psych. class...

(going over hemianopia).
student: yeah, so when i look at the sides of my eyes, sometimes i can see like these three dots. they're like around the blindspots but there's like three dots, you know? why is that?
professor: ...that would be due to much drug abuse.
class: ahahhahahahhah.

i took my education midterm on tuesday. i COMPLETELY forgot that we had a study guide that we could use so i only got to skim through my friend's notes 10 min. into the class. i felt like i had totally bombed that midterm so i was kinda bummed about that. then today in class, the teacher tells us how he was so surprised at this quarter's class cause the class average was a B+! so i'm feeling like a total idiot cause i was probably the only one who messed up the class average. turns out i ended up with a B+!!!



what a daymaker. a true account of God's mercy!

Thought of the Day: I've had a very long day.
Song of the Day: Kara-Jesus, Lover Of My Soul

AsianXboi56 (7:47:40 PM): i've tried alotta things
AsianXboi56 (7:47:45 PM): even just being straight up blunt
AsianXboi56 (7:47:47 PM): cause i was so mad
AsianXboi56 (7:47:48 PM): hahaha
AsianXboi56 (7:47:53 PM): "you will regret it in the end"
AsianXboi56 (7:47:57 PM): "in hell"
Pretzelboi96 (7:48:01 PM): ahhahahhahhah

hearing about my brother having Christian debates with his athiest friends reminds me of my senior year when i used to be really gung ho in "defending my faith." man, just seeing my brother, just a sophomore in high school already so passionate about theology and serving in church, really encourages me. i can really see God working in his life so much.

so here's the master plan...


Grace Kim (edu's sister)
age: 14
status: single
hobbies: playing volleyball and studying alot.
reformed level: one word. Theophilus.


Simon Chung
age: 15
status: single
hobbies: playing chess, basketball, piano, watching korean dramas, and pretending to study alot.
reformed level: high.

mission: hook up brother with edu's sister.

problems: 1. simon's reluctance. 2. edu's unconditional hatred for boys who associate with grace.

solutions: 1. coercion. 2. much prayer.


sure, simon may be no brad pitt. however, what used to be cute...



may not be so cute anymore...



until you just...




edu and i are going to be brothers!

Thought of the Day: Happy Birthday, Mom.
Song of the Day: Tony An-When You Can't Get Love It's More Beautiful

i got this in the mail today...

Finding a church at times can be awkward! Quite honestly that is more the church's fault than it is the one who's looking. Sometimes churches forget what it feels like to be new. At Creekside Christian Fellowship we thought of what it would be like to be looking for a church and what it is that people are looking for. Then we planned our church for you!

Thought a church should...

• Be more interested in what's on the inside that on the outside.
• Help people find out how to get more out of life than how to get beat up.
• Be understanding and not judgmental.
• Have cutting edge contemporary music that you can hear and feel.
• Have life application messges laced with humor and video illustrations.
• Have quality nursery, children and teen programs.

Sunday Mornings 8:15 am Traditional Service

9:45 am Contemporary Service with live band

11:15 am Contemporary Service with live band

what an attractive church. i was really thrown off by the "messages laced with humor and video illustrations." i was even more thrown off when i saw the Traditional Service vs. the "Contemporary Service with the live band." if you notice carefully, you won't see a single mention of God or Christ in this flyer.

coming from a reformed church, i have a hard time being understanding to seeker-sensitive churches. i mean, i know that God can even use churches like this but i question, how far do you go? how do you know when a church is compromising? how do you know if a church is "balanced?"

The front of the flyer says, "Just Imagine...a church designed to meet your needs". if church was meant to meet our needs, then Christ would never be worshipped.

yesterday's psych. lecture:

(professor shows visual perception with a picture).

professor: so as you can see, you'll either see the old woman or the young lady just from looking at the same picture.

student: wait, i think i see a third one!

professor: ...dude, are you on crack?

class: ahahahhahahahahha.

Thought of the Day: Fall.

Song of the Day: 2pac-Keep Ya Head Up

when i moved to Burlingame in 5th grade, i had a very difficult time making friends during the first few weeks of school. i had attended West Portal Lutheran (same school pastor went to!) for 4 years. going from this Christian private school full of chinese people to a dominantly white public school was some mean culture shock for me. the kids were so much badder and everybody wore brand name clothes...except for me.
i specifically remember nobody talking to me on the first day of school. i ate lunch by myself and felt so lonely that i couldn't wait for class to start again just so that i wouldn't be alone. but the most traumatic experience was working with my science group-Alex Myers, Jayce Basques, and Marcus Jaurning (?). oh my. these three white guys would purposely make feel me stupid by playing the repeat game and laughing at my "stupid questions." i never did a single thing to them. they disliked me from the beginning. i HATED them! i even remember one day where they made me so upset that when i got home, i couldn't do anything but cry shamelessly in front of my mom. but by God's grace, i met the two other korean guys in 5th grade, peter and bj. we became friends and started hanging out with the other asians...cause you know, we minorities have to stick together in this sick white world. =D just kidding.
my fondest memory of 5th grade was playing basketball during recess everyday. everybody would go straight to the courts and somebody would yell out, "International vs. America!" isn't that unbelievable? apparently, the "Amercians" didn't see us, asians, as people of this country. but i was too young and stupid to care about it at the time, and everybody would glady split up to their respective sides. we'd lose every game everyday. we tried so hard but those darn white people were so much better. BUT, there was this one day where kensuke was doing particularly well. i happened to be making most of my outside shots. peter was good as usual. and you know, we actually won that day! the Internationals rejoiced and the Americans were indignant. it was like an episode from Wonder Years!

right now, i'm taking an Asian American Psychology class and we're learning about acculturation. when i learn about different models and trends of Asian Americans in my lectures and readings, i'm filled with fascination as i fit more and more puzzle pieces together. it's crazy to reflect on my childhood and see all of the cultural conflict i went through. it's all finally starting to make sense! did you guys know that asians dislike making eye contact with other asians but tend to try harder with white people? (shaking head). freaking culture.

Thought of the Day: Seafood Pasta.
Song of the Day: 2pac-Toss It Up

i was studying for my psych midterm and i came upon this slide...



apparently, this was the lecture i had fallen asleep in and i couldn't recall seeing this slide. i laughed pretty hard at the "Awesome sideburns" part. well, back to studying.

something funny:

after clusters...

me: there were two people in my hall who dropped out after freshmen year.
chris: the gay guy in our hall dropped out.
eugene: all the gay people live in mesa.
ken: hey! i live in mesa!
(eugene and chris nod).
me: ahahhahahahhaha.

something serious:

i've talked to a lot of people who have/had many problems in their life. many of them have told me that their problems only get worse and worse as time goes on. they pray and they pray but they see little or no improvement. even though i usually cannot empathize to their level, i really feel for them and obviously want to give them whatever encouragement i can give. i usually say something like, "i know it's really hard. i can't fully understand what you're going through but you just have to trust that God is sovereign. you should read Job." or something like that. alot of times, i feel like a fool for telling them something that they already know. i obviously want to tell them something original and profound-something "really encouraging!"
like in many of his psalms, David praises God for His faithfulness in Psalm 18. it just hit me that David was a man who always seemed to suffer more and more (kind of like the many people who have shared with me). i mean, Saul tried to kill him. even his very own son tried to kill him! David was always on the move, running away from danger. but psalm after psalm, he never fails to give thanks and praise to God.
today, i was thinking about David's life and why God put him through so much drama. there was so much hardship and trouble-so many years of war and bloodshed and fleeing from his enemies. God, why did you put David through so much in his life?!
answer: so that He could show His faithfulness.
my brothers and sisters in Christ, perhaps that is the answer to many of our most difficult and discouraging times. praise be to God for that.

Thought of the Day: Do not be yoked with unbelievers.
Song of the Day: Beethoven-Moonlight Sonata 3rd Movement

from zenia's xanga:

Eugene says, �Hey Susan, do your dance� and then Susan (my small group leader) does this crazy little clickety skipping dance that makes her look like a horse! I wish I could imitate it and show you, but it�s too hard!
Eugene: �oh you know like the half man/half horse? What�s it called?�
Me (totally confident): �Oh! A CENTURION!�
E: �No! That�s like a Roman commander.�
Me: �WHAT!?!?! NONO! Centurion..half man/half horse! Like in the Bible!!�
E: �Don�t you read your Bible!? That is not what a Centurion is.�
So you know that story in the Bible about the Centurion when Jesus says he has not seen such faith? I literally thought this WHOLE TIME that a centurion was a half horse/half man and the reason for him having such great faith was BECAUSE he wasn�t human, but half horse. I thought half man/half horse creatures existed in the time of Jesus.

from our conversation:

t22n22z33n33 (12:03:07 AM): COME ON!!
t22n22z33n33 (12:03:10 AM): half man half horse!
t22n22z33n33 (12:03:18 AM): i even always pictured it in my head whenever i read that specific story
Pretzelboi96 (12:03:30 AM): i really am speechless
Pretzelboi96 (12:03:41 AM): i don't understand how you can believe such a thing
t22n22z33n33 (12:04:47 AM): b/c like..it's Jesus!
t22n22z33n33 (12:04:51 AM): in the time of Jesus!
t22n22z33n33 (12:05:04 AM): half man/half horse centurions roamed the earth!
Pretzelboi96 (12:05:05 AM): hahahahahahaha
t22n22z33n33 (12:05:11 AM): and Jesus liked them for having such great faith!
Pretzelboi96 (12:05:42 AM): i think it's even funnier how you're still trying to convince me
t22n22z33n33 (12:05:57 AM): no, like, really!! i'm not kidding
Pretzelboi96 (12:06:07 AM): neither am i!
t22n22z33n33 (12:06:10 AM): when he told me it was some roman gurad or captain or whatever i was like outraged!
t22n22z33n33 (12:06:21 AM): i was like "EUGENE!!!! CENTURION!! LIKE IN THE BIBLE!!"
t22n22z33n33 (12:06:26 AM): and i emphasized "BIBLE!"
t22n22z33n33 (12:06:31 AM): like "hello how could you NOT know that?!"

i don't think zenia should ever become a Bible study teacher.


for the past 2 months now, i've been watching this anime called Azumanga. today, in episode 17 they were talking about x-mas and santa claus and reindeers. as i was watching that episode, i started getting goosebumps just thinking about x-mas coming up. even with today's change in weather with the rain, it hit me that winter is coming up pretty soon. i really like x-mas time with the winter break, wearing warm sweaters, shopping for gifts, spending time with the family, and even listening to those gay x-mas songs.



i think my most memorable x-mas time was when i was in the dorms. really really good times with shopping for gifts with bunz in Tustin, exchanging gifts during Finals week, and playing cards in the hall instead of studying. man, i thank God for those memories...i'll never have anything like that again. even though i know that christmas is actually about celebrating the birth of Christ, i can't help but enjoy the secular aspect of the holiday as well. i really can't wait!

Thought of the Day: Emotions make a man a woman.
Song of the Day: Mercy Me-Fall Down

i come back to the apt. for some lunch...

me: EUGENE! don't you have class?!
eugene: (wakes up and looks around). THE HELL?!

eating lunch...

eugene: F! i missed my quiz! this calls for a TTIRA...
me: chore. ahahahahhahaha.
eugene: just for that, i'm not going out tonight. i'm going to study as punishment.

lol. to study = to punish.

Thought of the Day: "Idle Hands" comes from the Alien Hand.
Song of the Day: Chris Tomlin-How Great Is Our God

last night, chris and i went to go visit each and every irvine freshmen to say wassup and advertise Cafe Nite in their dorms. hitting up the dorm people was pretty discouraging with a 100% reluctance rate from the students. after attempting three dorms, we picked up michelle and went around campus putting up flyers late at night. man, i was SO tired when i woke up this morning. i mean, i was pretty drowsy during my first two classes but going to my third class was just a lost cause. if you look at my notebook, it says:

10/12 -History: Localization of Function



aaaaand that's about it. freak. i wrote the title of today's lecture and fell asleep. i even decided to sit up close today in the second row! i NEVER sit that close to the front. i NEVER fall asleep in class. perfect timing. i can hear God laughing at me right now.



i hope many people come out to cafe nite. one lecture was sacrificed.

Thought of the Day: Liquefy.
Song of the Day: Mercy Me-In You

i go to commons almost every single day to study. unlike biola's library, it's pretty quiet and i can get alot done. well, every time i walk through the rows of many individual desks, i see many sleeping students with their heads resting on top of their books. the types of students range everywhere from sorority girls to the unshowered engineers to the fobbiest of immigrants. it makes me really happy to see so many students just resting from whatever their tired day had to offer. it reminds me that i'm not alone in this stressful college life and that there ARE others who are sleep deprived. i just want to pat them on their heads and reassure them that, "it's ok, you can keep sleeping."

Thought of the Day: We're aiming for quality. Not quantity.
Song of the Day: Rebecca St. James-Pray

t22n22z33n33 (8:49:35 PM): dinko816: thats not possibledinko816: because only dinkos and phykos can do love fests
t22n22z33n33 (8:49:40 PM): ewwwwwww!! you philus and stinko!
Pretzelboi96 (8:49:58 PM): don't be jealous, winky
Pretzelboi96 (8:50:05 PM): just b/c april won't sleep over your place
Pretzelboi96 (8:50:06 PM): =D
t22n22z33n33 (8:50:14 PM): OohhHHHhhhH i know you just did notttttt!
t22n22z33n33 (8:50:22 PM): it's ok~ me & april don't need a "love fest"
t22n22z33n33 (8:50:26 PM): we love fest everyday
Pretzelboi96 (8:50:55 PM): t22n22z33n33 (8:49:35 PM): dinko816: thats not possibledinko816: because only dinkos and phykos can do love fests
Pretzelboi96 (8:50:58 PM): ehehhehehehhe
t22n22z33n33 (8:51:11 PM): DANGGGGGGGGGGG
t22n22z33n33 (8:51:12 PM): ok fine
t22n22z33n33 (8:51:16 PM): we'll fight more later, PHILUS



take that, rewind it back!

i prefer much solitude these days. if you don't see me on campus, it's because i choose not to walk on Ring Road. if you see me online, it's only because i have to talk to somebody. if eugene and chris are hanging out and i'm not there, it's because i'm in bed by 12 every night. i'm not asking you to leave me alone or anything. i think i'm just going through a season of solitude. i always have alot of things on my mind. it kind of reminds me of the beginning of my sophomore year...only it doesn't involve as much lonliness. i kind of feel like Jesus who would disappear from large crowds of people or sometimes, even from his disciples. i almost feel like i'm having a loooong quiet time with God everyday.

sometimes, i wish some people would know how i much i pray for them. it's almost like i want them to hear my very prayers. i wish they'd know how much i care for them and how much i want to see them grow. sometimes, i wish people would know how much i want them to change their ways. i wish they could see their sins just as clearly as i can see them. other times, i want them to see just how encouraged i am by their words and actions. i want them to feel my gratitude and appreciation for all of the small things i never thank them for. but even though so many people may not know how i feel about them (for better or for worse), God has full knowledge of everything. i guess in the end, that is all that really matters.

Thought of the Day: It's going to be a good year.
Song of the Day: Noise

clementine: this is it, joel. what do we do?
joel: ...enjoy it.

Thought of the Day: Indelible.
Song of the Day: Mozart-Symphony No. 25 In G Minor

if i'm going to test out this free picture posting thing, i might as well show you guys something you'd enjoy. =D

Thought of the Day: I wish i had cable.
Song of the Day: J-Whoever...Whatever

the weekend is finally here! i mean, the weekend is ALREADY here!!! i love my 2 days of class a week schedule.

Thought of the Day: Incommensurability.
Song of the Day: Eric Clapton-Sunshine Of Your Love

it felt pretty good being on campus again. even though parking got ALOT worse and i didn't get to add my computer science class, school was good. i love the idea of keeping my mind stimulated. even in the classes with the crappy professors who are not qualified to teach, i still learn from their attempts to give an educational lecture. i feel like it's really important to realize that we are not students of the school but rather students of God. and as students of God, we are required to do our best in our studies. we are to be witnesses in our respective secular campuses (well, even at Biola!). we are to glory in God's creation just as much as we are to recognize what sin has done to it. being a student should be a blessing, not a burden.

my last class for today was Asian-American Psychology (psych 174A). man, this class has SO many shekis! you know those retarded asian guys who only come to class to check out girls or be a wiseguy to the professor. they talk during the lecture and make sure that the whole class recognizes that they're too stupid to remember to turn their phones off before class. they're those guys who try to talk like black people yet drive their lowered AZN cars. they abhor class and encourage parties. you take one look at them and wonder HOW the admissions office didn't filter them out. shekidul! they need Christ and i need to learn to love them.

today, i found out that amy was trying to get into two of my psych. classes. amy is like a super duper senior who used to live next to me last year. i met her at ccm when i was a freshmen but i really don't know her too well. anyways, we were walking and talking about how things have been. she told me that she was kinda done with the whole ccm thing now. she realized that ccm isn't everything and that it can't keep you accountable forever. she also realized that it's kinda closed off as a group. she seemed really discouraged just with how everything was going...well pretty discouraged compared to the amy that i'm used to seeing. but the crazy thing that she said to me was, "well, i know YOU'RE doing good. you go to CPC." i'll let you chew on that for a bit.

Thought of the Day: Sensitivity.
Song of the Day: J 5

i feel like i have finally started off the new school year.

1. Hold'em

last night, willburt called me but i missed his call. i was pretty sure he wanted to gamble so i didn't feel like calling him back. however, he got a hold of me online and entreated me to play that night. he had all the boys gathered up and everything! i feel like i have a hard time saying no to the guy. it's not that i have a lust for gambling or anything. it just makes me happy to see willburt happy with his goofy smile. of all of my friends, i enjoy playing with these guys the most. so we kicked off our weekly poker night yesterday at frank's new place...and willburt was happy.

2. Exercise

a few nights ago...

edu: how fast can you run a mile?
me: well, i haven't run in like 4 months. i bet you once i start running again, my 2 mile is going to be around 19 min. for sure i won't go past 20 though. 20 min. is just SLOW!

so my 2 mile time today was 20:14. i lapped this one guy 3 times but by the time i was done, he had lapped me 4 times. dang it, man.

3. Clusters

chris is leading the boys and genie is leading the girls this year. we had a joint meeting today at my apt. all of the freshmen looked through all of the pictures on my computer and laughed at my yellow hair. funny...nobody laughed at me in person when i actually had the hair.


i start my first day of class tomorrow. i've already told this to a million people but this qtr., i only have class on tues. and thurs. that means i have class from 9:30am-6:20pm on those days. right now, i'm having a hard time picturing how difficult or tiring those days will be. i guess there's only one way to find out.

the summer has finally come to a close. i am seriously convinced that this summer was the best summer that i have ever had in my life. everything from paraguay to temp. job to retreats to biola to living at edu's house. i grew up alot this summer. let's see what junior year has in store for me.

Thought of the Day: Thank you, Doe.
Song of the Day: Phorte-Live Korean Megamix #1

i missed friday night bible study tonight b/c my student invited me over for dinner. jin is his name. 31 years old, married to harriet, 31 years old as well. this is the second time i've had dinner with them. the first time, harriet made us spaghetti. tonight, she made us this tasty fried rice. i really like harriet. she's very gentle and kind with her words. i'm almost afraid that anything i say to her will hurt her since she's so innocent. i really like this couple b/c they're so much older than me but i can still see so much of their youth.

i feel like fobs are crazy polite with their guests. i ALWAYS get to drink hot chocolate, juice, or tea whenever i tutor my students. they're just so nice! but what makes me sad is that not a single one of my students go to church. Christ is not their Lord and Savior so i can't help but feel really different from them. all of their kind words and generous actions are not pleasing to the Lord. they merely reflect God's image through their "good" deeds but their motives are all selfish and sinful.

today at dinner...

me: do you usually pray before you eat your meals?
jin: oh! no, not yet.
me: oh, is it ok if i pray by myself then?

oh the stench of awkwardness! but i hope that even these small deeds would somehow be a witness to them. i mean actions do speak louder than words right? jin and harriet do go out to church. but i think they only go b/c the person that helped them move into this country was the pastor. jin tells me that it's still difficult to really trust God.

right now, i'm reading a book by Greg Bahnsen called "Always Ready." i got it as a gift my senior year in high school from chang and i didn't start reading it til this week. haha...better late than never right? anyways, Bahnsen says, "One does not first satisfy his intellect with certain autonomous proofs that God exists and has a particular nature, and then after gaining this understanding place his faith in the Lord. Rather, reverence and faith precede one's understanding or knowledge of God and all that He has made." and with these brilliant words, we, educated christians, know that man is dead in his sin and does not have the ability to even desire God. only God can work in people like Jin and Harriet. only God can make the times that i spend with them meaningful and effective to make the Gospel more real in their lives. and that is why only God deserves all the glory.

Thought of the Day: Two words: FINANCIAL AID.
Song of the Day: New Full Metal Alchemist Opening

i'm here at Biola's library again with edu, doe, and zen (who has apparently replaced our beloved grandpa joe). i am sleeping over edu's place again for the next few days as we study by day and play by night. lately, people have been asking me what edu and i talk about every night before we go to sleep. well, to put it simply we talk about theology and girls: things of the good nature and things that naturally bad. (grin). but you see, when we talk about girls we don't simply go down a list of names and gossip away. we first agree that there is a strong lack of godly women in this world. then we agree that we must FIND the Cave of Godly Women.
note: edu and i do not "lovefest." only dinkas and i do that.

The Theory of The Cave of Godly Women:

look around you. spot any females? there is a 95% chance that the female(s) you have just witnessed is/are not godly. our theory is that somewhere in Africa (i don't know why we always pick Africa), there is a cave full of awesome women. women, godly AND bodily. women, who can cook and clean well with pleasure. women, who do not get angry with passages on submitting to their husbands! women, who are TEACHABLE for crying out loud!!! *tears flowing* now, you must be thinking that you know of a few lucky men who have been blessed with an incredible woman in their life. therefore, you are convinced that it IS possible to find that lucky someone out there-you are convinced that you just have to be patient.

A few suggestions:
1. a good majority of the lucky men who have godly wives are pastors.
2. the few godly women that you've run into are women who have escaped from the cave.
3. if you hit jackpot (found the cave), would you want to share it (announce it to everybody)?

nobody ever talks about the Cave of Godly Women for three reasons:
1. you found it!
2. you are so discouraged by the fact that you will never find it.
3. you are really really discouraged that you convince yourself that it does not exist.

now, the ultimate question is-where do we find the map? that is a very good question and edu has made a very wise observation concerning the matter. if you remember suggestion #1, it states that "a good majority of the lucky men who have godly wives are pastors." now think, where do all pastors go before they claim their precious jewel?

*drumroll*

answer: seminary.

you see, seminarians are so happy on their graduation days, not b/c they are finally done studying, but because they receive their maps on that day...in other words, the diploma is the map!!!

now, the matter with p. dennis. after some thought and discussion, edu and i have concluded that one of three things could have happened to our beloved reverend:
1. he is just having a hard time finding the cave.
2. somebody stole his map.
3. the fool just lost it!

so going back to what i was originally writing about, one of the things that edu and i talk about at night is girls. we encourage each other that we will find the cave someday. we remind each other that God even loves the sinful women who are not of the cave and that we too must continue to love and be patient with them. we exhort each other to keep one another in prayer. this is the fellowship that we share.

Thought of the Day: Almighty Over All finished.
Song of the Day: Eric Clapton-Sunshine For Your Love

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it's really warm. i cannot handle cold. i can handle warm. it's really warm.

Thought of the Day: Outreach is like Paraguay.
Song of the Day: Bebo Norman & Caedmon's Call-Holy Is Your Name