July 30, 2003

today was possibly the worst day of work in my life!

1. i was super tired this morning...i mean SUPER tired! i seriously could have fallen asleep on the floor if you gave me 5 min. man, just thinking about how tired i was this morning is actually making me tired right now! but anyways, you get the point.

2. i was checking my account balance online and i found out that i was negative $9. F!!! i always did wonder why my balance was so high cause apparently, i had totally forgotten that i had written a $36.66 check for my oil change and car wash. man, that's the bad thing about checks...you totally forget about your balance...well, at least i do.

3. i had to make a GRIP of copies. i probably use our copy machine for at least 2 hours everyday. it's really depressing and stressful. there's sooooo many different lesson plans you have to copy and trust me, the directions are insanely complicated. example: you have to open up Week 5, look at the list, find the book, copy, look for the lesson (i don't understand why the page #'s are wrong), and you copy. you make copies for the upcoming classes. you make extra copies for the binder itself. and after you've taken care of all that, you have to make the INSTRUCTOR'S BASTARD EDITION! and yes, EVERY part has an instructor's edition! so b/c i had forgotten such vital things today, i had teachers complaining to me. i had my boss complain to me. i had MYSELF complaining to me! about halfway through the day, i just asked my boss to fire me. (laughter). ugh.

4. and just to make God laugh even harder at me, i was working through a gassy GASSY stomach. standing there next to the copy machine, squeezing my butt real hard, and positioning my legs in an awkward stance, i was seriously in no mood to make tomorrow's copies for the English classes. man, i can only imagine how uncomfortable my face expression was. lol. i was honestly having thoughts of just letting it all out and accept the laughter and ridicule from andrea and the students. goodness, how did i get through today?

obviously, only by God's grace alone. haha. God is seriously a genius, planning out my difficult day, cracking up at my discomforts, and still receving all the glory for it! lol. praise God.

man, i have to fix my car.

made my day...

arthur: yeah, you'd save so much money if you just had a garden!
billy: do you see anybody our age with a garden?
arthur: no seriously, i was thinking of starting one you know?
billy: phil, you're no longer the homo of the apt.
me: ahahahahhahahahah.

take that you itchy bastard!

Thought of the Day: I hate copy machines.
Song of the Day: Take-Baby Baby
The Starting Line-A Goodnight's Sleep

Sleep a better slumber
was in your arms
spent tangled up in you
a sudden morning
crashed in the room
with an uninvited sudden change in you

what can i say
wheres that girl from last night
whos stuck outside
and looks just like you too

you can sleep in your own bed tonight
sleep away as summer came screaming out my name
you can sleep in your own bed tonight
i hope for your sake that you dont wake up as broken as i am

for the lack of better
words to say
all i said was goodnight
once again
in self defense i wont sleep a wink
to prevent dreaming of you

you can sleep in your own bed tonight
sleep away as summer came screaming out my name
you can sleep in your own bed tonight
i hope for your sake that you dont wake up as broken as i am

sleep in your own bed
tonight
i that some day you will wake up as lonely as i am

you can sleep in your own bed tonight
sleep away as summer came screaming out my name
you can sleep in your own bed tonight
i hope for your sake that you dont wake up as broken as i am
sleep in your own bed tonight
i thought some day you will wake up as lonely as i am
cause it works both ways
cause it works both ways
cause it works both ways
sleep in your own bed

yeah, i know no one reads the lyrics but that's ok. it's a song that fits the mood too well these days. isn't it the best when a song can totally say everything you're going through? you feel so comforted cause you feel like there's empathy and support. this secular music...gosh. haha.

i cooked spaghetti #2 today. it was alot easier this time and i actually made JUST the right amount for me, arthur, and billy! they actually didn't make any suggestions this time so that means it tasted alrite. woohoo! dude, i already know i'm going to be the mom of my apt. next year. i'll be the guy always buying the groceries, running the errands, coming home after work to cook dinner, doing the dishes, and cleaning up my room. it's all too clear to me already. seriously, sometimes i feel like i'm taking care of the guys in this apt....oh how i must emphasize the word SOMETIMES! some people just refuse to take out the garbage and doing the dishes is out of the question. yeah, these bastards never cook either unless someone special (a girl) comes over. but it's all good cause when they DO cook, man it is a quite a piece of work...especially when my homosexual roommate, billy, cooks for us. i seriously think that guy should just quit school and become a cook and fish for fun. that's practically his life...oh yeah, and uh his minesweeper. yeap, he's got loser written all over him.

i'm working alot this week. 45+ hours. i love it but i hate it. i love the fact i'm gonna get paid up the butt but i hate the fact that my butt doesn't get enough sleep every night. i had to learn how to make coffee at work just to get through the day too and i hate drinking coffee. it just feels unhealthy too...brown sugar water is what it is. but i don't get jittery anymore so that's good. but things with andrea aren't so bad either. i think we're pretty much used to each other. and today, i finally met my last coworker, candice. the way eugene described her, i thought she'd be this huge dumb elephant but she seemed like a pretty productive person. the scary thing is that she reminds me of crawford...physically that is. *shudder* *barf* you know the drill. yeah, i'm kinda glad i don't have to work with candice. i'm cool with just working with irene, the nice and quiet one who prefers korean over english phone calls. we work well together. =D

ok, i'm lazy. with as few sentences as possible...

The Hat sucks. chillin' with jess was cool.

done with summer school.

i will conclude.

Thought of the Day: She's a "no-go."
Song of the Day: U2-With Or Without You

July 28, 2003

dude, i've just been gone for so long. been working, papering, and playing with my brother this past week.

there's so much i wanna write about but i don't have the strength and patience to write all of my thoughts on my past happenings...and i'm sure you don't have the patience or care to read it all either.

but like i said, my brother came down FINALLY to stay with me in irvine. dave and sol brought him down and i showed them around irvine. the whole time, i was just hearing "dude, this is so nice!" the whole time. haha. yeah, i'm a spoiled crap who takes this bomb city for granted. but i think compared to the average irvine resident, i really appreciate the weather and clean streets of this city.

i was really happy that my roommates were so nice to my brother too. he fit in quite well with all the smash we enforced and all the food he ate with us. they were really good to him so i was quite grateful for such nice roommates. i think if i left him with dykas, my brother would've had this bad image of college students. haha. but it's such a shame that he had to leave so early. i didn't get to do much with him cause i was so busy with work and church. sorry simon. but i AM glad that i got a chance to show him around campus. a whole buncha "woah, what's that?! what the!" haha. my brother is definitely coming to so. cal for college.

whizzing by...

i had my last class for summer school on friday. to be honest, i really liked my teacher! he may have blasphemed God and acted like a homo but dang was he a nice and funny teacher. lots of care and time put into all the papers he read and graded. he had some crazy open office hours and was down to help us with anything we needed...

teacher: you guys are by far the best class i've ever taught and i've taught for 7 years. thank you.
class: (applause)....(students throw chalk at teacher). ahhahahahahahahahha.

man, there were so many funny things that were said in class but i can't seem to remember them. fudge! they were really funny...i promise!

but like i told my welcoming committee, i am VERY pleased with the efforts i've been noticing. lots of people were telling me on sunday how i'm doing such a great job with the committee. but really, i'm not doing crap. all i do is attendance and email the group every week. other than that, i'm doing exactly what the rest of the guys are doing. so when people are saying good things to me, that means my committee is doing an excellent job! they are the ones who are truly worthy of receiving the compliments...not me. so welcoming committee, my gratitude cannot be expressed with words but God knows my appreciation for you guys. and of course, none of our efforts and progress come from us but our God alone. all glory to God!

well, i'm going to NY to go see justin in 3 weeks. i finally get to see that pagan bastard after 7 months. it does and doesn't seem that long since i last saw him. i've never been to east coast in my life. i think it'll be a great experience, seeing NY and even that retarded school, cornell. haha. but of course, that means i have to work a gang of hours for the next few weeks. fortunately, monica wants me to work almost everday...most of the days working from open to close...8:30am-7pm. jeah!

man, i took a 5 hour nap today.

crazy trailer



Thought of the Day: You think you know but you have no idea.
Song of the Day: Ace Of Bace-The Sign

July 21, 2003

i cooked spaghetti for the first time today. man, i thought it'd just be boiling noodles, cut up some onions, and throw them into the spaghetti sauce. uh nope!

first mistake: boiling onions and garlic in alot of vegetable oil in a small pot.
lesson learned: just cook everything in a big pan. THEN pour the spaghetti sauce over it.

second mistake: not checking the cupboards for helpful supplies.
lesson learned: sometimes, you won't even have to buy spaghetti noodles cause you'll already have a FREAKIN' box at home.

i learned something even greater than these two mistakes today. i was thinking about how our mothers have always been cooking for us ever since we were little. alotta times, we complained about the food, didn't finish it, or just went out to go eat with our friends. after today, i realized WHY our mothers always encourage us to eat at home. it's not JUST to save money or to eat healthy. alot of it is b/c they put much time and effort into the preparation of our meals. i'm glad i'm learning from my cooking failures. i'm becoming more creative with the things i choose to make and i have a greater appreciation for mama's cooking. i'm also reminded by what i told tina with her serving in the welcoming committee: "you can only get better dude."

i went to the Getty with jisun yesterday. the Getty is this big art museum in la and i've always wanted to go there cause i've heard alot of great things about it. you know, most people wouldn't expect me to really appreciate different arts like plays, music, or in yesterday's case, paintings! but i think i appreciate these kinds of things much more than the average person. haha. sometimes you just wonder, how the fudge did that bastard paint that thing?! it's not with pencil or pen either. it's straight up with just paint and a paintbrush! haha. but i also realized that people can interpret different things from the same piece of art...

jisun: what's your favorite one?
me: this one with the snow and the dog.
jisun: that's MY favorite one too! why do you like it?
me: well when you look at this picture, you feel like you're part of the picture. like you can almost imagine a story that went along with it while you're there you know? something like that.
jisun: oh. well, i looked at it in more technical terms. like it must have been difficult to take this picture in that kind of weather. but in this picture, there's no snow flakes on the camera and it's really clear. it's really hard to do that.
me: oh.

but the Getty wasn't what i expected. i thought it'd be a place with white walls, classical music, and a whole buncha glass-framed paintings. but there was no music with dim-lighted rooms and lots of paintings that were unprotected. seriously though, you need to appreciate art and have alotta patience and strength to go to an art museum. otherwise, you're in for a bore.

billy: dude, i love movies with lots of action. lots of gun fighting and people blowing up. didn't you grow up watching Chuck Norris movies?
me: i don't really like Chuck Norris.
billy: omg dude. i swear you're gay!
me: ahhahahahaha.

Thought of the Day: I'm going to NY!
Song of the Day: No Use For A Name-Friends Of The Enemy

July 17, 2003

drug: carne asada burrito
symtoms: drowsiness, euphoria, difficulty breathing, relaxed state of mind.
treatment: sleep.
warning: lack of appropriate treatment can result in rolling eyes, lack of strength, collapsing, and depression.

my writing class was sooooo boring today! we were going over different sentences from different passages and articles. the majority of the period was spent on "improving" each sentence to help us with our remaining paper. *snore* and just to make things a lil more interesting, God decided to hit me with the meanest food coma that i could not fight off.

eyes open.
eyes close.
eyes open.
eyes close.
eyes close.
eyes open a little.
eyes close.
eyes stay closed.
body JERKS!
head shakes.
eyes stay open.

goodness, i bet at least five people from class blogged about the stupid idiot in class who fell asleep and woke up abruptly, awkwardly trying to play it off. but the good news is, i only have two more assignments left and four more classes to go. after summer school, i think i'm going to dedicate the rest of my summer to just work and alotta reading. it'd be great if i could finish all the books that chang bought/let me borrow and maybe even some of the books that others have recommended to me. always, much easier said than done.

i've been playing alotta ball and trying to somewhat keep my body in shape these days. but dude, every time i work out i realize that it's so hard to exercise with a Soli Deo Gloria attitude. i mean, we all go to workout to improve our bodies or keep it from losing its attractive physique. how often do we tell ourselves that our bodies are meant to glorify God? don't we just go there and lift those weights with intentions of pleasing man? how sinful we are even in trying to keep our bodies "healthy." Romans 12:1-Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. AMEN TO THAT! even in playing ball or lifting weights, may this be our prayer.

but speaking of working out, my weight is actually down to 148 pounds! i haven't weighed below 150 since sophomore year in high school! i don't know exactly what it is. i mean, i know i'm eating pretty unhealthy almost everyday too with all the free lunches from work and all. yeah, i don't get it.

Thought of the Day: It's hot and I love it. I'm hot and you love it.
Song of the Day: Lee Jung Hyun-Summer Dance Trance Mix

July 16, 2003





I'm Joey Tribbiani from Friends!

Take the Friends Quiz here.

created by stomps.






Thought of the Day: Godliness is crucial.
Song of the Day: Remy Zero-Shattered

July 14, 2003

i went fishing for the first time yesterday. billy's been going alot these days so he asked me if i wanted to come with him since he could get me on for free. seriously, my roommate gets hooked up everywhere. he got alotta stuff in his car for dirt cheap. he got hooked up with his oakley's. he got us on the fishing boat for free last night. the connections this guy has. it's great!

yesterday's fishing trip was a very interesting experience for me. i didn't know what to expect at all. what kinda boat was i going to be in? what kinda people were going to be there? was i going to catch any fish? how do you catch a fish? how long were we going to be there? at first, i was regretting that i chose to go cause i was FREAKIN' tired and i had forgotten my sweater. but really, i think it was all worth it.

we left at 6 and got back to the dock at 12. man, you have to go faaaaaaaar out into the sea to catch some fish. fortunately, i didn't get seasick at all and i had an awesome burger on the boat. there were about 15 people on the boat so it wasn't so bad. but anyways, as soon as we begin fishing...

*phone rings*
me: hello?
friend: hello phil? hey, how do you get to Guppy's?
me: oh, it's on...(my fishing line tugs).
everyone: WHAT'RE YOU DOING? PULL IT UP!
me: hey, it's on South and Pioneer.
friend: what?
everyone: HANG UP THE PHONE AND BRING YOUR FISH IN!
me: PIONEER AND SOUTH! BYE!

so i ended up catching a sandbass which is this fish that's about a foot long and weighs about 5 pounds. pretty tasty stuff. but man, that was some embarrassing stuff. you are never supposed to talk on your phone when you're fishing. haha. this old man was like, "hey, can i take a message?" haha. but man, fishing is so much fun! i thought fishing was like an old white man's hobby that required no skill or energy. (clearing throat). uh NO! fishing actually involves MUCH skill and energy. i was catching a whole gang of baracudas which go from 2 to 3 feet! they weigh 5-10 pounds, which sounds like a little but try bringing that thing up on a piece of line while it's flapping all over the water and trying to bite the hook off. seriously, if you're not conditioned like the other fishermen, you'll have sore arms the next day...like me.

today at work, my left arm was shaking if i kept at it at a certain angle. it still hurts when i try to lift stuff with it. those bastard fish! haha. but i was pretty happy with myself cause i caught like 6 or 7 fish. not bad for a newb no? haha just kidding. that isn't THAT great compared to those other guys. it was really easy catching fish cause right now is a good time to catch sandbass and baracudas...well at least where we went. you just drop your line and wait for your line to jerk from the fishbite. then you YANK that sucker and wheel her in. there was an interesting group of people last night. one young teenager who couldn't have been older than simon, a black lady, a white lady, an old man, and a whole buncha middle aged white guys. at least it wasn't just old white guys who'd bore you with their fishing stories.

but dude, you get so dirty on those boats. pieces of fish scale in your hair and on your arms, fish blood all over your boots, and your pants get pretty wet too. ok i just realized no one would be interested in hearing about my fishing experience. haha. boring ish no? let's talk about today's work yeah? so moving on...

i had a pretty bad day at work today. lots of mistakes, dumb questions, and a really bad conversation on the phone. i really don't enjoy working with my co-worker, andrea. she isn't exactly mean, but she's not the most encouraging or considerate person either. like she expects me to know everything about everything. every time i ask her a question, i always feel so discouraged and stupid cause she reacts in a way that's not really mean but i know she thinks i'm slow and stupid...which might be true but at least the others are nicer about it. oh yeah, and she acts all nice to everyone else. she's really good at korean so she has no trouble speaking to our vice president and carries comfortable conversations with the parents. argh, if they only knew!

so yeah, i had this really bad phone call today...

me: hello elite.
mother: (in korean). hi how do you get to Elite?
me: (in korean). it's on jamboree and dupont. just take a right on dupont and enter the plaza. take another right and we're on the left side.
mother: oh, is barranca before or after dupont?
me: (i get lazy with my korean so i just assume she's coming from north). it's before.
mother: ok thank you.

(calls back).
me: hello elite.
mother: (in angry english). hi can you tell me how to get to elite?
me: (in scared english). where are you coming from?
mother: irvine valley college!
me: oh, you're really far from us right now. you need to get onto jamboree.
mother: may i speak to someone who can speak korean?
me: um, i can speak korean.
mother: no, i need someone i can understand.
me: oh....can you hold on?

so bastard andrea takes the call and does a perfect job of telling the mom how to get here. and when she sees me, the mom only speaks to me in her broken english cause i appear to be some kinda stupid idiot who can't comprehend simple korean words from her. *sigh* i hate the fact that my korean sucks. it's so humbling, especially with situations like today. "no, i need someone i can understand." *tears flowing* oh yeah? well i hate you!

but at least i played alrite in ball today. i love it when i play well cause i never play well. you know, you're just having one of those days. haha. dang, i sweat a grip.

i'm in an alternative phase.

Thought of the Day: The Starting Line rocks.
Song of the Day: Blink 182-Man Overboard

July 10, 2003

i'm really bored ok? shuttup crawford...

firsts and lasts

first car: '94 Mazda Protege. i most likely bought my car for less than your computer.
first date: Durant Square...first time i ever ate pho. hated it.
first job: Wetzel's Pretzels. 14 years old.
first screenname: pretzelboi96
first self purchased album: Greenday: Dookie
first funeral: grandma's. 11 yrs. old.
first pet: goldfish that i won at a carnival when i was 10. died after 2 days. never had a pet ever since.
first piercing/tattoo: i'm anti-piercing/tattoo.
first enemy: irrelevant.
first big trip: first roadtrip to la during senior year spring break.
first play/musical/performance: 4 Hands 2 Pianos. dope performance.
first sport you played: basketball. 4th grade.
first musician you remember hearing in your house: Beethoven?
last good cry: after taking my psych. midterm winter qtr.
last library book checked out: what's a library?
last movie seen: Lovers Concerto. *sigh* i teared up.
last book read: Nickel and Dimed. required for Writing 39c.
last cuss word uttered: probably the F word. freakin' rap music.
last beverage drank: water.
last food consumed: Dole's fruit popsicle.
last crush: same chick cj's hitting on...kinda.
last phone call: called esther but talked to henry.
last tv show watched: Friends fo sho!
last time showered: today after ball.
last shoes worn: white nikes.
last cd played: Alternative Mix in my car.
last item bought: 2 onions.
last downloaded: 2pac-Still Ballin'
last annoyance: getting killed in Smash.
last disappointment: currently disappointed with my spiritual walk.
last soda drank: Coke for today's lunch.
last thing written: taking notes on an article in class today.
last key used: car key.
last word spoken: "no, i'm just kidding."
last sleep: slept at 3 last night and woke up at 7:30 this morning.
last IM: f i v e 7 x (1:00:37 AM): yummy
last weird encounter: seeing dave at Pink's.
last ice cream eaten: coffee flavored mochi! *drool*
last time amused: listening to joe challenge henry to an online chat freestyle.
last time wanting to die: winter qtr.
last time hugged: joey hugged me when i saw him today.
last time scolded: last time i was up north when i came home 7:30 in the morning and had to take brother to dentist.
last chair sat in: my nice black chair from Ikea.
last shirt worn: Aeropostale shirt that i wear to sleep.
last time dancing: that stupid club.

Thought of the Day: I don't know how to cut onions.
Song of the Day: Wayne Wonder-No Letting Go

July 9, 2003

praise God i just finished my paper! i started at 2 and finished at 12:20. for some reason, writing this paper wasn't as bad as the first one. but i'm pretty sure that'll be the hardest paper i'll have to write for a while. i have to admit that my teacher was really nice in helping me. he always invites people to cornerstone and tells us that he'll even buy us a drink when we go meet with him. and sure enough, the other day he offered to buy me a drink. anyways, he was just real nice about critiquing my paper. "i can tell you spent alot of time on this paper. this right here, Part Two, is what got you the check plus...blah blah blah." haha. yeah, i feel like i'm learning bit by bit how to write and write. stupid high school doesn't teach you how to write for crap. anyways, i'm hoping for a B.

random:

so my roommate, billy, really likes to play minesweeper on his laptop EVERY SINGLE DAY! this guy is hardcore. i just clear clicking and clicking at random times of the day. he's really good too...

billy: hey, did you know that i beat my old record?
me: what'd you get?
billy: 79 seconds. i was so happy that i wanted to go drinking that night to celebrate.
me: hahahahahaha.

yeah i know...loser.

so i haven't really blogged about the different things i've been wanting in my life for a long time...physical things that is. i haven't really THOUGHT about it so let's see what i come up with:

1. the brown cabinet thing for my desk from Ikea. $30
2. more naruto toys. $10?
3. staple remover. i either lost it or never brought one down. $5
4. more film. $10
5. Poolhall Junkies dvd. $20
6. comfortable pair of slippers/sandals. $30?

man, what a piece of crap list! haha. i guess that's good though cause it's a sign that i'm pretty content with the things i already have. plus i've kept my wish list to about $100. wow, i've never done that before. man, i'm not even halfway done with july and i only have $60 to spend for the next 4 weeks. what am i going to do?

Thought of the Day: My haircut WAS high.
Song of the Day: Smashing Pumpkins-Today Is The Greatest

July 7, 2003

man, i'm having a pretty bad day today. i haven't had a bad day in a while. remember in my last entry when i asked if i had to be broken by God? well, i got what i asked for today...

1. i just did alotta stupid things at work. i know andrea and monica think i'm slow and stupid.
2. the keyboard sliding board broke on me.
3. driving to sean's place, the middle of the road was blocked off so i went ALL THE WAY AROUND.
4. this big ugly girl in class was quite flirtatious around me. *shudder*
5. i have to rewrite my research paper b/c my thesis is totally irrelevant.
6. i hit sooooo many red lights on the way to the park today.
7. i played possibly the worst basketball in my life today.
8. billy and arthur didn't go to costco today. another day w/o trash bags.
9. no food in the house. dinner = cereal tonight.

but i know it's not over yet. i'm no where near being HUMBLED. God's going to break me hard...and i think it's going to involve my paper. dang, this is what happens when you live a life that shows no love for God. you can't fake it or force it. God knows everything. i can't write my paper in my condition right now. just rest and get ready for a terrible day tomorrow.

i love this song by The Ataris. you know how certain foods hit the spot when you're craving it really bad? well this song hits the spot for me right now...

"I Won't Spend Another Night Alone"

A star up in the sky goes slowly passing by,
The lights below...they spell out your name.
You're comfort on my mind and you're with me all the time.
And lot's of feeling that I can't explain.

I won't spend another night alone.

Out of every girl I meet, no other can compete
I'd ditch em all for a night with you.
I know you don't believe you mean this much to me
But I promise you that you do.

If I had one wish this is what it would be...
I'd ask you to spend all your time with me,
That we'd be together forever.
We'd buy a small house in south central L.A.
Raise lots of kids then we'd both join a gang
Just as long as we're together.

The things you make me wanna do
I'd rob a quik-e-mart for you
I'd go to the pound and let all the cats go free
Just as long as you'd be with me.

unfortunately, their other songs aren't as good as this one.

Thought of the Day: "Don't judge a book by its cover!"
Song of the Day: The Ataris-I Won't Spend Another Night Alone

July 5, 2003

this four day weekend has been pretty good so far. lots of playing the whole day. i don't think there's been a moment where i felt bored these past two days. i went to la to go visit crawford and eddie on thursday. man, boxing is so much fun! it's really tiring but oh so satisfying when you hit the person in the face...right crawford? =D i didn't stay in la too long but i found out that jisun and deborah were there too so i decided to check out torrance for the first time.

torrance really isn't as bad as they said it was. yes it's kinda ghetto but it's not like they have absolutely NOTHING. there's Redondo Beach, that awesome park in PV, and "bobo juice!" haha. i don't know, i thought torrance was alrite. i always have a good time hanging out with those two girls. i finally figured out how to look for the Big Dipper! gosh, i couldn't tell you garbage about stars or space. it's an area that i'm quite interested in and i really enjoy looking at a starry night. but dude, i am one ignoramus when it comes to astronomologicalitionaly stuff...

if i had a gf...

me: you see that star over there?
girl: yeah?
me: that's a pretty star huh?

whatever...stupid stars. haha.

but i did learn something about myself that night. i am a VERY analytical person. i always observe. i always notice. i always realize. i'm always thinking and thinking and i almost always want to share my thoughts with people. i guess that's why people tell me that psychology fits me pretty well. i don't know, i don't think i was always like this. i think i am a result of hanging out with chang too much. that guy really taught me to think beyond the surface, to really go deeper and really THINK! but i suppose i can overdo it sometimes. i mean, what kinda person enjoys listening to unceasing analyses about everything.

this also reminds me of ANOTHER realization. haha. i think the older you get, the more you see your bad qualities. i think when we're younger, we tend to think that we're some awesome and perfect piece of creation. i'm not stupid. they are. i'm not ugly. they are. i'm normal. they're weird. but i notice that i see more and more imperfections rather that the "good qualities" in myself. you see problems with your personality, physique, walk with God, speech, habits, etc.. i guess it's kinda like sin. as you grow older and mature, you become more and more sanctified, growing in holiness. and as a result, you see more and more of your sin. well, not just your sin but sin in general...the sinfulness of man. the sin of this world. so i guess it's a good thing. i mean, i don't think it'd be good everyone just got prouder and prouder of themselves. man, some people are already too arrogant.

previous 4th of july's...

9th grade: blew up firecrackers for the first time at bis.
10th grade: Giants/Dodger game.
11th grade: Korea.
12th grade: Chili's and hang out at terrance's place.

this year was probably my best 4th of july ever. it was such a chill day. i woke up at 12. got a haircut from dykas. went to Los Alizanes. went to Nickle Nickle for 2 hours. lol. went to arthur's house and watched them play with fireworks for a long long time. went to Pink's. saw daybear there...freakin' coincidence. and it was really hot the whole day so i loved it.

ever since alice told me about how she LOVES hot weather b/c she loves to sweat, i started to really like hot weather too. she was telling me how she loves to sweat b/c it's so refreshing, opening up all your pores and just sweating! i really liked that kinda mentality. so ever since, i've been looking forward to some hot HOT weather in irvine. and today's weather happend to do much justice to my desires.

man, my walk with God is so dry these days. i read and pray but there's no passion. there's no fire. must i be broken for the nth time to come back to God in humility and give Him the praise that He deserves?
Job 1:21: naked i came from my mother's womb and naked i will depart. the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. may the name of the Lord be praised.
*sigh* may the name of the Lord be praised. no matter what state i am in, i am to praise God. difficult.

Thought of the Day: Simon came back safe.
Song of the Day: Good Charlotte-La Clique

July 3, 2003

you know, summer school isn't as bad as i thought it would be. i remember having dreadful thoughts of taking 39c over the summer during the school year. however, the workload isn't as bad as it normally would be. i guess alot of it also has to do with the fact that i'm only taking one course so i don't have to worry about anything else. even my writing teacher isn't as bad as my first impression of him thought to be. he has a very unique sense of humor that makes everyone laugh their laughs that they're trying to keep in. i don't know what is is...gay humor? but whatever it is, that bastard is a funny man. he actually does a pretty good job with teaching us writing too. today, he taught us how to write a good argumentative paper while playing his guitar. yeah, i can't believe it...the stuff actually made sense. but nevertheless, there IS work to be done! i had my first working draft due for my first paper today. last night, i started at 7 and finished at 4 in the morning. ugh, 9 hours on minimum wage. then of course i had to wake up at 7:20 to get ready for work.

but you know what's really cool about my job? our director, monica, actually buys us lunch every time we work! she just asks everyone what they want and she sends one of us out to go get it. how cool is that? i have a pretty chill job. i get good hours. i get good pay. i get free food. what more can a college student ask for? (more money fa sho!). but really, i'm content with my summer right now. i feel like i'm being pretty productive with summer school and work, and i still make time to have fun.

one thing i'm learning this summer is that you really need to make an effort to hang out with friends. i think everyone just kinda sits around at home and waits for people to call them with good ideas to hang out. but if everyone has this mentality, no one is going to hang out and everyone is going to be bored and sad. so i think it's important to really take the initiative to call people up and see if they wanna hang out. if not, too bad. if they're down, you now have something to do! i learned this through observation and personal experience...in other words, the hard way. yes, even a popular guy like me goes through periods of loneliness. haha. i called myself popular.

i watched T3 today with simone, simon, and dykas. i didn't think it was too bad. the action and dialogue was no where close to T2, but i was fairly impressed with the way they concluded the Terminator trilogy. and yeah, Kristanna Loken is hot.

Thought of the Day: Four day weekend.
Song of the Day: African Children's Choir-Thy Word