i just read my Nov. 17, 2002 blog entry from last year. thinking back, exactly one year ago i was SO not the same person i am today. one year ago, i was just struggling alot spiritually. so much indulgence and sin. i think i was at a state so low that even if i could go back in time and talk to the old phil, he still wouldn't listen to me. a very hard-heartened, discouraged, and sad person i was. i never would have thought i could be capable of such wickedness. but i do believe that even in my rebellious acts, God was/is sovereign. He can even use sin to ultimately bring glory to Himself. now that i think back, if i hadn't experienced those times of struggle, i wouldn't be able to give effective advice to friends of mine who are struggling with the similar things. i would not have become friends with alot of my dormmates who i try to evangelize to today. if i hadn't experienced those difficult times, i wouldn't be sitting here on my computer, reminicising the past and praising God for His love and grace. but it all goes back to Romans 5:20-21-6:1-2-"The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through rightesouness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?" Amen.

today at outreach, we had more volunteers for tutoring come out! i find it so encouraging to see more and more people join me in my misery. i mean if carol took me down, i'm going to take others with me! haha, JUST kidding! but really, not only is it alot easier on the rest of the teachers, but it's just so nice to see more hearts that are willing to serve. i think Pastor Andy made a very good point before we started our tutoring session today. he reminded everyone about 1 Cor. 10:31 (one my favorites)-"Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." he explained how whenever we become miserable or stressed out in ANYTHING that we do, we have totally lost focus of why we are doing what we are doing. if your motives have become so man-centered and independent of God, you are totally going to burn out and just be hating it. but whenever you have the mentality of doing it for God's glory, your deeds and actions become so much more meaningful. the end results are more rewarding, but most of all it pleases God. reader, whether you have that sucky job that barely pays over minimum wage or you have that math midterm to study for even though you are certain that you'll never see those equations ever again, whether you have to make some stupid collage that has nothing to do with English or you have to go to work while everyone else is watching that movie that just came out, think about WHY you are doing it. is merely just to make money or pass the class with a certain grade? is it merely just to accomplish the assignment or to keep yourself from being fired? May It Be SOLI DEO GLORIA.

for some reason, i've been hearing much about the topic of demon possession this year. we've all had those talks where we've heard about some guy who heard about some girl who was possessed by a demon or some garbage like that. now, i'm not bashing on the existence of demons or even the possibility of a demon entering a person's body. it is clear in the Bible that demons really do exist and that they have disturbed people in the past. i've even heard about people that I KNOW IN REAL LIFE who have had past experiences with hearing disturbing voices in their head...really scary stuff. when we all talk about these things, everyone gets all scared b/c of the thought of being possessed by a demon. i just think that it's really unimportant and not worth being afraid of. once again, i am not bashing on the reality of demons but i just think that it's nothing to pee in your pants about. i mean if you're a child of God, you have nothing to fear. you should be more concerned about living a life that is pleasing to God rather than worrying about some evil spirit randomly entering you someday. haha, it always goes back to Romans (8:38)-"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neigher angels nor demons , neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be albe to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." i may not be able to explain anything about demons, but i do know that it will never be able to separate me from God.

hmmmm, all i seem to be thinking about is how everything relates and goes back to God. i suppose that's a good thing...but now for at least one stupid thought.

i was doing my math hw earlier tonight and i felt really gross from eating a corndog. all of that oil and fat concentrated in that small piece of food. you know when you eat really greasy food, your face gets all oily and disgusting? well as i was thinking about this, i realized that i hadn't gotten a pimple in a LONG time! i remember back in high school, i'd get a new one as SOON as i had finished healing an old one. i would never ever have a clear face that was devoid of acne. i mean, don't get me wrong...i was no pizza face. my parents both have very decent skin so my face didn't explode or anything in my adolescent years. but i just thought it was cool how i hadn't had a pimple in SUCH a long time! i mean, we have those tiny baby ones around our foreheads that no one can see, but those don't really count. i'm talking about REAL pimples! those hill monsters that must be digged out carefully. the worst ones are the ones that grow on your nose. fudge, i hate them so much i'm not going to even bother to write about them.

Thought of the Day: Danny's mom has got it goin' on!
Song of the Day: Praise Team-Holy Is The Lord