grades for spring 2004 came out so i checked my grades today. NR for film studies?! (Original grade was NR which became F or NP after one quarter of attendance or at the end of the quarter immediately preceding award of the degree, whichever came first.) it said. my transcript didn't even show it as an attempted class. so i was getting all scared that i failed this class b/c i REALLY did not want to take it over again. i really felt like i was having one of zenia's panic attacks.

as i was about to email my TA about my grade, i found an email from the professor letting me know that they just hadn't sent in the grades yet but that i had passed. *PHEEEW* (wipes sweat off brow).

haha. it was kind of funny to see my grade turnout for this past qtr. in the classes that i concentrated and studied for the most, i did the worst. the class that i barely studied in, i got A-'s. but praise God for allowing me to pass the Film Studies courses and also giving me some very kind grades. but i'm even more glad that i learned so much from these courses. all glory to Him.

retrospect:

sophomore year was a big year of growth for me. i know that i said that i probably grew and learned the most in my freshmen year, but this year was a different kind of growth. apt. life was totally not what i expected it to be. school actually became enjoyable (to a certain degree). i became closer to people who i never would have imagined. God reevealed to me even more of my sinful nature and even more of His holy character. i feel like many of my thoughts and beliefs were sharpened and tuned during my soph. year.

memories:

1. moving into Parkwest and going to IKEA 20 million times.
2. watching Casablanca with little eddie the night before my last final.
3. studying for math final with little eddie.
4. all of those beef-based tensions with aaron.
5. talking to danny boy about girls for the first time.
6. all of those hold'em nights at willburt's.
7. crawford's surprise b-day party.
8. reading for History 21a and dropping the course.
9. all of those dorm dinners at la.
10. the night i went to la to study for finals.
11. dormal!
12. that one day we hung out at barrel's place when terrance's socks smelled really bad.
13. chilling at boba loca with terrance, sunshine, and barrel.
14. lovefest 2004.
15. trying to fix my computer after attempting to reformat.
16. playing ball at san marco.
17. studying at Cerritos Library after outreach.
18. playing hold'em with rachel and sarah for the first time.
19. studying with chris at Gateway.
20. all of those walks after class with erica.
21. seeing hannah almost every single day.
22. meeting all of my students for the first time.
23. that one time kevin stayed at my place for like over a week.
24. eating at Sergio's for the first time.
25. going to USC and hanging out with mariela and alice in ktown.
26. all of those random times barrel came over.
27. chang's wedding.
28. eating dongchimee with chang and the gang.
29. three words. Casa De Dios.
30. yg retreat.
31. taking out wisdom teeth.
32. roadtrip with la.
33. the drive up north with jane yu and jennifer moon.
34. fixing my car too many times.
35. watching danny boy playing Madden like EVERY single day for a while.
36. getting new hold'em chips.
37. getting new cell phone.
38. cafe nite.
39. noraebang in ktown with many.
40. playing ball at usc and killing them every time.

to be honest, these times weren't nearly as memorable as my freshmen year memories. all good.-dinkas.

thursday: vip, alberto's.
friday: pizza.
saturday: dongchimee, alberto's again.

i'm going to start exercising again after paraguay.

Thought of the Day: You make bracelets that don't fit in hell.
Song of the Day: MercyMe-Here Am I

What stupid celebrity are you destined to kill? by daydreamer8852
Name
Birthdate
You killed
With a
On	January 17, 2010
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

first official day of summer vacation.
mission: have a wasteful day.

1. woke up at 11:30.
2. didn't eat lunch til 2.
3. watched Ricki Lake, KCAL news, and the Bernstein Bears for one hour.
4. ate a tuna sandwich while playing chess with terrance at 3:30.
5. ate another tuna sandwich right after danny boy left for work.
6. watched Heavyweights at 4.
7. blogged about my wasteful day at 6.

mission accomplished.

Thought of the Day: Oh No!
Song of the Day: Jinusean-How Deep Is Your Love

You're a Speak & Spell!! You nerd, you. Just
because you were disguised as a toy doesn't
mean you weren't educational, you sneaky
bastard.


What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thought of the Day: Calm down.
Song of the Day: Hoobastank-The Reason

the sun has suddenly appeared from the white clouds, fatboy slim is playing the right beats, and my stomach is full from In N' Out. Finals are finally fin! this long awaited day has come and it still hasn't really hit me yet. it's always like that right after your last test. i wanted to celebrate but there really isn't anybody to celebrate with...right now.

well, i took my bio final yesterday. after my first two midterms, i didn't go to class again b/c i kept falling asleep in every lecture. so just like every test in that class, i would study all of the lectures online the night before, wake up and study more, pray, take the test, and pray again. well, i felt that this final really raped me inside and out. anyways, i got home and checked my test score. i got an A??? and today, i got home and checked my final grade for the class. 87-100 = A. and lo and behold, i had 87 points. it would be absolutely retarded if i took ANY claim on this grade. all glory to God. a B would have been a very gracious grade. an A is just absolutely undeserving. all glory to God. all glory to God!

i've been doing alotta thinking about my future career lately. i think i've decided that i want to teach math. i talked to several counselors this past week and it didn't look too good for me since i have no math background. after talking to a counselor again today, there's an exciting chance that i might end up doing a math minor. funny, isn't it? phil doing something like math? as much as i really SUCK at math, i think it's a subject that i really enjoy. it's going to be interesting planning all this crap out.

Thought of the Day: J schmOE 31 (1:32:06 PM): freedom is great
Song of the Day: Fatboy Slim-Tequila Remix

AsianXboi56 (5:05:14 PM): hi its mom
Pretzelboi96 (5:05:23 PM): hi mom
AsianXboi56 (5:05:58 PM): are ok?
Pretzelboi96 (5:06:05 PM): excellent!
Pretzelboi96 (5:06:16 PM): i have two more finals to take
Pretzelboi96 (5:06:20 PM): one tomorrow
Pretzelboi96 (5:06:23 PM): and last one on thursday
AsianXboi56 (5:06:28 PM): don't laughing
Pretzelboi96 (5:06:34 PM): i'm not
AsianXboi56 (5:07:15 PM): i'm so happy because simon came back
Pretzelboi96 (5:07:29 PM): haha me too
Pretzelboi96 (5:07:36 PM): his face keeps getting bigger!
AsianXboi56 (5:07:52 PM): very hot today here
AsianXboi56 (5:08:27 PM): aye
AsianXboi56 (5:08:28 PM): it's me now
AsianXboi56 (5:08:29 PM): dude
Pretzelboi96 (5:08:32 PM): ayo
AsianXboi56 (5:08:38 PM): she was SO fasinated by aim
AsianXboi56 (5:08:40 PM): hahahahahhaa
AsianXboi56 (5:08:42 PM): she was cracking up
Pretzelboi96 (5:08:46 PM): lol
Pretzelboi96 (5:08:48 PM): very nice
AsianXboi56 (5:08:48 PM): when she said "how are you"
AsianXboi56 (5:08:51 PM): and you went excellent!
AsianXboi56 (5:08:57 PM): she started laughing so hard
Pretzelboi96 (5:09:00 PM): ahhahahahhahahahha

Thought of the Day: So...how 'bout them Lakers? =D
Song of the Day: The Turtles-So Happy Together

congratulations. you are the "you smell like
butt" bunny. your brutally honest and
always say whats on your mind.


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

my favorite time of the year has come. i think jay said it best when he told me how "we always ends up finding other things to do rather than studying for finals." studying is always a last resort. i've already started one movie for the week, checked my email, read everyone's blog, checked everyone's away message, and even tried to fall asleep early so that i can just study in the morning. well before i hit that book another rare time, i've decided to blog b/c blogging kills lots of precious productive time.

this qtr.'s final week schedule is one final everyday from monday-thursday. that means that i've already finished my first one, film. as i was taking my final, i took one last good look at my secret crush but a whole buncha interest just left me. it's not that she looked any different or anything but all that secret crush stuff just suddenly left me without a warning. so unfortunately, i did not get to ask her out to dinner. *shrug* happens all the time. me being the romantic that i am probably would have just bought her in n' out or something anyway.

party in irvine. wednesday. be there, or be square (like jess kim).

Thought of the Day: Aaron is leaving this saturday.
Song of the Day: Boa-My Name

Casa De Dios

First verse:
Mejor es un dia en la casa de Dios
Que mil anos lejos de El
Prefiero un rincon en la casa de Dios
Que todo el palacio de un rey
Que todo el palacio de un rey

Chorus:
Ven conmigo a la casa de Dios
Celebraremos juntos su amor
Haremos fiesta en honor de aquel que nos amo
Estando aqui en la casa de Dios
Alegraremos su corazon
Le brindearemos ofrendas de obediencia y amor
En la casa de Dios

Second verse:
Arde mi alma, arde de amor
Porque el que me dio la vida
Por eso le anhela mi corazon
Anhela de su compania
Anhela de su compania

Thought of the Day: Computer is back to officially back to normal.
Song of the Day: Casa De Dios

i have this secret crush on this girl in my film class. while she sits on the far right side in the front of the class, i'm on the far left in the 4th or 5th row secretly spying on her. since my eyes are bad, i can't see her all too clearly. but from what i can make out, she seems to have a pretty face, shoulder length black hair, and skinny body. my best guess is that she's japanese but i could be totally mistaking a chinese of some kind. so anyways, i have film on mondays and wednesdays. i always steal quick glances at her while i'm supposed to be paying attention to the professor. but sometimes we make this unprepared and unexpected eye contact. scary times dude! but of course, my blurred vision could be showing some false realities. perhaps she is just looking at hannah who is sitting right next to me. perhaps she is just looking at the ugly wall that stands right beside me. whatever the case, i cannot take any risks b/c she finding out that me slyly spying on her would absolutely end my life. man, i don't even know her name. i don't know a SINGLE thing about her. but i do know that i like the way she dresses. maybe i'll ask her out after finals. HAHA! man, i hate the bozo who sits right behind her and always talks to her. that guy is annoying.

AsianXboi56 (10:04:26 PM): shouldn't you be studying
Pretzelboi96 (10:04:51 PM): but shouldn't i also not push myself too hard?
Pretzelboi96 (10:05:02 PM): you know, life isn't all about studying
Pretzelboi96 (10:05:07 PM): there's more to this life
AsianXboi56 (10:05:10 PM): right phil
AsianXboi56 (10:05:16 PM): you're really pushing yourself

cynics can be such bastards.

i went to go study at Gateway Commons last night for the first time with chris. i always heard about the 24 hour study area but i never gave myself the opportunity to actually take a visit...since i don't study. =D so we're passing by all these computer labs and there's all these engineers there. lol. you could totally smell the lack of shampoo in those rooms. well, chris was doing his own thing and i was doing mine, and i had come upon some very interesting words from an article i had to read for my film final. terrance once asked me if i had to choose to watch just one, would i choose korean dramas or anime. at the time, i said korean dramas b/c i thought watching real life people was more appealing to the eye. but after reading this article, i really don't know anymore. this guy gives such a cool explanation...

Tomov: Animation has its charm and qualities. It delivers different aesthetic and emotional experience. It is not just about telling a story the fastest and the cheapest way. The Triplets would have not been nearly as interesting and unique if it was a live action film. The hand made, drawn feel that comes from the screen, the stylization of the characters (you can not find actors with this kind of bizarre physics) resonate quite well with the equally bizarre story we are witnessing.

when i read that, i was like WOAH! (and i'm sure when you read that, you were like LOSER!). i'm no film major but i definitely appreciate alotta different things i'm learning in this class. as much as i have hated my film TAs for this year and as much as i have hated writing those (insert bad word) papers, film is so cool. you should go watch The Triplets of Belleville. i should go listen to my brother's words.

Thought of the Day: Oh yeah, I have to study for Korean Oral Test!
Song of the Day: Ataris-Boys Of The Summer

i watched Day After Tomorrow yesterday with sun and terrance. i always thought the preview looked kinda cool but everyone i asked seemed to have no interest in the movie. luckily, i have my set group of movie friends who are down to watch almost anything with me. i think we all agreed that it had been pretty long since we all felt so tense during a movie. it is probably the best disaster movie i've ever seen! but man, there was this one part that really opened my eyes...

so this kid's dad is a climate expert and he tells his son to tell everyone that he needs to stay inside or else they were going to freeze to death outside. so everybody starts leaving the place to walk outside b/c they don't see the danger. the kid desperately asks people to stay inside and to trust him b/c he knows that his dad is right with these kinds of things. but everyone is leaving and many people freeze to death. i think that scene is so similar to evangelizing to nonchristians. our Father knows best and tells us to tell spread the important news to everyone. but people have such hardened hearts and they do not listen. the scary thing is that they will not merely experience a freezing to death. they will experience spritual death...forever.

i got sick last night. i got REALLY sick today at church. it went from a minor sore throat to an aching flu or fever. today was like the first time i didn't finish my jjajangmyun at VIP. when everything you eat tastes like newspaper, you really appreciate your regular appetite that you have...which reminds me of another anology:

Romans 5 talks about with so much sin, there is so much more grace. however, we definitely should not think that we ought to sin more so that grace would inrease. i was thinking about my life and how i foolishly live in my sinfulness. we know so much better but we continue to fall in our sin. i was thinking that was pretty similar to cutting your leg and taking medicine. when you're in so much pain, you appreciate the medicine b/c it relieves and heals the pain. the greater the pain, the more you love and cherish the medicine. however, only a fool would continue to cut his leg just so that his apprecation for medicine would increase more. i don't know, i'm never good with analogies. but this was something that i just thought about during the week (whether or not it makes sense).

Thought of the Day: I really envy SD and Riverside
Song of the Day: Mercy Me-Here Am I

i have been really tired these days. for the past few weeks, i've only been able to catch up on my sleep on sunday afternoons. there is absolutely NO day where i can sleep in at all. if you know me, i have a hard time functioning with little or no sleep. i mean, it's not like i choose to be cranky or complain when i'm drowsy. my body just won't allow me to act in a socially and physically acceptable manner. i finally realized just HOW tired i was today when i just could not wake up from my nap to go to my film class. sleep deprivation really does catch up to you...

9:00 bio class...

*eyes close*
*eyes open*
(slide changes).
*eyes close*
*eyes open*
(slide changes again).
*eyes close*
*eyes open*
(class is over).
*yawn*

see what i mean?

so it's that wonderful time of the year again. signing up for next qtr's classes. if you do not already know, i am declared psychology major, planning on minoring education. my future career plans are to teach either middle or high school students. anyways, i was looking to sign up for my classes and i realized that i didn't know what the education courses were. so i went to the education department today and picked up a few handouts that talked about future careers in teaching. for the first time in a long time, i started worrying about my future plans...

if i want to teach middle or high school, i need to choose a subject to teach. the handouts explained how it would be good if i had a strong background in math courses for teaching math, strong background in history courses for teaching history, etc.. so here's the problem. i HAVE NO strong background in any subject. i'm majoring under psychology but that is not a subject that i can really teach in secondary schools. i mean, there's alotta subjects that i'm interested in but i'm just not good at them. there's also alotta subjects that i'm decent in but i just have no interest. i feel like all of that "just go with the flow" attitude is really catching up to me right now. at times like this, i just need to remember Jeremiah 29:11-13. whenever people are distressed or unhappy with the events of their lives, i simply remind them that God is sovereign and gracious. God is always good.

this may sound kinda bad/wrong depending on how you look at it, but honestly speaking...i really hope that God does not want me to become a pastor. (nervous chuckle).

Thought of the Day: I do what i do not want to do.
Song of the Day: Mercy Me-Here With Me

take it backwards, one step at a time...

i just got back from watching Troy. i didn't even feel like watching it much so i guess my low expectations helped me enjoy the movie afterwards. i'm not really a big fan of brad pitt either. i think he's totally overrated-of course my two roommates would think otherwise. i wouldn't say he's a terrible actor but i DEFINITELY would not say that he's underrated. if anything, Troy just helped me recognize why girls would lust after such a fellow. physically speaking, the guy is pretty dang flawless. on top of that, all of his movie roles give him that deceitful charm. but besides continuing to discourage Pitt (which i think i can do for some time), Troy was a fun movie to watch. like every other movie out there, every character needs Christ. w/o Christ, there is only sin and death. man, that one guy in the beginning was HUGE!

i was really really tired at church on sunday. waking up was difficult, staying awake during the sermon required alotta effort, and not peeping a word during bible study was a given. dormal was a money spender! dormal was a gas eater! dormal was a time stealer! dormal was...


really fun.

for the past two weeks, those stupid la girls would ask me almost everyday if i was excited to go to dormal. i think the best and honest answer to their question was that i wasn't as excited as THEY were. =D but kind of like watching Troy, it only made my night that much more enjoyable. after prom, i never would have thought i'd go to another formal ever again. i was actually planning on going to my dormal last year with ccm freshmen but it didn't work out.

i thought it was kinda interesting how all the girls were la and all the guys were irvine. haha. joe calls it an "intermarriage." *barf* anyways, everything that night was great! esther (molester) park-i couldn't have asked for a better date. not only did i think she was the best dancer there but she was also the most encouraging. i promise you that we had the most fun out of everyone (i could just see it on everyone's face). =D

i think the only negative was that i got a $40 parking ticket at Island's. everyone told me the sign said No Parking MON-FRI. and none of the other cars got stupid $40 tickets! but esther and anna felt really bad so they actually helped pay for the ticket. fudge, girls can be so stubborn...and so kind. on the way back, i barely said a word in the car. when you haven't gotten much sleep from two nights before, deprived your sleep from a yg lockin the night before, did outreach with your eyes half-open, got through missions training only through drinking tterrehreh, and then danced for almost 3 hours straight, you're pretty tired. but like i told aaron when we got home, "i have no regrets going."

i took a 4 hour nap after church and i only woke up b/c i forced myself to. right now, it is 1:20am. i think i'm going to be up for a while.

Thought of the Day: Jjajang bap is my favorite at church.
Song of the Day: J-Kwon-Tipsy Youngbuck Mix

some people came over our place and were making alotta noise. i couldn't fall asleep so after they left, i told aaron about it since they were his friends. i was really upset and i told him how i couldn't even enjoy Pirates of the Carribean.

then ALOTTA things happened and it was just absolutely chaotic. but i only remember the last part pretty well. freakin' korean drama dude...literally. everyone came back together and i knew who liked who. i had told the rich guy that olivia had liked him. the gay guy had told me that he had liked the rich guy. when they all met, the rich guy started talking to olivia and she was really happy. the gay guy saw that and started hating olivia. oh yeah, the gay guy was like like this old bald guy with glasses...kinda looked like andrew kim's dad (not cpc andrew). it was the ending to a drama and i thought it was really weird. this was all happening as we were walking upstairs somewhere. danny was there but i can't remember why. i remember my adult student being there too...like a junkie version of him.

dream's over, dorothy...

i really hate it when people try to make you feel bad intentionally in the inside but unintentionally on the outside. they'll talk about how you did something wrong "but it's ok." they'll keep talking about what you did wrong but always go back to "it's ok though." what the fudge is the point of telling me all of this?! they want to make sure that you know just exactly how unhappy they are and still look like they're gracious and forgiving and patient and loving. it REALLY pisses me off.

i've had an incredibly crappy week. i had midterms to take, papers to do, and books to read. i got midterms back, didn't finish one paper, and the books took forever. the past 2-3 days have been tossing in my sleep. i'm tired-really really tired and i can't fall asleep. devotionals have been a drag since my heart has been in the wrong places this whole week. this week was really discouraging...and so i wonder-what does this weekend have in store for me?

lakers = the luckiest crap!

Thought of the Day: Sour.
Song of the Day: As One-Day By Day Pop Mix

Isaiah 1:16-17-wash and make yourselves clean. take your evil deeds out of my sight! stop doing wrong, learn to do right!

2:17-18-the arrogance of man will be brought low and the pride of men humbled; the Lord alone with be exalted in that day, and the idols will totally disappear.

Thought of the Day: Ms. Pacman and Resident Evil cause sensation.
Song of the Day: Cool-Fate

laugh hard!


Thought of the Day: Joey is my favorite character.
Song of the Day: Korean Summer Mix-Track 02

Pretzelboi96 (11:32:06 PM): i just made a big decision
Pretzelboi96 (11:32:11 PM): i had to tell everyone online
kiMcHeeeeEe (11:32:15 PM): Hehe
kiMcHeeeeEe (11:32:19 PM): What is your goal?
Pretzelboi96 (11:32:58 PM): it's for health
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:02 PM): not appearance
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:07 PM): i tried working out for appearance
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:10 PM): i saw no progress
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:13 PM): i got discouraged
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:16 PM): so i stopped
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:24 PM): but i feel really unheatlhy these days
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:33 PM): so i'm going to change my reasons for exercising
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:36 PM): thus, health!
kiMcHeeeeEe (11:33:38 PM): :D

Thought of the Day: Busy week.
Song of the Day: Michael Jackson-Billy Jean

i signed off aim and just finished brushing my teeth, getting ready for bed. and then it occurred to me what i had wanted to blog about earlier this morning. last night, i dreamt of dinko but i don't remember anything that happened. the only thing i do remember was learning that his name was supposed to be spelled, "DINCO." it's stupid when i think about it now but it made perfect sense in the dream.

i also remember a dream i had exactly one week ago. i remember this dream b/c it was so vivid! i was playing hold'em, 1 on 1, at this casino table with this really hot white blonde girl. she was wearing this really scandalous red dress and she was really nice. as we were playing, i was evangelizing to her and she was actually open to what i had to say. she was very receptive to my words and i was very encouraged. then *POOF!* stupid ken called me and asked if he could get a ride to clusters. man, i never dream of really hot white blonde girls.

i think it's really weird how these past few weeks have been full of references to simulacra/simulation from my film class. for all of you ignorants, i'm talking about how we know what is real and what is not real. it's kinda like The Matrix where you're not sure who or what you are. for all you know, you could be this programmed robot that thinks/looks/acts like a human. how do you know your memories are real and genuine? how do you know if they're not just implanted? this kinda theme has been coming up ever since i learned about simularcra in my film class. first, The Matrix. then Blade Runner. then my book, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? and finally, the anime i'm currently watching, Full Metal Alchemist. of course, our only standard for truth is God's Word. apart from God, nothing can exist. but i must say, i think i finally REALLY understand The Matrix.

it's been really hot these days. irvine's supposed to be one of the cooler parts of so. cal too! life must be tough for cerritos, la, and RIVERSIDE! but as i always love to share, i absolutely enjoy these hot sunny days. like my brother and i always talk about..."it's all about the LA SUMMER NIGHTS!" to be able to go outside in your t-shirt and shorts at midnight w/o a hint of displeasure, man you so. cal people really take this crap for granted. i mean, i'm sure there's a few of you guys who enjoy it too but you seriously just don't appreciate as much as you ought to. it makes me angry sometimes. but then, i just open my window, let the nice breeze cool me off, and i'm back to smiling. =D

i have/had a Barnabas in my life. it's really hard to love him. everyday, i realize how sinful i am. my heart lacks so much love. often times, i forget that God has placed him in my life for a reason and i've been placed in his life for a reason. with so much sin, there is so much more grace. it's brilliantly profound when you think about it. i'm not encouraging abuse. i'm encouraging humility. my thoughts jump all over the place. the hands that type these words cannot keep up with the pace of my mind. i always say this crap. God is good. but this crap will never become redundant.

you know what's been helping me sing during praise time at church? as i am singing the words, i imagine myself in heaven singing the same song along with the rest of the elect. i forget how John describes the deluge of people but dude...it's a GRIP! when i imagine myself singing and praising along with everyone else, i can't help but think that i am genuinely worshipping God b/c that's what heaven will be like. we'll be in our perfect and glorified bodies worshipping our perfect God. it will be glorious! even with my imperfect and sinful mind, just the glimpse of being able to do that really encourages me and keeps me focused during praise. i don't know if it's an incorrect attitude or perspective but try it out next time. it works for me.

Thought of the Day: Hawaiian shirt has no regrets.
Song of the Day: That stupid Chungook slow song.

(watching Chungook)...

me: dude, yuri's so cute!
(kwon sang woo appears).
danny: he's cute.

Thought of the Day: Shilmido was a really good movie.
Song of the Day: Turbo Megamix

i started watching Stairway to Heaven two nights ago. i was supposed to sleep an hour ago. danny boy is hooked and didn't want to stop after the third episode...

danny: i already decided not to go to class tomorrow!

a bastard is my roommate. now i'm only stuck with about 4 hours of sleep for tomorrow.


i like dinko b/c he encourages me whenever i talk to him. but i like God more.

Thought of the Day: God's Word rebukes us.
Song of the Day: That stupid drum song from the drama.

here's an unexpected email that i got from a friend in korea that i met two years ago...


hi ~gyung won! it's song ih~!

how are you doing? Your news it is anxious during that time plentifully..

The American weather is how? Korea comes to be hot plentifully,Complete summer Oh! You the health trembles U?There isn't a sick place?Your university it is coming and going? It comes and goes to the university.

And...Architecture subject 1 grade~^^

oops~! i'm sorry ...As you may know. I am not so good at English.

I hope you`ll overlook my mistakes in my letter, if any.
um..gyung won! i passed my driver's test! ^^

i was very nervous and worried, butI did good.hehe!^^

The examination which spreads out when Oh!?

Me from today midterm examinations. It is many to study...

When it comes to Korea?Summer vacation time it comes?

It will come certainly to Korea and. I missing you~

Here I stop writing, because I have to study...(but i feel sleepy..zzz)

And..i hope our deep friendship will last forever...^^*


you light up my life~~~~~��


i hope i can go to korea this summer. =D

Thought of the Day: Simulacra sucks!
Song of the Day: CIIK-Once In A

i loved preschool.
i loved kindergarten.
i loved grades 1-4.
once i hit 5th grade, i started getting C's on my report card and i actually had to start thinking and learning for myself.
i didn't like grades 5-6.
i HATED grades 9-12.

so here i am, a college student in his second year. just like high school, i dread waking up and GOING to class. in fact, every monday, wednesday, and friday morning i have this 5 min. debate with myself on whether or not i should drop my bio class. haha. i have very hateful thoughts of school when i wake up every morning (9:00 classes blow!). even the thoughts of writing papers and reading neverending articles really pisses me off. fudge, don't even get me started on studying for midterms and finals. anyways, i had a point with all of this griping. i, Philip Chung, have learned to really appreciate school in my college years. i LOVE how i learn so much in my different lectures and even from doing my hw. to see how God works in all of the things that we learn really helps me in this educational process too. but even aside from that, i wanted to share how despite how much i hate reading and going to class and taking notes and doing labs and...i love how i am forced to do such things. if i did not have ASSIGNED reading, i know that i would never discipline myself to read on my own to educate myself. if some of my classes did not make attendance part of my grade, i know that i would never discipline myself to go to class. if my classes did not have difficult midterms, i would never discipline myself to STUDY! even being forced to go to school, i know that i would never discipline myself to have a productive day due to excessive sleep. i did not intend my point to go so long and become this boring. i love school. praise God.

Thought of the Day: I got the right colors!
Song of the Day: Neil Diamond-Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon

my blog has just been full of 1 liners or a few sentences at most. what a tease.

this qtr. seems like it's going to be a really busy one. it turns out that i'm actually going to have to do all the reading for my film class and my soc. class has three different books. assigned reading for each of those books every week. on top of that, i got a new student to tutor...

(phone rings during lunch).
me: hello?
stranger: hi. can i ask you something? (terrible accent).
me: sorry, i'm really busy right now (assuming it was a telemarketer).
stranger: do you know won suk?
me: uh yes.
stranger: you tutor them english?
me: ......hangook saram eesehyoh?
stranger: OH! NEH NEH!!!
me: ooooooo.

so this guy who i thought would be about my dad's age turned out to be this young guy in his early thirties. he wants me to tutor him and his wife in english! "WHAT?!" right? no writing. just speaking straight up: grammar, courtesy, slang...all that good stuff. he wanted to meet for dinner so i went to his house that same night he called me. REALLY nice people! you know, the kind that say "thank you" 5 times in two sentences?
it was kinda cool cause i could tell they felt really comfortable with me being their tutor and all. i mean, they wanted me to give them their english names right there on the spot! since the guy's name was Jin Hee, i just told him to call himself Jin. however, his wife's name was Hye Rim. i tried to think of nice names that started with an H. she thought Helen sounded too old-fashioned so i figured she wanted something original. i guess those koreans are tired of having the typical korean-american name. *shrug* the only H name i could think of at the time was Harriet (and i don't even know any in real life or in fiction). haha. they both really liked it so i guess her name's Harriet now. hmmmm, now that i think about it, i think Heather would have been a good name too. oh well.

oh yeah, they found out about me through my other students. Harriet actually happens to be jordan's violin teacher. God knows that i have been wanting/needing at least one more student. God provides. God is good.

i've been playing alotta hold'em these days. i even bought some nice chips on ebay which i hope to receive tomorrow. man, i never knew i'd get so hooked on this game. i can definitely understand why albert quit/is taking a break from hold'em. i can definitely see the dangers of idolatry and greed in just playing an "innocent" game of poker. freakin' satan. he'll use ANYTHING to make you sin. i'm trying really hard to learn how to play the game with the right heart. if i fail to learn soon, i'll have to abstain from this liberty for a bit just like i did with blackjack.

i've been reading 1 Kings for my devotionals these days. i felt like this was one of those books that weren't so good for devotionals. perhaps i'm immature and i'm not just reading the book correctly. but today, i read about Solomon's fall b/c of his sinful relationships with his hundreds of wives and concubines. it hit me that just b/c you're the wisest and most knowledgeable person in the world doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to be the most obedient person. i mean, you figure that having wisdom means "knowing better" and to "know better" is to obey God. if anything, it only makes you a bigger fool to "know better" and to not live accordingly. well it just so happens that i feel like King Solomon these days. i really do "know better" yet i live like i don't. while i'm out there judging the whole world, here i am pointing two fingers back at myself. funny how the wisest king to ever live was no better than me. we both need Christ.

and finally, my last piece of update. i finally got justin's belated bday gift to me a few days ago. Bose computer speakers. i never thought it'd come but it finally came...unexpectedly too. thank you for the new speakers, my friend. i am putting them to good use (ebay). lol. just kidding.

Thought of the Day: Spanish is so hard!
Song of the Day: Your Great Renown

BIBLICAL SUPPORT FOR ARMINIANISM!


Thought of the Day: Japanese Fatheads!
Song of the Day: Untitle-Give Me Responsibility

i went to my first Angels game today. Seattle lost by 1 in the 9th inning. bummer. today was Free Hat Day.

Thought of the Day: So young.
Song of the Day: Ref-What Are You

every sunday should be like today's Easter Sunday. we should always be celebrating and having great fellowship within the church. every sunday.

Thought of the Day: Cocaine's one helluva drug.
Song of the Day: Cool-Beach's Woman

"thank you so much!" said crawford.

"man, i want to blog..." said phil.

it's past my bedtime, i should be doing the reading i barely even started today, i haven't brushed my teeth, and i haven't changed into my pjs yet either. i actually have this urge to blog right now. i never put crap off just to blog. no wait, that was a lie.

i just came back from watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. after seeing the preview, i had already made up my mind that this movie was going to suck. i strongly felt that Jim Carrey was destined for comedy and comedy alone. and besides, the plot looked too messy and complicated and kind of typical and i didn't like any of the other actors/actresses. *shrug* jane yu told me to watch it while we stopped for McDonald's on the way up north. and just like everyone said, it was a good movie.

as i was watching the movie, i realized the people who made this movie purposely put and emphasized many scenes that concentrated on the "simple pleasures of life." almost instantaneously, i thought of Amelie. people like to be reminded of things that we take for granted. it like keeps us in check and stuff and encourages us to, you know, not take things for granted. but as i was thinking about it more, i was reminded that all of these pleasures come from God. our awesome creator made everything GOOD. when we see or hear the word, "pleasure," we usually think of food, sleep, sex, people, fun, food, sleep, etc.. but i find it amazing how there are SO many small things that are so pleasureable. ok phil, you already said that...what are trying to get at? well, after watching this movie and thinking about not taking alotta things for granted (such as your memories), i am once again reminded of how awesome and gracious our Lord is. even with a secular movie, i can still praise God.

Clementine needs Christ. so does Joel.

hmmm, i was going to blog about how i hate "very emotional" people and my weekend with chang and the gang (that rhymes), but my urge to blog has ceased. oh yeah, my weird dreams have ceased too!

Thought of the Day: I am so sinful.
Song of the Day: Mozart Piano Sonatas

Thought of the Day: "Sand is overrated. They're just tiny rocks."
Song of the Day: Mercy Me-I Can Only Imagine

i wrote about two different dreams that i had today. i briefly wrote about my ride down with jess and crawford. however, i wrote a GRIP about my position on the theology of the creation of sin. 2 hours spent writing this crap. this was my second attempt to rewrite this entry as a result of a previous blackout earlier during the day. *sigh* who would've thought that there'd be a second blackout. i can think of a few reasons why God might not have allowed me to post my entry...

1. i still need to finish the third part of the debate, God Sovereignty.
2. i still need to read Sproul's chapter, Who Dunit?, in his book Almighty Over All.
3. people aren't ready to hear what i have to say just yet.

angry i was. "WHY GOD?!" i questioned. i can only tell myself that God is sovereign. Job 40:5-I spoke once, but I have no answer-twice, but I will say no more.

Thought of the Day: Cake is too sweet.
Song of the Day: Notorious BIG-Big Poppa

a very INTERESTING way to start off 20...

all the irvine guys and i were in korea. we were in this program with all these fobs and they were making us participate in this eating activity. basically, you paired up with a fob and you took turns feeding each other this very interesting korean dish (like this red mandoo thing wrapped in this spicy thing). it makes me sad that this dish does not exist in real life cause it was DANG GOOD! anyways, my partner and i were having some communication problems. there was even this book that explained how to wrap it and everything but i just couldn't get it. so everyone was being pretty successful except for us. i asked my cousin to help me out but he just gave me his I Don't Know and continued feeding his partner. pissed off i was! i left the stupid activity and found eugene doing a really good job with his partner. haha. chris was lying down next to him, giggling as he was red drunk...

me: dude, how do you wrap that thing?
eugene: it's easy man!

yeah, what a way to encourage.

jay and i had to get something for danny's bday so we had to buy something for him last minute. i remember him telling me to go to Albertson's while he went somewhere else. i got out of his red car (the same car that Frank had (from Old School)) and ran inside. we ended up getting him a Get Backers board game and headed back to my new 2 bed 2 bath apt. that i shared with him. as always, he was very lonely and bored so he was pretty happy to see us.

finally, i was playing hold'em with about 5 strangers and danny. man, first hand i had pocket jacks!!! i bet half my chips ($5) on the preflop and everyone played!

flop: J A (and some random card)

i go all in.

everyone folds except this guy sitting right next to me.
calls.
we flip our cards.
me: (pocket jacks disappear?!)
stranger: A and some random card.
*people OOOOOO-ing for me*

turn: random card.

river: A!

dude, i know that freakin' bastard switched my cards or something.

next game...

me: pocket jacks again!!!

all in.

everyone calls!

everyone flips:

*people OOOOOO-ing for me* again

different stranger has pocket 6's.

flop: J 6 and some random card.

turn: A

river: 6

oh my. 4 of a kind.

Thought of the Day: It's my birthday and I can cry if I want to.
Song of the Day: Dishwalla-Angels and Devils

this is my first time having a sore butt. i don't even know how i worked the muscle. it feels kinda good though.

chang made me an awesome burger today....

me: what are we eating today?
chang: something meaty.

lol.

finally watched Amadeus. Mozart is the man!

Thought of the Day: Burgers burned in charcoal.
Song of the Day: M-flo-Miss You

Fatboy Slim-Tequila Remix playing. you know what that means...FINALS ARE FINISHED!!!

math final: i think i got 8/10 problems correct.

film final: good and bad. good b/c i studied the right terms. bad b/c...

*finished first essay question*.
(looks at second question).
(rereads the question).
(rereads the question).
*shakes head*
*turns in test and exits lecture hall*

if i fail this class, i'm going to be SO unhappy!

bio final: =D

korean final: =D

i got a new phone 2 days ago. i haven't had a new phone in a pretty long time. it's weird going back to a flip phone. you have to like open/close it and stuff. but i'm pretty content with it. onechuel started working at this phone store in irvine so he hooked me up pretty well. all verizon carriers can now talk with me free! (except for you, crawford). but more than being happy with my phone, i like my ringtone the best! $1.99 is so worth it! 949-322-0260. i wanna hear my phone ringtone!

stealing from chang:

LOL! Arminian Grace

Arminian grace! How strange the sound
Salvation hinged on ME
I once was lost then turned around
Was blind then chose to see

What "grace" is it that calls for choice
Out of some good within?
The part that willed to heed God's voice
Proved stronger than my sin

Through many ardent gospel pleas
I sat with heart of stone
But then some hidden good in me
Propelled me toward my home

When we've been there ten thousand years
Because of what we've done
We've no less days to sing our praise
Than when we first begun

- Dennis Walter Cochran

Thought of the Day: Finished!!!
Song of the Day: Fatboy Slim-Tequila Remix (obviously)

i finally found out that why my car was reeking of gasoline. remember my pleasant experience with my car running out of gas during thanksgiving break? well, a months after that, i decided to keep an emergency tank of gas in my trunk cause you know...just in case! unfortunately, what was supposed to be tightly sealed container happened to conveniently open up just enough to maliciously contaminate my whole trunk. i tried "shampooing" my trunk last night and i think it's getting a little better. chris said it would take about a week for the brain-killing odor to become no more. i don't know, i think i either lost or retarded my sense of smell. the drive up north is going to be an unhealthy one.

kevin's been over at our place this whole week. we've been playing lots of hold'em in my room every single night. i also started downloading the World Series of Poker 2003 and been watching those. man, just watching those guys is SO intense! i find it so interesting how all of the players have such different backgrounds. you got your cowboy accents, the cocky vietnamise smiles, sunglasses in various shapes and sizes, and of course, kids who have barely finished college all the way to geezers who look lost half the time. i'm so glad i learned how to play hold'em this year.

finals has arrived once again. you know what that means...MARATHON IN IRVINE!!! i'm almost done with the movie downloads so all i need is the company and click goes the Play button. haha i can already hear LA cussing.

Thought of the Day: ALL IN!
Song of the Day: M-flo & Boa-Love Bug Big Bug NYC Mix

i took april to go watch a movie at night. on the way there, everyone started crowding around my car. i got out of my car and saw that i had a flat tire. then my car started smoking up everywhere and my mom appeared out of no where! she started lecturing me about taking care of my car and made such a big fuss out of a stupid flat tire. haha. ironically, it happened to be the front right tire, which was the same tire that Kevin thought looked a little flat. anyways, my mom's behavior becomes so inappropriate that i drag her away from everyone to a nearby outdoor restaurant. i remember she was wearing alotta make up and this nice looking blue dress. MORE LECTURING!!! i couldn't take it anymore and i just blew up on her. i hadn't fought with her in a long time but this was just retarded. man, i was so emotional and caught up in my words that even my korean sounded perfect. she started crying and apologizing her and i just bounced. freakin' hate her!

dream #2...

i became one of the Olsen twins (i don't know which one). but we were on this obstacle course of some sort that was crazy dangerous. all i remember was swimming through random tunnels and always bumping into my sister. it all came down to this last obstacle where i was supposed to climb down this ladder that was a good 100 ft. high. but the tricky thing was that i had these giant pliers to prevent me from slipping. those stupid things were useless b/c the only thing they really did was cause me to slip! the announcer guy kept acting all gay and laughed at our cute attitudes. funny how i can still remember wearing a white bathing suit. anyways, i slid down the ladder pole which happened to be real fun and safely made it down. i was a very angry twin with an annoying little sister.

weird dreams. this is my first time that i've dreamt that i was a girl. i think another weird dream i had on sat. was being really good buddies with Greg Bahnsen. he actually happened to look like Dr. Johnson (from Westminster (of the speakers at One Voice)) and even had his voice. but yeah, we were like tight and i was so happy and proud.

i don't find pleasure in writing much about my days these days even though i feel that they're eventful. as of late, i think i just like to reflect...i think i'm getting old.

my brother turns 15 today. man, i hated that age. that was the age where i fought with my mom the most! i think we literally fought at least once a week. a bastard i was to my mother (shaking head). i remember being so lost with friends too. i had no idea who i was. i didn't know where i fitted in. i was incredibly socially awkward. i was just hating it. so with that said, Happy Birthday, Simon!

haha just kidding. 15 also had its blessings. that was the age when i slowly felt more accepted in yg. that was the age i first liked someone beyond a crush. the first time experiencing heartache is definitely a killer. 15 was when i played basketball regularly after school. =D memorable times.

jpop is fading and korean's coming back. it's all about old school nostalgia.

Thought of the Day: Happy Birthday, Simon.
Song of the Day: Cool-Before I Become Sad Remix

Thought of the Day: We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz.
Song of the Day: Diva-Hey Boy

running-day #2. today, my 2 mile time was 19:38. such a terrible reality. that is why i've concluded that i ran an extra lap today. my real time should be in the 18's. =D anyways, as i was running today i started to think about my high school x-country years. my friend, wesley chan, was really fast and always seemed to improve every time he raced. but i remember this one particular time when i was waiting at the finish line to cheer on the first runners from our team to come in. wesley ran really fast that day and actually came in second place! but after he finished, he collapsed and threw up! freakin' incredible huh?
note: x-country runners who throw up after they run means that they ran to their body's full potential.
i thought and thought about it and realized that he seriously put his body to the MAX! he gave it his all and he had done so well.
as i was running today, i thought about the analogy of our chistian lives being like a long race. i think alot of us run the way i run when i run at the arc-pacing yourself well in the beginning and slowly degenerating with every lap. =D i mean in a race, you definitely have your ups and downs throughout the event. but what counts is that you gave it your best. i think the same thing should go for lives as christians. my encouragement to everyone is not run like out-of-shape phil, but rather run like i-am-so-going-to-throw-up-after-this wesley. Philippians 4:14-I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me hevaenward in Christ Jesus.

i had another one of those days where i felt really proud to be a student at UC Irvine. as i was walking to my film studies class, i seriously had the best view of my beautiful campus. my school has the greenest grass, the warmest sun, the nicest breeze, and the most appealing buildings. i remembered that debate justin had with dave and john chi about choosing Irvine or Davis for college. lol. today was another one of those days where i was glad i listened to dave and john chi. "this is irvine. this is riverside. this is davis." lol.

i'm also really glad that it's march. i freakin' hate februaries cause it's the worst month of the year!

feb.
1. middle of winter qtr.
2. crappiest cold, rainy weather.
3. women's banquet.
4. Valentine's Day.
5. SO busy!

i cannot wait til spring break!

Thought of the Day: Why am i coughing so much?
Song of the Day: Lim Chang Jung-Gone With The Wind

i got a $56 parking ticket today. cited at 1:24am...in the freakin' rain. i always knew it was wrong but i always got away with parking on the red. i hate parking at Park West. it shouldn't even be called "Park West." it should be called "Our Parking Freakin' Sucks So Don't Live Here Apartments." i can always ease myself with a little optimistic thinking: well, at least i didn't get a speeding ticket or anything. at least i didn't get my car towed. at least i didn't have to pay ANYTHING over $56. well, all i can think of is two words: BUT STILL!!! ticket is a ticket and sucks is a sucks. $56 could have bought me 4 dongchimees! that's four separate euphoric experiences that just got stolen by the Irvine Parking Administration. if God wills for me to renounce my faith sometime in my life, i'm going to burn the police department down...AFTER i get my $56 back!

i started running again today. the first day is always the WORST. i finished 2 miles in 18 min. today. i think i skipped a lap or two cause there was no way i could've finished 2 miles with the fatigue i was running at. i don't like it when i'm running and people look at my face. they know just as much as i know that i'm hating it so much. sometimes i see girls laughing too. i wonder if they're laughing at me.

Thought of the Day: I want the permit for the rest of the school year.
Song of the Day: Wild Cherry-Play That Funky Music

i don't like the black part in bananas. it's moist, soft, and uncomfortably sweet. i hate how 80% of the banana will be yellow and white, but the remaining 20% will be black. you've enjoyed a very good portion of it up until the last bite. the last bite is the most important part b/c it completes the activity. everything needs good closure. if the plot was incredible throughout the whole movie but the ending got cut off, you're pretty much going to feel dissatisfied with the whole thing. when you're eating your in n' out burger and you're down to your last bite, dropping that last bite onto the floor will only convince you that you're not comfortably full yet. you need closure with everything. i ate my last banana today. it had very bad closure.

Thought of the Day: "He descended into hell."
Song of the Day: Fastball-The Way

a few days ago on the phone...

mom: your father and i will be married for 24 years on tuesday.
me: 24 years?!
mom: well, minus 10.
me: hehe yeah.

i know my mom still has it tough not living with my dad for so long. man, i can't believe it's been 10 years since my dad went to korea while my mom stayed back here with me and simon. i remember the first few years without my dad. it was really hard not having a dad at first. but every year, i got more and more used to it. of course by now, my whole family can get by just fine w/o the dad in the house. i still disagree with my dad's decision to live and work in korea without his family. but i'm not writing this so that you'll pity me or my mom or even my brother. rather, i praise God that He has been so faithful to all of us even through the separation of our father. even though my mother did not have a husband by her side for the past decade, God has continually provided and blessed her in so many ways. if my dad had never gone to korea, i may have never moved to burlingame. if i had never moved to burlingame, i may have never gone to kcpc. i may not have never gone to mills. i may never have ended up at irvine. i may have never gone to cpc...the list goes on. God is sovereign. i praise Him for that.

Thought of the Day: Alice doesn't like anybody.
Song of the Day: Britney Spears-Toxic

whether one had a legit excuse or not, i pity those who did not attend the One Voice Conference. even though i liked last year's event very much, i enjoyed and appreciated this one so much more. the speakers were SO money! it amazes me to see how knowledgeable those pastors and teachers are. i remember waiting for the conference to start today in the afternoon. as i was waiting, i saw the speakers (pastors so-and-so and westminster deans and crap) just lounging to kill some time. man, i really wanted to introduce myself and talk to them, but to have such a preconceived knowledge that these guys were hardcore theologians ("big tymers" i call them) really intimidated me. man, just staring at them with my curious eyes like a shy little boy! haha. when i think about the amount of theology i know, i think of it as a great revelation in the form of grace. but to see how much THOSE fools know (no pun intended), THEY must be overwhelmed with so much more grace. i really do believe that the more you know and understand God's character, the more you will love Him.
favorite quote of the conference: "Praise God. Let's pray."-Pastor Steve Park

Thought of the Day: Soli Scriptura.
Song of the Day: M-flo & Crystal Kay-I Like It

i finally finished All About Eve on tues. and Hajime No Ippo today. i really liked both of them. i think hajime is one of the most inspirational and encouraging animes out there. whenever i go workout at the arc, i'm always thinking about ippo and how disciplined he was. he worked so hard with his puny body and character...and what do you know, he becomes Japan's Featherweight Champion. freak, his body is like so ripped too! it like gives me hope and crap. lol. whenever i run, i only hear that one song with the electic guitar in my head. there's no better song for working out.

i realized that i really dislike people who give me stupid excuses for the things they do or do not do. i would much rather hear a straight and real answer for their behavior. why is it that so many people try so hard to conceal their lazy, ignorant, or apathetic character? not that i'm not guilty of doing this myself. it just makes me angry when people bs right at my face. it insults me so bad. my hope is that God will show them this sham and freakin' BREAK them! =D just kidding. i'm such a sinner.

don't you hate it when you're encouraging or praying for someone and there's no sign of improvement or effort on their side? you feel like your efforts are wasted and you label them as a lost cause. so many times, i've stopped encouraging/praying for people b/c i was discouraged by the lack of any progress. whether it be asking people to read the Bible, to STUDY for once, or even trying to plug people into church, it's so hard to have a heart for those people when they just don't appreciate your efforts. so then, what are we supposed to do? do we continue to work out our lost causes or do we let go and let God? i think Paul set a very good example for what kind of attitudes we ought to have.

Phillippians 1:3-10-I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowdlege and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ.

man, Paul really loved the church of Phillipi. i think we ought to have attitudes similar to Paul's, constantly praying for those he loved and trusting that "God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. "

i found out today that my students that i tutor will only need me to come in twice a week. that means only $60 a week. especially since i'm saving up for missions, i'm reallly going to have to be wise with how i spend my money. i can't just buy stupid things on ebay or go out to eat with clusters anymore. despite my discouragmenet, i know that God is faithful. if He provides me with meals to eat everyday and a bed to sleep on every night, then surely He will continue to provide for my future needs.

Thought of the Day: I'm totally feeling Jpop music these days.
Song of the Day: Hamasaki Ayumi-Seasons Piano Mix

i think it's really funny how chang responded to my blog on gambling. i specifically remember as i was writing that night, i knew EXACTLY how chang was going to respond. i think i was just very careless with my words and pretty tired at the time. but the fact is, there is no excuse for presenting my ideas in such an unacceptable manner for it could cause harm to a large number of people. i'm glad that there are people like chang (pharisees) who can always correct me and REALLY make me think.

i finally confronted my roommate today. finally.

Thought of the Day: A very interesting day.
Song of the Day: M-flo-Loves Melody

another insomniac night...

after i woke up to a phone call, i knew i wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. i just kinda sat on my bed in the dark and began to reflect alot. i thought about the different things i could blog about but for some reason, i didn't feel like writing any of it. i just wanted to sit there and think. however, i really do feel that writing out your ideas really helps you to think more concretely and to express your thoughts better. you have a better idea of what you're really thinking inside too.

yesterday, i shot pool with jay at zotzone. i hadn't shot pool for a while so i thought it'd be fun playing with my discipler. man, what was supposed to be about 1 hour turned out to be 3. i lost count of how many times i had said, "alrite, let's play one more." it was really fun though. i think there are very few people who enjoy pool as much as i do. i feel like it's one of those games that are just so rewarding since it involves so much precision and skill...and when you have that precsion and skill, you definitely feel rewarded. =D just like the good ol' days. anyways, as we were playing i asked jay if he liked to gamble. he shared with me his thoughts on gambling and it really struck me when he said, "all i'm saying is, if you're playing 20 dollar blackjack hands, you'd better be willing to give that much for offering on Sundays." that gave me a new perspective on my personal position with gambling. jay may sound legalistic with his statement but i think his point was more focused on where your heart is and how we ought to be careful with how we choose to use our money. i guess we tend to brush gambling off more as a liberty than a danger. unfortunately, i think i had to learn the hard way this past year. i must agree with jay when he says, "everything is permissable but not beneficial. i think it does more harm than good."
note: when i say "gambling," i mean gambling in casinos.

today, we worked on the sisters apprecation nite at church. lately, i've just been thinking about the college group for next year. who're going to be our new officers? who the heck is going to take charge and lead our ministry? when i look at the college group right now, my heart fills with sorrow as i see a lack of leadership in our people. when i think about our seniors leaving after this year, i feel like the college group is going to go down the drain. that's right guys, it's time to leave cpc and find a new church! =D just kidding. i mean, i know that God uses the weak to do great things in this world. but gosh, i'm just so curious!

watching All About Eve...

ben: you know that kim so young girl? i freakin' want to kill her!

danny: gosh, i wish she'd grow some balls so i can kick them!

ben: you know that part when chae rim is trying to speak english? it makes me want to cuss!

i think it's more entertaining just talking about the drama than watching it. haha.

places i still need eat at:

1. Spaghetti Factory
2. Brazilian BBQ
3. Priscilla's restaurant

Thought of the Day: "Ehneh!"
Song of the Day: Jaci Velasquez-If This World

i just finished watching two episodes of Hajime No Ippo. hajime is a boxing anime that i've been watching since winter break now. i really enjoy it cause it gives losers like me a sense of hope and determination to...become buff? haha. it has some awesome characters (takamura) with some intense humor ("the ippo firework"). but as i've been watching this, i realize that ippo is never satisfied with where he's at. he's determined to become stronger and stronger even after he wins his tournaments. he wants to fight better people and really "learn what it means to be strong." even though i'm only on episode 44 out of 72, it hit me that ippo is never going to be satisfied. after he beats one guy, there'll always be someone stronger. after he beats that guy, there'll be another guy waiting for him again. it's ridiculous. i've concluded that ippo needs Christ. he can fight and win all he wants but he will never be content. his life has become boxing and it will continue to be with no complete satisfaction.

i'm also watching All About Eve with danny. this is a korean drama that april let me borrow so danny and i watch a couple every week. pretty dramatic and actually fun to watch. but even more so with this one, you can definitely see the need for Christ in every character's life. i think that's the constant thought i'm thinking of when i'm watching these dramas or anime. w/o Christ, your situations will only become worse. and if they get better, your happiness will be temporary. you have to constantly find some kind of meaning in your life. (Ecclesiastes 1:2-"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless."). i couldn't have said it better myself.

even with this knowledge that i have, i realize that i continue to fall into the same problem. my sinful nature desires to have that temporary pleasure that will result in emptiness. i cry out to God to forgive me everyday as i fall into the same sinfulness over and over again. the same cycle that the Israelites went through for hundreds and thousands of years. we learn. we sin. we learn. we sin. But...Romans 6:14-For sin shall not be your master, beacuse you are not under law, but under grace.
it always goes back to grace doesn't it?

movies that i still need to see:

1. Pretty Woman
2. Amadeus
3. Cocktail
4. Days of Thunder
5. Gone With the Wind
6. Citizen Kane
7. Tampopo
8. Donnie Brasco
9. Annie

oh yeah, i got a flat tire last night. i went to commons to go study and when i came back, my front left was flat. apparently, i had gone over a nail sometime that night. well, i think i know how to change my own tire now. another learning experience with the car.

Thought of the Day: Audience laughter is interesting.
Song of the Day: Chopin-Ballad In G Minor

me: hey, pay attention!
jordan: kay!
me: gay?! did you just say, "gay?"
jordan: no, i said o-KAAAAY!
me: oh.
jordan: wait, what's gay?
me: um....
jordan: oh, isn't michael jackson gay?
me: ahahhahahahahah.

Thought of the Day: Flat Tire.
Song of the Day: Chopin-Ballad In G Minor

on sat., i gave crawford one of my webwork math problems to do cause i was stuck. that girl tried and tried and just could not get it. she collasped at a (81/2)pie or (40.5)pie and gave up the struggle. "INCORRECT," it said. well i was stumbling over the problem today and came upon the same answer. i typed in 40.5(3.14). "CORRECT." silly me just realized that "pie" and "3.14" will give you totally different answers. danny told me that crawford was "seriously screaming" when she found out. scream louder, dear. i can't hear you over my laughter. =D

Thought of the Day: OLIGODENDROCITES MAKE MYELIN SHEATH IN THE CNS!!!
Song of the Day: FF X-To Zanarkand

wednesday:

me: anacondas are really big snakes! have you seen the movie?
dillon: no.
me: well, they're REALLY big! what if an anaconda came into your house and was right there in your living room?
dillon: i'd run to my room.
me: but what would you do? what if it comes in?
dillon: i'd wear all of my hockey gear and jump out the window!
me: WHAT?! you do know that this is a two story house right? why don't you just try and run out the front door? too scared?
dillon: yeah. i think if i jump out the window, there will be enough cushion from my hockey gear.

i swear this kid thinks he's SO smart! i'm going to bring me an anaconda one day and hide his hockey gear. =D

today: Jordan's Freewrite

Why I Hate Burritos

I hate burrito because it taste gross. It has weird bread with peanut and some grossy spicial soas. I hate it because it looks and taste grossly. I think nothing can make burritos better. That's how bad I feel about that stupid burritos. I wonder why Mexicans like those grossy burritoes.

i'll let you see the original on my wall. haha.

Thought of the Day: Over 20 dollar game!
Song of the Day: Nas-Sweet Dreams

in my math class, there's this girl that always sits in front of me. she's pretty cute with her nice hair and always dresses in an appealing manner. well, the first day i had lecture, she sat next to me and i thought it was aaron's friend, bora...but i thought she had just gotten alot prettier over break or something. i didn't want to chance it so i waited til class was over. as she was getting up to leave, i lightly called out her name. no response. i called out her name a little louder. no response. so i concluded that it wasn't bora at all. i was so happy i hadn't asked her if she was bora. *wipes sweat off brow*

anyways, day 2 comes along and this time she sits in front of me. day 3 comes along, same thing but THIS TIME, some dude sits next to her. during the lecture, he asks her a question about a problem and he introduces himself to her. they shake hands and i overhear that her name is jennifer. so i'm thinking, "well, they're probably never going to talk to each other again after today." *ahem* WRONG! that stupid loser with his stupid hat and his stupid sweater ends up sitting next to her every lecture and they're always conversing with each other! man, it just tears me up inside when i see her smile or laugh at his stupid comments. i mean dude, THAT COULD'VE BEEN ME! i could've been that stupid idiot with my stupid questions and my stupid jokes. she even offers him chips and stuff. *sulk*

i finally had the guts to ask jay to keep me accountable this quarter. i'm usually not the type to ask for accountability just cause i'm so used to doing it for others. i had this whole misconception that some people were just meant to keep others accountable (stupid ben). i realized that EVERYONE needs that somebody who can keep them in check and continually pray for and encourage them. i think the best example is a pastor. do you ever wonder who keeps your pastor in check? i think it's really sad how pastors are always neglected in terms of acccountability from the ministry that they're serving in. if anything, i think they need the MOST encouragement, just cause being a pastor can be a very difficult service. but yeah, i've gone off topic again...

i'm meeting with jay every week and we started to meet last week. i'm really glad that i have someone who can really relate to me in terms of personality, maturity, and knowledge. if there's ANYONE i could choose to share with, it would have to be with jay. even though i was really hesitant with asking him b/c of his busy academics and burdensome gf (yeah, Jess, that's you!), i think i finally came to a point where i was desperate. already just from our first meeting, i can tell that the times we meet will be blessed times. i'm not talking about that piece-of-crap accountability where you ask each other online how they're doing every week. i'm talking about being really intimate and transparent with your christian brother/sister, sharing your struggles and joys, growing in theology, and of course, praying for one another. if you don't have someone REALLY keeping you accountable, i exhort you to find someone quick. i really do believe that EVERYONE has time to keep someone accountable. there is no excuse.

when i go home from school, sometimes i'll take a right on Harvard so i can just go down Culver. dude, that freakin' signal is ALWAYS green when i'm approaching it. but as soon as i start speeding up when i'm about 15 feet away from the crosswalk, the thing turns yellow! it's as if the signal KNOWS that i'm coming and it's purposely turning red just so that i'll slam on my brakes at the last second. i hate that crap! when i look on Culver's side, i see a whole bunch of cars just waiting too. it's ridiculous. there's also this other street, Marquette. OH my! this crap does the same thing except it does it even when there's NO cars on the opposite street. so i wait at the red. i look at the signal. 1 min. passes. i look at the opposite signal. ok good, it's turning yellow...it's my turn to go soon. opposite signal turns red and my street signal turns green only the LEFT TURN?!!! and i'm telling you, there's NO cars on the Left Turn lane! this crap takes another min. too. (shaking head). i swear these signals have their own retarded personalities.

Thought of the Day: I hate my hair.
Song of the Day: Utada Hikaru-Distance M-flo Mix

you know for once, i actually miss home. i haven't felt this way since freshmen year's thanksgiving break. i think there's alotta factors to it:

1. i miss my hold'em players back at home.
2. i ask danny to play chess with me everyday and he always says no.
3. i'm finally sick of my own food.
4. i just need to step out of this apt. sometimes...if you know what i mean.

lately, just talking with my brother has shown me that he's grown up so much. it just hit me today that i could talk about so many things with him: theology and relationships and sin and family and money and school. i mean, he's still really young and everything but he's definitely pretty mature for his age. the things that he knows for a 14 year old...fudge. i would've never learned the things he knows today. i was one ignorant crap back in the day. i really had to EXPERIENCE everything on my own to really learn the ropes. man, this 2 year old who used to beat me up with his spiderman van toy now talks about the problems he sees in his yg. amazing.

Thought of the Day: So uncomfortably full.
Song of the Day: Mercy Me-Word Of God Speak

as i sit here at my desk and my mind goes to wander
as i sit here at my desk i cannot help but ponder.
i think about my life that is far from humble.
i think about what if people knew and how much they would stumble.
obedient chrisitan is what i am called to be
obedient christian is not what i see.
everyday, i realize that i am arrogant and proud,
everyday, my conscience screams aloud.
so many people i hate and judge
so many people i struggle to not hold a grudge.
i think i'm smarter, stronger, and better than all
i think i'm something that does not deserve to fall.
i envy, i curse, i always seem to lust
i feel so trapped in sin it almost feels unjust.
the idea of grace always seems to boggle my mind
the idea of my God always loving, forgiving, and kind.
i can go on and on about His wonderful grace.
i can go on and on about His love i daily deface.
sometimes i wish i could go to heaven and escape this life
sometimes i wish i didn't have to experience everything, even meeting my wife.
why can't Jesus come and take us home now?
why can't i see Him face to face so that i can worship and bow?
i am supposed to be patient and accept His perfect plan.
i am supposed to be one who lives and obeys the best that he can.
i hate the fact that i take delight in temporary pleasures.
i hate the fact that i'm just throwing away all of my heavenly treasures.
but i will live my utmost for His highest.
but i will live my undeterredness for his Holiness.

i finally finished The Purpose Driven Life. what was supposed to take 40 days ended up taking something like 40 weeks. but i started My Utmost For His Highest today. the first bit that i read today was just so good. this crap is so profound! well, my poem didn't exactly turn out the way i had hoped. but i just wanted to end it with what i read about today in my book.

Thought of the Day: So hard to love.
Song of the Day: Propose

zenia: GEUREH! let's play!

ahahahhahahahah.

Thought of the Day: *snap*
Song of the Day: Britney Spears-Toxic

i had one of those "THIS close to crapping in my pants" days today. i ate alotta food last night cause dr. kim took irvine to shik-do-rak for dinner. oh yeah, we definitely did well. sean-"they have NO idea!" haha. anyways, i was going to save it til this morning but i just couldn't hold it in last night. so i got out of bed, unloaded at 1am, and went back to bed. well, i was about to go work out today, but as soon as i made the decision, my stomach started working up again. after round 2, i went to go arc it. so i'm running and sweating and doing my thing...

incident 1: leg lifts.

me: (in my head). 23...24...one more! twenty...*conspicuous fart* five!

incident 2: weights.

me: are you using these?
guy: yeah.
me: oh ok. *silent fart* (3 seconds later, i KNOW everyone around me smelled THAT!)

incident 3: car.

so i'm driving like a madman cause i seriously felt like something was going to implode inside me. man, those 10 min. redlights and grandma drivers! *shaking fists* i didn't even bother to look for parking. i just parked at the first spot i saw (the towing area) and ran into the apt. shook my shoes off, dropped the keys, ripped my jacket off, and *MOOOOOOAN* man, you should've seen my face! a freakin' masterpiece filled with so much emotion mixed with pleasure and pain. eyes squinted, cheekbones raised, knees grasped by hands, and occasional turnings of the head. i couldn't believe how much came out of me! i haven't felt this much pain since high school...good ol' x-country days. lol. i was so grateful that my car did not get towed and that i even found a parking spot...far far away.

but dude, what's with my metabolism? that's three BIG times within 20 hours!

Neil Diamond is the man!

Thought of the Day: Pulp Fiction is my favorite movie.
Song of the Day: Neil Diamond-I Can See Clearly Now

i think God wants me to go on missions this summer. there have just been so many signs:

1. joey asks me what i'm doing this summer. i reply, "nothing."
2. i'm almost done with Purpose Driven Life. i've been reading about missions this and missions that.
3. p. dennis brings up "outreach" on fri.
4. kcm chapel. did i forget to mention the idea of MISSIONS?!

it's ridiculous i tell you. i really think this is the year for me to go...finally. ever since sunday, i've been praying about it every night. despite all of my physical/mental inabilities and financial obstacles, i think God is really tugging at my heart to go. i have to keep reminding myself that missions is a command and not a suggestion. yes, it is time.

i swear there are just not enough hours in a day. after i come home from school, i have work. after work, i have textbooks to read. after studying, i have a body to work out. after arc, there's no time for hold'em or a movie. this 9:00 morning class really kicks you in the balls. there's nothing i can do about it, but endure the pain and wait til it goes away...in 10 weeks. winter qtr. is supposed to be your toughest and busiest qtr and yeah, it is. but i know lots of people who have it harder than me. haha, it cracks me up when i hear their schedules or when i see their faces when they've just finished their last class for the day. i seriously have no right to complain...but i think it's ok to laugh at them. =D exhortation: 1 Cor. 10:31.

i finally bought Pulp Fiction dvd last night! Collector's Edition baby!

Thought of the Day: Really bad breath.
Song of the Day: The Lord is Gracious and Compassionate

i was reading my entry from last night and i thought it was really funny how my Thought of the Day happened to be, "If I do not love, I am nothing." my entry was talking about some random things that i love, but i never had intentions of making the entry go together with the Thought of the Day. the reason why i had the whole love thing was b/c lately, i've really been concentrating on 1 Corinthians 13 (the love passage). you know, i feel kinda stupid now for explaining all of that. anyways, i tried going to bed at 12 so that i could get enough sleep and be ready for my 9:00 class. man, i really wish i had more control over my body. i want to tell my body to sleep when iiiiii want it to sleep. i want it to be awake when iiiiii want it to be awake. imagine the convenience and efficiency! anyways, since i can't fall asleep and i wrote about all this crap that i love, i think it's only fair that i blog about some things that i hate.

do you know what i hate? i hate it when you're tired, like really drowsy but you cannot fall asleep. you toss and turn for hours until finally, your body gives in and you fall asleep! 2 seconds later, the alarm clock goes off and it's time for another wonderful day at school! i cannot recall all of the times that this has happened to me in high school but i do know that it has happened to me at least 10 times. that's just 10 times too many.

do you know what i hate? i hate it when i'm stuck at home with absolutely nothing to do. well actually, that is not a valid statement b/c there's always SOMETHING to do...but you know what i mean. you are indifferent to every book, channel, and song. your buddy list has idle screen names with away messages like "brb" or "I am away from the computer." you don't even know why you keep checking their profiles every 10 seconds. xangas have not been updated and there's no email to read. then later at night, you find out that everyone was hanging out w/o you. why didn't you call me? "uh, i don't know." is their best response. man, life is tough.

do you know what i hate? i hate it when i pick someone up and they take forever just to come out. lagger: noun. a person who has no respect for the person that is doing them a favor. but you see, there are different forms of laggers. you have your occasional laggers. they lag just like the others but they have their unintentional moments of punctuality. you have your regular laggers. these fellas will never let you down when it comes to lagging. there isn't a single time they have been on time for anything. that's right aaron, i'm talking about you! but you see, with these two forms you also have different specifics.
the apologetic lagger: they know they are late and they apologize every time they step into the car. they try to help you understand that they try really hard to be on time. this pisses me off so much that it's making me laugh right now. if i can be on time, YOU CAN BE ON TIME!
the apathetic lagger: yeah, they don't even bother to hurry towards the car and they comfortably slide in and greet their hello. there are no feelings of regret and they act as if they were punctual the whole time.
the defensive lagger: if you peep a suggestion about being on time, they'll speech on your impatience or even add a "you don't have to be so anal about it!" these little pricks, i mean laggers are the worst of them all. a very sinful and closeminded mentality they have. i personally do not think they deserve to live.
conclusion: lag with me and you die!

do you know what i hate? i hate it when you're running for exercise and your shoelaces get untied. you have to stop, bend down, tie your shoes as quickly as possible, and start up again. but when you start up again, your whole respiring routine is out of sync. your leg muscles feel like they've gained 5 pounds and irregular breathing is just asking for a cramp. it just totally ruins the workout and you don't feel completely satisfied when you are finished. always ALWAYS double knot your crap!

do you know what i hate? i hate it when i do embarrassing things with my nose or mouth. you know when you're sick and you have a runny nose, you constantly have to sniff up the goods every 5 seconds or so. but man, when you hear that funny comment or see that moron trip over, sometimes you accidently snort too hard and out comes a hanging foot of mucus, out for everyone to see. it's embarrassing for both sides, not just you right? but i also hate it when your mouth forgets to swallow that build up of saliva and you get so excited to say something that something undesired comes out first. sure it's a funny site to laugh at when you see others do it. but man, when the tables are turned, you're the one stuck with a wet sleeve and a stupid face. *slurp*

i'm getting kinda tired so i'll end with one more. do you know what i hate? i hate it when i'm peeing in a public bathroom and one of my immature friends walks in and pats me on the back while i'm trying to pee. the urine release ceases, you feel like you're about to explode, and your friend is standing there laughing his head off. you can't relax b/c the pain is so severe and discomforting. i'm sure you're laughing right now but it's no laughing manner when you're the victim. i'm so glad i'm not in high school anymore and that these things don't happen to me anymore. for you girls, just try to imagine someone shaking you while you're going pee. it hurts doesn't it?

Thought of the Day: The thought of sitting in lecture taking notes really SUCKS!
Song of the Day: WC-Bangin' Party

my blog is now officially two years old! i'm proud of myself for holding onto this blog for so long. these days, you see people starting and stopping over and over with so many blogs/xangas. converting to this. updating to that. oh the inconsistency of conforming. i applaud myself for staying true to myself and keeping a single journal for the past 731 days. it's really fun reading past entries from 1 and 2 years ago from the same day. really fun.

do you know what i love? i love taking really long dumps. don't you love it when you're in the bathroom for like 20 min. and the whole time, you're actually getting alot done on the toilet? i love the feeling when you're completely done. all that mess is out of your system and all of it came out solidly. a minimal number of broken pieces and a very clean wipe. as soon as you put your pants back on, you feel like you've lost 10 pounds. it's a very pleasureable feeling.

do you know what i love? i love it when i'm not exactly starving, but just hungry. the hunger where you feel it growing inside of you but it's nothing you feel you have to complain about. it's the kind of hunger that makes you tell your friends that you've just started to get hungry. i really like this kind of hungry b/c there is no shrinkage of the stomach and i personally believe that these are the times that one can eat the most. especially since the hunger is in the middle of growth, you can comfortably satisfy it...but for some reason, this kind of satisfaction is VERY pleasurable. i experienced this with Sergio's today. i wish i could use cuss words to express my feelings but we'll just leave it with "that was hella good!"

do you know what i love? i love the very moment when you walk out of the doors of your very last final for the quarter. the cage is finally open. the ball and chain are finally cut off. time to exit the airplane doors. you can finally kiss the sun and taste the freakin' rainbow! (you get the idea). the worries of grades and textbook answers disintegrate. time to burn the books and make plans for the break! i love that free feeling. i love the fact that i can experience it three times a year.

do you know what i love? i love the 5 seconds of relaxation that you have RIGHT before you fall asleep. you've had a long day (good or bad). there was not a single opportunity for you to rest your eyes until your final destination, your bed. when you crash, your body experiences that pleasure of rest that was lacking for the longest time. you brain recognizes the rare satisfaction and sends signals to your mouth to smile. you sigh and let your dreams take care of the rest. what a joy!

do you know what i love? i love it when i'm reading the Bible and i find THE PERFECT words to encourage and give me advice. when your life is in the pits and you read the words of God, there is just no better encouragement. the notion of grace is even more profound than your previous understanding of it. an incredible revelation and emotion is experienced. tears follow. then we pray thanks. God's word is good.

do you know what i love? i love it when i make my mom laugh. i believe that making our parents laugh is one of the most difficult obstacles that we face. often, they will not laugh when you're TRYING to make them laugh. however, it is ironically when we comment or respond in a natural and unintentional manner that we'll have a better chance at cracking a smile in their face. to hear your parents laugh is a rare, yet wonderful thing to experience. to be the cause of that laughter is an even greater experience.

do you know what i love? i love it when i find money on the ground... and i'm not talking about nickels or pennies. haha. but i think it's funny how finding a quarter can bring me so much more joy compared to finding a dime on the ground. when i was in 9th grade, i used to work at Wetzel's Pretzels and i would take the bus to and from work. one night as i was walking home, i saw a few bills rolled up on the ground. i just picked it up w/o checking to see how much, put it my pocket, and walked towards my garage area. there was someone far behind me but there was no one i could see who it might belong to. when i approached an area where there was no one around, i unrolled the bills and stared at my total. over $360. you know, people usually brag about how they found a dollar or even a 5 dollar bill on the ground! but bragging about finding over $360 just doesn't sound right, does it? i think this was the only time i didn't LOVE finding money on the ground.

do you know what i love? i love it when i shoot the basketball PERFECTLY and the ball goes in beautifully. SWISH! you know for certain that the ball is going to go in cause that release just felt too good. your form is perfect. your jump is perfect. your follow through is perfect. your result is perfect. i wish this would happen to me more often.

you're probably wondering why i wrote about these few things that i really love. yeah, i don't know either.

Thought of the Day: If I do not love, I am nothing.
Song of the Day: WC-Gangsta Nation

i had to wake up at 7 today b/c jordan's dad wanted me to be his translator for him in court. man, i was so pissed when they asked me to do it. two reasons...crappy korean and lack of sleep. i was THIS close to just flaking on them and turning my phone off. but when i found out that they got a misdemeanor for having an expired license (which actually came the next day), i felt really bad. they didn't understand anything the cop had told them and they didn't know how to present their case to the court either. i felt so bad for having such selfish and angry feelings towards them. i could only imagine how terrible it must be to be in THEIR shoes. the least i could've done was show up in court with them and merely translate to the best of my ability...and that i did. but dude, court is seriously not a fun place to be. just going through the whole court process takes SO long! they give you the crappiest times to go (8:15am) and there is a GRIP of people waiting with you. all you see is a flood of impatient mugs. really made me think twice about how i drive on the road out there.

lately, i've been realizing how i so do not have a heart for nonchristians. my desire to evangelize is so low and even with the few friends that do not believe in God, man i'm just so effortless. i don't put any energy into even hanging out with them. i feel like i'm the antithesis of justin when it comes to the friendships that i have. he surrounds himself with pagans while i surround myself with just cpc. it still hasn't hit me that God COMMANDS us to evangelize to the lost. Jesus always ate and spoke with unbelievers and Paul was always preaching to sinners. i really need to start making an effort this year. it was called the Great Commission, not Great Suggestion.

i only have a few days left til school starts again on friday. i've just been watching Propose with dykas and Hajime when i'm by myself. even though i appear to be just wasting my time, i'm really enjoying these last days of break. i find my days more relaxing than lazy. haha. man, i never realized HOW pretty kim hee sun was. i mean, yeah she's a big ball of makeup and surgery...but fudge, superficial can look SO pretty! =D yeah, it's nice staying home watching her.

Thought of the Day: Not Guilty.
Song of the Day: Simple Plan-Perfect

today was new year's so i went to my uncle's place for sehbeh. i really hate going to that place cause my aunts and uncles are really old and i can never pass their annual korean interrogation. but this year, i saw one of my nephews and nieces-nicholas and lauren...6 and 2 years old. lauren's really cute stuff and nicholas talks very comfortably to strangers for his age. it's weird seeing your nephews so big, all talking and crap, especially when the last time you saw them was when they were still crying about pee in their diapers. anyways, i was really saddened when i heard...

nicholas: i don't believe in God anymore.
me: oh why not?
nicholas: my parents believe in Budha. only grandma believes in God. i believed in God for 4 years and now i believe in Budha.
me: ...

at such a young age, they've already begun such a hopeless and sinful life w/o God. well, i shouldn't say "hopeless," but it's such a sad realization.

Thought of the Day: God is sovereign and gracious.
Song of the Day: Elvis Presley-A Little Less Conversation JXL Mix