i wrote about two different dreams that i had today. i briefly wrote about my ride down with jess and crawford. however, i wrote a GRIP about my position on the theology of the creation of sin. 2 hours spent writing this crap. this was my second attempt to rewrite this entry as a result of a previous blackout earlier during the day. *sigh* who would've thought that there'd be a second blackout. i can think of a few reasons why God might not have allowed me to post my entry...

1. i still need to finish the third part of the debate, God Sovereignty.
2. i still need to read Sproul's chapter, Who Dunit?, in his book Almighty Over All.
3. people aren't ready to hear what i have to say just yet.

angry i was. "WHY GOD?!" i questioned. i can only tell myself that God is sovereign. Job 40:5-I spoke once, but I have no answer-twice, but I will say no more.

Thought of the Day: Cake is too sweet.
Song of the Day: Notorious BIG-Big Poppa

a very INTERESTING way to start off 20...

all the irvine guys and i were in korea. we were in this program with all these fobs and they were making us participate in this eating activity. basically, you paired up with a fob and you took turns feeding each other this very interesting korean dish (like this red mandoo thing wrapped in this spicy thing). it makes me sad that this dish does not exist in real life cause it was DANG GOOD! anyways, my partner and i were having some communication problems. there was even this book that explained how to wrap it and everything but i just couldn't get it. so everyone was being pretty successful except for us. i asked my cousin to help me out but he just gave me his I Don't Know and continued feeding his partner. pissed off i was! i left the stupid activity and found eugene doing a really good job with his partner. haha. chris was lying down next to him, giggling as he was red drunk...

me: dude, how do you wrap that thing?
eugene: it's easy man!

yeah, what a way to encourage.

jay and i had to get something for danny's bday so we had to buy something for him last minute. i remember him telling me to go to Albertson's while he went somewhere else. i got out of his red car (the same car that Frank had (from Old School)) and ran inside. we ended up getting him a Get Backers board game and headed back to my new 2 bed 2 bath apt. that i shared with him. as always, he was very lonely and bored so he was pretty happy to see us.

finally, i was playing hold'em with about 5 strangers and danny. man, first hand i had pocket jacks!!! i bet half my chips ($5) on the preflop and everyone played!

flop: J A (and some random card)

i go all in.

everyone folds except this guy sitting right next to me.
calls.
we flip our cards.
me: (pocket jacks disappear?!)
stranger: A and some random card.
*people OOOOOO-ing for me*

turn: random card.

river: A!

dude, i know that freakin' bastard switched my cards or something.

next game...

me: pocket jacks again!!!

all in.

everyone calls!

everyone flips:

*people OOOOOO-ing for me* again

different stranger has pocket 6's.

flop: J 6 and some random card.

turn: A

river: 6

oh my. 4 of a kind.

Thought of the Day: It's my birthday and I can cry if I want to.
Song of the Day: Dishwalla-Angels and Devils

this is my first time having a sore butt. i don't even know how i worked the muscle. it feels kinda good though.

chang made me an awesome burger today....

me: what are we eating today?
chang: something meaty.

lol.

finally watched Amadeus. Mozart is the man!

Thought of the Day: Burgers burned in charcoal.
Song of the Day: M-flo-Miss You

Fatboy Slim-Tequila Remix playing. you know what that means...FINALS ARE FINISHED!!!

math final: i think i got 8/10 problems correct.

film final: good and bad. good b/c i studied the right terms. bad b/c...

*finished first essay question*.
(looks at second question).
(rereads the question).
(rereads the question).
*shakes head*
*turns in test and exits lecture hall*

if i fail this class, i'm going to be SO unhappy!

bio final: =D

korean final: =D

i got a new phone 2 days ago. i haven't had a new phone in a pretty long time. it's weird going back to a flip phone. you have to like open/close it and stuff. but i'm pretty content with it. onechuel started working at this phone store in irvine so he hooked me up pretty well. all verizon carriers can now talk with me free! (except for you, crawford). but more than being happy with my phone, i like my ringtone the best! $1.99 is so worth it! 949-322-0260. i wanna hear my phone ringtone!

stealing from chang:

LOL! Arminian Grace

Arminian grace! How strange the sound
Salvation hinged on ME
I once was lost then turned around
Was blind then chose to see

What "grace" is it that calls for choice
Out of some good within?
The part that willed to heed God's voice
Proved stronger than my sin

Through many ardent gospel pleas
I sat with heart of stone
But then some hidden good in me
Propelled me toward my home

When we've been there ten thousand years
Because of what we've done
We've no less days to sing our praise
Than when we first begun

- Dennis Walter Cochran

Thought of the Day: Finished!!!
Song of the Day: Fatboy Slim-Tequila Remix (obviously)

i finally found out that why my car was reeking of gasoline. remember my pleasant experience with my car running out of gas during thanksgiving break? well, a months after that, i decided to keep an emergency tank of gas in my trunk cause you know...just in case! unfortunately, what was supposed to be tightly sealed container happened to conveniently open up just enough to maliciously contaminate my whole trunk. i tried "shampooing" my trunk last night and i think it's getting a little better. chris said it would take about a week for the brain-killing odor to become no more. i don't know, i think i either lost or retarded my sense of smell. the drive up north is going to be an unhealthy one.

kevin's been over at our place this whole week. we've been playing lots of hold'em in my room every single night. i also started downloading the World Series of Poker 2003 and been watching those. man, just watching those guys is SO intense! i find it so interesting how all of the players have such different backgrounds. you got your cowboy accents, the cocky vietnamise smiles, sunglasses in various shapes and sizes, and of course, kids who have barely finished college all the way to geezers who look lost half the time. i'm so glad i learned how to play hold'em this year.

finals has arrived once again. you know what that means...MARATHON IN IRVINE!!! i'm almost done with the movie downloads so all i need is the company and click goes the Play button. haha i can already hear LA cussing.

Thought of the Day: ALL IN!
Song of the Day: M-flo & Boa-Love Bug Big Bug NYC Mix

i took april to go watch a movie at night. on the way there, everyone started crowding around my car. i got out of my car and saw that i had a flat tire. then my car started smoking up everywhere and my mom appeared out of no where! she started lecturing me about taking care of my car and made such a big fuss out of a stupid flat tire. haha. ironically, it happened to be the front right tire, which was the same tire that Kevin thought looked a little flat. anyways, my mom's behavior becomes so inappropriate that i drag her away from everyone to a nearby outdoor restaurant. i remember she was wearing alotta make up and this nice looking blue dress. MORE LECTURING!!! i couldn't take it anymore and i just blew up on her. i hadn't fought with her in a long time but this was just retarded. man, i was so emotional and caught up in my words that even my korean sounded perfect. she started crying and apologizing her and i just bounced. freakin' hate her!

dream #2...

i became one of the Olsen twins (i don't know which one). but we were on this obstacle course of some sort that was crazy dangerous. all i remember was swimming through random tunnels and always bumping into my sister. it all came down to this last obstacle where i was supposed to climb down this ladder that was a good 100 ft. high. but the tricky thing was that i had these giant pliers to prevent me from slipping. those stupid things were useless b/c the only thing they really did was cause me to slip! the announcer guy kept acting all gay and laughed at our cute attitudes. funny how i can still remember wearing a white bathing suit. anyways, i slid down the ladder pole which happened to be real fun and safely made it down. i was a very angry twin with an annoying little sister.

weird dreams. this is my first time that i've dreamt that i was a girl. i think another weird dream i had on sat. was being really good buddies with Greg Bahnsen. he actually happened to look like Dr. Johnson (from Westminster (of the speakers at One Voice)) and even had his voice. but yeah, we were like tight and i was so happy and proud.

i don't find pleasure in writing much about my days these days even though i feel that they're eventful. as of late, i think i just like to reflect...i think i'm getting old.

my brother turns 15 today. man, i hated that age. that was the age where i fought with my mom the most! i think we literally fought at least once a week. a bastard i was to my mother (shaking head). i remember being so lost with friends too. i had no idea who i was. i didn't know where i fitted in. i was incredibly socially awkward. i was just hating it. so with that said, Happy Birthday, Simon!

haha just kidding. 15 also had its blessings. that was the age when i slowly felt more accepted in yg. that was the age i first liked someone beyond a crush. the first time experiencing heartache is definitely a killer. 15 was when i played basketball regularly after school. =D memorable times.

jpop is fading and korean's coming back. it's all about old school nostalgia.

Thought of the Day: Happy Birthday, Simon.
Song of the Day: Cool-Before I Become Sad Remix

Thought of the Day: We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz.
Song of the Day: Diva-Hey Boy

running-day #2. today, my 2 mile time was 19:38. such a terrible reality. that is why i've concluded that i ran an extra lap today. my real time should be in the 18's. =D anyways, as i was running today i started to think about my high school x-country years. my friend, wesley chan, was really fast and always seemed to improve every time he raced. but i remember this one particular time when i was waiting at the finish line to cheer on the first runners from our team to come in. wesley ran really fast that day and actually came in second place! but after he finished, he collapsed and threw up! freakin' incredible huh?
note: x-country runners who throw up after they run means that they ran to their body's full potential.
i thought and thought about it and realized that he seriously put his body to the MAX! he gave it his all and he had done so well.
as i was running today, i thought about the analogy of our chistian lives being like a long race. i think alot of us run the way i run when i run at the arc-pacing yourself well in the beginning and slowly degenerating with every lap. =D i mean in a race, you definitely have your ups and downs throughout the event. but what counts is that you gave it your best. i think the same thing should go for lives as christians. my encouragement to everyone is not run like out-of-shape phil, but rather run like i-am-so-going-to-throw-up-after-this wesley. Philippians 4:14-I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me hevaenward in Christ Jesus.

i had another one of those days where i felt really proud to be a student at UC Irvine. as i was walking to my film studies class, i seriously had the best view of my beautiful campus. my school has the greenest grass, the warmest sun, the nicest breeze, and the most appealing buildings. i remembered that debate justin had with dave and john chi about choosing Irvine or Davis for college. lol. today was another one of those days where i was glad i listened to dave and john chi. "this is irvine. this is riverside. this is davis." lol.

i'm also really glad that it's march. i freakin' hate februaries cause it's the worst month of the year!

feb.
1. middle of winter qtr.
2. crappiest cold, rainy weather.
3. women's banquet.
4. Valentine's Day.
5. SO busy!

i cannot wait til spring break!

Thought of the Day: Why am i coughing so much?
Song of the Day: Lim Chang Jung-Gone With The Wind

i got a $56 parking ticket today. cited at 1:24am...in the freakin' rain. i always knew it was wrong but i always got away with parking on the red. i hate parking at Park West. it shouldn't even be called "Park West." it should be called "Our Parking Freakin' Sucks So Don't Live Here Apartments." i can always ease myself with a little optimistic thinking: well, at least i didn't get a speeding ticket or anything. at least i didn't get my car towed. at least i didn't have to pay ANYTHING over $56. well, all i can think of is two words: BUT STILL!!! ticket is a ticket and sucks is a sucks. $56 could have bought me 4 dongchimees! that's four separate euphoric experiences that just got stolen by the Irvine Parking Administration. if God wills for me to renounce my faith sometime in my life, i'm going to burn the police department down...AFTER i get my $56 back!

i started running again today. the first day is always the WORST. i finished 2 miles in 18 min. today. i think i skipped a lap or two cause there was no way i could've finished 2 miles with the fatigue i was running at. i don't like it when i'm running and people look at my face. they know just as much as i know that i'm hating it so much. sometimes i see girls laughing too. i wonder if they're laughing at me.

Thought of the Day: I want the permit for the rest of the school year.
Song of the Day: Wild Cherry-Play That Funky Music