i watched Day After Tomorrow yesterday with sun and terrance. i always thought the preview looked kinda cool but everyone i asked seemed to have no interest in the movie. luckily, i have my set group of movie friends who are down to watch almost anything with me. i think we all agreed that it had been pretty long since we all felt so tense during a movie. it is probably the best disaster movie i've ever seen! but man, there was this one part that really opened my eyes...
so this kid's dad is a climate expert and he tells his son to tell everyone that he needs to stay inside or else they were going to freeze to death outside. so everybody starts leaving the place to walk outside b/c they don't see the danger. the kid desperately asks people to stay inside and to trust him b/c he knows that his dad is right with these kinds of things. but everyone is leaving and many people freeze to death. i think that scene is so similar to evangelizing to nonchristians. our Father knows best and tells us to tell spread the important news to everyone. but people have such hardened hearts and they do not listen. the scary thing is that they will not merely experience a freezing to death. they will experience spritual death...forever.
i got sick last night. i got REALLY sick today at church. it went from a minor sore throat to an aching flu or fever. today was like the first time i didn't finish my jjajangmyun at VIP. when everything you eat tastes like newspaper, you really appreciate your regular appetite that you have...which reminds me of another anology:
Romans 5 talks about with so much sin, there is so much more grace. however, we definitely should not think that we ought to sin more so that grace would inrease. i was thinking about my life and how i foolishly live in my sinfulness. we know so much better but we continue to fall in our sin. i was thinking that was pretty similar to cutting your leg and taking medicine. when you're in so much pain, you appreciate the medicine b/c it relieves and heals the pain. the greater the pain, the more you love and cherish the medicine. however, only a fool would continue to cut his leg just so that his apprecation for medicine would increase more. i don't know, i'm never good with analogies. but this was something that i just thought about during the week (whether or not it makes sense).
Thought of the Day: I really envy SD and Riverside
Song of the Day: Mercy Me-Here Am I
May 30, 2004
May 26, 2004
i have been really tired these days. for the past few weeks, i've only been able to catch up on my sleep on sunday afternoons. there is absolutely NO day where i can sleep in at all. if you know me, i have a hard time functioning with little or no sleep. i mean, it's not like i choose to be cranky or complain when i'm drowsy. my body just won't allow me to act in a socially and physically acceptable manner. i finally realized just HOW tired i was today when i just could not wake up from my nap to go to my film class. sleep deprivation really does catch up to you...
9:00 bio class...
*eyes close*
*eyes open*
(slide changes).
*eyes close*
*eyes open*
(slide changes again).
*eyes close*
*eyes open*
(class is over).
*yawn*
see what i mean?
so it's that wonderful time of the year again. signing up for next qtr's classes. if you do not already know, i am declared psychology major, planning on minoring education. my future career plans are to teach either middle or high school students. anyways, i was looking to sign up for my classes and i realized that i didn't know what the education courses were. so i went to the education department today and picked up a few handouts that talked about future careers in teaching. for the first time in a long time, i started worrying about my future plans...
if i want to teach middle or high school, i need to choose a subject to teach. the handouts explained how it would be good if i had a strong background in math courses for teaching math, strong background in history courses for teaching history, etc.. so here's the problem. i HAVE NO strong background in any subject. i'm majoring under psychology but that is not a subject that i can really teach in secondary schools. i mean, there's alotta subjects that i'm interested in but i'm just not good at them. there's also alotta subjects that i'm decent in but i just have no interest. i feel like all of that "just go with the flow" attitude is really catching up to me right now. at times like this, i just need to remember Jeremiah 29:11-13. whenever people are distressed or unhappy with the events of their lives, i simply remind them that God is sovereign and gracious. God is always good.
this may sound kinda bad/wrong depending on how you look at it, but honestly speaking...i really hope that God does not want me to become a pastor. (nervous chuckle).
Thought of the Day: I do what i do not want to do.
Song of the Day: Mercy Me-Here With Me
9:00 bio class...
*eyes close*
*eyes open*
(slide changes).
*eyes close*
*eyes open*
(slide changes again).
*eyes close*
*eyes open*
(class is over).
*yawn*
see what i mean?
so it's that wonderful time of the year again. signing up for next qtr's classes. if you do not already know, i am declared psychology major, planning on minoring education. my future career plans are to teach either middle or high school students. anyways, i was looking to sign up for my classes and i realized that i didn't know what the education courses were. so i went to the education department today and picked up a few handouts that talked about future careers in teaching. for the first time in a long time, i started worrying about my future plans...
if i want to teach middle or high school, i need to choose a subject to teach. the handouts explained how it would be good if i had a strong background in math courses for teaching math, strong background in history courses for teaching history, etc.. so here's the problem. i HAVE NO strong background in any subject. i'm majoring under psychology but that is not a subject that i can really teach in secondary schools. i mean, there's alotta subjects that i'm interested in but i'm just not good at them. there's also alotta subjects that i'm decent in but i just have no interest. i feel like all of that "just go with the flow" attitude is really catching up to me right now. at times like this, i just need to remember Jeremiah 29:11-13. whenever people are distressed or unhappy with the events of their lives, i simply remind them that God is sovereign and gracious. God is always good.
this may sound kinda bad/wrong depending on how you look at it, but honestly speaking...i really hope that God does not want me to become a pastor. (nervous chuckle).
Thought of the Day: I do what i do not want to do.
Song of the Day: Mercy Me-Here With Me
May 17, 2004
take it backwards, one step at a time...
i just got back from watching Troy. i didn't even feel like watching it much so i guess my low expectations helped me enjoy the movie afterwards. i'm not really a big fan of brad pitt either. i think he's totally overrated-of course my two roommates would think otherwise. i wouldn't say he's a terrible actor but i DEFINITELY would not say that he's underrated. if anything, Troy just helped me recognize why girls would lust after such a fellow. physically speaking, the guy is pretty dang flawless. on top of that, all of his movie roles give him that deceitful charm. but besides continuing to discourage Pitt (which i think i can do for some time), Troy was a fun movie to watch. like every other movie out there, every character needs Christ. w/o Christ, there is only sin and death. man, that one guy in the beginning was HUGE!
i was really really tired at church on sunday. waking up was difficult, staying awake during the sermon required alotta effort, and not peeping a word during bible study was a given. dormal was a money spender! dormal was a gas eater! dormal was a time stealer! dormal was...
really fun.
for the past two weeks, those stupid la girls would ask me almost everyday if i was excited to go to dormal. i think the best and honest answer to their question was that i wasn't as excited as THEY were. =D but kind of like watching Troy, it only made my night that much more enjoyable. after prom, i never would have thought i'd go to another formal ever again. i was actually planning on going to my dormal last year with ccm freshmen but it didn't work out.
i thought it was kinda interesting how all the girls were la and all the guys were irvine. haha. joe calls it an "intermarriage." *barf* anyways, everything that night was great! esther (molester) park-i couldn't have asked for a better date. not only did i think she was the best dancer there but she was also the most encouraging. i promise you that we had the most fun out of everyone (i could just see it on everyone's face). =D
i think the only negative was that i got a $40 parking ticket at Island's. everyone told me the sign said No Parking MON-FRI. and none of the other cars got stupid $40 tickets! but esther and anna felt really bad so they actually helped pay for the ticket. fudge, girls can be so stubborn...and so kind. on the way back, i barely said a word in the car. when you haven't gotten much sleep from two nights before, deprived your sleep from a yg lockin the night before, did outreach with your eyes half-open, got through missions training only through drinking tterrehreh, and then danced for almost 3 hours straight, you're pretty tired. but like i told aaron when we got home, "i have no regrets going."
i took a 4 hour nap after church and i only woke up b/c i forced myself to. right now, it is 1:20am. i think i'm going to be up for a while.
Thought of the Day: Jjajang bap is my favorite at church.
Song of the Day: J-Kwon-Tipsy Youngbuck Mix
i just got back from watching Troy. i didn't even feel like watching it much so i guess my low expectations helped me enjoy the movie afterwards. i'm not really a big fan of brad pitt either. i think he's totally overrated-of course my two roommates would think otherwise. i wouldn't say he's a terrible actor but i DEFINITELY would not say that he's underrated. if anything, Troy just helped me recognize why girls would lust after such a fellow. physically speaking, the guy is pretty dang flawless. on top of that, all of his movie roles give him that deceitful charm. but besides continuing to discourage Pitt (which i think i can do for some time), Troy was a fun movie to watch. like every other movie out there, every character needs Christ. w/o Christ, there is only sin and death. man, that one guy in the beginning was HUGE!
i was really really tired at church on sunday. waking up was difficult, staying awake during the sermon required alotta effort, and not peeping a word during bible study was a given. dormal was a money spender! dormal was a gas eater! dormal was a time stealer! dormal was...
really fun.
for the past two weeks, those stupid la girls would ask me almost everyday if i was excited to go to dormal. i think the best and honest answer to their question was that i wasn't as excited as THEY were. =D but kind of like watching Troy, it only made my night that much more enjoyable. after prom, i never would have thought i'd go to another formal ever again. i was actually planning on going to my dormal last year with ccm freshmen but it didn't work out.
i thought it was kinda interesting how all the girls were la and all the guys were irvine. haha. joe calls it an "intermarriage." *barf* anyways, everything that night was great! esther (molester) park-i couldn't have asked for a better date. not only did i think she was the best dancer there but she was also the most encouraging. i promise you that we had the most fun out of everyone (i could just see it on everyone's face). =D
i think the only negative was that i got a $40 parking ticket at Island's. everyone told me the sign said No Parking MON-FRI. and none of the other cars got stupid $40 tickets! but esther and anna felt really bad so they actually helped pay for the ticket. fudge, girls can be so stubborn...and so kind. on the way back, i barely said a word in the car. when you haven't gotten much sleep from two nights before, deprived your sleep from a yg lockin the night before, did outreach with your eyes half-open, got through missions training only through drinking tterrehreh, and then danced for almost 3 hours straight, you're pretty tired. but like i told aaron when we got home, "i have no regrets going."
i took a 4 hour nap after church and i only woke up b/c i forced myself to. right now, it is 1:20am. i think i'm going to be up for a while.
Thought of the Day: Jjajang bap is my favorite at church.
Song of the Day: J-Kwon-Tipsy Youngbuck Mix
May 14, 2004
some people came over our place and were making alotta noise. i couldn't fall asleep so after they left, i told aaron about it since they were his friends. i was really upset and i told him how i couldn't even enjoy Pirates of the Carribean.
then ALOTTA things happened and it was just absolutely chaotic. but i only remember the last part pretty well. freakin' korean drama dude...literally. everyone came back together and i knew who liked who. i had told the rich guy that olivia had liked him. the gay guy had told me that he had liked the rich guy. when they all met, the rich guy started talking to olivia and she was really happy. the gay guy saw that and started hating olivia. oh yeah, the gay guy was like like this old bald guy with glasses...kinda looked like andrew kim's dad (not cpc andrew). it was the ending to a drama and i thought it was really weird. this was all happening as we were walking upstairs somewhere. danny was there but i can't remember why. i remember my adult student being there too...like a junkie version of him.
dream's over, dorothy...
i really hate it when people try to make you feel bad intentionally in the inside but unintentionally on the outside. they'll talk about how you did something wrong "but it's ok." they'll keep talking about what you did wrong but always go back to "it's ok though." what the fudge is the point of telling me all of this?! they want to make sure that you know just exactly how unhappy they are and still look like they're gracious and forgiving and patient and loving. it REALLY pisses me off.
i've had an incredibly crappy week. i had midterms to take, papers to do, and books to read. i got midterms back, didn't finish one paper, and the books took forever. the past 2-3 days have been tossing in my sleep. i'm tired-really really tired and i can't fall asleep. devotionals have been a drag since my heart has been in the wrong places this whole week. this week was really discouraging...and so i wonder-what does this weekend have in store for me?
lakers = the luckiest crap!
Thought of the Day: Sour.
Song of the Day: As One-Day By Day Pop Mix
then ALOTTA things happened and it was just absolutely chaotic. but i only remember the last part pretty well. freakin' korean drama dude...literally. everyone came back together and i knew who liked who. i had told the rich guy that olivia had liked him. the gay guy had told me that he had liked the rich guy. when they all met, the rich guy started talking to olivia and she was really happy. the gay guy saw that and started hating olivia. oh yeah, the gay guy was like like this old bald guy with glasses...kinda looked like andrew kim's dad (not cpc andrew). it was the ending to a drama and i thought it was really weird. this was all happening as we were walking upstairs somewhere. danny was there but i can't remember why. i remember my adult student being there too...like a junkie version of him.
dream's over, dorothy...
i really hate it when people try to make you feel bad intentionally in the inside but unintentionally on the outside. they'll talk about how you did something wrong "but it's ok." they'll keep talking about what you did wrong but always go back to "it's ok though." what the fudge is the point of telling me all of this?! they want to make sure that you know just exactly how unhappy they are and still look like they're gracious and forgiving and patient and loving. it REALLY pisses me off.
i've had an incredibly crappy week. i had midterms to take, papers to do, and books to read. i got midterms back, didn't finish one paper, and the books took forever. the past 2-3 days have been tossing in my sleep. i'm tired-really really tired and i can't fall asleep. devotionals have been a drag since my heart has been in the wrong places this whole week. this week was really discouraging...and so i wonder-what does this weekend have in store for me?
lakers = the luckiest crap!
Thought of the Day: Sour.
Song of the Day: As One-Day By Day Pop Mix
Isaiah 1:16-17-wash and make yourselves clean. take your evil deeds out of my sight! stop doing wrong, learn to do right!
2:17-18-the arrogance of man will be brought low and the pride of men humbled; the Lord alone with be exalted in that day, and the idols will totally disappear.
Thought of the Day: Ms. Pacman and Resident Evil cause sensation.
Song of the Day: Cool-Fate
2:17-18-the arrogance of man will be brought low and the pride of men humbled; the Lord alone with be exalted in that day, and the idols will totally disappear.
Thought of the Day: Ms. Pacman and Resident Evil cause sensation.
Song of the Day: Cool-Fate
May 10, 2004
laugh hard!
Thought of the Day: Joey is my favorite character.
Song of the Day: Korean Summer Mix-Track 02
Thought of the Day: Joey is my favorite character.
Song of the Day: Korean Summer Mix-Track 02
Pretzelboi96 (11:32:06 PM): i just made a big decision
Pretzelboi96 (11:32:11 PM): i had to tell everyone online
kiMcHeeeeEe (11:32:15 PM): Hehe
kiMcHeeeeEe (11:32:19 PM): What is your goal?
Pretzelboi96 (11:32:58 PM): it's for health
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:02 PM): not appearance
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:07 PM): i tried working out for appearance
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:10 PM): i saw no progress
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:13 PM): i got discouraged
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:16 PM): so i stopped
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:24 PM): but i feel really unheatlhy these days
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:33 PM): so i'm going to change my reasons for exercising
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:36 PM): thus, health!
kiMcHeeeeEe (11:33:38 PM): :D
Thought of the Day: Busy week.
Song of the Day: Michael Jackson-Billy Jean
Pretzelboi96 (11:32:11 PM): i had to tell everyone online
kiMcHeeeeEe (11:32:15 PM): Hehe
kiMcHeeeeEe (11:32:19 PM): What is your goal?
Pretzelboi96 (11:32:58 PM): it's for health
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:02 PM): not appearance
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:07 PM): i tried working out for appearance
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:10 PM): i saw no progress
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:13 PM): i got discouraged
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:16 PM): so i stopped
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:24 PM): but i feel really unheatlhy these days
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:33 PM): so i'm going to change my reasons for exercising
Pretzelboi96 (11:33:36 PM): thus, health!
kiMcHeeeeEe (11:33:38 PM): :D
Thought of the Day: Busy week.
Song of the Day: Michael Jackson-Billy Jean
May 5, 2004
i signed off aim and just finished brushing my teeth, getting ready for bed. and then it occurred to me what i had wanted to blog about earlier this morning. last night, i dreamt of dinko but i don't remember anything that happened. the only thing i do remember was learning that his name was supposed to be spelled, "DINCO." it's stupid when i think about it now but it made perfect sense in the dream.
i also remember a dream i had exactly one week ago. i remember this dream b/c it was so vivid! i was playing hold'em, 1 on 1, at this casino table with this really hot white blonde girl. she was wearing this really scandalous red dress and she was really nice. as we were playing, i was evangelizing to her and she was actually open to what i had to say. she was very receptive to my words and i was very encouraged. then *POOF!* stupid ken called me and asked if he could get a ride to clusters. man, i never dream of really hot white blonde girls.
i think it's really weird how these past few weeks have been full of references to simulacra/simulation from my film class. for all of you ignorants, i'm talking about how we know what is real and what is not real. it's kinda like The Matrix where you're not sure who or what you are. for all you know, you could be this programmed robot that thinks/looks/acts like a human. how do you know your memories are real and genuine? how do you know if they're not just implanted? this kinda theme has been coming up ever since i learned about simularcra in my film class. first, The Matrix. then Blade Runner. then my book, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? and finally, the anime i'm currently watching, Full Metal Alchemist. of course, our only standard for truth is God's Word. apart from God, nothing can exist. but i must say, i think i finally REALLY understand The Matrix.
it's been really hot these days. irvine's supposed to be one of the cooler parts of so. cal too! life must be tough for cerritos, la, and RIVERSIDE! but as i always love to share, i absolutely enjoy these hot sunny days. like my brother and i always talk about..."it's all about the LA SUMMER NIGHTS!" to be able to go outside in your t-shirt and shorts at midnight w/o a hint of displeasure, man you so. cal people really take this crap for granted. i mean, i'm sure there's a few of you guys who enjoy it too but you seriously just don't appreciate as much as you ought to. it makes me angry sometimes. but then, i just open my window, let the nice breeze cool me off, and i'm back to smiling. =D
i have/had a Barnabas in my life. it's really hard to love him. everyday, i realize how sinful i am. my heart lacks so much love. often times, i forget that God has placed him in my life for a reason and i've been placed in his life for a reason. with so much sin, there is so much more grace. it's brilliantly profound when you think about it. i'm not encouraging abuse. i'm encouraging humility. my thoughts jump all over the place. the hands that type these words cannot keep up with the pace of my mind. i always say this crap. God is good. but this crap will never become redundant.
you know what's been helping me sing during praise time at church? as i am singing the words, i imagine myself in heaven singing the same song along with the rest of the elect. i forget how John describes the deluge of people but dude...it's a GRIP! when i imagine myself singing and praising along with everyone else, i can't help but think that i am genuinely worshipping God b/c that's what heaven will be like. we'll be in our perfect and glorified bodies worshipping our perfect God. it will be glorious! even with my imperfect and sinful mind, just the glimpse of being able to do that really encourages me and keeps me focused during praise. i don't know if it's an incorrect attitude or perspective but try it out next time. it works for me.
Thought of the Day: Hawaiian shirt has no regrets.
Song of the Day: That stupid Chungook slow song.
i also remember a dream i had exactly one week ago. i remember this dream b/c it was so vivid! i was playing hold'em, 1 on 1, at this casino table with this really hot white blonde girl. she was wearing this really scandalous red dress and she was really nice. as we were playing, i was evangelizing to her and she was actually open to what i had to say. she was very receptive to my words and i was very encouraged. then *POOF!* stupid ken called me and asked if he could get a ride to clusters. man, i never dream of really hot white blonde girls.
i think it's really weird how these past few weeks have been full of references to simulacra/simulation from my film class. for all of you ignorants, i'm talking about how we know what is real and what is not real. it's kinda like The Matrix where you're not sure who or what you are. for all you know, you could be this programmed robot that thinks/looks/acts like a human. how do you know your memories are real and genuine? how do you know if they're not just implanted? this kinda theme has been coming up ever since i learned about simularcra in my film class. first, The Matrix. then Blade Runner. then my book, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? and finally, the anime i'm currently watching, Full Metal Alchemist. of course, our only standard for truth is God's Word. apart from God, nothing can exist. but i must say, i think i finally REALLY understand The Matrix.
it's been really hot these days. irvine's supposed to be one of the cooler parts of so. cal too! life must be tough for cerritos, la, and RIVERSIDE! but as i always love to share, i absolutely enjoy these hot sunny days. like my brother and i always talk about..."it's all about the LA SUMMER NIGHTS!" to be able to go outside in your t-shirt and shorts at midnight w/o a hint of displeasure, man you so. cal people really take this crap for granted. i mean, i'm sure there's a few of you guys who enjoy it too but you seriously just don't appreciate as much as you ought to. it makes me angry sometimes. but then, i just open my window, let the nice breeze cool me off, and i'm back to smiling. =D
i have/had a Barnabas in my life. it's really hard to love him. everyday, i realize how sinful i am. my heart lacks so much love. often times, i forget that God has placed him in my life for a reason and i've been placed in his life for a reason. with so much sin, there is so much more grace. it's brilliantly profound when you think about it. i'm not encouraging abuse. i'm encouraging humility. my thoughts jump all over the place. the hands that type these words cannot keep up with the pace of my mind. i always say this crap. God is good. but this crap will never become redundant.
you know what's been helping me sing during praise time at church? as i am singing the words, i imagine myself in heaven singing the same song along with the rest of the elect. i forget how John describes the deluge of people but dude...it's a GRIP! when i imagine myself singing and praising along with everyone else, i can't help but think that i am genuinely worshipping God b/c that's what heaven will be like. we'll be in our perfect and glorified bodies worshipping our perfect God. it will be glorious! even with my imperfect and sinful mind, just the glimpse of being able to do that really encourages me and keeps me focused during praise. i don't know if it's an incorrect attitude or perspective but try it out next time. it works for me.
Thought of the Day: Hawaiian shirt has no regrets.
Song of the Day: That stupid Chungook slow song.
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