"something else funny?" "people, man, people."



this was such a good movie. racism, ignorance, and irony...another accurate portrayal of the need for Christ. a student in my afro-american psychology class recommended it to everyone in the class. now i recommend it to you.

i was looking at apartments in cypress today and i was SO discouraged! it never occurred to me just how nice of a city irvine was. i am spoiled up the butt over here. right now, i'm crossing fingers for buena park. i can see myself smiling in buena park, but not in cypress. *sigh* cypress, man (shaking head).

Thought of the Day: Pavlovian.
Song of the Day: H.O.T-Wedding X-mas

i signed up for an extra credit psych experiment called Food & Personality. basically, i have to go in three times and fill out surveys on food preferences and memories. well, today was my last session that i had to go to but they told me it was going to take 1.5 hours. however, they promised to provide some sandwiches as snacks for the participants. i purposely didn't eat lunch so i wouldn't have to make anything or do any of the dishes. i got there at 1:50 and finished my survey in 10 min...

experienter: well, you finished the last part of the experiment. i have some good news for you and some bad news for you. the bad news is that there are no sandwiches for you. when you told us your preferences, that was actually part of the experiment. the good news is that you're getting 1.5 hour credit for doing 10 min. of work.

i was really disappointed by the bad news.

since i was already on campus, i decided to get all of my reading and math homework done. i learned a very valuable lesson today: i can't study on an empty stomach. it took me 45 min. to read 6 pages. it's incredible how i can't focus when i have no food in my system. i came home, did all the dishes, cooked up some food, and haven't studied since...all thanks to that sham experiment.

Thought of the Day: Cypress.
Song of the Day: Mok-Heavenly Light

i am coughing so hard right now that my head hurts. i was coughing uncontrollably in my math class today. it was like one of those ongoing machine gun coughs where i look like i'm suffocating. good thing i was sitting in the way front where everyone can see me. talk about "all eyez on me." right now, i really really hate sam chen who gave me the cough who also gave it to john yi. we agreed to stone that sinner. man, i'm all light-headed from coughing so much...and the fun don't stop.

Thought of the Day: SATs SUCK.
Song of the Day: Stone Temple Pilots-Crackerman

dinko made me a STP (Stone Temple Pilots) mix yesterday. it was crazy listening to all of these songs that i once heard so much during my childhood. even though i knew about 80% of the songs, i didn't know that more than half of them were actually sung by STP. but the craziest part is that the majority of the songs i used to dislike sound SO GOOD now! it's like my ears finally opened up or something-i can finally appreciate! the same thing happened with Smashing Pumpkins, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and "the mighty mighty" Foo Fighters (whom i still love most).

it's similar to my appreciation for the Gospel. since i grew up in the church, i must have heard the Gospel a billion times at church and school (i used to attend a christian school). but it wasn't until a few years ago that the Gospel became oh so sweet. it's ridiculous how you can listen to the same thing over and over but not hear what is going into your ears. in the end, my appreciation for STP will die, but my appreciation for the Gospel will not; it will only grow. it's not that God's message is improving or becoming more attractive in any way. i am merely being sanctified by the Holy Spirit.

i have been really blessed in the past 24 hours. there are high hopes of my living situation being resolved (and some more) and i received two new students to tutor. incredible. "let your mercies fall from heaven. sweet mercies fall from heaven. new mercies for today, shower them down, Lord, as we pray."

Thought of the Day: Punitive.
Song of the Day: STP-Plush Acoustic Mix

the month of may is full of too much change:

1. doe and tina get accepted to usc.


2. edu and olivia hook up (finally).


3. i become a yg teacher.


too much can happen in just two weeks.

news:

1. need a roommate or two for me and dykas.

2. i'll be working at a hakwon in cypress all summer long. if you need a job, lemme know.


random:

i have 26 dvds. i started out with 1 coming into college.



Thought of the Day: Guys and girls have different standards.
Song of the Day: Kylie Minouge-Santa Baby

tutoring...

me: dillon, why does your hair look so nice today?
dillon: it looks nice all the time (dead serious).

double-negatives...

dillon: "ain't" isn't even a real word.
me: jordan ain't got no friends. jordan ain't got no brain cells.
dillon: (having a cow).

why am i so good with kids?

Thought of the Day:
Song of the day: The Avocados-Ocean

for brothers appreciation...



the stressed sisters still managed to work with a smile...



because i was so freakin' orange that night.




i have three midterms this week. good times.

Thought of the Day: Hula #2.
Song of the Day: Mack 10 & Tha Dogg Pound-Nothinn But The Cavi Hit

on tuesday, april 26, 2005, i actually raised my hand and made a comment/question in one of my lectures for the first time in my college history. after doing the reading and watching this video, my mind was at conflict with one of the notions that was being explained. i don't know what compelled me but i was totally Braveheart mentality. i ran the script over in my head several times and as soon as it was time for me to raise my hand, my heart started to pound at accelerating rates. freak! he called on someone else. after that 10 min. answer and a moment of silence, i casually raised my hand...

professor: yes, phil?
me: it seems like in the video and even from your book, in order to know your identity, you have to presuppose that there is a creator. how does this work for atheists?
professor: i don't know, you tell me....blah blah blah...there isn't a single black person who doesn't believe in a divine being...blah blah blah...good question.
me: (HECK YEAH that was a good question!).

i can't believe i spoke in class.




AzN1283 (12:26:26 AM): hey
Pretzelboi96 (12:26:34 AM): ayo
AzN1283 (12:26:34 AM): john has a gf?
Pretzelboi96 (12:26:41 AM): lol
Pretzelboi96 (12:26:43 AM): i JUST saw that too
Pretzelboi96 (12:26:45 AM): like literally
AzN1283 (12:26:49 AM): freakin a
Pretzelboi96 (12:26:49 AM): i don't think so
AzN1283 (12:26:50 AM): he beat us

these days, that missions pact that danny boy and i made last year doesn't sound like such a bad idea.

Thought of the Day: I hate Bi.
Song of the Day: Voices Of Theory-Say It

dinosaurs with lazer guns. I-N-G-E-N-I-O-U-S.

Thought of the Day: Beyonce talks ghetto.
Song of the Day: 50 Cent - The Massacre - 20 - Hate It or Love It (feat. The Game, Lloyd Banks, Tony Yayo, Young Buck) (G Unit Remix)

i was driving home today and i thought about everything that's happened these past two weeks. i was immediately reminded of edu's xanga title, "Come, Lord Jesus." man, i've been so sad lately just with all of the financial difficulties, grad school stuff, and friends having troubles with friends. i am weary from it all. how can i encourage others when i myself am so discouraged? as i kept driving, it hit me that i've been too complacent with my spiritual walk. i've been pretty comfortable for a long time now and it's finally caught up to me. i have forgotten what it means to struggle and to grow in character and hope. Chambers writes, "Beware of the danger of relaxation spiritually." i have indeed NOT been aware and i once again find myself at my knees.
Hebrews 12:2-3-Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
God is sovereign over my bank account and even my relationships. how much more is He sovereign over my sanctification?
Hebrews 12:11-No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Amen.
Come, Lord Jesus.
Amen.

Thought of the Day: Doesn't listen.
Song of the Day: Chris Tomlin-How Great Is Our God

tough week

i remember when i used to have really bad days where everything was just going wrong. cancelled appointments, missing the bus, losing money, fighting with the mom, and having an influx of homework all in the same day. when things got so bad, i used to laugh to myself at how ridiculous my day was...but not today. there is definitely no laughing on this sunny April Thursday. i think it's because my crappy events have been spread out throughout the week.

my brake light turned on last thurs even though my parking brake wasn't on. the brakes weren't feeling too sturdy either so i concluded that my brake pads were worn out and it was time for me to replace them. so i got them checked out on monday at Midas. when the manager tells you that's it's going to take about an hour, what he really means is that it's going to take 1 hour TIMES THREE! as i was waiting for my repaired car, they found out that my front left and right axles were messed up. what i thought was only going to cost me around 150 bucks turned out to be 150 bucks TIMES FIVE! for you english majors out there, that's $750 (and that's with a small discount).

i came home feeling really really sad. after calculating living costs and finances for the summer, i had to call my mom and ask her not to deposit the check i had sent her. even then, i don't have enough money to pay for summer rent. dude.

yesterday, i couldn't find my red aeropostale shirt. i lost it. rather, i think someone stole it from my laundry last thursday. i don't know, it's gone. but to make matters worse, i came home finding my left headlight not working. did you know that cops will actually pull you over and give you a fix-it-ticket that costs $10 and alotta out of the way trouble for a broken headlight? so being the obedient law-keeper that i am, i took my car back to Midas today as soon as i ended my 8am class. after taking another look at my car, joe (the manager) told me that it was absolutely critical that i change my two rear tires cause they were in really bad shape. he told me the same thing on monday and i knew they looked a lil lopsided, but i didn't think it was "absolutely critical" to change my tires. *shrug* how bad can the costs be? "alrite, joe, i'll change my tires too." after telling me it should be done before 3, i came back at 3:20 and it still wasn't even done. long story short, $180. *bitter weeping*

jin asked for three weeks off and jordan and dillon are on spring break this week. i just lost another $120. dude.

i don't know how i'm going to support people for missions or pay for my gas during the summer (last night was the most gas i ever had to pay for my small car-$31.36). there's more to my unpleasant week but i have to stop with the ranting somewhere. don't pity me. instead, pray for me.

Thought of the Day: I really want to throw my car away.
Song of the Day: The Munjees-Adoption Song

i had traffic school today. i went to bed at 3, woke up at 5:50, and waited outside in line at 6:40 til they opened the doors at 7. as i wrote in a previous entry, it's the traffic school part of the ticket that i hate more than the fine itself. 8 hours of sitting cramped inside a court room with 100 other traffic violators. it was kinda like sitting in traffic, only with no place to go...and no place to cry.

Reed Berry "The Traffic Guy"

my instructor was one of the funniest people i have ever met in my life. he was so sarcastic and witty thoughout the WHOLE day! it really felt like he was doing stand-up comedy 70% of the time. i mean, how do you crack jokes (really funny ones!) about traffic laws and safety rules? *shrug* he was doing it. he was seriously so good that i took down his info so that i could recommend him to future law breakers who need to take traffic school. and call me crazy but i did learn alot about traffic violations and new 2005 laws. for example, did you know that you can park on yellow curbs after 6 and all day on sundays? they're actually supposed to be for commercial vehicles but they're not enforced during the evening. that could save you alotta parking trouble. here's another one. did you know that for every point you get for getting a ticket, your insurance goes up $300 every year for three years?
don't get me wrong. traffic school sucked! i never wanna do that crap again. but it really wasn't as bad as it could have been...since i had "The Traffic Guy."



i think for the first time in a long time, i don't have any particular cravings for a specific genre of music. i usually go though cyclic phases of all my mp3s but these days, i'm just putting anything into my winamp just to kill the silence. it's a bit similar to my desiring of God. we all know that music is a beautiful and powerful thing that gives so much life to so many plain things. what would movies be like without music? how would our car rides feel without our radios and cds? what would sunday services be like without singing? but for me to not enjoy music shows that there's something wrong with me. it doesn't make any sense for me to not WANT to listen to some sort of melody. very much so, God who is infinitely awesome and wondrous (and the very creator of music) deserves that much more of my attention and crave. when i do not desire Him, there is something terribly wrong with me. it doesn't make sense that i don't have a passion for God. it's like chang's steak analogy. if steak tastes bad, it isn't a problem with the steak. it's a problem with the grilling or the fire (or the lack of it). but just as i know that music is a beautiful thing and as i remember pleasureable experiences of it, i know that God too is very beautiful and desiring Him is indeed very pleasureable. i am indeed a creature that is prone to wander, so prone to forget. Psalm 42:1-"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God." i want that desire again.

Thought of the Day: New bestfriend.
Song of the Day:

me: i'm taking afro-american psychology this qtr. i get to learn how black people think.
chris: all they do is steal. that's all you need to know.

Thought of the Day: Good to be back.
Song of the Day: Your Name Is Holy

on live 105's website...

All this weekend we give up the wheels of steel to the one man who we're sure could do justice to our crack weekend team... The Man himself... JESUS H. CHRIST. And because of His Lord's fondness for the number 3, he'll be playing sets of 3 song from his favorite Alternative Artists... U2, Queens of the Stoneage, Green Day, and many more.

today's sermon...

pastor ryan: they're giving out eggs today...i don't even know why!


i feel like today is a bit of a mixed up day. stores all over the country are selling easter eggs and chocolate bunnies to people of all ages. at the same time, churches all over the world are celebrating a very SPECIAL day out of the year where they especially remember Christ's resurrection. apparently, Easter is not just an ordinary day for any of us. why is that?

well for non-christians, they celebrate a ridiculous bunny that hides eggs or something. for christians, today seems to be a particular day of happiness and rejoicing. but it wasn't until this year that i realized that "Easter" should be celebrated EVERY sunday. EVERY sunday is to be a day of celebration. EVERY sunday is to be a day where we remember Christ's resurrection. EVERY sunday is to be a day of worship. not just once a year, every spring. not just when the world celebrates that stupid Easter Bunny. if you were particularly blessed by today's worship service, i'd challenge you to question why. in a sense, every Sunday ought to be our Easter.

my brother got confirmed today. praise God.

Thought of the Day: Yes, yes, Lord. Amen.
Song of the Day: How Deep The Father's Love

yesterday during tutoring...

me: jordan, leave us alone!
jordan: gosh, philip, don't be such an ass...
me: !!!!!
jordan: -tronaut. ahahahhahahha.
me: ahahahhahaah. i have to admit, that was pretty good.

it is spring qtr, finals week 2005. two down, two more to go. whenever my tests have short answer/essay questions, i always use my LUCKY PEN. this is a very special pen to me for various reasons. first of all, i love how it doesn't release too much ink, but still rolls smoothly and comes out dark enough for everyone to read. second, although i'm missing the cap, the pen has never failed to dry out in the past...three years! basically, when i used to be an officer with monica kim in yg, she left the pen at my house after using it to take notes. i never gave it back to her because it was such a covetous and wonderful item that i could use for college. so to this day, i use it for writing on my calander, making my flashcards, brainstorming my outlines, and of course, taking my tests. i can't tell when the ink is going to run out because the ink stained the inside of the clear tube. i really don't know what i'll do when i can no longer use my LUCKY PEN. no pen will ever be able to replace it.

moral of the story: don't ever leave anything precious at phil's house caues he'll never give it back.



i have come to the conclusion that my favorite slow jam of all time is Ben E. King's "Stand By Me." come to think of it, i think it was the earliest slow jam that i could ever remember hearing as a child. i don't know if it's because it reminds me of the 1986 movie, Stand By Me, or if it's because i love how passionately King sings the song with his unique voice. maybe it's the nice tune or the simple lyrics that can win any girl's heart (i think). sometimes, i even imagine God singing this song to me. there are also times where i imagine myself singing this song to God (without the "DARLIN', DARLIN'..." stuff of course!). haha. singing a secular song to God. that's when you know a song is awesome.


made my day...

(taking out my id card as i turn in my education final).
professor collins: (takes my test w/o id card). i know who are.
me: *grin* oh.

Thought of the Day: No train.
Song of the Day: Jinusean-Phone Number

ken: hey phil, check out your background later!



it's like Beauty & the Beast...and i'm not the beast. ehehehheehehe. just kidding, molester.

Thought of the Day: Cowboys.
Song of the Day: Kingsmen-Louie Louie

two nights ago, i had a dream that i spit out water while taking a shower. too bad that i thought the dream was real cause i woke up with drool all over my neck and pillow. i promise you, this is the second time this has happened to me. of all the things, i dream of taking showers...

i'm killing some time right now cause i just finished writing my outline for the paper i have to write tonight. writing's kinda like running in a x-country race. 1 page = 1 mile. 1 paragraph = 1 hill. intro = starting line. conclusion = finish line. outline = warming up/stretching. so i'm kinda loosening up my muscles before i start my race. i have so much reluctance and anxiety right now but i know it won't be so bad once i start running. i love that feeling when you've put so much effort into a paper and when you finally finish. you don't care about your time nor who finished before you. when you cross that finish line, you're done. tracking, critical pedagogy, and social capital. AHHH!

look at this picture of terrance i stole from Chang's xanga.



crazy.

Thought of the Day: LONG LIVE KCM!!!
Song of the Day: Third Day-I've Always Loved You

You Will Die at Age 76

76 You're pretty average when it comes to how you live...And how you'll die as well.

What Age Will You Die?

Thought of the Day: Addicts.
Song of the Day: Fatboy Slim-Austin Powers Theme

Thought of the Day: "C'mon, twinkle twinkle, baby! Twinkle twinkle!"
Song of the Day: Skillet-Your Name Is Holy

i got a ticket today for driving too close to the car in front of me. 41 mph in a 50 zone, 8 ft. away. he didn't even give me a chance to explain. just straight up "do you know what you did wrong? when you're going that fast and you're that close, you're not going to be able to break in time." *walks away to write ticket* dangit.

as i was driving off, i started flooding myself with situations that could have avoided the ticket. if only i hadn't changed my cds as i was warming up my car. if only i hadn't chosen to wear my red shoes today. if only i hadn't made my appointment to meet today at 1pm. then i realized that by me thinking of all of these "if only" situations, i was pretty much saying that God's will and sovereignty were imperfect or flawed. i don't care so much that i have to pay for the ticket. what really bothers me is the idea of taking traffic school. i HATE traffic school.

so after fieldwork, i came home feeling kinda bummed...

me: i got a ticket today.
julie: let's go eat KOBE!
me: if chris got me KOBE today, i would be really encouraged.
chris: alrite, let's go!

me and my big mouth.

today was my first time having japanese bbq. but more importantly, today was my first time having kobe beef. for you ignorants out there:

Kobe beef is a special grade of beef from (Wagyu) cattle raised in Kobe, Japan. These cattle are massaged with sake and are fed a daily diet that includes large amounts of beer. This produces meat that is extraordinarily tender, finely marbled, and full-flavored. It is also extremely expensive, often costing more than $100 per pound. Because of the high cost and increasing demand, there are now some Kobe-style beef-cattle being raised in the U.S. using the same techniques.



yeah, that's what i ate today. we each must've eaten about 5 pieces of kobe beef. just that plate alone cost $20...and yeah, we ate alotta other stuff too. it's one of the best pieces of meat i have ever eaten in my life. i like chris alot.

Thought of the Day: No MercyMe.
Song of the Day: Sister Act-I Will Follow Him