venting thoughts...

i guess this is the first official week of school. this year is SO much busier than freshmen year. i think it's mainly b/c i'm working and going to school now. it just takes up alotta time and energy. i leave the apt. at 11 and come home at 5:30 everyday. draining. i seriously do not see anyway for me to make time to work out cause by the time i get home, i just won't have enough energy to study (like i do anyways right?). inconsistent. man, i really wanna start working out again too. when i'm this discouraged, how the heck am i going to manage next year? am i doomed to stay out of shape forever?

last night, i started watching Gaeul Donghwa with dykas on his computer cause we got the cds from a friend. that was definitely my most favorite drama ever. i remember watching that crap during my junior year. my brother and i watched the first two videos so many times cause we liked it so much. it's like whatevers now but at the time, it was SO DEPRESSING as if it were in real life...

(in spanish AP taking a test)...
me: (stare). *sigh*

lol. my brother always cracks up when i tell him about that incident. but yeah, song hye gyo is still so attractive. i can't believe she was like only 18 or 19 at the time. good stuff man.

well i had a pretty long day today. class from 11-3 nonstop and tutor til 5. you know what's crazy? last night, i had a dream of my old dorm roommate, minh. if you don't remember, we ended on pretty bad terms and didn't even say bye to each other on the last day. so anyways, i had a dream about him which is really weird b/c i've never dreamt about him in my life. well like most dreams, i didn't remember what happened but i just forgot about it and went to school. the thing is, i heard from one of my friends that he was taking the same history class as me. i didn't think much of it since it's a pretty big lecture hall and you usually can't see people you know anyways.

so i go to my tiny tiny discussion section today. woah, richard's in this class...and he's in my discussion too! what a coincidence. so about 15 min. into the class, door opens, and in walks minh. i straight up said in my head, "GOD, that is so not funny!" of all the classes, of all the discussions, we just had to end up in the same one. and unforutnately, discussion is mandatory and part of your grade so yeah, i'll be seeing him every time there's class. oh the awkwardness...i hate it. i wonder how hard God is laughing right now.

better news: my two kids are liking me more and more. i know jordan enjoys studying with me cause we have alot of fun...

me: "voices." jordan, use that in a sentence.
jordan: philip has many strange voices.
me: ahahhahahaha.

as i was leaving today...

jordan: you know philip...
mom: yeah, you like him alot huh?
jordan: no, is he coming tomorrow?

GRIN.

i think dillon's liking me more too. no hard evidence but i got a hunch. very subtle things. the best part is that i can see them improving little by little. praise God!

speaking of which, i went out to ccm today for the first time in a long time. lots of old familiar faces and a handful of new freshmen. but i made a big decision today: i'm going to stop going out to ccm. i never went for the "fellowship" or accountability or whatever. i just went out to meet people cause i didn't know too many christians my freshmen year. but now, i just feel like i'm going and i'm wasting my time. i don't feel like socializing and they just go out and eat more often than i can afford...especially with new freshmen and all. haha. now i understand why genie and eugene stopped coming out last year. it all makes sense now. however, i still encourage freshmen to go to these clubs to meet people. great place to meet people and occasional good messages. that's about it.

i don't know if it's b/c i'm really busy these days but i really enjoy spending time in the apt. it's just so quiet and relaxing. i can just sit at my computer and listen to music. i can do my hw and study in solitude. i can sleep and eat with no trouble at all. ugh, what am i kidding...i'm getting old.

Thought of the Day: Exhausted.
Song of the Day: Notorious BIG-Going Back To Cali