2003 was an eventful year for me:
-finally became comfortable with cpc
-struggled and finished my dorm life experience
-passed psych. 9b (with a B-!)
-cut my bangs
-started Naruto
-bought my $500 motor vehicle
-started/stopped going out to ccm
-visited la, riverside, sd, and usc numerous times
-worked at Elite
-went to Magic Mountain, Getty Museum, Hollywood, Citywalk, Pink's, Roscoe's, and 3rd St. for the first time
-became a leader of welcoming committee
-received an A- in writing 39c
-went fishing for the first time with billy
-learned how to cook from billy
-finally went to NY
-pulled out wisdom teeth
-moved into Park West
-olivia came to ucla/cpc
-began to tutor jordan and dillon
-finished reading the Bible for the first time
-joined Outreach
-chang got married
-learned how to play hold'em
-won and lost much money at casinos
-finished the Matrix and LOTR trilogies
-PJ left yg
-old phil got engaged
-counseled at a yg retreat
-crushed on 4 girls
-lost 17 pounds
this year was definitely filled with ups and downs. i took a nice shower, cleaned off all my dead skin, gave myself a clean shave, and cut my fingernails. the only thing i've failed to do was to cut my hair. it's time to start a brand new year. i already shared this with my sophomore class, but i feel like every school year God teaches me a new lesson...
senior year: God disciplines those He loves.
freshmen year: God is faithful.
this year: God is gracious.
2004 shall be another crazy year. just as pastor eugene shared, i hope that i will grow to be a "wiser fool" compared to my past self.
Ephesians 2:10-For we are God's workmanship, created in Chirst Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
with that said...
1 Corinthians 10:31-So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
may this verse be our life in the year 2004.
Thought of the Day: Happy New Year.
Song of the Day: Bebo Norman-The Hammer Holds
December 27, 2003
yg retreat:
i was really excited about being a yg counselor. i couldn't even fall asleep the night before cause i couldn't stop thinking about it. however, i felt and knew that i was very distracted. i knew i was going with many thoughts of having a great time with the students. i wanted them to like me and to think i was a really cool counselor. believe me, i was very distracted.
with only four hours of sleep, i went to church and began my unexpected journey of lessons. i didn't realize how big the yg was at cpc until we actually got to the retreat site. i couldn't believe there were still many students of the yg who hadn't come...really big right? for some reason, i was expecting alot of students to approach me and get to know me for whatever curious reason. well, it actually happened to be the other way around. i think every single student i talked to, i had to be the one to iniate the conversation and introduction of each other. i was very suprised to hear that some of the students thought i was still in high school! i don't like it when people think i'm not a college student...makes me feel inferior and stupid. haha.
victory ranch wasn't as bad as i thought it'd be. the weather wasn't THAT cold and the cabins were decent. even though the food didn't receive two thumbs up, i still enjoyed every meal with that hungry stomach of mine. bathrooms were usable and there was warm water for showers. overall, the place wasn't too bad.
i was pretty impressed with the youth group's praise team too. it's definitely alot better than whatever they had at kcpc. it was pretty encouraging to see most of the people really singing and showing some respect during the worship time. however, i couldn't help but notice the very "emotional" environment that was encouraged by pastor kim. man, that guy is such a KOREAN style pastor. i really like his passionate heart for the kids but i am very discouraged by his role as a pastor. the messages were O-K. i think the only explanation i have for my critical behavior is that i was spoiled by p. john, chang, and now, p. dennis. even B and simon noticed these shady things. man, i noticed this crap when i was their age.
teaching bible study was so hard. i ended up getting the 7th graders, supposedly the most difficult group of kids to teach. these kids really don't show any appreciation and the only answer they can give to my questions was, "can we play tag?" (eyes turn into angry eyes). man, practicing our skit was really tough too. b/c i had come up with a good idea, i ended up becoming director with minimal help from the other counselors in my group. man, it's really tough trying to get your kids to do something they're so indifferent about. basically, it ended up becoming one of those skits that were either going turn out REALLY good or REALLY bad. *sigh* a terrible skit it was. you know, i learned alot from being a counselor at this retreat...
1. it is SO hard being a counselor/yg teacher. i thought about EVERY yg teacher/counselor that i had and said sorry to them in my head.
2. girls are so much more mature than guys. alotta things that i didn't understand in high school make alotta sense now.
3. i give and i give and i give...and i don't receive. it's amazing to think how often i do that to God. so humbling.
4. it's really hard to find a really good youth pastor these days.
5. teachers can influence the kids just as much as the kids can influence the teacher.
to be honest, i wasn't enjoying myself too much at the retreat but i definitely have no regrets going to it either. i learned so much about this yg and myself as a counselor. not only that but i accomplished my main purpose of even going in the first place...getting to know the yg kids of cpc:
prairie: i saw prairie very often at church and knew she was a pretty nice girl. but i felt like i got to know her a bit better at this retreat since she was so easy to talk to. i really appreciated her amiable actions with B, simon, and tiff. i feel like she was the only one who made an effort to talk to them and make them feel comfortable at the retreat. i also enjoyed working on the skit with her. practically the only person who was enthusiastic about it and really supported my ideas. a girl with an awesome machine gun laugh and dope personality test.
joe myung: i thought this kid was some punk fob kid who just came from korea and didn't know how to smile. he actually ended up being on my "favorite yg kids list" after the retreat. i actually found his laziness and complaining attitude very amusing. he told me that he liked nor cal alot better than so cal. "i like i like." a very open attitude and i thought it was so funny how he hated B even though i'd always see them together. i think i saw alot of me inside him.
i mean, i can go on and on about every student that i met but these two seemed to stand out the most in my eyes. but dude, that last night of the retreat...i've never played in such a big group before! it started off with me, carol, grace, brian, and carol just telling jokes and riddles. then we started playing assah. then came all the buffalloes! fun times for sure.
man, i started this blog with intentions of writing it into a poem (i don't know why). but that sure isn't going to happen. this sucker is way too long and detailed...
x-mas:
justin came back.
justin does not know how to play hold 'em.
justin and i have our annual hangout.
day after x-mas:
ball with the boys.
downtown sf with justin.
hold 'em and juon at terrance's.
Thought of the Day: i HATE scary movies now.
Song of the Day: Now That You're Near
i was really excited about being a yg counselor. i couldn't even fall asleep the night before cause i couldn't stop thinking about it. however, i felt and knew that i was very distracted. i knew i was going with many thoughts of having a great time with the students. i wanted them to like me and to think i was a really cool counselor. believe me, i was very distracted.
with only four hours of sleep, i went to church and began my unexpected journey of lessons. i didn't realize how big the yg was at cpc until we actually got to the retreat site. i couldn't believe there were still many students of the yg who hadn't come...really big right? for some reason, i was expecting alot of students to approach me and get to know me for whatever curious reason. well, it actually happened to be the other way around. i think every single student i talked to, i had to be the one to iniate the conversation and introduction of each other. i was very suprised to hear that some of the students thought i was still in high school! i don't like it when people think i'm not a college student...makes me feel inferior and stupid. haha.
victory ranch wasn't as bad as i thought it'd be. the weather wasn't THAT cold and the cabins were decent. even though the food didn't receive two thumbs up, i still enjoyed every meal with that hungry stomach of mine. bathrooms were usable and there was warm water for showers. overall, the place wasn't too bad.
i was pretty impressed with the youth group's praise team too. it's definitely alot better than whatever they had at kcpc. it was pretty encouraging to see most of the people really singing and showing some respect during the worship time. however, i couldn't help but notice the very "emotional" environment that was encouraged by pastor kim. man, that guy is such a KOREAN style pastor. i really like his passionate heart for the kids but i am very discouraged by his role as a pastor. the messages were O-K. i think the only explanation i have for my critical behavior is that i was spoiled by p. john, chang, and now, p. dennis. even B and simon noticed these shady things. man, i noticed this crap when i was their age.
teaching bible study was so hard. i ended up getting the 7th graders, supposedly the most difficult group of kids to teach. these kids really don't show any appreciation and the only answer they can give to my questions was, "can we play tag?" (eyes turn into angry eyes). man, practicing our skit was really tough too. b/c i had come up with a good idea, i ended up becoming director with minimal help from the other counselors in my group. man, it's really tough trying to get your kids to do something they're so indifferent about. basically, it ended up becoming one of those skits that were either going turn out REALLY good or REALLY bad. *sigh* a terrible skit it was. you know, i learned alot from being a counselor at this retreat...
1. it is SO hard being a counselor/yg teacher. i thought about EVERY yg teacher/counselor that i had and said sorry to them in my head.
2. girls are so much more mature than guys. alotta things that i didn't understand in high school make alotta sense now.
3. i give and i give and i give...and i don't receive. it's amazing to think how often i do that to God. so humbling.
4. it's really hard to find a really good youth pastor these days.
5. teachers can influence the kids just as much as the kids can influence the teacher.
to be honest, i wasn't enjoying myself too much at the retreat but i definitely have no regrets going to it either. i learned so much about this yg and myself as a counselor. not only that but i accomplished my main purpose of even going in the first place...getting to know the yg kids of cpc:
prairie: i saw prairie very often at church and knew she was a pretty nice girl. but i felt like i got to know her a bit better at this retreat since she was so easy to talk to. i really appreciated her amiable actions with B, simon, and tiff. i feel like she was the only one who made an effort to talk to them and make them feel comfortable at the retreat. i also enjoyed working on the skit with her. practically the only person who was enthusiastic about it and really supported my ideas. a girl with an awesome machine gun laugh and dope personality test.
joe myung: i thought this kid was some punk fob kid who just came from korea and didn't know how to smile. he actually ended up being on my "favorite yg kids list" after the retreat. i actually found his laziness and complaining attitude very amusing. he told me that he liked nor cal alot better than so cal. "i like i like." a very open attitude and i thought it was so funny how he hated B even though i'd always see them together. i think i saw alot of me inside him.
i mean, i can go on and on about every student that i met but these two seemed to stand out the most in my eyes. but dude, that last night of the retreat...i've never played in such a big group before! it started off with me, carol, grace, brian, and carol just telling jokes and riddles. then we started playing assah. then came all the buffalloes! fun times for sure.
man, i started this blog with intentions of writing it into a poem (i don't know why). but that sure isn't going to happen. this sucker is way too long and detailed...
x-mas:
justin came back.
justin does not know how to play hold 'em.
justin and i have our annual hangout.
day after x-mas:
ball with the boys.
downtown sf with justin.
hold 'em and juon at terrance's.
Thought of the Day: i HATE scary movies now.
Song of the Day: Now That You're Near
December 20, 2003
simon: is your chinese roommate home?
me: oh derek. no he's not home. he doesn't know how to play hold 'em anyways. he doesn't play anything actually.
danny: yeah, he's a fag.
me: lol. oh yeah, danny hates derek.
danny: no i don't. i just think he's a fag!
me: lol. there isn't a single thing about him that you like.
danny: yeah there is...i like the fact that he's never home!
so apparently, my brother and i arrived in irvine safely. it was a dangerous drive with all the rain and traffic. gosh, i really hate that combo.
i have once again hit an insomniac night with many thoughts on my mind. i've been pretty stressed about money lately cause i just realized that i really won't have much after bills, rent, and retreats. i really should have thought this through. you know, i really hate the fact that the school doesn't tell you when they're going to send out the financial aid money to the students. it would really help in my financial planning after my retreats cause i don't even have a stupid credit card to temporarily aid me. at the same time, i realize that worrying and stressing really won't get me anywhere. my mind keeps echoing Jesus' "Don't Worry" and "You of so little faith..." from Matthew, but my sinful nature keeps poking me about how i'm going to pay for everything when i haven't even included my future payments for gas. i am worried, distressed, and lack faith. all i can do is trust in God's sovereignty and grace, and be patient. oh and yeah, it's alot easier to say than do.
you know what i noticed? every time i've mentioned to someone that i no longer get pimples, my face decides to grow a fresh one! it's like taboo for me to say anything about my face. i feel like as soon as i mention one good word about anything self-facial, i'm as good as stepping on a land mine. "hey, i don't get pimples anymore!" results in plus three on the nose. hmmmm...maybe it was b/c of all of those Milano cookies.
i played alotta Hold 'Em when i was up north. i think i got alot better even though i only played with jonna, B, and my brother. i mean, they don't totally SUCK or anything! i finally undestand why guys enjoy having poker nights and crap. smoking cigars, drinking a few beers, and playing cards. i can see the puzzle pieces finally making a picture. but if i were to have a poker night, i'd minus the beers and add something like pizza. the cigars would make the pizza taste like socks, so we'd just have some soda. ok, so it pretty much looks like cards and some pizza but i still think it'd be fun. =D
do you know what the worst kinds of phones calls are? i think the worst kinds of phone calls are the ones where people call you for somebody else's number. whenever i get these calls, i get very angry...especially if it's from someone i dislike in the first place. but you know when the WORST times are to receive these calls? WHEN YOU'RE ASLEEP! you know, with their stupid "oh hey! were you sleeping? oh i'm sorry, i'll call you later." too late, you already woke me up, bucko! what good reason do you have for calling me at this hour? and as soon as you hear that question about so and so's number, out come the F words. please, do not ever call me for someone else's number...whether i'm asleep OR awake!
i really like the weather down here. i can actually walk around in my apt with just a t-shirt and shorts. i'm flabbergasted about opening windows and i've never been happier w/o my socks. i swear there's some kinda ice machine that's hidden inside my room up north that prevents me from sleeping at a comfortable temperature. i really am a so cal person now. little by little, i cannot tolerate the petty things about up north. it wasn't until this month that i started to become impatient with slow norcal drivers. you can call them "relaxed" or "patient" but if you're a driver that pisses me off, you're considered a bad driver. and yes, bad drivers do not deserve to live.
my words are slowly becoming more and more upset. i'm still not tired but i know my body needs the sleep. i hate insomnia. maybe i should just wake my brother up for fun and pretend i'm asleep. =D
Thought of the Day: NO money MO problems.
Song of the Day: Jimmy Eat World-Last Christmas
me: oh derek. no he's not home. he doesn't know how to play hold 'em anyways. he doesn't play anything actually.
danny: yeah, he's a fag.
me: lol. oh yeah, danny hates derek.
danny: no i don't. i just think he's a fag!
me: lol. there isn't a single thing about him that you like.
danny: yeah there is...i like the fact that he's never home!
so apparently, my brother and i arrived in irvine safely. it was a dangerous drive with all the rain and traffic. gosh, i really hate that combo.
i have once again hit an insomniac night with many thoughts on my mind. i've been pretty stressed about money lately cause i just realized that i really won't have much after bills, rent, and retreats. i really should have thought this through. you know, i really hate the fact that the school doesn't tell you when they're going to send out the financial aid money to the students. it would really help in my financial planning after my retreats cause i don't even have a stupid credit card to temporarily aid me. at the same time, i realize that worrying and stressing really won't get me anywhere. my mind keeps echoing Jesus' "Don't Worry" and "You of so little faith..." from Matthew, but my sinful nature keeps poking me about how i'm going to pay for everything when i haven't even included my future payments for gas. i am worried, distressed, and lack faith. all i can do is trust in God's sovereignty and grace, and be patient. oh and yeah, it's alot easier to say than do.
you know what i noticed? every time i've mentioned to someone that i no longer get pimples, my face decides to grow a fresh one! it's like taboo for me to say anything about my face. i feel like as soon as i mention one good word about anything self-facial, i'm as good as stepping on a land mine. "hey, i don't get pimples anymore!" results in plus three on the nose. hmmmm...maybe it was b/c of all of those Milano cookies.
i played alotta Hold 'Em when i was up north. i think i got alot better even though i only played with jonna, B, and my brother. i mean, they don't totally SUCK or anything! i finally undestand why guys enjoy having poker nights and crap. smoking cigars, drinking a few beers, and playing cards. i can see the puzzle pieces finally making a picture. but if i were to have a poker night, i'd minus the beers and add something like pizza. the cigars would make the pizza taste like socks, so we'd just have some soda. ok, so it pretty much looks like cards and some pizza but i still think it'd be fun. =D
do you know what the worst kinds of phones calls are? i think the worst kinds of phone calls are the ones where people call you for somebody else's number. whenever i get these calls, i get very angry...especially if it's from someone i dislike in the first place. but you know when the WORST times are to receive these calls? WHEN YOU'RE ASLEEP! you know, with their stupid "oh hey! were you sleeping? oh i'm sorry, i'll call you later." too late, you already woke me up, bucko! what good reason do you have for calling me at this hour? and as soon as you hear that question about so and so's number, out come the F words. please, do not ever call me for someone else's number...whether i'm asleep OR awake!
i really like the weather down here. i can actually walk around in my apt with just a t-shirt and shorts. i'm flabbergasted about opening windows and i've never been happier w/o my socks. i swear there's some kinda ice machine that's hidden inside my room up north that prevents me from sleeping at a comfortable temperature. i really am a so cal person now. little by little, i cannot tolerate the petty things about up north. it wasn't until this month that i started to become impatient with slow norcal drivers. you can call them "relaxed" or "patient" but if you're a driver that pisses me off, you're considered a bad driver. and yes, bad drivers do not deserve to live.
my words are slowly becoming more and more upset. i'm still not tired but i know my body needs the sleep. i hate insomnia. maybe i should just wake my brother up for fun and pretend i'm asleep. =D
Thought of the Day: NO money MO problems.
Song of the Day: Jimmy Eat World-Last Christmas
December 18, 2003
December 17, 2003
Dear Santa,
There are many things that i want for Christmas this year:
1. I want a Pulp Fiction poster that i can hang up on my wall next to my Rap Gods or Swingers poster.
2. I want the Pulp Fiction Collector's Edition dvd since i had to return it back to Target along with my brother's windbreakers that really were EXTRA large.
3. I've grown a strong love for Calvin & Hobbes this Christmas so i want the whole collection now.
4. i also want either the S300 or S307 Samsung phone, preferably the S300 since it's slightly smaller.
5. Finally, i want the Nautica Competition cologne that i got for my brother's graduation gift.
now, i understand that this sounds like alot but i think these material things are much more reasonable than getting me Keira Knightly...although i am still crossing my fingers. I'm still a little pissed that you didn't give me my Sega Genesis or Turbo Graphics 16 when i was 8 years old but i am willing to forgive you if i receive any two of the above. i know i haven't written to you in 10 years and making you cookies was just out of the question...but i promise that i've believed in you all these years. i know that i never show it around my friends or family but i've always had hope on those Christmas mornings. my apt does not have a chimney so just ring the doorbell when you arrive at my place. don't worry, i stay up pretty late now that i'm in college so i'll be waiting.
Your Most Obedient Kid Out There,
PHiL
i watched Elf at chang's place last night. i think it's so true how every year, more and more kids stop believing in Santa Clause...
me: so do you beleive in Santa Clause?
jordan: NO!
me: why not?
jordan: Santa Clause isn't real. that's stupid.
me: you never got any presents from him?
jordan: no.
me: it's probably cause you never believed in him.
jordan: no! Santa Clause isn't real!
see what i mean? it's just like Elf with the whole x-mas spirit thing getting lower and lower. but i think it's kind of good that kids aren't believing in that fat red bastard anymore. i remember i use to straight up pray to Santa and ask him for EVERYTHING with such a covetous heart. you know, it's really sad how media can really influence the mind of a kid. i strongly believed that if you wanted something SO bad, then you could have it! how many times have we heard that before, right? i was practically replacing God with Santa during x-mas time. the meaning of Christ's birth was just out the window! presents are all good but we gotta remind each other (yes, even in college students) what x-mas is all about...God's greatest gift to us, Christ.
man, i was SO angry last night.
Thought of the Day: Slow Comfort.
Song of the Day: Mase, Snoop, Salt-N-Pepa, Onyx-Santa Baby
There are many things that i want for Christmas this year:
1. I want a Pulp Fiction poster that i can hang up on my wall next to my Rap Gods or Swingers poster.
2. I want the Pulp Fiction Collector's Edition dvd since i had to return it back to Target along with my brother's windbreakers that really were EXTRA large.
3. I've grown a strong love for Calvin & Hobbes this Christmas so i want the whole collection now.
4. i also want either the S300 or S307 Samsung phone, preferably the S300 since it's slightly smaller.
5. Finally, i want the Nautica Competition cologne that i got for my brother's graduation gift.
now, i understand that this sounds like alot but i think these material things are much more reasonable than getting me Keira Knightly...although i am still crossing my fingers. I'm still a little pissed that you didn't give me my Sega Genesis or Turbo Graphics 16 when i was 8 years old but i am willing to forgive you if i receive any two of the above. i know i haven't written to you in 10 years and making you cookies was just out of the question...but i promise that i've believed in you all these years. i know that i never show it around my friends or family but i've always had hope on those Christmas mornings. my apt does not have a chimney so just ring the doorbell when you arrive at my place. don't worry, i stay up pretty late now that i'm in college so i'll be waiting.
Your Most Obedient Kid Out There,
PHiL
i watched Elf at chang's place last night. i think it's so true how every year, more and more kids stop believing in Santa Clause...
me: so do you beleive in Santa Clause?
jordan: NO!
me: why not?
jordan: Santa Clause isn't real. that's stupid.
me: you never got any presents from him?
jordan: no.
me: it's probably cause you never believed in him.
jordan: no! Santa Clause isn't real!
see what i mean? it's just like Elf with the whole x-mas spirit thing getting lower and lower. but i think it's kind of good that kids aren't believing in that fat red bastard anymore. i remember i use to straight up pray to Santa and ask him for EVERYTHING with such a covetous heart. you know, it's really sad how media can really influence the mind of a kid. i strongly believed that if you wanted something SO bad, then you could have it! how many times have we heard that before, right? i was practically replacing God with Santa during x-mas time. the meaning of Christ's birth was just out the window! presents are all good but we gotta remind each other (yes, even in college students) what x-mas is all about...God's greatest gift to us, Christ.
man, i was SO angry last night.
Thought of the Day: Slow Comfort.
Song of the Day: Mase, Snoop, Salt-N-Pepa, Onyx-Santa Baby
December 16, 2003
i visited kevin's apt. in san jo today. really small place. in fact, it was pretty similar to a single dorm...except it had its own bathroom and sink. the only thing missing was a stove but that was ok. i wouldn't mind living in a place like that by myself. anyways, meeting up with that guy always depresses me. he's always discontent with his life and everything that's going on. educationally, socially, and spiritually, i just have alot of pity for him. but he's one of the few friends i've managed to keep in touch with even after high school.
as i was driving home today, it hit me how much God has blessed me. despite all of my sinfulness and wicked ways, God is still so good to me. you know, it doesn't make any sense to me. i can't help but think, "WHO AM I TO DESERVE THIS?!" i am seriously no better than those who hate and curse God. but it all goes back to grace and mercy right? we are all creations of a wonderful God. His love has no bounds. God can forgive me an infinite number of times. He is not a God who tallies up our sins and punishes us after sin #1 million. it really is a mind-boggling thing. God loves a sinner like me. the fact that i can even realize that i'm a sinner and that God is holy...i praise Him for that. even this knowledge is grace. when i talk to non-christians, they really don't see their sinfulness or God's holiness. but for me to even recognize such a reality really does amaze me. what a gracious God! Romans 5:20-21. it always goes back to that.
Thought of the Day: Happy Birthday Danny!
Song of the Day: Phil Wickham-Jesus, Lord Of Heaven
as i was driving home today, it hit me how much God has blessed me. despite all of my sinfulness and wicked ways, God is still so good to me. you know, it doesn't make any sense to me. i can't help but think, "WHO AM I TO DESERVE THIS?!" i am seriously no better than those who hate and curse God. but it all goes back to grace and mercy right? we are all creations of a wonderful God. His love has no bounds. God can forgive me an infinite number of times. He is not a God who tallies up our sins and punishes us after sin #1 million. it really is a mind-boggling thing. God loves a sinner like me. the fact that i can even realize that i'm a sinner and that God is holy...i praise Him for that. even this knowledge is grace. when i talk to non-christians, they really don't see their sinfulness or God's holiness. but for me to even recognize such a reality really does amaze me. what a gracious God! Romans 5:20-21. it always goes back to that.
Thought of the Day: Happy Birthday Danny!
Song of the Day: Phil Wickham-Jesus, Lord Of Heaven
December 11, 2003
i got much better since i last wrote. that nyquil stuff worked like a charm. (note to self: get cherry flavor next time). i still feel like i have a cough stuck in my throat but otherwise i'm perfecty back to normal. praise God.
well, i'm practically done with finals. i took my film studies final on monday and took my calculus one yesterday. i was seriously hating the film studies one. i was blanking out like no other and i've never BSed so hard on a test before. haha, it's funny now that i think about it. i can already see the perplexed look on my TA's face when he reads my answers, trying to make sense of my jibberish, and mercifully giving me partial credit for attempting to write something. i messed up pretty hard on the calculus final too. certain problems just weren't making any sense...which will mean that many of my answers won't be doing me much good either. but admist all the playing that i did this week, i did squeeze in some crucial hours of studying. i am glad that i am finished with math 2a. i am even more glad that i am finished with film studies 85a. i have my korean final in less than six hours. that freakin' boba has caused me an uncommon insomnia. so what better thing to do at night than blog?
i gave my students their x-mas gift today. Yu-gi-oh gameboy game...
jordan: can i open it?
me: no! you have to wait til x-mas.
jordan: c'mon, please?
me: no. if you open it, i'm going to take it back home.
jordan: fine, i'm going to take my gift back too then.
me: fine.
jordan: nooooo, c'mon!!!
me: ahahahahhahah.
me: dillon, i have something to tell you.
dillon: what?
me: they ran out of yu-gi-oh and pokemon. so i had to get you a Barbie game.
dillon: WHAT?!
me: i'm sorry. but i tried playing it and it's really fun!
dillon: NOOOO! return it!
me: i can't.
dillon: yes you can!
me: i can't. just try playing it. just TRY it!
dillon: what's it called?
me: Barbie's Playhouse.
dillon: WHY DID YOU GET IT?!
me: my friend told me it was good. just try it!
dillon: you should have just waited.
me: she told me it was really good!
dillon: SHE?! it's a GIRL!
me: lol. just try it!
dillon: return it!
me: i can't.
dillon: that's not my problem. buy another one!
me: (brat!).
i love messing with kids. they're so gullible. but it was nice receiving gifts from them too. jordan gave me a pen and pencil thing and dillon gave me this lighthouse container thing? haha. it was so funny cause he was taking it out of the box as he was giving it to me, explaining that his gift was about $4. well, at least i got something right?
i got eddie the Calvin & Hobbes 10th Anniversary for x-mas. he is the first person that i know who never grew up reading Calvin & Hobbes. words cannot express the deprivation i stamped on him. but anyways, i thought it'd be an appropriate gift for him b/c in many ways, calvin reminds me of eddie. the funny temper, the childlike personality, and of course the overall physical appearance. as i was reading some of the pages, i realized that i really did not appreciate Bill Watterson as a young child. i think at the time, i was more interested in the funny faces that calvin made and the occasional colored pages that would randomly pop up. man, Bill Watterson is THE MAN! this guy really knows how to make people laugh and feel happy. i think Calvin & Hobbes is such a great comic b/c everyone (and i mean EVERYONE) can relate to him in so many ways. i can seriously sit down and read Calvin & Hobbes all day long.
lately, i've been feeling pretty dry in my spiritual life. lack of desire to read and pray, church is feeling like a chore, and no one's REALLY encouraging me. man, i think that's when you're not doing well spiritually...when you don't really feel like going to church. if your walk with God was awesome, going to church should be something you really look forward to! that's like the one place where it's purposely a place of worship. don't get me wrong, every aspect of our lives ought to be worship but you know what i mean. church is like "THE place," right? i have no desire to encourage others either. i'm just straight up DRY. i must cry out to God. it is when it is the hardest to read/pray, that we must do it the most. i'm so dry.
Thought of the Day: "Here's looking at you, kid."
Song of the Day: The Wiseguys-Start The Commotion
well, i'm practically done with finals. i took my film studies final on monday and took my calculus one yesterday. i was seriously hating the film studies one. i was blanking out like no other and i've never BSed so hard on a test before. haha, it's funny now that i think about it. i can already see the perplexed look on my TA's face when he reads my answers, trying to make sense of my jibberish, and mercifully giving me partial credit for attempting to write something. i messed up pretty hard on the calculus final too. certain problems just weren't making any sense...which will mean that many of my answers won't be doing me much good either. but admist all the playing that i did this week, i did squeeze in some crucial hours of studying. i am glad that i am finished with math 2a. i am even more glad that i am finished with film studies 85a. i have my korean final in less than six hours. that freakin' boba has caused me an uncommon insomnia. so what better thing to do at night than blog?
i gave my students their x-mas gift today. Yu-gi-oh gameboy game...
jordan: can i open it?
me: no! you have to wait til x-mas.
jordan: c'mon, please?
me: no. if you open it, i'm going to take it back home.
jordan: fine, i'm going to take my gift back too then.
me: fine.
jordan: nooooo, c'mon!!!
me: ahahahahhahah.
me: dillon, i have something to tell you.
dillon: what?
me: they ran out of yu-gi-oh and pokemon. so i had to get you a Barbie game.
dillon: WHAT?!
me: i'm sorry. but i tried playing it and it's really fun!
dillon: NOOOO! return it!
me: i can't.
dillon: yes you can!
me: i can't. just try playing it. just TRY it!
dillon: what's it called?
me: Barbie's Playhouse.
dillon: WHY DID YOU GET IT?!
me: my friend told me it was good. just try it!
dillon: you should have just waited.
me: she told me it was really good!
dillon: SHE?! it's a GIRL!
me: lol. just try it!
dillon: return it!
me: i can't.
dillon: that's not my problem. buy another one!
me: (brat!).
i love messing with kids. they're so gullible. but it was nice receiving gifts from them too. jordan gave me a pen and pencil thing and dillon gave me this lighthouse container thing? haha. it was so funny cause he was taking it out of the box as he was giving it to me, explaining that his gift was about $4. well, at least i got something right?
i got eddie the Calvin & Hobbes 10th Anniversary for x-mas. he is the first person that i know who never grew up reading Calvin & Hobbes. words cannot express the deprivation i stamped on him. but anyways, i thought it'd be an appropriate gift for him b/c in many ways, calvin reminds me of eddie. the funny temper, the childlike personality, and of course the overall physical appearance. as i was reading some of the pages, i realized that i really did not appreciate Bill Watterson as a young child. i think at the time, i was more interested in the funny faces that calvin made and the occasional colored pages that would randomly pop up. man, Bill Watterson is THE MAN! this guy really knows how to make people laugh and feel happy. i think Calvin & Hobbes is such a great comic b/c everyone (and i mean EVERYONE) can relate to him in so many ways. i can seriously sit down and read Calvin & Hobbes all day long.
lately, i've been feeling pretty dry in my spiritual life. lack of desire to read and pray, church is feeling like a chore, and no one's REALLY encouraging me. man, i think that's when you're not doing well spiritually...when you don't really feel like going to church. if your walk with God was awesome, going to church should be something you really look forward to! that's like the one place where it's purposely a place of worship. don't get me wrong, every aspect of our lives ought to be worship but you know what i mean. church is like "THE place," right? i have no desire to encourage others either. i'm just straight up DRY. i must cry out to God. it is when it is the hardest to read/pray, that we must do it the most. i'm so dry.
Thought of the Day: "Here's looking at you, kid."
Song of the Day: The Wiseguys-Start The Commotion
December 6, 2003
i'm not a big fan of medicine but i thought nyquil would really be a wise decision, especially since its finals week coming up. everyone raves about how effective nyquil is and how it'll knock you out "just like that!" freakin' sham dude. i took it last night and was waiting for the signs of drowsiness to come. none. i just went to bed cause of food coma from taco bell. same thing this afternoon, only this time i took 45 ml. just went to bed to get a power nap before i started studying for finals. but besides the false claims about drowsiness, nyquil really did make me feel better. instead of coughing, i now have an occasional runny nose. my immune system may be retarded but i think i'm getting better.
i had outreach today and as always, i tutored my student, michiyoshi. this kid is freakin' hilarious! last time, he straight up just brought a basketball and a chess set to play with me. well, he did the same thing today, only today he replaced the basketball with a soccerball. he also brought his 1st Place trophy that he won at his school's chess tournament. he brought that crap just to show it off to me. lol. oh, and you know how when you ask kids what their favorite color is? well, most kids will respond with blue or green or some ordinary color like that....but not MY student! no sir, michiyoshi's favorite color is GOLD! ahahahahahhahahah.
well, since it's finals weeks, i'm doing exactly what i'm NOT supposed to be doing: watching a gang of movies. thurs. night = Run Lola Run. fri. evening = Trainspotting. and tonight, The Last Samurai. i was actually going to consider studying after the movie but i just realized that i'm out of flash cards and i don't want to lose my parking spot by going out to get some right now. so we'll hold off studying til monday morning (as soon as it hits midnight) since i don't study on sundays. haha. fun times! if you don't want to be sad like the students in la, come join irvine on an adventurous study break.
ilikelotsofsugar (10:14:56 PM): Freaking finals week in Irvine..I swear
Thought of the Day: Studying's not going to happen.
Song of the Day: Fastball-?
i had outreach today and as always, i tutored my student, michiyoshi. this kid is freakin' hilarious! last time, he straight up just brought a basketball and a chess set to play with me. well, he did the same thing today, only today he replaced the basketball with a soccerball. he also brought his 1st Place trophy that he won at his school's chess tournament. he brought that crap just to show it off to me. lol. oh, and you know how when you ask kids what their favorite color is? well, most kids will respond with blue or green or some ordinary color like that....but not MY student! no sir, michiyoshi's favorite color is GOLD! ahahahahahhahahah.
well, since it's finals weeks, i'm doing exactly what i'm NOT supposed to be doing: watching a gang of movies. thurs. night = Run Lola Run. fri. evening = Trainspotting. and tonight, The Last Samurai. i was actually going to consider studying after the movie but i just realized that i'm out of flash cards and i don't want to lose my parking spot by going out to get some right now. so we'll hold off studying til monday morning (as soon as it hits midnight) since i don't study on sundays. haha. fun times! if you don't want to be sad like the students in la, come join irvine on an adventurous study break.
ilikelotsofsugar (10:14:56 PM): Freaking finals week in Irvine..I swear
Thought of the Day: Studying's not going to happen.
Song of the Day: Fastball-?
December 5, 2003
dude, i'm freakin' sick again. i was honestly convinced that i wasn't going to get sick this winter. i get sick EVERY winter! "you're hella weak. you can't find the germ!" right? fudge, i can think of so many possible candidates for causing me my physical humility: simon's *cough cough*. bs' *COUGH COUGH* while i was trapped in the car right next to him for over two hours. and finally, danny's open sneezing. the idiot doesn't believe that others can get sick from his sneezing...thus his independent germs entering my body. it's either that or he's kissing me while i'm sleeping at night.
so just like any other quarter, i have a strong indifference for school during the 10th and finals week of school. a very unfortunate condition it is. i think it's b/c i look forward to the break so much that i forget that there's quite a bit of studying to do before it comes. remember a few weeks ago when i had to write my final film studies paper, and i felt like it was the worst paper i had ever written in my life? well it turns out that it was an A paper! not an A-. a solid A! unfortunately, the nonchalant idiot that i was forgot to add my Works Cited page so i got a B+ (fingernails breaking on chalkboard). well, not that that paper had anything to do with 10th week or finals. just a random insert. but i SO had no desire to go to class this week...so i didn't go too much. =D goodness, what am i trying to get across to my reader? fudge, i just feel like crap right now. *cough cough*
well, i'm practically done with most of my x-mas shopping for the year. man, i've never bought so many things online before. it's kinda exciting because the offered prices (and free shipping) are to die for! but it's also kinda scary because you don't know when to expect the package to arrive and even when it does, you wonder if it'll be in one piece. but i am pretty content with what i got for everyone this year. from the words of chang: "you know a gift is good if you know it's something you want for yourself." i couldn't agree anymore.
Thought of the Day: I want to get better.
Song of the Day: Reliant K-Sadies Hawkins
so just like any other quarter, i have a strong indifference for school during the 10th and finals week of school. a very unfortunate condition it is. i think it's b/c i look forward to the break so much that i forget that there's quite a bit of studying to do before it comes. remember a few weeks ago when i had to write my final film studies paper, and i felt like it was the worst paper i had ever written in my life? well it turns out that it was an A paper! not an A-. a solid A! unfortunately, the nonchalant idiot that i was forgot to add my Works Cited page so i got a B+ (fingernails breaking on chalkboard). well, not that that paper had anything to do with 10th week or finals. just a random insert. but i SO had no desire to go to class this week...so i didn't go too much. =D goodness, what am i trying to get across to my reader? fudge, i just feel like crap right now. *cough cough*
well, i'm practically done with most of my x-mas shopping for the year. man, i've never bought so many things online before. it's kinda exciting because the offered prices (and free shipping) are to die for! but it's also kinda scary because you don't know when to expect the package to arrive and even when it does, you wonder if it'll be in one piece. but i am pretty content with what i got for everyone this year. from the words of chang: "you know a gift is good if you know it's something you want for yourself." i couldn't agree anymore.
Thought of the Day: I want to get better.
Song of the Day: Reliant K-Sadies Hawkins
December 2, 2003
during the thanksgiving break, i played texas hold 'em for the first time. i played with my fob friends in berkeley with a jackpot of 40 something dollars. i learned something from this game. i cannot hang out with fobs. i feel/am very out of place. i know it, they know it. for example, they'd be talking in their stupid korean with all their stupid korean jokes and slang and then one guy would turn to me and ask me how school was. some crap like that.
if you don't know already, one of my life's goals is to perfect my imperfect korean. i always tell people that i'm going to live in korea for a year after i graduate from irvine so that i can master the blasted language. but living in korea for a whole year...fudge. definitely will not be an easy thing to do. i guess i'll just have to drag danny along with me.
but anyways, hold 'em was really fun. stupid pat and his "sorry john. i don't remember." lol. however, i really didn't like seeing seung-bae all different. it pisses me off to see people going through the same mistakes i did. but i know that God is a just God and He will deal with everyone accordingly...including myself.
right now, i really miss my mom's food. i feel like every meal that i ate was a considered the highlight of my thanksgiving break. i really don't eat that much normally but i refused to stop chewing after my first plate for every meal. i think my new favorite food has become ggori gomtang (ox tail soup). it's a very simple piece of food but i think that's why i like it very much too. it's definitely the best thing to eat, especially in a rainy san francisco. man, i ate that crap every single day!
another memory that i have is cache creek. i usually only went with chang every time i went up north. but kevin, bs, and this fob named joe, felt like playing some cards so we drove up one night. man, we all lost our money but i thought it was a good memory. like after we all lost and came out of the casino, the guys started thinking of every possible excuse and complaint that they could think of for losing their money. i found it really amusing and even explained to them that even though we had all lost our money...
me: this is still a good memory. when you look back after some time, you'll laugh about the time we went to the casino and lost our money and started complaining.
kevin: is this memory worth $60?
everyone: ahhahahahahha.
man, i can't believe i only got to play 3 hands.
and finally, we have the drive back down. we took off at 2:30 and arrived in la by 1am. the traffic was really bad. i don't remember it being this bad when we drove last year but it was pretty bad. however once again, i was very fortunate to have a very talkative piece of company for the long trip. but unexpectedly, jane didn't have as much to say compared to the first time we drove up. i guess she IS human afterall. =D but man, she is seriously the craziest in n' out eater. i've never seen anyone eat their fries with so much concentration. this girl who can talk for hours straight does not say a single word when we're eating inside the restaurant. all you see is her hat with her head tilted down at a 45 degree angle, and fries just entering the mouth area. she's like a garbage truck that just inhales everything that is in its path. i have the strongest regrets of not taking a picture of her in action. definitely a kodak moment.
dang, jane can play canon on piano.
Thought of the Day: Chinatown sucks!
Song of the Day: 1TYM-Uh-Oh
if you don't know already, one of my life's goals is to perfect my imperfect korean. i always tell people that i'm going to live in korea for a year after i graduate from irvine so that i can master the blasted language. but living in korea for a whole year...fudge. definitely will not be an easy thing to do. i guess i'll just have to drag danny along with me.
but anyways, hold 'em was really fun. stupid pat and his "sorry john. i don't remember." lol. however, i really didn't like seeing seung-bae all different. it pisses me off to see people going through the same mistakes i did. but i know that God is a just God and He will deal with everyone accordingly...including myself.
right now, i really miss my mom's food. i feel like every meal that i ate was a considered the highlight of my thanksgiving break. i really don't eat that much normally but i refused to stop chewing after my first plate for every meal. i think my new favorite food has become ggori gomtang (ox tail soup). it's a very simple piece of food but i think that's why i like it very much too. it's definitely the best thing to eat, especially in a rainy san francisco. man, i ate that crap every single day!
another memory that i have is cache creek. i usually only went with chang every time i went up north. but kevin, bs, and this fob named joe, felt like playing some cards so we drove up one night. man, we all lost our money but i thought it was a good memory. like after we all lost and came out of the casino, the guys started thinking of every possible excuse and complaint that they could think of for losing their money. i found it really amusing and even explained to them that even though we had all lost our money...
me: this is still a good memory. when you look back after some time, you'll laugh about the time we went to the casino and lost our money and started complaining.
kevin: is this memory worth $60?
everyone: ahhahahahahha.
man, i can't believe i only got to play 3 hands.
and finally, we have the drive back down. we took off at 2:30 and arrived in la by 1am. the traffic was really bad. i don't remember it being this bad when we drove last year but it was pretty bad. however once again, i was very fortunate to have a very talkative piece of company for the long trip. but unexpectedly, jane didn't have as much to say compared to the first time we drove up. i guess she IS human afterall. =D but man, she is seriously the craziest in n' out eater. i've never seen anyone eat their fries with so much concentration. this girl who can talk for hours straight does not say a single word when we're eating inside the restaurant. all you see is her hat with her head tilted down at a 45 degree angle, and fries just entering the mouth area. she's like a garbage truck that just inhales everything that is in its path. i have the strongest regrets of not taking a picture of her in action. definitely a kodak moment.
dang, jane can play canon on piano.
Thought of the Day: Chinatown sucks!
Song of the Day: 1TYM-Uh-Oh
November 28, 2003
another thanksgiving has passed me by. although my family doesn't really celebrate thanksgiving, i was still reminded of what i should be grateful for. the drive up home was a very long drive. i took off from irvine at 1:30pm and arrived home the next day at 1am (don't worry, i'll explain). but i had jennifer moon and jane yu to keep me company...
jennifer moon is a 1st year at irvine. we both went to high school together but never talked until this year. i know her through her brother, chris moon, who happens to be one of my brother's friends. jennifer is a fob. i think the only time i talked to her in high school was when i asked her to help me out with my bio grade since she was the TA for my class. at one point, i had the highest grade in the class, a much too obvious 94%. she didn't talk much after we picked up jane.
jane yu is a 1st year at la. she too went to high school with me but we never talked until last year? (and this was just a little). well, i remember hearing about how she used to be a devout christian until she started having doubts about her faith. she is currently an "agnostic." anyways, she asked me for a ride a while ago and i remember anticipating a huge theological debate on the validity of christianity since we'd be driving up together. a few things that were unexpected:
1. she talks alot. at first, i was scared that she'd be an annoying chatterbox that i'd have to pretend to be listening to. she actually turned out to be a chatterbox that had many interesting thoughts. i enjoyed everything that she shared.
2. our debate began as soon as we hit the 101. nothing hostile or unclear. everything was straightforward and understood. a pleasant discussion if you will.
3. conclusion: jane is a very analytical person. i feel like i get along with her quite well.
...as i was saying, i arrived home at 1am. whenever i drive up north from irvine, i only have to fill up once before i take off cause i can make it the whole way without stopping. unfortunately, i hadn't taken into consideration that i had stopped twice...once for bathroom break (weaksauce girls) and another time for In N' Out. these few extra driven miles caused my car to run out of gas at Dore Ave (right in b/w San Mateo and Burlingame). fudge right? i call my mom at 11:45. she takes a good 45 min. to arrive at the scene (never EVER assume your mom understands your directions), it takes me another 30 min. just to get to a gas station, buy a gasoline container, attempt to fill it up, drive to another gas station (after failing the first time), learn how to fill the container with fuel, and finally drive back to my car and pour the goods. however, i learned a few things from this FREEZING experience:
1. even motels near burlingame look like crap.
2. if the gas light turns on, it doesn't hurt to get off the freeway and put some more gas in...even if you're 5 stupid miles away from your destination.
3. you need to PUSH the gas pump into the container or else the gas won't come out.
4. i learned how to pour (not pump) gas into my car.
5. i think gas is cheaper up north.
some people have to learn the hard way. just learn from my words so you don't have to be one of those people.
and going even further back to my original point: so i was talking with jane about the condemned and the elect. i could see that everything that i was talking about, she totally understood every word. she had heard it many times before and she was hearing it again. i realized that God had chosen to reveal so many of His truths to me while hiding them from jane. we could both read God's word but the difference b/w us is acceptance. everything that i understand and believe to be true is only possible by God's grace. i find it hitting me harder and harder every time i discuss theology with people. everything that makes sense and everything that i can enjoy and delight in is only possible by God's grace. a gift from God. something that i do not deserve. while i pity those who are not as fortunate as i am, at the same time i am compelled to give thanks to my gracious Lord. i have everything b/c of grace. i know everything b/c of grace. i am saved b/c of grace. Thanksgiving. i give thanks b/c of God's grace.
well, it's that time of the year again. christmas shopping. time to bust out that list of people who you're going to shop for. you go through all your friends and see who deserves the 20 dollar gift or the "i'm sorry i couldn't get you anything" x-mas card. man, i remember my senior year in high school, i had like a list of 20 people! i think every year, i spend about $500 on x-mas gifts. but today, i was doing my budgeting and realized that i am only going to spend about $300 this year (interpretation: i have less friends this year). but one thing that i hate is that i never get anything i REALLY want for x-mas. i feel like i get people the best gifts that they could ever want...wonderful and useful gifts! but all i ever get is a gift chosen out of obligation. *breaks window* yeahyeah, it's not about receiving. it's all about giving right? well i got news for ya...if you ever say that to me in person, don't expect a gift coming from ME this year!
p.s.-i want keira knightly for x-mas. *thumbs up*
Thought of the Day: Simon's super sick!
Song of the Day: Beethoven-Moonlight Sonata 3rd Movement
jennifer moon is a 1st year at irvine. we both went to high school together but never talked until this year. i know her through her brother, chris moon, who happens to be one of my brother's friends. jennifer is a fob. i think the only time i talked to her in high school was when i asked her to help me out with my bio grade since she was the TA for my class. at one point, i had the highest grade in the class, a much too obvious 94%. she didn't talk much after we picked up jane.
jane yu is a 1st year at la. she too went to high school with me but we never talked until last year? (and this was just a little). well, i remember hearing about how she used to be a devout christian until she started having doubts about her faith. she is currently an "agnostic." anyways, she asked me for a ride a while ago and i remember anticipating a huge theological debate on the validity of christianity since we'd be driving up together. a few things that were unexpected:
1. she talks alot. at first, i was scared that she'd be an annoying chatterbox that i'd have to pretend to be listening to. she actually turned out to be a chatterbox that had many interesting thoughts. i enjoyed everything that she shared.
2. our debate began as soon as we hit the 101. nothing hostile or unclear. everything was straightforward and understood. a pleasant discussion if you will.
3. conclusion: jane is a very analytical person. i feel like i get along with her quite well.
...as i was saying, i arrived home at 1am. whenever i drive up north from irvine, i only have to fill up once before i take off cause i can make it the whole way without stopping. unfortunately, i hadn't taken into consideration that i had stopped twice...once for bathroom break (weaksauce girls) and another time for In N' Out. these few extra driven miles caused my car to run out of gas at Dore Ave (right in b/w San Mateo and Burlingame). fudge right? i call my mom at 11:45. she takes a good 45 min. to arrive at the scene (never EVER assume your mom understands your directions), it takes me another 30 min. just to get to a gas station, buy a gasoline container, attempt to fill it up, drive to another gas station (after failing the first time), learn how to fill the container with fuel, and finally drive back to my car and pour the goods. however, i learned a few things from this FREEZING experience:
1. even motels near burlingame look like crap.
2. if the gas light turns on, it doesn't hurt to get off the freeway and put some more gas in...even if you're 5 stupid miles away from your destination.
3. you need to PUSH the gas pump into the container or else the gas won't come out.
4. i learned how to pour (not pump) gas into my car.
5. i think gas is cheaper up north.
some people have to learn the hard way. just learn from my words so you don't have to be one of those people.
and going even further back to my original point: so i was talking with jane about the condemned and the elect. i could see that everything that i was talking about, she totally understood every word. she had heard it many times before and she was hearing it again. i realized that God had chosen to reveal so many of His truths to me while hiding them from jane. we could both read God's word but the difference b/w us is acceptance. everything that i understand and believe to be true is only possible by God's grace. i find it hitting me harder and harder every time i discuss theology with people. everything that makes sense and everything that i can enjoy and delight in is only possible by God's grace. a gift from God. something that i do not deserve. while i pity those who are not as fortunate as i am, at the same time i am compelled to give thanks to my gracious Lord. i have everything b/c of grace. i know everything b/c of grace. i am saved b/c of grace. Thanksgiving. i give thanks b/c of God's grace.
well, it's that time of the year again. christmas shopping. time to bust out that list of people who you're going to shop for. you go through all your friends and see who deserves the 20 dollar gift or the "i'm sorry i couldn't get you anything" x-mas card. man, i remember my senior year in high school, i had like a list of 20 people! i think every year, i spend about $500 on x-mas gifts. but today, i was doing my budgeting and realized that i am only going to spend about $300 this year (interpretation: i have less friends this year). but one thing that i hate is that i never get anything i REALLY want for x-mas. i feel like i get people the best gifts that they could ever want...wonderful and useful gifts! but all i ever get is a gift chosen out of obligation. *breaks window* yeahyeah, it's not about receiving. it's all about giving right? well i got news for ya...if you ever say that to me in person, don't expect a gift coming from ME this year!
p.s.-i want keira knightly for x-mas. *thumbs up*
Thought of the Day: Simon's super sick!
Song of the Day: Beethoven-Moonlight Sonata 3rd Movement
November 24, 2003
the brother's face continues to increase in volume and the best friend hasn't quit smoking nor stopped growing his hair...
the wedding was really nice. man, all i heard from people was, "you lost a lot of weight!" alrite, so i guess i was a fatso the whole time then, right? =D anyways, the wedding was really good. i don't think i've ever seen chang so happy. the whole time, that guy was just cheesing the biggest grin. seeing him up there made me SO happy for him that i swear i wanted to cry. now i understand why people cry at weddings. you're just overwhelmed with so much happiness for them that you just wanna bawl. it would have been a ridiculous site if i started crying. haha. *ahem*
just as predicted, the food was awesome. i hate it when there's so many good things to eat that you never get a good balance of everything. i'd have like pounds of veggies with like 2 pieces of meat. 6 california rolls and one salmon thing. haha. but i ate to my stomach's content, especially since they had dduk. i haven't had that stuff in the longest time. that's one of the things i miss about my old churches cause they always used to have dduk. fudge, i gotta stop remembering last night's meal cause i'm starting to get sad again. *tears* i'm so hungry.
"love never fails...chang never fails." ahahhahahahahaha.
i think it's funny how everytime i meet up with justin, we always have to include somewhere in our retarded conversation the reason why our friendship is so different from everyone else's. the whole "we are SO different yet we remain friends for so many years." it's almost like our relationship is inevitable. "fate" or "destiny" as olivia would put it. i never thought i could be friends with such a sinful guy.
lol. joe meets justin last night and...
joe: dang philly! nice jacket!
me: oh, that's justin's.
joe: oh really? can i try it on? (puts it on as he's asking. walks over to the mirror and takes out justin's cell phone and checks himself out).
me: ahahhahhhhaha.
at the arc...
joe: (talking about japanese people). oh you see that guy? he's a samurai too!
me: ahhahahaaahah.
joe: oh my, look at that guy! he looks like wifebeater! he is so going to beat his wife. (does an ugly face).
me: ahahahhahahah.
joe: dude, i should stop making fun of people and evanglize to him. like when we're resting, "hey buddy, you're going to hell...oh, you're saved? you sure don't look like it."
me: ahhahahahaha.
that guy is the funniest when he's talking about people. he always does this thing where he gives random strangers differnt nicknames. ahahahhahaha.
Thought of the Day: *crush*
Song of the Day: Killer Mike-Adidas
the wedding was really nice. man, all i heard from people was, "you lost a lot of weight!" alrite, so i guess i was a fatso the whole time then, right? =D anyways, the wedding was really good. i don't think i've ever seen chang so happy. the whole time, that guy was just cheesing the biggest grin. seeing him up there made me SO happy for him that i swear i wanted to cry. now i understand why people cry at weddings. you're just overwhelmed with so much happiness for them that you just wanna bawl. it would have been a ridiculous site if i started crying. haha. *ahem*
just as predicted, the food was awesome. i hate it when there's so many good things to eat that you never get a good balance of everything. i'd have like pounds of veggies with like 2 pieces of meat. 6 california rolls and one salmon thing. haha. but i ate to my stomach's content, especially since they had dduk. i haven't had that stuff in the longest time. that's one of the things i miss about my old churches cause they always used to have dduk. fudge, i gotta stop remembering last night's meal cause i'm starting to get sad again. *tears* i'm so hungry.
"love never fails...chang never fails." ahahhahahahahaha.
i think it's funny how everytime i meet up with justin, we always have to include somewhere in our retarded conversation the reason why our friendship is so different from everyone else's. the whole "we are SO different yet we remain friends for so many years." it's almost like our relationship is inevitable. "fate" or "destiny" as olivia would put it. i never thought i could be friends with such a sinful guy.
lol. joe meets justin last night and...
joe: dang philly! nice jacket!
me: oh, that's justin's.
joe: oh really? can i try it on? (puts it on as he's asking. walks over to the mirror and takes out justin's cell phone and checks himself out).
me: ahahhahhhhaha.
at the arc...
joe: (talking about japanese people). oh you see that guy? he's a samurai too!
me: ahhahahaaahah.
joe: oh my, look at that guy! he looks like wifebeater! he is so going to beat his wife. (does an ugly face).
me: ahahahhahahah.
joe: dude, i should stop making fun of people and evanglize to him. like when we're resting, "hey buddy, you're going to hell...oh, you're saved? you sure don't look like it."
me: ahhahahahaha.
that guy is the funniest when he's talking about people. he always does this thing where he gives random strangers differnt nicknames. ahahahhahaha.
Thought of the Day: *crush*
Song of the Day: Killer Mike-Adidas
November 21, 2003
fudge. i can't believe this week is finally over. i really feel like everyone was hating 8th week b/c of midterms, papers, or in my case...BOTH! but by the grace of God, i can once again breathe and smile w/o worries. right now, my eyes are open but they don't see. i hear things but my ears don't listen. you know you had a very long week when you FEEL like you've been pulled an all-nighters when you really didn't. "together we sing. everyone sing, "Holy is the Lord, God Almighty."" amen.
i don't have enough time, energy, or desire to reflect on this past week so let's just do the list...
1. so much ball. i loved/needed it.
2. film studies paper-one of the worst papers i've ever written in my life.
3. april & zenia-fun times. fishhead, jjot, boba. fun times.
4. cramming for math midterm with eddie. so out of it.
5. taking the math midterm. even worse than the cramming.
things i'm looking forward to it...
1. in a few hours, i'll be seeing my best friend, bingsoo.
2. a few hours after that, i shall be in my brother's physical presence. i missed him alot.
3. flytothelimits (5:56:09 PM): 2 long months.
no feelings here.
4. chang's wedding. enough said.
Thought of the Day: It is finished.
Song of the Day: YSJ-Gawi
i don't have enough time, energy, or desire to reflect on this past week so let's just do the list...
1. so much ball. i loved/needed it.
2. film studies paper-one of the worst papers i've ever written in my life.
3. april & zenia-fun times. fishhead, jjot, boba. fun times.
4. cramming for math midterm with eddie. so out of it.
5. taking the math midterm. even worse than the cramming.
things i'm looking forward to it...
1. in a few hours, i'll be seeing my best friend, bingsoo.
2. a few hours after that, i shall be in my brother's physical presence. i missed him alot.
3. flytothelimits (5:56:09 PM): 2 long months.
no feelings here.
4. chang's wedding. enough said.
Thought of the Day: It is finished.
Song of the Day: YSJ-Gawi
November 16, 2003
i just read my Nov. 17, 2002 blog entry from last year. thinking back, exactly one year ago i was SO not the same person i am today. one year ago, i was just struggling alot spiritually. so much indulgence and sin. i think i was at a state so low that even if i could go back in time and talk to the old phil, he still wouldn't listen to me. a very hard-heartened, discouraged, and sad person i was. i never would have thought i could be capable of such wickedness. but i do believe that even in my rebellious acts, God was/is sovereign. He can even use sin to ultimately bring glory to Himself. now that i think back, if i hadn't experienced those times of struggle, i wouldn't be able to give effective advice to friends of mine who are struggling with the similar things. i would not have become friends with alot of my dormmates who i try to evangelize to today. if i hadn't experienced those difficult times, i wouldn't be sitting here on my computer, reminicising the past and praising God for His love and grace. but it all goes back to Romans 5:20-21-6:1-2-"The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through rightesouness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?" Amen.
today at outreach, we had more volunteers for tutoring come out! i find it so encouraging to see more and more people join me in my misery. i mean if carol took me down, i'm going to take others with me! haha, JUST kidding! but really, not only is it alot easier on the rest of the teachers, but it's just so nice to see more hearts that are willing to serve. i think Pastor Andy made a very good point before we started our tutoring session today. he reminded everyone about 1 Cor. 10:31 (one my favorites)-"Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." he explained how whenever we become miserable or stressed out in ANYTHING that we do, we have totally lost focus of why we are doing what we are doing. if your motives have become so man-centered and independent of God, you are totally going to burn out and just be hating it. but whenever you have the mentality of doing it for God's glory, your deeds and actions become so much more meaningful. the end results are more rewarding, but most of all it pleases God. reader, whether you have that sucky job that barely pays over minimum wage or you have that math midterm to study for even though you are certain that you'll never see those equations ever again, whether you have to make some stupid collage that has nothing to do with English or you have to go to work while everyone else is watching that movie that just came out, think about WHY you are doing it. is merely just to make money or pass the class with a certain grade? is it merely just to accomplish the assignment or to keep yourself from being fired? May It Be SOLI DEO GLORIA.
for some reason, i've been hearing much about the topic of demon possession this year. we've all had those talks where we've heard about some guy who heard about some girl who was possessed by a demon or some garbage like that. now, i'm not bashing on the existence of demons or even the possibility of a demon entering a person's body. it is clear in the Bible that demons really do exist and that they have disturbed people in the past. i've even heard about people that I KNOW IN REAL LIFE who have had past experiences with hearing disturbing voices in their head...really scary stuff. when we all talk about these things, everyone gets all scared b/c of the thought of being possessed by a demon. i just think that it's really unimportant and not worth being afraid of. once again, i am not bashing on the reality of demons but i just think that it's nothing to pee in your pants about. i mean if you're a child of God, you have nothing to fear. you should be more concerned about living a life that is pleasing to God rather than worrying about some evil spirit randomly entering you someday. haha, it always goes back to Romans (8:38)-"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neigher angels nor demons , neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be albe to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." i may not be able to explain anything about demons, but i do know that it will never be able to separate me from God.
hmmmm, all i seem to be thinking about is how everything relates and goes back to God. i suppose that's a good thing...but now for at least one stupid thought.
i was doing my math hw earlier tonight and i felt really gross from eating a corndog. all of that oil and fat concentrated in that small piece of food. you know when you eat really greasy food, your face gets all oily and disgusting? well as i was thinking about this, i realized that i hadn't gotten a pimple in a LONG time! i remember back in high school, i'd get a new one as SOON as i had finished healing an old one. i would never ever have a clear face that was devoid of acne. i mean, don't get me wrong...i was no pizza face. my parents both have very decent skin so my face didn't explode or anything in my adolescent years. but i just thought it was cool how i hadn't had a pimple in SUCH a long time! i mean, we have those tiny baby ones around our foreheads that no one can see, but those don't really count. i'm talking about REAL pimples! those hill monsters that must be digged out carefully. the worst ones are the ones that grow on your nose. fudge, i hate them so much i'm not going to even bother to write about them.
Thought of the Day: Danny's mom has got it goin' on!
Song of the Day: Praise Team-Holy Is The Lord
today at outreach, we had more volunteers for tutoring come out! i find it so encouraging to see more and more people join me in my misery. i mean if carol took me down, i'm going to take others with me! haha, JUST kidding! but really, not only is it alot easier on the rest of the teachers, but it's just so nice to see more hearts that are willing to serve. i think Pastor Andy made a very good point before we started our tutoring session today. he reminded everyone about 1 Cor. 10:31 (one my favorites)-"Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." he explained how whenever we become miserable or stressed out in ANYTHING that we do, we have totally lost focus of why we are doing what we are doing. if your motives have become so man-centered and independent of God, you are totally going to burn out and just be hating it. but whenever you have the mentality of doing it for God's glory, your deeds and actions become so much more meaningful. the end results are more rewarding, but most of all it pleases God. reader, whether you have that sucky job that barely pays over minimum wage or you have that math midterm to study for even though you are certain that you'll never see those equations ever again, whether you have to make some stupid collage that has nothing to do with English or you have to go to work while everyone else is watching that movie that just came out, think about WHY you are doing it. is merely just to make money or pass the class with a certain grade? is it merely just to accomplish the assignment or to keep yourself from being fired? May It Be SOLI DEO GLORIA.
for some reason, i've been hearing much about the topic of demon possession this year. we've all had those talks where we've heard about some guy who heard about some girl who was possessed by a demon or some garbage like that. now, i'm not bashing on the existence of demons or even the possibility of a demon entering a person's body. it is clear in the Bible that demons really do exist and that they have disturbed people in the past. i've even heard about people that I KNOW IN REAL LIFE who have had past experiences with hearing disturbing voices in their head...really scary stuff. when we all talk about these things, everyone gets all scared b/c of the thought of being possessed by a demon. i just think that it's really unimportant and not worth being afraid of. once again, i am not bashing on the reality of demons but i just think that it's nothing to pee in your pants about. i mean if you're a child of God, you have nothing to fear. you should be more concerned about living a life that is pleasing to God rather than worrying about some evil spirit randomly entering you someday. haha, it always goes back to Romans (8:38)-"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neigher angels nor demons , neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be albe to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." i may not be able to explain anything about demons, but i do know that it will never be able to separate me from God.
hmmmm, all i seem to be thinking about is how everything relates and goes back to God. i suppose that's a good thing...but now for at least one stupid thought.
i was doing my math hw earlier tonight and i felt really gross from eating a corndog. all of that oil and fat concentrated in that small piece of food. you know when you eat really greasy food, your face gets all oily and disgusting? well as i was thinking about this, i realized that i hadn't gotten a pimple in a LONG time! i remember back in high school, i'd get a new one as SOON as i had finished healing an old one. i would never ever have a clear face that was devoid of acne. i mean, don't get me wrong...i was no pizza face. my parents both have very decent skin so my face didn't explode or anything in my adolescent years. but i just thought it was cool how i hadn't had a pimple in SUCH a long time! i mean, we have those tiny baby ones around our foreheads that no one can see, but those don't really count. i'm talking about REAL pimples! those hill monsters that must be digged out carefully. the worst ones are the ones that grow on your nose. fudge, i hate them so much i'm not going to even bother to write about them.
Thought of the Day: Danny's mom has got it goin' on!
Song of the Day: Praise Team-Holy Is The Lord
November 13, 2003
my brother's xanga entry:
it was 7:50 and i just arrived school. i was just doing my usual thing: go to my locker, drops some stuff off or pick some stuff up and go chill with my friends before going to class. so while i was at my locker, there were these two girls. they were both cute too. so i was just taking some stuff out of my back pack and i over hear their conversation:
Girl 1: dang, i don't know who i'm going to hc with!
Girl 2: well he IS kinda hot, unless you think he's too fat.
Me: i'm not fat! i'm just chubby ok?!?!?!
Girl 2: huh? what are you talking about? who're you?
and i quickly closed my locker and left.
my brother makes me so proud.
i weigh 140 pounds. tapeworms.
Thought of the Day: D.
Song of the Day: 2pac & Biggie-Runnin' (Uncensored)
it was 7:50 and i just arrived school. i was just doing my usual thing: go to my locker, drops some stuff off or pick some stuff up and go chill with my friends before going to class. so while i was at my locker, there were these two girls. they were both cute too. so i was just taking some stuff out of my back pack and i over hear their conversation:
Girl 1: dang, i don't know who i'm going to hc with!
Girl 2: well he IS kinda hot, unless you think he's too fat.
Me: i'm not fat! i'm just chubby ok?!?!?!
Girl 2: huh? what are you talking about? who're you?
and i quickly closed my locker and left.
my brother makes me so proud.
i weigh 140 pounds. tapeworms.
Thought of the Day: D.
Song of the Day: 2pac & Biggie-Runnin' (Uncensored)
November 10, 2003
i watched Love Actually with carol and janet on friday. this movie has finally confirmed everything...kiera knightly is the prettiest girl in the whole world. you know the girl is pretty when you stop paying attention to plot and sound b/c all your senses are inevitably concentrated on that beautiful face. man, she had the perfect hairstyle too...BANGS! i LOVE girls with bangs. i seriously do not understand why girls these days do not have bangs! i'm not talking about those short baby wimpy bangs. i'm talking about long strands that go past the chin! yes reader, i've always found it so attractive on girls. but i suppose the rarity of the hairstyle also adds to the attraction. we all like what is uncommon no? yeah, i'm gonna make my wife have pretty bangs...even if it means divorce. but before i go off topic, i must add that kiera knightly also has a wonderful english accent. i love it i love it i love her! if i ever find out that she's a reformed calvinistic woman of God, i'm packing my bags and moving to england.
Thought of the Day: Too many compliments for one day.
Song of the Day: Billy Mack-Christmas Is All Around
Thought of the Day: Too many compliments for one day.
Song of the Day: Billy Mack-Christmas Is All Around
November 6, 2003
you know, i've visited my blogger page alot of times but i never ended up writing anything. too many distracting conversations all tiring me out for the day (you hear me, carol?).
in my film studies class, the professor shows us short clips of different movies to give us examples of the many concepts she goes over in lecture. this freakin' lady is seriously the biggest teaser! she'll show us like the most interesting movies for like 2 min. and RIGHT when we're about to hit the climax, the pause button is hit, the lights turn back on, and out come the AWWWWWWWs. it makes me so angry b/c these clips are from movies that i've never even heard of! they're fun to watch as a class, but not fun enough to go out and rent on your own. there are even times where she'll just tell us the ending to the movie "just because." F! however, i am still continuing to enjoy this class very much along with my fellow classmates. someday, i'm going to tackle the professor and undo the pause. oh i can hear the applause already. =D
another class i'm taking this quarter is beginning calculus. with math, i was never an A student, but i really appreciate the material. i think it's so amazing how many formulas and theorems are all so organized and work out together. this awesome design and order of numbers in this language we call math...there is no way man could have come up with such a thing. the ideas and theories behind it all is just a glimpse of God's awesomeness.
but speaking of math, don't you just love it when you solve the most difficult problems? you know those crazy word problems (we all hate those stupid word problems) that give you "The Givens" and you have to find "The Unknowns." you have to figure out which formula or equation will work and you struggle with all those inconvenient numbers (why do we have a number like "pie?"). but in the end, we write out that long ugly number and check in the answer book. *gasp* "i got it right! problem #1 done. 50 more to go." but seriously, isn't that like the greatest feeling? it's freakin' rewarding! i think that's one thing i like about math...
another subject that is really rewarding is writing. writing takes up a grip of your time with all that reading and editing and dictionary and thesaurus and office hours. so much time and effort. so much thought and emotion. but when you get that paper back from the professor and see an unexpected A, you are so happy! you almost convince yourself that all those hours were so worth it...almost. yeah, writing is also definitely a rewarding subject. hmmmm, why am i talking about these things?
the other day, me, dykas, and sean went to garden grove to go watch Matrix. "i'm sorry, we're not showing today. it opens tomorrow." then why do you have showtimes on the internet? why do you have the words, "The Matrix" up on your list of movies outside? we had to do SOMETHING for coming all the way to garden grove, so we watched Scary Movie 3. yeap, just as bad as the first two. but you know what? now that i think about it, i think i actually enjoyed this movie more than Matrix Revolutions, which i just saw a few hours ago. ok here it comes...if you don't like hearing critique, particularly from me, right now would be a good time to just skip to the next paragraph. i HATED Matrix Revolutions. right after the movie ended, i couldn't believe how bad it was that i started laughing by myself. i couldn't believe how bad that movie was. to be honest, i think this was one of the worst movies i've ever seen in my life. HARSH i sound right now! not enough fight scenes. the few fight scenes were weak. just a bad bad ending. those clever matrix producers stealing all of our money. a sharp contrast with aaron...
aaron: what'd you think?
me: (trying to be nice). i thought it was ok.
aaron: just ok?
me: did you like it?
aaron: i loved it!
me: (smile).
aaron: the ending was GREAT!
me: (fake smile).
well on the bright side, if you haven't seen the movie yet, you'll be going in with pretty low expectations if you took my words seriously. hopefully, you'll enjoy it much more than i did b/c i honestly believe that out of everyone who's seen it so far, i feel the most indignation. i'm actually happy for people like aaron and in many ways, i wish i could just simply enjoy many movies like him. i think when it comes to movies, i am just one fastidious bastard...well, at least i always share the same opinion with my brother.
today, dykas and i had the girlfriend talk. we both promised each other that we'd have at least one girlfriend before Nov. 5, 2005. we both agreed that if we did not hold to this pact, it meant that we would not get married and we'll probably end up devoting our lives to the missions field. lol.
alrite, i'm done digesting Carl's Jr. i think i can put the body to rest now.
Thought of the Day: "Brrrreeeuuuuhhh!"
Song of the Day: WC-Gangsta Nation
in my film studies class, the professor shows us short clips of different movies to give us examples of the many concepts she goes over in lecture. this freakin' lady is seriously the biggest teaser! she'll show us like the most interesting movies for like 2 min. and RIGHT when we're about to hit the climax, the pause button is hit, the lights turn back on, and out come the AWWWWWWWs. it makes me so angry b/c these clips are from movies that i've never even heard of! they're fun to watch as a class, but not fun enough to go out and rent on your own. there are even times where she'll just tell us the ending to the movie "just because." F! however, i am still continuing to enjoy this class very much along with my fellow classmates. someday, i'm going to tackle the professor and undo the pause. oh i can hear the applause already. =D
another class i'm taking this quarter is beginning calculus. with math, i was never an A student, but i really appreciate the material. i think it's so amazing how many formulas and theorems are all so organized and work out together. this awesome design and order of numbers in this language we call math...there is no way man could have come up with such a thing. the ideas and theories behind it all is just a glimpse of God's awesomeness.
but speaking of math, don't you just love it when you solve the most difficult problems? you know those crazy word problems (we all hate those stupid word problems) that give you "The Givens" and you have to find "The Unknowns." you have to figure out which formula or equation will work and you struggle with all those inconvenient numbers (why do we have a number like "pie?"). but in the end, we write out that long ugly number and check in the answer book. *gasp* "i got it right! problem #1 done. 50 more to go." but seriously, isn't that like the greatest feeling? it's freakin' rewarding! i think that's one thing i like about math...
another subject that is really rewarding is writing. writing takes up a grip of your time with all that reading and editing and dictionary and thesaurus and office hours. so much time and effort. so much thought and emotion. but when you get that paper back from the professor and see an unexpected A, you are so happy! you almost convince yourself that all those hours were so worth it...almost. yeah, writing is also definitely a rewarding subject. hmmmm, why am i talking about these things?
the other day, me, dykas, and sean went to garden grove to go watch Matrix. "i'm sorry, we're not showing today. it opens tomorrow." then why do you have showtimes on the internet? why do you have the words, "The Matrix" up on your list of movies outside? we had to do SOMETHING for coming all the way to garden grove, so we watched Scary Movie 3. yeap, just as bad as the first two. but you know what? now that i think about it, i think i actually enjoyed this movie more than Matrix Revolutions, which i just saw a few hours ago. ok here it comes...if you don't like hearing critique, particularly from me, right now would be a good time to just skip to the next paragraph. i HATED Matrix Revolutions. right after the movie ended, i couldn't believe how bad it was that i started laughing by myself. i couldn't believe how bad that movie was. to be honest, i think this was one of the worst movies i've ever seen in my life. HARSH i sound right now! not enough fight scenes. the few fight scenes were weak. just a bad bad ending. those clever matrix producers stealing all of our money. a sharp contrast with aaron...
aaron: what'd you think?
me: (trying to be nice). i thought it was ok.
aaron: just ok?
me: did you like it?
aaron: i loved it!
me: (smile).
aaron: the ending was GREAT!
me: (fake smile).
well on the bright side, if you haven't seen the movie yet, you'll be going in with pretty low expectations if you took my words seriously. hopefully, you'll enjoy it much more than i did b/c i honestly believe that out of everyone who's seen it so far, i feel the most indignation. i'm actually happy for people like aaron and in many ways, i wish i could just simply enjoy many movies like him. i think when it comes to movies, i am just one fastidious bastard...well, at least i always share the same opinion with my brother.
today, dykas and i had the girlfriend talk. we both promised each other that we'd have at least one girlfriend before Nov. 5, 2005. we both agreed that if we did not hold to this pact, it meant that we would not get married and we'll probably end up devoting our lives to the missions field. lol.
alrite, i'm done digesting Carl's Jr. i think i can put the body to rest now.
Thought of the Day: "Brrrreeeuuuuhhh!"
Song of the Day: WC-Gangsta Nation
November 2, 2003
chilloween...
so much better than i expected. a very good turnout in numbers and the food was excellent. man, dennis' new place is really nice...you can definitely imagine having x-mas sleepovers at that place. me gusta! oh when i was looking through his rooms, i spotted his bookshelf of theological books. ANY yg student who saw what i saw would automatically be reminded of chang. lol. lots of singing, laughing, charades, and punishments. rain was another thumbs up. that stinkin' piece of ash, i mean my car really needed a good shower of rain. man, i hadn't seen a nice pouring of rain in a while. it was so refreshing! i think of all the halloweens, this was my favorite one. "HEY, everyone listen up!" lol.
outreach...
my student's name is Michiyoshi. he's a 6th grader from Japan...like RIGHT off the boat. anyways, he's a really bright student, especially in "maass" (math). before i started tutoring him, dan song was his teacher and apparently he was very cool with him. everytime we have a break, michiyoshi draws a picture of any ugly person, draws and arrow with the word, "YOU" and airplanes it dan song's head. lol. cracks me up everytime...
dan: what're you teaching your student?
me: ahahahahahhaha.
but i think it's great how we're using our new building for reaching out to the community. however, i think it'd be greater if we had some more willing hearts to volunteer and put this building to better use. ideally, we're supposed to have one teacher per student. right now, it's like less than 10 teachers with 20 students? if you're busy with alotta stuff, i totally understand. but if you can sacrifice your saturday sleepins to help us out, that'd be awesome (Romans 12:1).
no studying vs. spending too much money...
i ate dongchimee with carol again. i think it's one of my favorite things to eat now...nengmyun and bulgogi were so meant to be together.
i didn't get to study b/c too many people came to visit irvine.
result: Brother Bear with mariela, crawford, carol, and simon (more money) and in n out afterwards (more more more!).
result's result: in approximately 1 hour, i will start my arduous journey of books and flash cards until my 1pm class tomorrow. i haven't crammed in a long time so i'm gonna be a little rusty tonight.
i am a sinner. i need grace everyday.
Thought of the Day: 1 Cor. 12:7-10
Song of the Day: Give You My World Album
so much better than i expected. a very good turnout in numbers and the food was excellent. man, dennis' new place is really nice...you can definitely imagine having x-mas sleepovers at that place. me gusta! oh when i was looking through his rooms, i spotted his bookshelf of theological books. ANY yg student who saw what i saw would automatically be reminded of chang. lol. lots of singing, laughing, charades, and punishments. rain was another thumbs up. that stinkin' piece of ash, i mean my car really needed a good shower of rain. man, i hadn't seen a nice pouring of rain in a while. it was so refreshing! i think of all the halloweens, this was my favorite one. "HEY, everyone listen up!" lol.
outreach...
my student's name is Michiyoshi. he's a 6th grader from Japan...like RIGHT off the boat. anyways, he's a really bright student, especially in "maass" (math). before i started tutoring him, dan song was his teacher and apparently he was very cool with him. everytime we have a break, michiyoshi draws a picture of any ugly person, draws and arrow with the word, "YOU" and airplanes it dan song's head. lol. cracks me up everytime...
dan: what're you teaching your student?
me: ahahahahahhaha.
but i think it's great how we're using our new building for reaching out to the community. however, i think it'd be greater if we had some more willing hearts to volunteer and put this building to better use. ideally, we're supposed to have one teacher per student. right now, it's like less than 10 teachers with 20 students? if you're busy with alotta stuff, i totally understand. but if you can sacrifice your saturday sleepins to help us out, that'd be awesome (Romans 12:1).
no studying vs. spending too much money...
i ate dongchimee with carol again. i think it's one of my favorite things to eat now...nengmyun and bulgogi were so meant to be together.
i didn't get to study b/c too many people came to visit irvine.
result: Brother Bear with mariela, crawford, carol, and simon (more money) and in n out afterwards (more more more!).
result's result: in approximately 1 hour, i will start my arduous journey of books and flash cards until my 1pm class tomorrow. i haven't crammed in a long time so i'm gonna be a little rusty tonight.
i am a sinner. i need grace everyday.
Thought of the Day: 1 Cor. 12:7-10
Song of the Day: Give You My World Album
October 31, 2003
just got back from la.
irvine vs. usc...8 wins 3 losses:
dykas is the most dangerous baller i know b/c his appearance is SO deceptive. for his weight and height, he can jump and drive really really well. he can read people very well when he's playing D so he averages one block per game. but his most dangerous skill is his consistent shot. that's really the only reason why we won today. he scored 80% of all our points! i used to hate playing with dykas before but now he's my favorite person to play with. i don't know if he can say the same about me but that's ok...every team has to have at least one sucky player. =D i like playing with joey too...aka LFM (last five min.) and PND (plays no defense). lol.
chonos:
ghetto burrito joint. burrito wasn't that great but my hunger enjoyed it.
kcm:
pretty reluctant to go but majority outruled. speakers talked about Jesus or personal testimony but ended up concluding by encouraging everyone to come out to a winter conference. !!! it was as if all of tonight's messages were geared towards promoting that one event! good intentions but dude, your presentation was totally taking away all the glory!
home cafe:
fobs are so funny. fobs are so greedy (dduk whore). albert is a fob.
rewind....
7am. Midas. tired. radiator. leak. replacement. $365. F.
i've spent about $1000 on fixing my car now. that's 200% of what i bought my car for. can there possibly be anymore problems? my goal is to be able to use it through sophomore year. that'd be a great accomplishment.
another hilarious
Thought of the Day: "Ssagaajee!"
Song of the Day: CB Mass-Movement
irvine vs. usc...8 wins 3 losses:
dykas is the most dangerous baller i know b/c his appearance is SO deceptive. for his weight and height, he can jump and drive really really well. he can read people very well when he's playing D so he averages one block per game. but his most dangerous skill is his consistent shot. that's really the only reason why we won today. he scored 80% of all our points! i used to hate playing with dykas before but now he's my favorite person to play with. i don't know if he can say the same about me but that's ok...every team has to have at least one sucky player. =D i like playing with joey too...aka LFM (last five min.) and PND (plays no defense). lol.
chonos:
ghetto burrito joint. burrito wasn't that great but my hunger enjoyed it.
kcm:
pretty reluctant to go but majority outruled. speakers talked about Jesus or personal testimony but ended up concluding by encouraging everyone to come out to a winter conference. !!! it was as if all of tonight's messages were geared towards promoting that one event! good intentions but dude, your presentation was totally taking away all the glory!
home cafe:
fobs are so funny. fobs are so greedy (dduk whore). albert is a fob.
rewind....
7am. Midas. tired. radiator. leak. replacement. $365. F.
i've spent about $1000 on fixing my car now. that's 200% of what i bought my car for. can there possibly be anymore problems? my goal is to be able to use it through sophomore year. that'd be a great accomplishment.
another hilarious
Thought of the Day: "Ssagaajee!"
Song of the Day: CB Mass-Movement
October 29, 2003
tonight, i was chilling with a whole bunch of college group people at someone's house. just mindless fun, eating, laughing, and looking around the house. i remember making april and esther park (la freshmen) crack up so hard and all of our faces turning red. anyways, i went to the living room where it was nice and cool so i just sat on the sofa. hey, they set up their coffee table just like drew's apt.! after playing around with the funny remote control, i found out how to access the batcave and later found out that eugene was really batman! nice try, eugene...
i was never really interested in the circus until tonight. i was with someone but currently my memory seems to be failing me. so many great events with the giraffes and the fireworks and the colors. beautiful. my friend that was accompanying me became really cool with the circus owner and started working in his office. anyways, it was time to go and i remember being raised REALLY high on one of the giraffe's necks. oh the life-threatening height! clinging onto the man's shirt, i apologized and he told me not to worry about it. arrival: San Francisco. my friend finds the circus owner a very attractive korean girl who looks really similar to Tia Carrere, except she's a fob. it's just like you see it in tv when the friend tries to hook you up with a really nice person.
after the show, dinko and i get dropped off at my car near the beach late at night. farewell to the circus and hello to 4 flat tires! two cross dressers who really looked like women offered to help but i refused. apologies to dinko and he gives me his smile and tells me not to worry. i'm so pissed and stressed that i wanna cry. i shake my head telling myself that this HAD to be a dream...
and i'm still grateful that it was. my car was low on coolant about a month ago so i stopped by Jiffy Lube and got it all taken care of. this past sunday, my car started heating up so i filled it up with coolant again. today, i pulled out of my parking spot at school and saw a whole buncha green on the ground. *shaking fist* my car ALWAYS has problems! as a result, i need to take my car to Midas at 7:30 in the morning tomorrow. car trouble always gives you stress. stress gives you naps with bad dreams.
Thought of the Day: Not so excited about Thursday morning.
Song of the Day: Blink 182-Feeling This
i was never really interested in the circus until tonight. i was with someone but currently my memory seems to be failing me. so many great events with the giraffes and the fireworks and the colors. beautiful. my friend that was accompanying me became really cool with the circus owner and started working in his office. anyways, it was time to go and i remember being raised REALLY high on one of the giraffe's necks. oh the life-threatening height! clinging onto the man's shirt, i apologized and he told me not to worry about it. arrival: San Francisco. my friend finds the circus owner a very attractive korean girl who looks really similar to Tia Carrere, except she's a fob. it's just like you see it in tv when the friend tries to hook you up with a really nice person.
after the show, dinko and i get dropped off at my car near the beach late at night. farewell to the circus and hello to 4 flat tires! two cross dressers who really looked like women offered to help but i refused. apologies to dinko and he gives me his smile and tells me not to worry. i'm so pissed and stressed that i wanna cry. i shake my head telling myself that this HAD to be a dream...
and i'm still grateful that it was. my car was low on coolant about a month ago so i stopped by Jiffy Lube and got it all taken care of. this past sunday, my car started heating up so i filled it up with coolant again. today, i pulled out of my parking spot at school and saw a whole buncha green on the ground. *shaking fist* my car ALWAYS has problems! as a result, i need to take my car to Midas at 7:30 in the morning tomorrow. car trouble always gives you stress. stress gives you naps with bad dreams.
Thought of the Day: Not so excited about Thursday morning.
Song of the Day: Blink 182-Feeling This
yesterday...
me: dillon, do you know what common and proper nouns are?
dillon: yes. common noun would be like "boy." proper noun would be "Dillon." common noun, "girl." proper noun, "Jordan."
me: ahhahahahahahah.
jordan: hey shuttup!
as immature as it sounds, i thought it was some high quality humor!
in the beginning of my senior year, i began studying apologetics with chang. i remember that past summer, alot of my friends were going to take the Humanities course so their summer reading happened to be the Bible! i remember in my past experiences, my favorite argument against atheists was, "have you ever read the whole Bible? how can you say that the Bible isn't true if you haven't read the book?" so this was in a sense, payback time and oh yeah, i was going to pay. these unbelieving sinners finished that 1000 page book in 2 months while i had my whole life to pace myself, and hadn't even finished a single testament. oh yes, i was convicted! i even remember the night that i began Genesis. it was Barnes & Noble, the one next to Hillsdale. i was determined to finish the sucker in 3 months. (smile).
well, i've been through alot since that night i started to read the Bible. over the months, i was reading the Old Testament straight up. big mistake. i think i struggled alot in those months w/o any New Testament nourishment. in those months, i learned that you need a healthy balance of the two testaments. not JUST NEW or JUST OLD, but a little bit of BOTH! one thing i take pride in is the fact that i was very consistent with my Bible reading despite the lack of ANY accountability from anyone. even though no one asked me how i was doing scripturally, by the grace of God i was one consistent bastard. even after those regretful mornings in the dorms, i always managed to open up the book and read to start off my day.
that same boy who promised chang that he'd finish the Bible in three months has finally finished today. not to boast, but rather to encourage: if phil can read the whole Bible, ANYBODY can read the whole Bible!
thanks for the haircut, dykas.
i like this
Thought of the Day: I'm so excited about Thursday.
Song of the Day: Phil Wickham-Jesus, Lord Of Heaven
me: dillon, do you know what common and proper nouns are?
dillon: yes. common noun would be like "boy." proper noun would be "Dillon." common noun, "girl." proper noun, "Jordan."
me: ahhahahahahahah.
jordan: hey shuttup!
as immature as it sounds, i thought it was some high quality humor!
in the beginning of my senior year, i began studying apologetics with chang. i remember that past summer, alot of my friends were going to take the Humanities course so their summer reading happened to be the Bible! i remember in my past experiences, my favorite argument against atheists was, "have you ever read the whole Bible? how can you say that the Bible isn't true if you haven't read the book?" so this was in a sense, payback time and oh yeah, i was going to pay. these unbelieving sinners finished that 1000 page book in 2 months while i had my whole life to pace myself, and hadn't even finished a single testament. oh yes, i was convicted! i even remember the night that i began Genesis. it was Barnes & Noble, the one next to Hillsdale. i was determined to finish the sucker in 3 months. (smile).
well, i've been through alot since that night i started to read the Bible. over the months, i was reading the Old Testament straight up. big mistake. i think i struggled alot in those months w/o any New Testament nourishment. in those months, i learned that you need a healthy balance of the two testaments. not JUST NEW or JUST OLD, but a little bit of BOTH! one thing i take pride in is the fact that i was very consistent with my Bible reading despite the lack of ANY accountability from anyone. even though no one asked me how i was doing scripturally, by the grace of God i was one consistent bastard. even after those regretful mornings in the dorms, i always managed to open up the book and read to start off my day.
that same boy who promised chang that he'd finish the Bible in three months has finally finished today. not to boast, but rather to encourage: if phil can read the whole Bible, ANYBODY can read the whole Bible!
thanks for the haircut, dykas.
i like this
Thought of the Day: I'm so excited about Thursday.
Song of the Day: Phil Wickham-Jesus, Lord Of Heaven
October 25, 2003
i'm in one of those rare moods where i actually FEEL like blogging! perhaps it is b/c i am done with my first round of midterms. perhaps it is b/c the weekend has finally come. perhaps it is b/c i am digesting my beloved double-double. perhaps it is b/c i am listening to dinko's Audioslave-Like A Stone. perhaps i am just so randomly happy right now...
my math midterm was freakin' difficult. so many problems with so little time. so many derivatives with so little space. but there's no point in worrying about it now. i'm done and there's nothing i can do about it. i tried and i tried and i even found myself enjoying math MUCH more than senior year. may God be pleased!
tonight for bible study, we went over Predestination! ooooooo what a topic! i am so encouraged whenever we study the fundamentals of reformed theology. i LOVE it! so we're going over this huge topic and i actually found myself having NO doubts or questions at all. i was kinda surprised/discouraged to see so many people with such "basic" questions concerning Romans 9 and Ephesians 1. that's the arrogant and sinful side of me talking. i was so blessed to have a teacher like chang to teach me all the goods at such a young age. i am so grateful to God that He has given me such understanding and knowledge concerning these reformed truths. i rejoice in these mysteries as i see more and more of God's glory. all glory to Him. i know i say that alot but may it be true!
tonight, i talked to ben kang for the first time. i've never actually shared anything or even prayed with him before. it's funny how that arrogant bastard can say some encouraging things to you...not cliches, but things you've actually never heard before. i almost feel energized for the first time, all encouraged to live more passionately in this sinful world. God can even use droopy-eyed ben for good purposes!
i never enjoyed reading the book of Revelations until recently. as a child, this book was one of the scariest books to ever be written in history. the destruction, the persecution of christians, the battle against Satan. but now that i have a better understanding of eschatology, i find this book to be so much more encouraging! apart from the fallen angels, evil dragons, and falling believers, there is the coming of Christ! with all the sin and chaos in this world, there will be Christ! we're all going home guys...we're finally going home! and i'll get to say my "all glory to Him"'s forever and ever. encouraging.
Thought of the Day: "Who do you like?"
Song of the Day: Jars Of Clay-Flood
my math midterm was freakin' difficult. so many problems with so little time. so many derivatives with so little space. but there's no point in worrying about it now. i'm done and there's nothing i can do about it. i tried and i tried and i even found myself enjoying math MUCH more than senior year. may God be pleased!
tonight for bible study, we went over Predestination! ooooooo what a topic! i am so encouraged whenever we study the fundamentals of reformed theology. i LOVE it! so we're going over this huge topic and i actually found myself having NO doubts or questions at all. i was kinda surprised/discouraged to see so many people with such "basic" questions concerning Romans 9 and Ephesians 1. that's the arrogant and sinful side of me talking. i was so blessed to have a teacher like chang to teach me all the goods at such a young age. i am so grateful to God that He has given me such understanding and knowledge concerning these reformed truths. i rejoice in these mysteries as i see more and more of God's glory. all glory to Him. i know i say that alot but may it be true!
tonight, i talked to ben kang for the first time. i've never actually shared anything or even prayed with him before. it's funny how that arrogant bastard can say some encouraging things to you...not cliches, but things you've actually never heard before. i almost feel energized for the first time, all encouraged to live more passionately in this sinful world. God can even use droopy-eyed ben for good purposes!
i never enjoyed reading the book of Revelations until recently. as a child, this book was one of the scariest books to ever be written in history. the destruction, the persecution of christians, the battle against Satan. but now that i have a better understanding of eschatology, i find this book to be so much more encouraging! apart from the fallen angels, evil dragons, and falling believers, there is the coming of Christ! with all the sin and chaos in this world, there will be Christ! we're all going home guys...we're finally going home! and i'll get to say my "all glory to Him"'s forever and ever. encouraging.
Thought of the Day: "Who do you like?"
Song of the Day: Jars Of Clay-Flood
October 24, 2003
i made a pretty big move with my students today. everyone knows that kids absolutely cannot sit still for more than one minute. jordan likes to put his feet on my legs, rock his chair, lean on me, punch me in the face, flick my face...HARRASS ME! dillon likes to rock back and forth, take the book off the table and position it so that i cannot see the words, stand on top of the chair, and pick his ear with a pencil. yeah, i don't like that last one either. so as i was saying, i made a pretty big move with my students today. i got so sick of all this fidgeting from these restless kids that i offered them a deal...
me: jordan, you're like a monkey! you just won't sit still! you wanna hug me, put your feet on me, and lean on me! MONKEY BOY!!!
jordan: ahahahahhah. i'm not a monkey!
me: ok i'll tell you what. jordan, if you can sit still w/o moving around ONCE, i'll give you anything you want!
jordan: *gasp*
me: dillon, ANYTHING you want!
dillon: (smiles and stares off into space).
you see, my plan was to see what they wanted and to just give them their rewards for x-mas, while they attempted to sit still the whole time. it'd be like killing 2 birds with 1 stone! i thought there was no way they could sit still for the whole 30 min. or 1 hour w/o rocking that cursed chair once or touching any part of my body. they are to sit just as i sit! so after i explain the rules to dillon, we go for a practice run today. that kid did not budge once! freakin' a, the bastard really wants that pokemon game. looks like the birds are going to throw that stone back at me.
Thought of the Day: (tanx)'=-sec^2 x
Song of the Day: Justin Timberlake-Like I Love You
me: jordan, you're like a monkey! you just won't sit still! you wanna hug me, put your feet on me, and lean on me! MONKEY BOY!!!
jordan: ahahahahhah. i'm not a monkey!
me: ok i'll tell you what. jordan, if you can sit still w/o moving around ONCE, i'll give you anything you want!
jordan: *gasp*
me: dillon, ANYTHING you want!
dillon: (smiles and stares off into space).
you see, my plan was to see what they wanted and to just give them their rewards for x-mas, while they attempted to sit still the whole time. it'd be like killing 2 birds with 1 stone! i thought there was no way they could sit still for the whole 30 min. or 1 hour w/o rocking that cursed chair once or touching any part of my body. they are to sit just as i sit! so after i explain the rules to dillon, we go for a practice run today. that kid did not budge once! freakin' a, the bastard really wants that pokemon game. looks like the birds are going to throw that stone back at me.
Thought of the Day: (tanx)'=-sec^2 x
Song of the Day: Justin Timberlake-Like I Love You
October 22, 2003
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid: | Moderate |
| Schizoid: | Low |
| Schizotypal: | Low |
| Antisocial: | Moderate |
| Borderline: | Low |
| Histrionic: | Low |
| Narcissistic: | Moderate |
| Avoidant: | Moderate |
| Dependent: | Low |
| Obsessive-Compulsive: | Low |
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- | |
i'm a much healthier person compared to last year.
Thought of the Day: Chili's was a bad idea.
Song of the Day: INOJ-Love You Down
October 21, 2003
i'm really enjoying my film studies class right now. ever since i started taking the class, my whole perspective on advertisement has changed. like when i watch commercials or see ads in magazines, i see what they're REALLY trying to sell. it's kinda like how neo sees the matrix as it really is with all the codes and junk. when i watch a commercial, i no longer enjoy it like i used to cause i'm too busy analyzing it now. but i really enjoy talking about film stuff with hannah. we both agree that we cannot discuss such things with "the ignorant," while we can appeciate these stupid things by ourselves...
me: hey, you see his hands? you should talk about how they're old so it's directed more towards an older audience.
hannah: oh yeah! like being old means wisdom!
me: oh yeah! that's good...like experienced and stuff!
hannah: yeah!
we are so cool.
there's been this recurring theme of dealing with temptations in my life lately. like in my book, The Purpose Driven Life, it was talking about fighting temptations and being faithful. and this sunday, dennis preached about how every temptation we face is an opportunity to be faithful to God. the same exact theme in 3 days! sounds and looks like a coincidence but i strongly disagree! but really, this idea of having an "opportunity" has really encouraged me to be faithful in numerous different situations. Jesus faced every temptation and never fell. may we strive to be like Christ!
random: you know what really bothers and annoys me? you know when people pray and do that whole "lord father God father lord" crap? you know, the whole..."Dear heavenly father lord god, we thank you for this day heavenly father lord god." (shaking head). they say that phase at least twice in every sentence of their prayer! what i'm thinking is...do you not know what saying the Lord's name in vain means? lemme give you an example by iming carol right now...
Pretzelboi96 (12:32:45 AM): carol, how was your day today carol?
cRzYkRnGaL (12:32:47 AM): oh
cRzYkRnGaL (12:32:48 AM): haha
cRzYkRnGaL (12:33:06 AM): hmm... it was pretty tiring actually
Pretzelboi96 (12:33:27 AM): what was so tiring about it carol?
cRzYkRnGaL (12:34:20 AM): i think the weekend just caught up with me and i was extremely tired
Pretzelboi96 (12:34:41 AM): carol, you should rest carol
cRzYkRnGaL (12:34:44 AM): cuz i drove around a lot over the weekend... going to cerritos, back to r-side... blahblah then to la blahblah
cRzYkRnGaL (12:35:03 AM): haha.. phil are u just saying that so u can leave too phil?
Pretzelboi96 (12:35:11 AM): lol
and now olivia...
Pretzelboi96 (12:33:05 AM): olivia
Pretzelboi96 (12:33:12 AM): what'd you do today olivia?
SwTpiNkStaR (12:33:13 AM): /
SwTpiNkStaR (12:33:30 AM): i told u
SwTpiNkStaR (12:33:34 AM): is this phiL?
Pretzelboi96 (12:33:40 AM): olivia, i asked you how it was
Pretzelboi96 (12:33:44 AM): not what you did olivia
Pretzelboi96 (12:34:06 AM): and yes olivia, this is phil
SwTpiNkStaR (12:34:38 AM): why do u keep sayin mai name?
SwTpiNkStaR (12:34:49 AM): ok...
Pretzelboi96 (12:34:52 AM): olivia, does it sound foolish when i'm saying your name?
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:01 AM): no...it's BEAUTIFUL
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:09 AM): but u sound weird phil
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:12 AM): like it's not phil
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:15 AM): but ok
Pretzelboi96 (12:35:16 AM): lol
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:16 AM): anyways
Pretzelboi96 (12:35:23 AM): just an experiment
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:36 AM): experiment?
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:40 AM): why phil?
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:46 AM): is it supposed to sound foolish phil?
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:56 AM): when u keep repeating someone's name phil?
see my point?
if there is one name we should not be abusing, it should be the LORD'S! i understand that sometimes we're just trying to emphasize how He's our father and God and whatnot, but more often that not...it's mindless. if you're a victim, please do change or im me and i'll war with you. otherwise, spread the word if you're in consent! =D
Thought of the Day: Illegibility has consequences.
Song of the Day: Avril Lavigne-My World
me: hey, you see his hands? you should talk about how they're old so it's directed more towards an older audience.
hannah: oh yeah! like being old means wisdom!
me: oh yeah! that's good...like experienced and stuff!
hannah: yeah!
we are so cool.
there's been this recurring theme of dealing with temptations in my life lately. like in my book, The Purpose Driven Life, it was talking about fighting temptations and being faithful. and this sunday, dennis preached about how every temptation we face is an opportunity to be faithful to God. the same exact theme in 3 days! sounds and looks like a coincidence but i strongly disagree! but really, this idea of having an "opportunity" has really encouraged me to be faithful in numerous different situations. Jesus faced every temptation and never fell. may we strive to be like Christ!
random: you know what really bothers and annoys me? you know when people pray and do that whole "lord father God father lord" crap? you know, the whole..."Dear heavenly father lord god, we thank you for this day heavenly father lord god." (shaking head). they say that phase at least twice in every sentence of their prayer! what i'm thinking is...do you not know what saying the Lord's name in vain means? lemme give you an example by iming carol right now...
Pretzelboi96 (12:32:45 AM): carol, how was your day today carol?
cRzYkRnGaL (12:32:47 AM): oh
cRzYkRnGaL (12:32:48 AM): haha
cRzYkRnGaL (12:33:06 AM): hmm... it was pretty tiring actually
Pretzelboi96 (12:33:27 AM): what was so tiring about it carol?
cRzYkRnGaL (12:34:20 AM): i think the weekend just caught up with me and i was extremely tired
Pretzelboi96 (12:34:41 AM): carol, you should rest carol
cRzYkRnGaL (12:34:44 AM): cuz i drove around a lot over the weekend... going to cerritos, back to r-side... blahblah then to la blahblah
cRzYkRnGaL (12:35:03 AM): haha.. phil are u just saying that so u can leave too phil?
Pretzelboi96 (12:35:11 AM): lol
and now olivia...
Pretzelboi96 (12:33:05 AM): olivia
Pretzelboi96 (12:33:12 AM): what'd you do today olivia?
SwTpiNkStaR (12:33:13 AM): /
SwTpiNkStaR (12:33:30 AM): i told u
SwTpiNkStaR (12:33:34 AM): is this phiL?
Pretzelboi96 (12:33:40 AM): olivia, i asked you how it was
Pretzelboi96 (12:33:44 AM): not what you did olivia
Pretzelboi96 (12:34:06 AM): and yes olivia, this is phil
SwTpiNkStaR (12:34:38 AM): why do u keep sayin mai name?
SwTpiNkStaR (12:34:49 AM): ok...
Pretzelboi96 (12:34:52 AM): olivia, does it sound foolish when i'm saying your name?
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:01 AM): no...it's BEAUTIFUL
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:09 AM): but u sound weird phil
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:12 AM): like it's not phil
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:15 AM): but ok
Pretzelboi96 (12:35:16 AM): lol
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:16 AM): anyways
Pretzelboi96 (12:35:23 AM): just an experiment
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:36 AM): experiment?
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:40 AM): why phil?
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:46 AM): is it supposed to sound foolish phil?
SwTpiNkStaR (12:35:56 AM): when u keep repeating someone's name phil?
see my point?
if there is one name we should not be abusing, it should be the LORD'S! i understand that sometimes we're just trying to emphasize how He's our father and God and whatnot, but more often that not...it's mindless. if you're a victim, please do change or im me and i'll war with you. otherwise, spread the word if you're in consent! =D
Thought of the Day: Illegibility has consequences.
Song of the Day: Avril Lavigne-My World
October 17, 2003
aaron: guys make fun of each other. that's how they bond.
eddie: then how do girls bond? they cry huh? they cry together and become closer to each other.
joe: hey, do you play ball?
freshmen: no, i'm REALLY bad!
joe: oooooooo really? you wanna play for money?
ahahahahahhha.
Thought of the Day: Bacardi Limon. Unexpected.
Song of the Day: Chris Tomlin-Holy Is The Lord
eddie: then how do girls bond? they cry huh? they cry together and become closer to each other.
joe: hey, do you play ball?
freshmen: no, i'm REALLY bad!
joe: oooooooo really? you wanna play for money?
ahahahahahhha.
Thought of the Day: Bacardi Limon. Unexpected.
Song of the Day: Chris Tomlin-Holy Is The Lord
October 15, 2003
i'm sure everyone can agree with me that we're all relieved that cafe nite is over. that day was seriously killing me physically. when you're too stressed out, your body won't allow you to fall asleep. with only 2 hours of sleep, saturday was really working me...even if i wasn't as productive as the rest of cpc. anyways, a little disappointed that almost every person in irvine who was supposed to come did not come. but people DID come and that's all that matters. dinko and zenia did a terrific job MCing. great videos. every performance definitely reflected all those hours of practice...lol, dinko's the man! praise God for a very decent cafe nite!
Kill Bill is good. i knew it was going to be good. if you made a movie like Pulp Fiction, you are one dope bastard.
tutoring has been going through some weird stages lately. basically, dillon and jordan have switched roles in who gets to be the bastard student. i think b/c i was so cool with jordan, he saw me more as a friend than a teacher. as a result, he's been trying to step all over me and not expect me to be productive with him. man, i really dislike scolding him b/c i know he gets all sullen and starts hating our times together. on the contrary, my times with dillon have become alot better. i've learned that he's a very smart student and he's been hating it b/c i was going too slow. well, i'm kinda letting him lead the way and i think he's been enjoying it these days. why can't i just have two very good students? i mean, those kids get to have a really good teacher! =D
anyways, i think my days of stress have finally settled down. i am all caught up with my readings for film studies. it's good to have a regular pace of school now. all those hours at common's. seriously, it is only by God's grace that i could've done all that reading. only by His grace.
we started clusters last night. looks like we have a group of 14 if everyone comes out. freakin' a, you call that a small group? more like the Church of Irvine. haha. anyways, it was good. we all gave charges to the year below us and ended in prayer. nice way to start off our year of clusters. gosh, we have so much pride in our clusters group. we know that we shouldn't be but we all know we're such an awesome group. no one dislikes going to clusters. but irvine clusters or not, may God really work in every group this year.
i met J at the arc tonight. man, i really need to go visit everyone.
i got rid of all my popups and succesfully installed Easy CD Creator 5 Platinum.
Thought of the Day: "Vegas baby! AAAAAAHHHHH!"
Song of the Day: Chris Tomlin-Holy Is The Lord
Kill Bill is good. i knew it was going to be good. if you made a movie like Pulp Fiction, you are one dope bastard.
tutoring has been going through some weird stages lately. basically, dillon and jordan have switched roles in who gets to be the bastard student. i think b/c i was so cool with jordan, he saw me more as a friend than a teacher. as a result, he's been trying to step all over me and not expect me to be productive with him. man, i really dislike scolding him b/c i know he gets all sullen and starts hating our times together. on the contrary, my times with dillon have become alot better. i've learned that he's a very smart student and he's been hating it b/c i was going too slow. well, i'm kinda letting him lead the way and i think he's been enjoying it these days. why can't i just have two very good students? i mean, those kids get to have a really good teacher! =D
anyways, i think my days of stress have finally settled down. i am all caught up with my readings for film studies. it's good to have a regular pace of school now. all those hours at common's. seriously, it is only by God's grace that i could've done all that reading. only by His grace.
we started clusters last night. looks like we have a group of 14 if everyone comes out. freakin' a, you call that a small group? more like the Church of Irvine. haha. anyways, it was good. we all gave charges to the year below us and ended in prayer. nice way to start off our year of clusters. gosh, we have so much pride in our clusters group. we know that we shouldn't be but we all know we're such an awesome group. no one dislikes going to clusters. but irvine clusters or not, may God really work in every group this year.
i met J at the arc tonight. man, i really need to go visit everyone.
i got rid of all my popups and succesfully installed Easy CD Creator 5 Platinum.
Thought of the Day: "Vegas baby! AAAAAAHHHHH!"
Song of the Day: Chris Tomlin-Holy Is The Lord
October 11, 2003
"Your most profound and intimate experiences of worship will likely be in your darkest days-when your heart is broken, when you feel abandoned, when you're out of options, when the pain is great-and you turn to God alone. It is during suffering that we learn to pray our most authentic, heartfelt, honest-to-God prayers. When we're in pain, we don't have the energy for supeficial prayers."
-Rick Warren
Thought of the Day: Our skit is going to be dope.
Song of the Day: Party Song
-Rick Warren
Thought of the Day: Our skit is going to be dope.
Song of the Day: Party Song
October 10, 2003
1st half of thursday was BAD...
1. i really dislike it when the teacher is willing to hold up the whole class just b/c some dumb students have some dumb questions. "is there going to a problem like #39 on the quiz?" the teacher says no and still goes over the whole problem just b/c of the student doesn't understand. after that tedious process, we just start all over again with another raised hand.
2. film studies discussion. icons, symbols, and market value. they all speak of a language that i do not understand. stop looking at me, expecting to hear some intelligent contribution to the group. lost - Past tense and past participle of lose. lose - To fail to hear, see, or understand.
3. korean-1st draft story due monday. cafe nite is really preventing any productive school work from happening.
4. effect: 10 min. late to tutoring. cause: driving on campus instead of harvard. 2 REALLY bad drivers caused me to stop at 2 min. red lights. "GOD! WHY?!"
2nd half of thursday was GOOD...
1. actually fell alseep and woke up 2 hours later.
2. find parking at hannah's place and enter right in time for Friends.
3. delectable pie.
4. go over all film studies lectures/studios in 2 hours. the material i find interest. i've never had so much gratitude for hannah.
5. visit jack's place. nice place.
6. get a chunk of the film studies reading done. the contrast b/w the readings from history and film studies is incredible. i was actually enjoying what i was reading earlier tonight. this stuff on film and art and media is so interesting! and dude, you can't go wrong with books that are loaded with pictures. out of there by 2am.
7. find parking!
i concluded the night with a praise to God...hands lifted up and looking up into the sky. a very content smile...
let's just hope that smile can last throughout the weekend.
Thought of the Day: Dykas liked Swingers!
Song of the Day: Tamaki Nami-Realize
1. i really dislike it when the teacher is willing to hold up the whole class just b/c some dumb students have some dumb questions. "is there going to a problem like #39 on the quiz?" the teacher says no and still goes over the whole problem just b/c of the student doesn't understand. after that tedious process, we just start all over again with another raised hand.
2. film studies discussion. icons, symbols, and market value. they all speak of a language that i do not understand. stop looking at me, expecting to hear some intelligent contribution to the group. lost - Past tense and past participle of lose. lose - To fail to hear, see, or understand.
3. korean-1st draft story due monday. cafe nite is really preventing any productive school work from happening.
4. effect: 10 min. late to tutoring. cause: driving on campus instead of harvard. 2 REALLY bad drivers caused me to stop at 2 min. red lights. "GOD! WHY?!"
2nd half of thursday was GOOD...
1. actually fell alseep and woke up 2 hours later.
2. find parking at hannah's place and enter right in time for Friends.
3. delectable pie.
4. go over all film studies lectures/studios in 2 hours. the material i find interest. i've never had so much gratitude for hannah.
5. visit jack's place. nice place.
6. get a chunk of the film studies reading done. the contrast b/w the readings from history and film studies is incredible. i was actually enjoying what i was reading earlier tonight. this stuff on film and art and media is so interesting! and dude, you can't go wrong with books that are loaded with pictures. out of there by 2am.
7. find parking!
i concluded the night with a praise to God...hands lifted up and looking up into the sky. a very content smile...
let's just hope that smile can last throughout the weekend.
Thought of the Day: Dykas liked Swingers!
Song of the Day: Tamaki Nami-Realize
October 9, 2003
as you can tell from my last entry, i've been pretty stressed out with school...particularly with history. b/c i hadn't finished the reading that day, i finished it yesterday in common's. just sat there and read. you read and don't stop until you've come to an end of a chapter. you read even if you don't understand words that show up in every paragraph like "kleptocracy." curse that word cause i don't care! i need to get this reading done!
so basically, i ended up finishing ALL of it around 1am last night and signed onto aim...
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:41:32 AM): wut happened?!!
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:41:38 AM): did u get added?
Pretzelboi96 (1:41:47 AM): looks like it's not going to happen
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:41:51 AM): awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:41:52 AM): awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:41:54 AM): awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:41:56 AM): freaking...
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:42:02 AM): y did u figure out ur passion for film studies so lATE!
(checking email).
Pretzelboi96 (1:42:18 AM): omg wait
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:42:29 AM): ??
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:22 AM): haha
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:43:26 AM): ????
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:28 AM): ok so i guess i can add
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:43:29 AM): awwwww freaking
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:43:32 AM): u cAN?!
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:43:33 AM): u got in?!!
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:34 AM): i just got an email
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:38 AM): tomorrow
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:39 AM): 5pm
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:43:39 AM): YAY!!!!
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:41 AM): her office
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:46 AM): omg dude
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:43:53 AM): YAYAYAYAY
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:54 AM): i read 133 pages yesterday and today for history
Pretzelboi96 (1:44:04 AM): i JUST finished reading 15 min. ago
Pretzelboi96 (1:44:12 AM): literally 7 hours of reading
Pretzelboi96 (1:44:23 AM): i had a feeling something like this was going to happen
i didn't know whether to feel happy or angry. it was a little bit of both. there's still a part of me that is angry about all the pointless reading/stressing i did. i even hesitated to go to the professor's office today to add the class, wondering if it really was worth it. i've missed 2 weeks of lectures and studio. but after a talk with hannah, i think i'm going to give it a try. point of no return. do or die. hit or miss. no pain, no gain. no guts, no glory. if i'm going down, i'm going down in flames. if you know you're going to get wet anyways, might as well go swimming. ok shuttup.
that market thing on ring road finally came this week. i bought 2 posters...the Rap Gods one that i always wanted and a Swingers poster! "Baby, you are so money, and you don't even know it man!!" lol. that's what it says at the bottom with this tight pose of trent, mikey, and lou. once i bought that poster, i knew right away that Swingers was my favorite movie. ignorance, immaturity, and insecurity of guys...all nicely grafted into a hilarious movie. you love it b/c you can relate. girls love it b/c they see it happening in real life. somebody hurry and get this movie another award!
cafe nite this saturday. dykas and i actually practiced the whole skit today and it looks alot better than when we first started. starting next week, my life should be getting a whole lot better. class schedules, working days, and steady church activities beginning next week. we can do this guys! hwateeng!
Thought of the Day: C-P-C!!!
Song of the Day: Schubert-Ave Maria
so basically, i ended up finishing ALL of it around 1am last night and signed onto aim...
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:41:32 AM): wut happened?!!
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:41:38 AM): did u get added?
Pretzelboi96 (1:41:47 AM): looks like it's not going to happen
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:41:51 AM): awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:41:52 AM): awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:41:54 AM): awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:41:56 AM): freaking...
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:42:02 AM): y did u figure out ur passion for film studies so lATE!
(checking email).
Pretzelboi96 (1:42:18 AM): omg wait
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:42:29 AM): ??
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:22 AM): haha
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:43:26 AM): ????
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:28 AM): ok so i guess i can add
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:43:29 AM): awwwww freaking
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:43:32 AM): u cAN?!
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:43:33 AM): u got in?!!
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:34 AM): i just got an email
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:38 AM): tomorrow
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:39 AM): 5pm
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:43:39 AM): YAY!!!!
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:41 AM): her office
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:46 AM): omg dude
hAnNaH bAnAnA xP (1:43:53 AM): YAYAYAYAY
Pretzelboi96 (1:43:54 AM): i read 133 pages yesterday and today for history
Pretzelboi96 (1:44:04 AM): i JUST finished reading 15 min. ago
Pretzelboi96 (1:44:12 AM): literally 7 hours of reading
Pretzelboi96 (1:44:23 AM): i had a feeling something like this was going to happen
i didn't know whether to feel happy or angry. it was a little bit of both. there's still a part of me that is angry about all the pointless reading/stressing i did. i even hesitated to go to the professor's office today to add the class, wondering if it really was worth it. i've missed 2 weeks of lectures and studio. but after a talk with hannah, i think i'm going to give it a try. point of no return. do or die. hit or miss. no pain, no gain. no guts, no glory. if i'm going down, i'm going down in flames. if you know you're going to get wet anyways, might as well go swimming. ok shuttup.
that market thing on ring road finally came this week. i bought 2 posters...the Rap Gods one that i always wanted and a Swingers poster! "Baby, you are so money, and you don't even know it man!!" lol. that's what it says at the bottom with this tight pose of trent, mikey, and lou. once i bought that poster, i knew right away that Swingers was my favorite movie. ignorance, immaturity, and insecurity of guys...all nicely grafted into a hilarious movie. you love it b/c you can relate. girls love it b/c they see it happening in real life. somebody hurry and get this movie another award!
cafe nite this saturday. dykas and i actually practiced the whole skit today and it looks alot better than when we first started. starting next week, my life should be getting a whole lot better. class schedules, working days, and steady church activities beginning next week. we can do this guys! hwateeng!
Thought of the Day: C-P-C!!!
Song of the Day: Schubert-Ave Maria
October 7, 2003
a day of humility...
1. i don't have a printout of my history lecture notes.
2. film studies not added. looks very unlikely.
3. shin ramen is CUP shin ramen! dissatisfying. glasses of milk only add to the diarrhea.
4. decide not to tutor due to lack of strength.
5. cannot even fall asleep for an energizing nap.
6. fall asleep around 6:30 and wake up to phone calls.
7. bad dinner.
8. 5 hours of reading and still do not finish reading 133 pages on history of Southeastern Asia and crops of fruit.
9. find out that i was supposed to tutor at 6:30 today. postponed to tomorrow at 8. gonna miss the first meeting of clusters.
10. no parking in Parkwest. two parking spots are taken up by one car. resort to parking next to Chevron. btw, this is at 1am.
11. not much rice left in the cooker ready for me to eat tomorrow morning.
ok that last one was forced but i am just tired, stressed, and distressed.
James 1:2-3-Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
it is when we are humbled that we depend on God the most. don't complain phil.
Thought of the Day: The End.
Song of the Day: David Crowder-Holy Is The Lord
1. i don't have a printout of my history lecture notes.
2. film studies not added. looks very unlikely.
3. shin ramen is CUP shin ramen! dissatisfying. glasses of milk only add to the diarrhea.
4. decide not to tutor due to lack of strength.
5. cannot even fall asleep for an energizing nap.
6. fall asleep around 6:30 and wake up to phone calls.
7. bad dinner.
8. 5 hours of reading and still do not finish reading 133 pages on history of Southeastern Asia and crops of fruit.
9. find out that i was supposed to tutor at 6:30 today. postponed to tomorrow at 8. gonna miss the first meeting of clusters.
10. no parking in Parkwest. two parking spots are taken up by one car. resort to parking next to Chevron. btw, this is at 1am.
11. not much rice left in the cooker ready for me to eat tomorrow morning.
ok that last one was forced but i am just tired, stressed, and distressed.
James 1:2-3-Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
it is when we are humbled that we depend on God the most. don't complain phil.
Thought of the Day: The End.
Song of the Day: David Crowder-Holy Is The Lord
October 6, 2003
man, so many freshmen every week...
1. ken.
2. erica.
3. joyce.
4. yo-han.
5. julie.
6. fred.
asking them the same questions and giving them the same advice. so many stinkin' freshmen.
anyways, i really wanna drop history. i had a talk with hannah and she was telling me all these wonderful things about film studies. that's all i could think about these days. will the professor add me tomorrow even though there's a "waitlist?" will others drop it for whatever reason so that i can replace them? God was giving me all the signs...
1. history is a GRIP of reading.
2. minh's in my discussion.
3. film studies is supposed to be REALLY good.
4. if i drop history, my earliest class will be at 12!
i was thinking today about how i'm part of welcoming committee and how i'm supposed to be real welcoming to new visitors. then a crazy thought struck my head! what if minh came out to cpc? how would i act towards him? would i even greet him? man, we as christians are not supposed to have beef with anybody. i'm probably the worst example of a christian in his life. i really should've cleared things up with him right before i left the dorms. i don't have to LIKE him, but i should've at least reconciled. now, i'm just left with awkwardness and shame. oh the weight of pride.
today's message on prayer was a really good message. i wasn't enjoying it much at the time, but when i think about it i can't help but feel compelled to PRAY! we ought to pray all the time for it is a sign of reverence and humility to our God. how awesome it is to even have the privilege of coming before our Lord and calling Him, Father. only by His love and grace. we should really take advantage of prayer as well. we should never be lacking in prayer and thanksgiving. AMEN!
another thing i realized today...
i met yo-han at ccm on wednesday and took him home from church today. that guy seriously just loves talking about God and nothing else...kinda reminded me of darren. however, when i started talking to julie or fred, we'd talk more about superficial things like school and people. the sad thing was that i felt more comfortable talking to fred and julie, while alotta my conversation with yo-han was kinda forced. man, i've become so shallow, so consumed with this world that i would prefer to talk about stupid meaningless things over talking about God. the Bible says that the words that come out of our mouth often reflect our heart. sinful.
the christian life is all about seeing more of your sinfulness and seeing more of God's holiness. it's humbling but i think at the same time it should be encouraging. how AWESOME it is that we have a God who is SO much holier than us.
Romans 5:20-21- The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
oh how this is hitting me on the head right now! praise God!
Thought of the Day: I think I'm pretty.
Song of the Day: Chris Tomlin-Holy Is The Lord
1. ken.
2. erica.
3. joyce.
4. yo-han.
5. julie.
6. fred.
asking them the same questions and giving them the same advice. so many stinkin' freshmen.
anyways, i really wanna drop history. i had a talk with hannah and she was telling me all these wonderful things about film studies. that's all i could think about these days. will the professor add me tomorrow even though there's a "waitlist?" will others drop it for whatever reason so that i can replace them? God was giving me all the signs...
1. history is a GRIP of reading.
2. minh's in my discussion.
3. film studies is supposed to be REALLY good.
4. if i drop history, my earliest class will be at 12!
i was thinking today about how i'm part of welcoming committee and how i'm supposed to be real welcoming to new visitors. then a crazy thought struck my head! what if minh came out to cpc? how would i act towards him? would i even greet him? man, we as christians are not supposed to have beef with anybody. i'm probably the worst example of a christian in his life. i really should've cleared things up with him right before i left the dorms. i don't have to LIKE him, but i should've at least reconciled. now, i'm just left with awkwardness and shame. oh the weight of pride.
today's message on prayer was a really good message. i wasn't enjoying it much at the time, but when i think about it i can't help but feel compelled to PRAY! we ought to pray all the time for it is a sign of reverence and humility to our God. how awesome it is to even have the privilege of coming before our Lord and calling Him, Father. only by His love and grace. we should really take advantage of prayer as well. we should never be lacking in prayer and thanksgiving. AMEN!
another thing i realized today...
i met yo-han at ccm on wednesday and took him home from church today. that guy seriously just loves talking about God and nothing else...kinda reminded me of darren. however, when i started talking to julie or fred, we'd talk more about superficial things like school and people. the sad thing was that i felt more comfortable talking to fred and julie, while alotta my conversation with yo-han was kinda forced. man, i've become so shallow, so consumed with this world that i would prefer to talk about stupid meaningless things over talking about God. the Bible says that the words that come out of our mouth often reflect our heart. sinful.
the christian life is all about seeing more of your sinfulness and seeing more of God's holiness. it's humbling but i think at the same time it should be encouraging. how AWESOME it is that we have a God who is SO much holier than us.
Romans 5:20-21- The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
oh how this is hitting me on the head right now! praise God!
Thought of the Day: I think I'm pretty.
Song of the Day: Chris Tomlin-Holy Is The Lord
October 4, 2003
You're a CASUAL AIM-ER! Congrats, you're
normal...or you're pretending to be.
What kind of AIM-er are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Thought of the Day: Errands.
Song of the Day: Wax-Money
October 3, 2003
man, i can't believe i'm blogging right now.
man, i was so productive today. after class, i studied at common's for the first time in my life. i actually went inside and read my stupid history book for 2 hours. yeah i took a nap for 15 min. but the point is, i actually sat there and accomplished my goal.
brandywine really sucks now. eddie swiped me in for dinner so i was really excited to eat some good ol' pasta and phillycheesesteak sandwiches with my caesar salad. *angry sigh* no more salad and no pasta. fries are same as pippin's and common's and the sandwiches aren't even the same. that budget cut is really hurting us students. i mean, the poor freshmen can't even enjoy brandywine like i did. and if they can't enjoy it, that means i can't enjoy it with them. that schwarzenegger better do something about it if he becomes governor. "calilflower." lol.
is it just me or does this season of Friends really suck? i'm seriously only watching it now to see what's going to happen b/w rachel, ross, and joey. the cast is so not funny anymore. you can even hear the audience forcing their laughs. goodness, the writers must be hating it right now.
so as i was saying, i was really productive today. i actually went to go work out at the arc b/c of sean's motivational im. man, it feels SO good to be working out again. my 2 mile time wasn't so bad either-18:23. but gosh, i was seriously hating it on the last half mile. haha. i remember telling myself that i'm never ever going to eat greasy food again. i started thinking about the dorm food i had eaten for dinner, last night's midnight Doritos, and that cheesy pizza from Domino's with my roommates. fiiiiig that was good. haha. but FUDGE i was hating it on the last half mile.
i saw alotta people at the arc today...joyce, joanne, ted, james, joe, simon, gerald, euggie (lol), ashley, joe, eddie, cpc eddie, allan, john, and kris! man, kris changed sooo much...
kris: phil.
me: (looking around).
kris: phil, it's me!
me: (stare).
kris: KRIS!
me: (staring some more)...omg, i didn't even recognize you. you look SO different!
kris: really? how?
me: maybe it's the makeup.
kris: i'm not wearing any makeup. but i did lose 15 pounds.
me: yeah! you got alot skinnier. wow!
man, her face lost like alotta fat. you can see her cheekbones and stuff now. woman, you gotta gain some weight! but she got alot prettier. =D
so i'm all caught up with my reading. i read a good 80 pages on cavemen and food production. cavemen stuff is boring. food production was actually interesting. i think i'm actually going to get alot out of this history course. it's OH SO MUCH READING but i can't deny that i'm learning.
i still can't remember why i decided to blog tonight.
Thought of the Day: "Big L, rest in peace!"
Song of the Day: Gangstar-Full Clip
man, i was so productive today. after class, i studied at common's for the first time in my life. i actually went inside and read my stupid history book for 2 hours. yeah i took a nap for 15 min. but the point is, i actually sat there and accomplished my goal.
brandywine really sucks now. eddie swiped me in for dinner so i was really excited to eat some good ol' pasta and phillycheesesteak sandwiches with my caesar salad. *angry sigh* no more salad and no pasta. fries are same as pippin's and common's and the sandwiches aren't even the same. that budget cut is really hurting us students. i mean, the poor freshmen can't even enjoy brandywine like i did. and if they can't enjoy it, that means i can't enjoy it with them. that schwarzenegger better do something about it if he becomes governor. "calilflower." lol.
is it just me or does this season of Friends really suck? i'm seriously only watching it now to see what's going to happen b/w rachel, ross, and joey. the cast is so not funny anymore. you can even hear the audience forcing their laughs. goodness, the writers must be hating it right now.
so as i was saying, i was really productive today. i actually went to go work out at the arc b/c of sean's motivational im. man, it feels SO good to be working out again. my 2 mile time wasn't so bad either-18:23. but gosh, i was seriously hating it on the last half mile. haha. i remember telling myself that i'm never ever going to eat greasy food again. i started thinking about the dorm food i had eaten for dinner, last night's midnight Doritos, and that cheesy pizza from Domino's with my roommates. fiiiiig that was good. haha. but FUDGE i was hating it on the last half mile.
i saw alotta people at the arc today...joyce, joanne, ted, james, joe, simon, gerald, euggie (lol), ashley, joe, eddie, cpc eddie, allan, john, and kris! man, kris changed sooo much...
kris: phil.
me: (looking around).
kris: phil, it's me!
me: (stare).
kris: KRIS!
me: (staring some more)...omg, i didn't even recognize you. you look SO different!
kris: really? how?
me: maybe it's the makeup.
kris: i'm not wearing any makeup. but i did lose 15 pounds.
me: yeah! you got alot skinnier. wow!
man, her face lost like alotta fat. you can see her cheekbones and stuff now. woman, you gotta gain some weight! but she got alot prettier. =D
so i'm all caught up with my reading. i read a good 80 pages on cavemen and food production. cavemen stuff is boring. food production was actually interesting. i think i'm actually going to get alot out of this history course. it's OH SO MUCH READING but i can't deny that i'm learning.
i still can't remember why i decided to blog tonight.
Thought of the Day: "Big L, rest in peace!"
Song of the Day: Gangstar-Full Clip
October 2, 2003
venting thoughts...
i guess this is the first official week of school. this year is SO much busier than freshmen year. i think it's mainly b/c i'm working and going to school now. it just takes up alotta time and energy. i leave the apt. at 11 and come home at 5:30 everyday. draining. i seriously do not see anyway for me to make time to work out cause by the time i get home, i just won't have enough energy to study (like i do anyways right?). inconsistent. man, i really wanna start working out again too. when i'm this discouraged, how the heck am i going to manage next year? am i doomed to stay out of shape forever?
last night, i started watching Gaeul Donghwa with dykas on his computer cause we got the cds from a friend. that was definitely my most favorite drama ever. i remember watching that crap during my junior year. my brother and i watched the first two videos so many times cause we liked it so much. it's like whatevers now but at the time, it was SO DEPRESSING as if it were in real life...
(in spanish AP taking a test)...
me: (stare). *sigh*
lol. my brother always cracks up when i tell him about that incident. but yeah, song hye gyo is still so attractive. i can't believe she was like only 18 or 19 at the time. good stuff man.
well i had a pretty long day today. class from 11-3 nonstop and tutor til 5. you know what's crazy? last night, i had a dream of my old dorm roommate, minh. if you don't remember, we ended on pretty bad terms and didn't even say bye to each other on the last day. so anyways, i had a dream about him which is really weird b/c i've never dreamt about him in my life. well like most dreams, i didn't remember what happened but i just forgot about it and went to school. the thing is, i heard from one of my friends that he was taking the same history class as me. i didn't think much of it since it's a pretty big lecture hall and you usually can't see people you know anyways.
so i go to my tiny tiny discussion section today. woah, richard's in this class...and he's in my discussion too! what a coincidence. so about 15 min. into the class, door opens, and in walks minh. i straight up said in my head, "GOD, that is so not funny!" of all the classes, of all the discussions, we just had to end up in the same one. and unforutnately, discussion is mandatory and part of your grade so yeah, i'll be seeing him every time there's class. oh the awkwardness...i hate it. i wonder how hard God is laughing right now.
better news: my two kids are liking me more and more. i know jordan enjoys studying with me cause we have alot of fun...
me: "voices." jordan, use that in a sentence.
jordan: philip has many strange voices.
me: ahahhahahaha.
as i was leaving today...
jordan: you know philip...
mom: yeah, you like him alot huh?
jordan: no, is he coming tomorrow?
GRIN.
i think dillon's liking me more too. no hard evidence but i got a hunch. very subtle things. the best part is that i can see them improving little by little. praise God!
speaking of which, i went out to ccm today for the first time in a long time. lots of old familiar faces and a handful of new freshmen. but i made a big decision today: i'm going to stop going out to ccm. i never went for the "fellowship" or accountability or whatever. i just went out to meet people cause i didn't know too many christians my freshmen year. but now, i just feel like i'm going and i'm wasting my time. i don't feel like socializing and they just go out and eat more often than i can afford...especially with new freshmen and all. haha. now i understand why genie and eugene stopped coming out last year. it all makes sense now. however, i still encourage freshmen to go to these clubs to meet people. great place to meet people and occasional good messages. that's about it.
i don't know if it's b/c i'm really busy these days but i really enjoy spending time in the apt. it's just so quiet and relaxing. i can just sit at my computer and listen to music. i can do my hw and study in solitude. i can sleep and eat with no trouble at all. ugh, what am i kidding...i'm getting old.
Thought of the Day: Exhausted.
Song of the Day: Notorious BIG-Going Back To Cali
i guess this is the first official week of school. this year is SO much busier than freshmen year. i think it's mainly b/c i'm working and going to school now. it just takes up alotta time and energy. i leave the apt. at 11 and come home at 5:30 everyday. draining. i seriously do not see anyway for me to make time to work out cause by the time i get home, i just won't have enough energy to study (like i do anyways right?). inconsistent. man, i really wanna start working out again too. when i'm this discouraged, how the heck am i going to manage next year? am i doomed to stay out of shape forever?
last night, i started watching Gaeul Donghwa with dykas on his computer cause we got the cds from a friend. that was definitely my most favorite drama ever. i remember watching that crap during my junior year. my brother and i watched the first two videos so many times cause we liked it so much. it's like whatevers now but at the time, it was SO DEPRESSING as if it were in real life...
(in spanish AP taking a test)...
me: (stare). *sigh*
lol. my brother always cracks up when i tell him about that incident. but yeah, song hye gyo is still so attractive. i can't believe she was like only 18 or 19 at the time. good stuff man.
well i had a pretty long day today. class from 11-3 nonstop and tutor til 5. you know what's crazy? last night, i had a dream of my old dorm roommate, minh. if you don't remember, we ended on pretty bad terms and didn't even say bye to each other on the last day. so anyways, i had a dream about him which is really weird b/c i've never dreamt about him in my life. well like most dreams, i didn't remember what happened but i just forgot about it and went to school. the thing is, i heard from one of my friends that he was taking the same history class as me. i didn't think much of it since it's a pretty big lecture hall and you usually can't see people you know anyways.
so i go to my tiny tiny discussion section today. woah, richard's in this class...and he's in my discussion too! what a coincidence. so about 15 min. into the class, door opens, and in walks minh. i straight up said in my head, "GOD, that is so not funny!" of all the classes, of all the discussions, we just had to end up in the same one. and unforutnately, discussion is mandatory and part of your grade so yeah, i'll be seeing him every time there's class. oh the awkwardness...i hate it. i wonder how hard God is laughing right now.
better news: my two kids are liking me more and more. i know jordan enjoys studying with me cause we have alot of fun...
me: "voices." jordan, use that in a sentence.
jordan: philip has many strange voices.
me: ahahhahahaha.
as i was leaving today...
jordan: you know philip...
mom: yeah, you like him alot huh?
jordan: no, is he coming tomorrow?
GRIN.
i think dillon's liking me more too. no hard evidence but i got a hunch. very subtle things. the best part is that i can see them improving little by little. praise God!
speaking of which, i went out to ccm today for the first time in a long time. lots of old familiar faces and a handful of new freshmen. but i made a big decision today: i'm going to stop going out to ccm. i never went for the "fellowship" or accountability or whatever. i just went out to meet people cause i didn't know too many christians my freshmen year. but now, i just feel like i'm going and i'm wasting my time. i don't feel like socializing and they just go out and eat more often than i can afford...especially with new freshmen and all. haha. now i understand why genie and eugene stopped coming out last year. it all makes sense now. however, i still encourage freshmen to go to these clubs to meet people. great place to meet people and occasional good messages. that's about it.
i don't know if it's b/c i'm really busy these days but i really enjoy spending time in the apt. it's just so quiet and relaxing. i can just sit at my computer and listen to music. i can do my hw and study in solitude. i can sleep and eat with no trouble at all. ugh, what am i kidding...i'm getting old.
Thought of the Day: Exhausted.
Song of the Day: Notorious BIG-Going Back To Cali
September 28, 2003
i slept too much on saturday. 11 hours at night and 2 hours during the day. our bodies were not meant to be dormant for more than half a day. i am punished with insomnia on this early sunday morning.
as i was tossing and turning in my bed, i started thinking about the new freshmen of this year. i've been trying to give alotta advice to the new students and encourage them to do things differently from my past. but i've come to realize that i sound just like any other old guy who told me the same things right before i became a freshmen. you listen to what they have to say, you nod your head, and try to understand just what the heck they were talking about. the truth is, you're not going to understand what i was talking about until you've actually experienced it...and boy are they going to experience alot
-the lonely first two weeks
-dorm food, meal after meal
-visiting home and feeling really different (this does not apply to deprived Cerritos residents)
-getting lost on campus
-cramming like you've never crammed before
-meeting hundreds of people and being asked where you're from and what your major is
-LOVING dormlife
-HATING dormlife
-using your feet as your main source of transportation
-late night foodruns
-homesickness
i remember dave and i were talking about different transitions that we make in life. we both agreed that the transition from high school senior year to college freshmen year is a HUGE step. when you take a high school senior and a college freshmen, you have two people on different planets. you just experience so much in that first year. man, you're either going to fall hard or grow hard.
so enough about them and more about ME! i am now a sophomore in college. i feel like i've become so much more independent in these past few months. as i was eating dinner by myself today, i thought about how i'm doing a pretty good job of taking care of myself. i really feel like i can live in this so called world and really manage ok. i've had plenty of work experience. i can go to the market and cook my own meals. i even know how to pay my own bills. if i am lacking something, i know how to meet the need. if there is a problem, i will be able to find a solution. look at me mom, i'm all growed up!
Philippians 2:12-13- Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
i was sitting for a while and just thinking about my spiritual life these days. all i could think of was SINNER. this idea of having an attitude of "fear and trembling," is really incredible. this God that we serve and love and pray to...how often do we come before Him in fear and trembling? our omnipotent and sovereign God that we are to revere, do we really fear Him? i was reviewing tomorrow's Bible study and read through the first two chapters of Judges.
Judges 2:4- When the angel of the Lord had spoken these things to all the Israelites, the people wept aloud
seriously, the only times that i will fear God is when He disciplines me and i am humbled. it's like my sinful nature will not allow me to have this fear and love for God unless i am broken. WHY?! i mean, we're called to live these holy lives with holy attitudes and i can't do it. i'm just so dry and i try and try but i just cannot. so i continue to sit and stare and continue thinking to myself, SINNER. i read and pray and i feel like i can only ask God to break me so that i would live a more obedient life that is pleasing to Him.
but i suppose i keep forgetting the second part of the verse in Philippians: "for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." it is God who works in me and not myself. it is only by HIM that i can have an attitude of fear and trembling. our God is a God of grace. i cannot forget that. it is only by his grace that we can do all things.
Philippians 1:6- that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until th day of Christ Jesus.
praise God.
Thought of the Day: Grace.
Song of the Day: David Crowder-Deliver Me
as i was tossing and turning in my bed, i started thinking about the new freshmen of this year. i've been trying to give alotta advice to the new students and encourage them to do things differently from my past. but i've come to realize that i sound just like any other old guy who told me the same things right before i became a freshmen. you listen to what they have to say, you nod your head, and try to understand just what the heck they were talking about. the truth is, you're not going to understand what i was talking about until you've actually experienced it...and boy are they going to experience alot
-the lonely first two weeks
-dorm food, meal after meal
-visiting home and feeling really different (this does not apply to deprived Cerritos residents)
-getting lost on campus
-cramming like you've never crammed before
-meeting hundreds of people and being asked where you're from and what your major is
-LOVING dormlife
-HATING dormlife
-using your feet as your main source of transportation
-late night foodruns
-homesickness
i remember dave and i were talking about different transitions that we make in life. we both agreed that the transition from high school senior year to college freshmen year is a HUGE step. when you take a high school senior and a college freshmen, you have two people on different planets. you just experience so much in that first year. man, you're either going to fall hard or grow hard.
so enough about them and more about ME! i am now a sophomore in college. i feel like i've become so much more independent in these past few months. as i was eating dinner by myself today, i thought about how i'm doing a pretty good job of taking care of myself. i really feel like i can live in this so called world and really manage ok. i've had plenty of work experience. i can go to the market and cook my own meals. i even know how to pay my own bills. if i am lacking something, i know how to meet the need. if there is a problem, i will be able to find a solution. look at me mom, i'm all growed up!
Philippians 2:12-13- Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
i was sitting for a while and just thinking about my spiritual life these days. all i could think of was SINNER. this idea of having an attitude of "fear and trembling," is really incredible. this God that we serve and love and pray to...how often do we come before Him in fear and trembling? our omnipotent and sovereign God that we are to revere, do we really fear Him? i was reviewing tomorrow's Bible study and read through the first two chapters of Judges.
Judges 2:4- When the angel of the Lord had spoken these things to all the Israelites, the people wept aloud
seriously, the only times that i will fear God is when He disciplines me and i am humbled. it's like my sinful nature will not allow me to have this fear and love for God unless i am broken. WHY?! i mean, we're called to live these holy lives with holy attitudes and i can't do it. i'm just so dry and i try and try but i just cannot. so i continue to sit and stare and continue thinking to myself, SINNER. i read and pray and i feel like i can only ask God to break me so that i would live a more obedient life that is pleasing to Him.
but i suppose i keep forgetting the second part of the verse in Philippians: "for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." it is God who works in me and not myself. it is only by HIM that i can have an attitude of fear and trembling. our God is a God of grace. i cannot forget that. it is only by his grace that we can do all things.
Philippians 1:6- that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until th day of Christ Jesus.
praise God.
Thought of the Day: Grace.
Song of the Day: David Crowder-Deliver Me
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