i'm finally catching up on the reading i was supposed to do months ago. like i mentioned before, i finished Easy Chairs, Hard Words by Douglas Wilson. good book. now, i'm reading Attributes of God by Arthur Pink. the material is alot more dense compared to the first book but it's really really good stuff. there's a quote i wanna share with you reader....but i forgot my backpack at work. i'll try to remember to share tomorrow but yeah, don't get too excited now. haha.

Thought of the Day: I should have made a copy.
Song of the Day: Jung Chul-Now And Forever

today...

bad news: back to work.

good news: a chill day at work.

bad news: NY is a no-go.

good news: almost finished reading one of chang's books!

great news: i got an A- in 39C!

good news: finally picked up my retreat pictures and they make me happy.

good news: enjoyed dinner so much. i always say this but i honestly think that out of everyone, i appreciate our meals the most.

bads news: *sigh* NY is a no-go.

one of the things i enjoy about my work is that i get to hear some of the funniest things from the students...

(bryan's phone goes off during SAT testing).

bryan: i have to answer it. it's about my job interview.
me: go talk outside.
(walks out).
dean: who the hell would hire him?
class: ahahahahhahahaha.


(students get their SAT scores back).
kevin: ooooOOOOOOOHHHHHHH! i broke 1000!


and what made my day today...

sherman: hey aaron, do you think i can take the test another day?
teacher: you can't NOT take it!
sherman: man, if i fail this one i get kicked out. how about if you "accidently" trip and write down a perfect score for me?
teacher: you haven't even taken the test yet! study first and see how you do. go with Method A first. then go with Method B.
sherman: but asking you for the perfect score was Method A.

ahahahahahahahah.

Thought of the Day: Easy Chairs Hard Words
Song of the Day: Jung Il Young-Promise