you know when your spiritual life isn't doing so well and you pray to God to restore you and stuff? when your life is crap and God is totally discipling the humility out of you (actually into you), that's when you go to God when you have no where else to turn to. but i've been thinking, do we turn to God b/c we are called to turn back to God or just b/c we wanna be happy again? i think that i often turn to God just to be happy. a very selfish yet honest reason. everything that i do seems to be for the sake of me being happy. i study hard so that i can get a good job to live a happy life. i hang out with friends b/c having fun makes me happy. and nevertheless, i turn to God b/c He is the only one that can make me happy. happy happy happy. what if turning to God didn't make us happy? what if it only straightened our lives and that's it? would i still turn to God? of course God is the ulitmate source of happiness but what if you know? even though God disciplined us and everything, would we still turn to HIm if He didn't bring us happiness? i wonder if this makes any sense. i wonder.

i've been pretty lazy these days. i didn't go to my psych. class yesterday and i didn't go to my bio class today. i mean, i wake up on time and everything. i even get out of my bed to pee. but i climb back onto my bed and start thinking...do i really wanna go to class today? is it absolutely necessary that i go to today's lecture? and i start listing all the pros and cons and i usually have many more cons. but gosh, those pros just sound so much favorable when you're that tired you know? haha.

last night, i got a chance to hang out with esther ko from ccm. i learned that she can eat very well (5 chicken tacos at 2:30 in the morning!) and that she really loves spicy food. she also has these awesome nicknames like "esther the molester," "esther the fester," "esther ko ko puffs," and "esther ko ko mong." lol. gosh, i didn't know what a fester was until she told me that nickname (a sore that generates puss...gross). after we worked out the arc, we watched the Korea vs. Japan soccer game at howard's place with sharon. it was pretty fun watching korea play soccer again. notice how i didn't say i liked watching soccer, but rather liked watching KOREA play soccer. gosh, i seriously hate watching that sport. back and forth and back and forth and ALMOST and back and forth! it was pretty frustrating cause Japan won in overtime when they were SO close to going into Sudden Death! the stupid ball bounced off the guy's body in the air and barely fit into the goal. AISH! haha. so that's why i didn't go to class today. going to bed at 5:30 and losing to Japan in OT just doesn't encourage you to review The Brain.

Thought of the Day: DAE HAN MIN GOOK!
Song of the Day: Moulin Rouge-Your Song