yg retreat:

i was really excited about being a yg counselor. i couldn't even fall asleep the night before cause i couldn't stop thinking about it. however, i felt and knew that i was very distracted. i knew i was going with many thoughts of having a great time with the students. i wanted them to like me and to think i was a really cool counselor. believe me, i was very distracted.

with only four hours of sleep, i went to church and began my unexpected journey of lessons. i didn't realize how big the yg was at cpc until we actually got to the retreat site. i couldn't believe there were still many students of the yg who hadn't come...really big right? for some reason, i was expecting alot of students to approach me and get to know me for whatever curious reason. well, it actually happened to be the other way around. i think every single student i talked to, i had to be the one to iniate the conversation and introduction of each other. i was very suprised to hear that some of the students thought i was still in high school! i don't like it when people think i'm not a college student...makes me feel inferior and stupid. haha.

victory ranch wasn't as bad as i thought it'd be. the weather wasn't THAT cold and the cabins were decent. even though the food didn't receive two thumbs up, i still enjoyed every meal with that hungry stomach of mine. bathrooms were usable and there was warm water for showers. overall, the place wasn't too bad.

i was pretty impressed with the youth group's praise team too. it's definitely alot better than whatever they had at kcpc. it was pretty encouraging to see most of the people really singing and showing some respect during the worship time. however, i couldn't help but notice the very "emotional" environment that was encouraged by pastor kim. man, that guy is such a KOREAN style pastor. i really like his passionate heart for the kids but i am very discouraged by his role as a pastor. the messages were O-K. i think the only explanation i have for my critical behavior is that i was spoiled by p. john, chang, and now, p. dennis. even B and simon noticed these shady things. man, i noticed this crap when i was their age.

teaching bible study was so hard. i ended up getting the 7th graders, supposedly the most difficult group of kids to teach. these kids really don't show any appreciation and the only answer they can give to my questions was, "can we play tag?" (eyes turn into angry eyes). man, practicing our skit was really tough too. b/c i had come up with a good idea, i ended up becoming director with minimal help from the other counselors in my group. man, it's really tough trying to get your kids to do something they're so indifferent about. basically, it ended up becoming one of those skits that were either going turn out REALLY good or REALLY bad. *sigh* a terrible skit it was. you know, i learned alot from being a counselor at this retreat...

1. it is SO hard being a counselor/yg teacher. i thought about EVERY yg teacher/counselor that i had and said sorry to them in my head.
2. girls are so much more mature than guys. alotta things that i didn't understand in high school make alotta sense now.
3. i give and i give and i give...and i don't receive. it's amazing to think how often i do that to God. so humbling.
4. it's really hard to find a really good youth pastor these days.
5. teachers can influence the kids just as much as the kids can influence the teacher.

to be honest, i wasn't enjoying myself too much at the retreat but i definitely have no regrets going to it either. i learned so much about this yg and myself as a counselor. not only that but i accomplished my main purpose of even going in the first place...getting to know the yg kids of cpc:

prairie: i saw prairie very often at church and knew she was a pretty nice girl. but i felt like i got to know her a bit better at this retreat since she was so easy to talk to. i really appreciated her amiable actions with B, simon, and tiff. i feel like she was the only one who made an effort to talk to them and make them feel comfortable at the retreat. i also enjoyed working on the skit with her. practically the only person who was enthusiastic about it and really supported my ideas. a girl with an awesome machine gun laugh and dope personality test.

joe myung: i thought this kid was some punk fob kid who just came from korea and didn't know how to smile. he actually ended up being on my "favorite yg kids list" after the retreat. i actually found his laziness and complaining attitude very amusing. he told me that he liked nor cal alot better than so cal. "i like i like." a very open attitude and i thought it was so funny how he hated B even though i'd always see them together. i think i saw alot of me inside him.

i mean, i can go on and on about every student that i met but these two seemed to stand out the most in my eyes. but dude, that last night of the retreat...i've never played in such a big group before! it started off with me, carol, grace, brian, and carol just telling jokes and riddles. then we started playing assah. then came all the buffalloes! fun times for sure.

man, i started this blog with intentions of writing it into a poem (i don't know why). but that sure isn't going to happen. this sucker is way too long and detailed...

x-mas:

justin came back.
justin does not know how to play hold 'em.
justin and i have our annual hangout.

day after x-mas:

ball with the boys.
downtown sf with justin.
hold 'em and juon at terrance's.

Thought of the Day: i HATE scary movies now.
Song of the Day: Now That You're Near