yesterday, i decided to look at my checkings account history just to see how much i had spent in the last month. when you just look at the withdrawals, it doesn't look so bad. lots of 20 and 40 dollar withdrawals. ok, time to bust out the calculator. uhoh. 11/27-12/27 = over $900!!! okok, let's just see how much i spent ever since i came up home. over $450?! so i was a little depressed and angry with myself last night, thinking about all the stupid things i wasted my money on. lots of pool, movies, and gas. man, i didn't even like this winter break and i spent over $450?! man, i'm pathetic.

today, i went to my uncle's house to "seh-beh" early since i'm leaving tomorrow. it's funny how i can see so much of my dad in my uncle. they're so different yet so alike. he can walk the walk and talk the talk. yeah, it was just a funny observation. i was looking at some pictures of my nephews and nieces. dude, they got really big! i can't believe they're like 5 or 6 now! i can start talking to them now. haha. i wonder how they look at me and my brother? are we still strangers to them? do they have a sense of who we are? if i saw them in a store, would they say hi back to me? probably not. anyways, they made me eat soooooo much! alotta mandoo gook (potsticker soup).

uncle: you want some more?
me: oh no! i'm really full.
uncle: here, have 3 of mine.
me: *sigh*
simon: here, take one. i'm too full.
me: *siiiiiiiiiigh*

it was a really good dinner though. some bangin' kimchee and awesome beef too. *drool* well, not right now. i feel like i need to go the hospital. cut open my stomach and give some of the food to the poor or something. um nevermind. that's pretty disgusting. haha.

new year's eves...

freshmen yr.: friend's house.
soph. yr.: home alone, counting off for the year 2000 all by myself.
junior yr.: party.
senior yr.: church.
this yr.: most likely church.

flytothelimits (4:01:46 PM): yeh im going to church
flytothelimits (4:02:09 PM): of course
flytothelimits (4:02:20 PM): for the past 18 years i have been going to church on new years eve
flytothelimits (4:02:25 PM): its not changing this year
Pretzelboi96 (4:02:53 PM): haha
Pretzelboi96 (4:03:07 PM): and for the past 18 years you have gone to church high
flytothelimits (4:03:18 PM): dont tell anyone
Pretzelboi96 (4:03:52 PM): don't worry

Thought of the Day: I'm finally going back!
Song of the Day: MXPX-Turning Japanese

last night, i had some korean bbq b/c it was dykas's dad's b-day. all these other families were there and i didn't feel too comfortable about going, but dykas insisted. so we ate alotta good korean food: gal-bee, samgyupsal, kimchee...you know, the typical stuff. anyways, the adults were drinking soju and i noticed that the dads could REALLY drink! i found out that one of the hardcore dads was jessica yoo's dad! "homeboy's still drinking!" he's one of those cool korean dads that have that strong laugh and always say start/end every sentence with "jahsheekah!" you know, the kind of person that'll give all of his newphews and nieces a whole buncha money when he's drunk. smoking and "go-stop" is a given. oh yeah, and these dads have this tendency to LOVE kids who can eat! haha. every korean knows what i'm talking about. you just can't miss them. man, last night was the first time i've been in a family dinner since korea!

after dinner, i saw Requiem For A Dream on my computer. omg. what a depressing movie! not a sad drama but a very pitiful disturbing movie. it was basically another one of those drug reality movies. gosh, i hate watching these movies with simon. after the movie, he was like, "why do you watch these movies?" you stupid idiot! you don't understand such things b/c you're so young. there's a reason why certain movies are Rated R! but it's not like i'm not going to let him watch just b/c it's a Rated R movie. i didn't even know what the movie was about but i downloaded it back in irvine. but geez, that guy had one disgusting arm!

i received a Christmas Card from my old work place...Allan, Tess, Char, and Cathy. they also gave me a calander in the envelope. i feel kinda bad not stopping by to say hi to them. i'll say wassup during the summer when i might be able to work for them again. but yeah, those guys are the nicest people in the world...still treat me like i work there or something.

so i'm going back down in 2 days. like it says in dykas's profile, i'm kinda happy but kinda sad too. i miss irvine weather and sometimes, even the food! haha, gross right? but most of all, i miss my dormmates...gambling with minh do, playing frustration with J and annie, saying, "hello connie" to connie and "hi willburt" to willburt, and telling bunz to get out of my room. haha. but i won't see them til sunday b/c i have my first official college retreat coming up! i really do not know what to expect from it. hopefully, i'll become closer with some people and just have a refreshing time before i head back into the sinful world of irvine. we'll see wassup. BUT! there's also the pinch of melancholy that i have when i think about leaving home. no more good pool tables, no more driving my own car, no more of mama's cookin', and no more private bathrooms. yeah, it's really no big deal. i'm more happy that i'm leaving than staying here. this break has been super duper boring. now i know why alotta college students don't like going back home. if they do, it's just for a brief. aw man, i just remembered that i'm going to have to be inside a car for an eternity! noooooooooooo!

Thought of the Day: Two Towers?
Song of the Day: Shinhwa-My Own Secret

well, there's plenty to write about but i really just don't feel like it right now. i cleaned up my blog a little bit. fixed my archives and got rid of the korean music banners. kinda messy and inconsistent. man, i wish i knew how to html. what a time killer.

Thought of the Day: Wasting time.
Song of the Day: MXPX-Scooby Doo, Where Are You

last night, i finally played frustration with my most challenging player, tiffanie kimmmmmm. there was no competition for her. "oh dang," was all that came out of my mouth. we must've played like 10 games and i didn't win a single one. what kind of techinque was she using? how could she remember where every card was? in conclusion, i am forced to conclude (haha dykas!) that little ms. tiffanie has HAD an advantage over me this whole time! photographic memory. no fair. she wins. i lose.

right now, it is 5 in the afternoon. i just woke up an hour ago. literally, half of my day is spent in a world of dreams. but these dreams seem to become more and more fun to dream. with the blurred memory that i have, i can still remember having dreams where simon was eating my fried rice, where justin came to irvine and we were eating sandwiches in a restaurant even though the place looked nothing like irvine, where i bumped into these gangsters and they wanted to fight but i somehow got the ability to fight with my leg just like in Surf Ninjas, and finally a dream where simon came into the room and told me to wake up b/c it was 2:09pm. they don't sound so exciting but if you were there with me, you would've had a good time. even though they weren't eventful dreams, they were happy dreams you know? when i woke up, my back was aching alot though. ugh, today's weather is crap.

Thought of the Day: I need a sleeping bag.
Song of the Day: Forever God Is Faithful

my brother took his braces off yesterday and is now wearing retainers. man, that evokes alotta memories of when i used to wear braces. when i was 6-8, all of my friends were getting braces and it was supposed to be a really big deal...a cool thing in fact. haha. i was so excited when i got braces for the first time at the age of 6. i got my first retainer at 7. after two years of perfect teeth, all of my baby teeth were replaced with new UGLY permanent teeth. so when i was 10, i got braces again. this time, braces were NOT so cool. the next year and a half consisted of poking wires, intense rubber band patterns, and an occasional bloody mouth.

one really bad memory:

so 2 days after i got my braces, my school was going to Outdoor Ed. my teeth were still hurting ALOT and my wire was already beginning to come out of place, constantly poking my cheek. so i basically had trouble eating anything except for things like soup and water. in 5th grade, Bagel Bites were a big deal among all of the students. if your mom packed you Bagel Bites for lunch, you were the most popular kid for the next 40 minutes. you can trade it for almost anything...chips, candy, pencils, homework, toys, etc.. it was like gold to all of us! so one of my friends brings a whole bunch of bagel bites for lunch and everyone's asking away. i don't remember how i ended up getting one, but i do remember it was the most unpleasant eating experience i've ever had in my life. everytime i chewed, my teeth felt like they were going to break. my mouth was in agony and i was trying to fight back the tears, somehow trying to find whatever pleasure there was left in eating this curse. THEN all of a sudden, i hear a snap. A CRUNCH! oh my, so much pain! i was so scared to find out what happened, so i just swallowed everything that was in my mouth. later, i went to the bathroom and looked at my teeth in the mirror. a good centimeter of my top wire was missing!!! so basically, one bagel bite had caused me to break my braces and even eat a piece of it. yummy. i never ate a Bagel Bite again.

i'm so happy i finished all my orthodontics before high school.

last night, i went out with moe, olivia, cj, and seung-bae. i really didn't feel like going to noraebang, but justin was the driver so we had to go where he wanted to go. freakin' bastard. make all of us go to the bank to take out money. even though i finally got to hear Olivia sing her heart out, that was the worst noraebang experience i've ever had in my life. then we go to Denny's and call it a night. it was really fun hanging out with them in the beginning, but things just got really crappy in the end. i am so serious, Friend don't let friends hang out with Justin!

today, my mom's friends left for korea. i'm pretty happy that they're finally gone. i can now use the bathroom whenever i want, watch tv downstairs, and pee with the door open. *giggle* but i know my mom's really sad that they're gone. they were like her only friends. i KNOW she enjoyed their company so much. it's kinda like that feeling when you're in korea for vacation and it's time to go. korea was just so much fun and now it's back to crappy ol' America. *shrug*

Thought of the Day: Not chubby, but FAT!
Song of the Day: DJ Quiksilver-Planet Love

so yesterday, i had this awesome dream that i was back in the dorms. it was weird b/c the dorms looked nothing like they do in reality. it was nighttime and everyone was just chillin'. alotta people were in our room and a few people who usually don't come to our room were there too. it just felt really good to be back at home, greeting everyone and yeah, just chillaxin'! then all of a sudden, i hear my cell phone go off. aw crap! it was just a dream! J wanted to wish me a Merry Christmas. i was a bit unhappy that i was woken up but nevertheless grateful for the greeting. Merry Christmas to you too J! but geez, i seriously get phone calls EVERY SINGLE MORNING!!! well, they're not exactly in the morning. more like between the hours of 12-3...ugh, when i'm still asleep.

but last night, i had alotta trouble falling asleep. freakin' insomnia! i go to bed at 5:30 and don't fall asleep til 7:30am. what the crap right? so i just kinda lie there in bed, thinking about random people and reminiscing some good and bad times. i think i do this every night before i go to sleep. don't you guys?

i went to go watch Catch Me If You Can with dykas, dumbo, and B. haha, i have nicknames for everyone. anyways, the movie actually turned out to be quite entertaining. i actually liked it terrance! when you just watch the previews, it doesn't look like one of those movies that are going to turn out good. but you always have to remember who's directing the freakin' thing, and i guess they got real lucky b/c it was Steven Spiedlburg. man, that guy is seriously a genius. i don't think i've ever disliked a single movie coming from that man. God bless you Mr. Spiedlburg! you're my hero!

i mean, the man can even direct movies with DiCaprio! well, i guess i kinda respect this guy as an actor but just like every guy, i think he's gay. isn't he like bi or something? i don't know, i heard some bad news about that guy. but unlike mr. dicaprihomio, there are a few actors i think that are really talented...

1. edward norton.
2. tom cruise.
3. tom hanks.
4. kevin spacey.
5. john travolta.
6. al pacino.
7. jim carrey.

notice how i did not list any actresses? well, that's b/c they all suck. i mean, they don't suck but they're not outstanding. take another look at those 8 men i listed. those guys are special. definitely not your everyday actors. they're special. my heroes.

i didn't get much this christmas, but i sure did get a crapload of money! i usually don't receive money as a gift but i really got alot this year. it kinda sucks though when i get money b/c i just dump it into my account where i already have a few thousand dollars from my mom. when you put money into an account that is already full of someone else's money, it loses alotta significance. if my account was just full of money that i had saved up from work and i added more x-mas money, that'd be alrite. but i haven't worked in months so i just live off of some money my mom saved for a while. i feel pretty bad taking her money. someday, i'm going to make it up to her. i'm going to pay back every cent she gave to me. geez, i'm going to end up buying her a car or something.

Thought of the Day: Boring X-mas.
Song of the Day: J-Deep In The Night

today is Christmas Day. Christ+Mas = More Christ or Worship Christ. however, this isn't exactly the way i feel. last night, i went to the Christmas Eve service and i saw the adults doing their presentations with songs and videos. when i saw them get together and fellowship with one another, it made me very jealous. they were all so happy, eating dinner together, playing games, and exchanging gifts. they were having so much fun. and then i look at my family. my mom goes out with her friends to some other family's house and they have their fun. my dad's in korea. my brother and i just stay home and eat whatever's in the fridge. now, i'm not asking for a conversation full of pity but i just cannot help feeling bitter. i mean, i know i am sooooooo better off compared to many people who are MUCH less fortunate. there are people with single parents or even no parents at all. there are people with no homes. no friends. no money. nobody. nothing. and here i am complaining. so i am in a very frustrated mood. i wanna be angry but i shouldn't. i wanna complain but i have no right to. i deserve better, but i honestly do not. it's really hard celebrating x-mas. like thanksgiving, it's just another day.

so i was eating a really late dinner and my mom comes home with her friends. and as i'm eating, they decide to sit at the table and have a conversation with me.

lady: do you know how much your mother loves you? you know how much she loves you right?
me: (busy eating). yeah sure.
lady: she loves you very much. we don't have to tell you that. your mother tells us that all the time.

and believe me, this is not the first time i've heard this stuff before. my mom always makes sure i know that she thinks that she is VERY proud of me. it's very depressing. i feel like she thinks i'm going away forever or something. i think she's going through her menopause thing. i heard those things are supposed to make you really depressed or something. lots of mood swings and stuff right? i don't know. it was just a conversation that i did not feel like having on Christmas Eve.

well, if you can't tell by now, i'm writing in a really unhappy tone at the moment. i had a pretty crappy day yesterday. i felt like i was abandoned, used, and betrayed all at once. i felt like yesterday was such a waste...kinda like "why did yesterday have to happen?" well, i did have some pleasant conversations with different friends but all in all, the day was pretty depressing. if i had to sum it all up in one word, it would have be the word, "fake!" but i was thinking about this while i was driving last night. why are you so unhappy right now? why are alotta small things getting to you? so i pondered and pondered. the best answer i could think of was the fact that i was just plain ol' bored! not just bored at the moment but bored with life in general. everything just kinda sucks. meaningless. pointless. boring. don't worry, this is no suicide note. i'm just doing a little expression therapy with myself. i need to blow some steam on my blog. much wiser than beating up simon or doing some angry driving. i feel so unstable. i feel quite irritated. argh! maybe it's just the fact that it's 5 in the morning. emotions are usually unstable at this hour. man, when am i going to wake up tomorrow?! alrite, that's enough for tonight. time for some sleep therapy.

Thought of the Day: Hi Tiff.
Song of the Day: DJ Sammy-Boys Of Summer

today, i played some basketball with the boys. lots of sweat and blisters. the usual fun. i even got simon's basketball pumped up today so that was a fat plus! after a nice shower, i picked up my pictures from Long's. dang, i haven't had such good pictures in a long time! i got some great pictures of friends from irvine and up here. i'm only disappointed with the ones that i took at the x-mas sleepover. those came out like crap...especially the blanket game one. man, that was just chaos and ugliness. haha. no matter (i totally regret not taking pictures of henry's bruised arm. that sucker was definitely a kodak moment. lol.).

so tonight, i made dykas and simon watch Office Space with me again. it wasn't as good as the first time but i still like it alot. i think they just did a really good job with the characters. brilliant! oh, speaking of brilliance i cannot wait til the movies of 2003! they either stir up curiosity, expectation, or just straight up excitement...

1. T3-c'mon, this will probably be Arnold's last movie. he only knows how to play mindless explosion gun movies.
2. When Lloyd Met Harry-boy wasn't i caught off guard! i am soooo Dumb & Dumber all the way....with or w/o Jim Carrey!
3. Bruce Almighty-2 words. Jennifer Anniston!
4. Matrix 2-no need for an explanation here.

there's some other stuff i'm considering but these are my Must See's.

we were all chillin' in my room and then i get a call from my cell phone. it's my mom. she calls twice. she can hear us from my room. we need to turn it down. amazing what cell phones are used for these days.

gosh, the book of Isaiah is a pretty "dry" book to read. there's over 60 chapters and i'm not even half way through. gosh, i can't wait til i get to the New Testament.

Thought of the Day: Winter break is just chillaxin'.
Song of the Day: T-You (Sad But True)

testing...

i finally watched Office Space on my computer like at 2 in the morning last night. man, that movie is one funny movie! i love the exaggerations, the symbolism, the themes, the humor, and of course every male's beloved Jennifer Anniston. dang, she's seriously a really pretty actress no? sometimes i wonder...what does Brad Pitt have that i don't? well, one thing's for sure and that's Jennifer Anniston! mmmmmm, that's about it.

today, i came home from church and took a very unrelaxing nap. i felt like i was asleep even though i wasn't. a few tosses here and a few tosses there. grrrr...frustration. hmmmm, speaking of frustration, i haven't played that card game since annie left? dang, i remember when i used to play that game with tiffanie back when i was senior. i mean, we were like REALLY good at that game. geez, when we played that game it was definitely no game. the winner was arrogant and the loser was pissed. i'm still scared to ask her to play. not a good christian game at all! that also reminds me of the times i used to play alotta chess with simon. crazy. absolutely crazy. all i can say is, sometimes i can be one bitter mother. ahahahahahahaha. that ALSO reminds me of that time when i was beating the crap outta bunz in pool. he would like throw the ball on the table and then cajun would imitate him with the F word. ahahahhahahahaha. i think only dykas remembers. man, good memories. lol. alrite, enough of this disorganized nonsense...

i took simon to go shoot some pool b/c i was bored and he was bored. man, it was terribly boring, winning OR losing to him! when you're just playing with someone that sucks, it takes the fun out of the game. so instead of playing for 2 hours, we called it quits after 1 and drove home. haha. i have this really bad habit with my brother whenever we're talking about games or competition. like whenever he starts talking about people who are really good at something like let's say pool, i ALWAYS have to ask him if they're better than me...

simon: yeah, he's pretty good at pool.
me: oh really? you think i can beat him?
simon: um...i don't know. you guys are both pretty good.
me: but you've seen me shoot alot. i can probably beat him right?
simon: uh yeah. probably. you guys are good in different ways.
me: yeah, i can probably beat him.

this also goes for Puzzle Fighter, chess, basketball, monopoly, speed, driving, frustration, wait...did i just say driving?!

after yet another delicious meal of korean food, i went out with chang, cj, moe, and olivia.

noraebang...

(after justin sings).
chang: man, i want to get that song now.
justin: was it b/c my singing was good or b/c the song was good?
chang: no, the song was good.
me: ahahahhahahahah.

two weeks notice...

olivia: gosh, that was such a cute movie!
moe: yeah, it was good.
me: um, it was alrite. an ok chick flick.
justin: dude, i loved it!

ok, can someone say GAY?! okok. that's kinda messed up. i have my share of favorite chick flicks as well. let's see, there's Legally Blonde, Notting Hill, and My Sassy Girl. but that's about it! 3 or less is fine. 4 or more is gay.

so today would be Christmas Eve's Eve. 2 days until X-mas. man, of all the winters, this year seems to be lacking the "x-mas feel" the most. perhaps, every year gets worse and worse. this also goes for my birthdays, thanksgivings, and winter and summer breaks. but before i go off topic again, today's message was about how the birth of Christ is the epitome of promise and grace. it's pretty hard trying to celebrate x-mas with the right heart when society has completely transformed this holiday into just giving and receiving gifts. i mean, i'm all for gifts too....who isn't right? but still, we need to constantly remind ourselves what dec. 25th is all about. and as PJ preached today, it's about promise and grace. the best gift of all.

random...

so as i was zoning out during church today, i was thinking about a conversation about God that i had with my friend several weeks ago. i remember we were talking about how Christians are the only ones who can be genuinely happy and Non-Christians cannot. so as i was thinking about our conversation and i JUST remembered that i forgot to tell my friend WHAT make christians so different from others. and the reason for this is b/c believers have a personal relationship with God. it isn't just like He's up there and we're down here. there is a very personal and intimate relationship we have with the Big Guy Upstairs. that's what makes christians so different from other religions. while the other beliefs and philosophies are JUST about being a "good" person and serving their god, christians have something special with their Creator. we do this through reading the Bible and prayer, which leads to an obedient lifestyle. church seems like a very boring, strict, and time-consuming lifestyle that only causes controversies in people's conversations. this whole personal relationship thing with God-it is a very difficult concept for unbelievers to fathom. but what can i say? if you knew the truth, wouldn't you want others to believe too?

Thought of the Day: Obedience = Contentment
Song of the Day: Eve-Lover

so far, i've taken simon to go watch Drumline, Hot Chick, and Empire. i feel kinda bad not taking him out much this break. i've only been shooting pool with jonna, chillin' with cj, and sleeping in like no other. man, just about every college student has been ranting on their blogs about how their sleeping schedule is messed up. but i assure you, i am by far the "worst" sleeper of you all. try going to bed at 3:00am and waking up at 3:00pm! gross. look at the indolence. the lack of productivity. the gaining of weight. and it's not like i'm catching up on my sleep from college either. i get plenty! i go to irvine, remember?

cj: man, high school is nothing. wait til you take college courses!
moe: i don't want to go to college!
me: don't even trip. college is cake! haha.
moe: screw it, i'm going to irvine. UC Irvine High School!
olivia: yeah, me too!

last night was the annual yg x-mas sleepover. i wasn't exactly sure what to expect that night. well, there's always the "grip" of food, the out-of-control games that B cannot control, and the nerve-racking gift exchange. man, the games were so much funner than i expected though. we first played the "blanket game." you basically have a blanket serving as a wall for both teams. you have a representative on each team and the other teammates try to distract the other representative. when the blanket comes down, the representatives have to call out the other representative's name first. lol.

chang: ahhhhhhh!!!
me: chang!

the second game was "circle of death." it's kinda like mafia except the 2 killers are the people who get the jokers. they kill people by winking at them and people try to guess who the killers are. if you guess wrong, you die.

me: (sarcastically) gosh, susan's so stupid!
simon: ahahhahahahahah.

and last but not least, the infamous Mafia! this was probably the funnest game b/c it's always fun accusing people and see the accused getting all pissed and defensive...

cj: i object!

but i think last night was a good indicator that i've grown up alot.

1. listening to middle schoolers talk about their meaningless drama. it's so cute! haha.
2. once again, almost all of the boys STILL play video games all night.
3. i actually had a conversation with frank that lasted for more than 10 min.!
4. almost every conversation i had involved the subject of college.
5. talking with high school students (in general) was sooooo boring!

what can i say? i've changed. i'm still changing. want an apology? i'm sorry. it's inevitable. BUT! i did realize a GOOD thing about last night. even though i felt a little out of place last night, i felt like i was having a much more genuine fun compared to the parties in the dorms. perhaps, it is b/c we have a reason for the fellowship that we have. not to "just have fun," but rather b/c we gather for a special reason. there's that unity that pagans cannot have. we all gather together as believers and God provides the happiness. yeah, i didn't have MUCH fun, but i nevertheless had FUN! you feel me?

loudest laugh of the night...

cj: my name is justin. i'm...
jonna: GAY!
everyone: ahahahahahahahahahah.

Thought of the Day: Why do we live as if we're defeated and not victorious?
Song of the Day: Sharp-With Coffee

last night, i was planning on just relaxing at home and watch some anime before i went to bed. BUT NO! i just HAD to go out b/c cj wanted to chill with weyman and brandon. so i go all the way to san jo to go see weyman's place. his place is pretty big cause it has like 3 rooms and 2 bathrooms...6 people! so we were just talking and he told me how he kinda regrets not dorming cause his apt. life is really boring. poor guy. dormlife is like a once in a lifetime thing! anyways, since pothead brandon was there, they were going to blaze so we just bounced...

weyman: c'mon! finals are done! it's winter break. you don't have a curfew anymore. let's smoke phil!
me: no, i'm cool guys. enjoy yourselves.
weyman: alrite, we'll get you next week. haha.

however, later that night...

me: i only have a 100 dollar bill.
cj: just pay for the whole thing alrite?
me: dude! we're supposed to split 50-50!
cj: ok, how about 70-30?
me: no! why are you trying to take advantage of me? 50-50!
cj: dude ok, i'll pay i'll pay!
(i break my 100 and get change and decide to tip $6).
cj: hey, she was really nice to us. give her more!
me: no, i only have a 6 and a 10.
cj: give her 10.
me: fine!

this went on for quite a while but i ended up paying for the whole bill. he only paid for gas. (no Skaters! last night is now considered the dinner i promised you!). man, no more going out with cj. i hate that stubborn bastard.

Thought of the Day: Friend don't let friends hang out with Justin.
Song of the Day: Boxcar Racer-Letters To God

cj's gift: fancy looking silver Guess watch. thanks man.

koko house: korean restaurant with alotta loud drunk koreans. ended up paying too much but i had a good time with cj and chang.

lord of the rings: awesome movie. it was so much better than the first one, but you still need to watch the first one to understand the second one. at irvine, we have one side of the dorms called Middle Earth and all the buildings fall under the Lord of the Rings theme...

Rohan, Pippins, Gandolf, Evenstar, Lorien, Rivendell, Isengard, Hobbiton, Shire...but no Grey Havens?!

because i watched the movie at 4 in the morning, i got some sleep at 9:30 and woke up at 2:30. we went to go eat hotdogs and pizza and Costco...

chang: i hate eating the hotdog with the buns! why can't they just give me the hotdog w/o the bun?
me: ahahahhhahaha. sick!

dang, annie's right. each day goes by oh so slow! that's cool though. i like it that way. at least the sky's been clearing up these days.

Thought of the Day: Exhausted.
Song of the Day: SM Town-My Angel My Light

i was walking home this morning and thought to myself...what is the purpose of life? what do people live for? and i think the obvious yet profound answer is TO BE HAPPY! people find happiness in many different ways:doing drugs, having a boyfriend/girlfriend, making/spending money, etc.. so i was thinking, what is my true source of happiness? and this obvious and profound answer is GOD! everything else is very momentary, vanishing, temporary, finite, dissatisfactory, blah blah blah. i know that the only way to be content is to have happiness that the Lord gives us. and these days, i look at my life and it is quite discontent. i try to find happiness in secular things such as "chillin'." i already know the solution to my problem. i almost always do. i am no ignoramus. BUT, i am still a fool. what kinda idiot continues to solve the problem when he already knows the answer. straight up stupid!

so anyways, i tried to find some accountability in some friends of mine. it's always encouraging to have people watch your back in the things you say or do. i make promises. they make promises. however, why is it that my "real" friends aren't out there for me? why aren't they helping me run this race that we call life? and i guess the answer to this question is that they too are struggling themselves. they are either ignorant, indifferent, or both...idiots. so i always ask God to help me with my sins and struggles. unfortunately, you cannot just "let go and let God." you need to show a little effort yourself...actually alotta effort. i mean what's faith w/o works right? and with the whole accountability thing...i guess if you want the job done right, you just gotta do it yourself. *shrug*

note: all non-christians readers will most likely not understand or misunderstand my written thoughts. we live in two different worlds. discussion is always welcome...

right now, i don't even care about my reputation. if people are disappointed in me, so be it. if people are still cool with me, so be it. it doesn't matter. the only thing that means to me is how God looks at me. He knows wassup.

Thought of the Day: It's all up there.
Song of the Day: Here I Am To Worship

i met up with cj last night and chilled, not exactly like old times but it was good seeing him again. driving home in the rain was no fun at all. i ran into two flooded areas (and i mean FLOODED!) that scared the crap outta me. as i was driving, i could slowly see the water rising and i was worried about the water seeping into the doors. it was that flooded! but after i got past them w/o seeing any water in the car, i was relieved and got the best freakin' sleep in a long time.

i had two REALLY good dreams that i can still almost remember clearly. now that i think about it, i can see what kinda thoughts my brain was having...my worries, desires, and even what kind of relationships i have with people. anyways, i was rudely awakened by mills high school students who got school cancelled b/c their power went out. man, so many blackouts all over the san mateo county. you don't understand how many people have told me about fallen trees and leaks in their houses b/c of this cursed weather.

so i'm chillin' at hillsdale and i receive a phone call from my mom....

me: hello?
mom: where exactly did you go last night?
me: um, i went to go pick up justin and went to Denny's.
mom: the carpets in our car are all wet. what happened?!

stupid floods.

earlier today, cj came over and i gave him his x-mas gift: JDRAZOR! i received my expected reaction. complaints with alotta smiles. "what am i supposed to do with this?! you are so gay! you always get me things that you like for yourself. why are you so gay?! don't you know it snows in Cornell til may? you are such a homo!" and so forth. no worries. i know he likes it. it's his own way of telling me thanks. you're welcome dude.

Thought of the Day: Rain rain go away.
Song of the Day: No Use For A Name-Why Doesn't Anybody Like Me

last night, i tried to teach olivia how to shoot pool. the poor thing told me she had never played pool in her life! 17 years old and never touched a pool stick. man, such deprivation. anyways, we got the rules and the basics down. at least she knows how to hold the darn thing now. haha.

olivia: don't you need to be muscular to shoot pool?
me: no. pool is not a sport. it's a game. even you can play.

so after i dropped her off, i gave her the x-mas gift i got her but later found out that it shattered during some part of the trip. guilt trip and apologies. what a waste.

i went to yg service today b/c i was just too tired to go to the college one. i really enjoyed PJ's message about how God works in our good AND bad situations. i mean, we already know this stuff but it's always encouraging to hear it again. but it was kinda discouraging to see that alot of the senior girls were missing. gosh, what a bad trend. anyways, i also got my criticism for my hair and clothes. irvine this, irvine that! la this, la that! *sigh* you jealous northerners. =D

Thought of the Day: CJ's coming tonight!
Song of the Day: LFO-Girl On TV

oh yeah, i always forget to write about this...

the rumors are true! students actually "streak" during finals week!
(streak = running around outside butt naked).

last night...

so since minh do was done with his finals, he had a strong desire to drink that night. so he invited over a "few friends," which ended up turning our hall into a party with over 20 people. it's pretty boring when everyone's "having fun" and you're the only one that's fighting the temptations. but i guess it's a good lesson for me for future experiences. i mean, overcoming temptations do make us stronger in the end right? but anyways, homeboy drank soooooo much last night. beer after beer after beer. then came the best part: BLAHEAU!!! first time seeing minh do throw up and look sick. but it's fun seeing him intoxicated. running around, making people drink, yelling and always smiling. DO MAH!

driving up home wasn't as bad i thought it would. i was asleep more than half the time and i got to sit shotgun the whole ride. so we're driving on highway 5 and as soon as we hit 151, it's starts raining. then it starts to get really really windy. naomi was driving a heavy jeep full of bags and people, but had no rear view...in a very windy and wet situation. scary stuff. solution? fall asleep fa sho!

man, coming back home was quite welcoming. a few lightning bolts here and a loud thunder there. man, it's pretty cold up here. i wish i was in irvine...

me: dang man, there's like lightning and thunder and rain! it's so gay.
minh: oh really?! dude, it's so nice out here.

it's official. there's no such thing as winter in so. cal.

Thought of the Day: "HECKA"?!
Song of the Day: DJ Sammy & Yanou-Heaven Piano Acapella Mix

me: omg! i got an A!
everyone: oh wow! cool!
me: oh wait. nevermind, i got a B.
everyone: ahahahahahahaha.

i was originally expecting a B but i felt pretty good about yesterday's final. as it turns out, of all the tests i took in that class, i did the worst on my final. 5 pts. away from an A. ugh. i was a little disappointed at first but i'm gradually feeling more and more content...or should i say indifferent? but it's all good. school is over and i have over 3 weeks of winter fun! alotta people have already gone home so it's becoming more and more quiet in the dorms. but as long as i have J, minh, and annie to chill with, it should be alrite at Grey Havens. today is the day to chill. tomorrow is the day to pack.

but speaking of packing, i'll be in a jeep packed with 3 girls, dykas, and alotta bags...for 8 hours on saturday?! oh the misery. the injustice!

Thought of the Day: This is how we do it and it's Thursday night!
Song of the Day: Avril Lavigne-Complicated

my first quarter in college is officially complete. i took my last final today which actually seemed a little too easy. it's kinda weird how i tend to stress during midterms but during finals, i am sooooo chill. J knows. bunz knows. simon knows. and the best part is that i'm not going home til sat.! i get to hang out with my irvine buddies for a few days w/o any studying to do! man, how sweet is that? but speaking of sweet, i got another x-mas gift today...

(coming back from finals).
me: i'm a free man!
minh: notice anything different about our room?
me: no. oh wait! what's that?!
minh: annie got us gifts.
me: all of that?!
minh: open yours!
me: *gasp*

annie got me a freakin' UCI sweater! gosh, she also went out of her way to write a card. i feel kinda bad cause minh and i just got her some stupid lotion. ugh. philburt says thank you to annie chung. awesome...size is perfect too!

Thought of the Day: Time to relaaaaaaaaaaaaaaze.
Song of the Day: Blink 182-I Won't Be Home For Christmas

i wanna first start off by welcoming my friends, Connie and J, to the blogging community.
J: much thanks for the kind words. your company is always a joy to our room.

after sharing a few song recommendations with my friend, annie chung, she encouraged me to download a few songs myself. Finch and No Use For A Name. freakin' dope. this moved me to find out about the remaining mysteries of Boxcar Racer and New Found Glory. *drool* what hidden treasures! i'm in that alternative mood or phase again. loud headbanging ear pleasure!

yesterday was supposed to be my studying day for my psych. final. what was supposed to be at least 4 hours of studying got cut in half...

david: what the hell?! what are you doing fool?!
me: playing cards.
david: you aren't studying?!
me: nope. i just finished wrapping my x-mas gifts and i'm just chillin'.
david: dang, i studied more than you last time and you still did better than me!
me: dude, just chill. you're stressing out.
david: yeah, i think i'd better go wrap some x-mas presents.

eh, playing Frustration outside in the halls is so much more fun than reading about Language Development.

well, i was actually planning on studying at night but we ended up exchanging our x-mas gifts in our suite b/c minh do wanted to get it out of the way. it was pretty fun exchanging gifts with everyone. i was happy that minh was happy with my gift, new speakers for his computer. i got some pajama pants from willburt and connie and a $5 thing for In N' Out from Mindy and Natalie. it was actually kinda funny cause minh and i were just eating dinner and we see Natalie...

natalie: hey guys! i'm going to stop by Grey Havens later to give you your gifts.
(she leaves).
me: DUDE, SHE GOT US SOMETHING! WE NEED TO GET HER SOMETHING BEFORE SHE COMES INTO OUR DORM!

so we hurry back to our place and burn a cd for Natalie and Mindy. then annie unexpectedly comes over and we make her decorate the cds. SUCCESS! they love it!

today...

i was supposed to be in bed by 2 last night but i ended up sleeping after 3:30. i took my psych. final and felt like i could have done so much better. but like my friend's email says, "C is for cookie and that's good enough for me." haha.

Thought of the Day: One down. One to go.
Song of the Day: New Found Glory-Never Ending Story Theme Song

it is officially finals week in the UC campuses. a week of staying up, stress, and study. however, i don't quite fall under the last two S's. yes, i do stay up, but i replace stress and studying with playing cards and listening to music. i see students studying really late at night in the studyrooms as i stroll around outside on minh's scooter. haha. what am i doing?! man, my roommate influences me alot..the way i talk, play, eat, and sleep.

me: minh, you're such a bad influence. what kind of roommate are you?!
minh: THE BEST!

Avril Lavigne to Good Charlotte. i thought they were just another one of those wannabe groups that only last for 1 album, but i decided to give them a chance after hearing Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. man, i've come to realize that alotta groups are similar to one another but they're all unique in their own different way. Good Charlotte is awesome. just awesome.

today, i finally got a chance to talk to my friend about God. man, it has seriously been a while since i've tried evangelizing to anyone. it was a long chat but it was good. of course, it wasn't exactly the most pleasant or easiest conversation. it's just like any other time i talk to people about God....it's frustrating, confusing, and difficult. but i tried my best to answer and clarify any questions that my friend had. my presentation wasn't so great but may God be pleased with my efforts. people don't change people. God does.

Thought of the Day: Stomachache.
Song of the Day: Nemo-Goldfish Song (hahahahahah.)

yesterday, i got about 62.5% of my x-mas shopping done and it only took me 3 hours! i feel like i'm getting better and better at choosing gifts and managing my money. well, i'm actually still working on the over-spending...especially on gifts for myself. yeah!!! so according to my calculations, i'll be spending $300 instead of $200. i know this is bad, but i suppose this could always be worse, right? oh, and if you don't get a gift from me this year, it was probably b/c you weren't that nice to me. i have my own checklist called NICE THINGS THAT PEOPLE DO FOR ME. the top 10% will receive gifts. the remaining 90% should not even expect to receive a card. yeah, sometimes life just isn't fair.

last night, i played blackjack for hits with minh, janet, and annie. i usually suck at cards but i was lucking out like crazy last night. everytime i won, i went all out on minh's arm. i must have won 15 while my poor roommate won 3. we had to stop b/c his arm was starting to look like it was chewed up by a dog. but the fun didn't stop there...

i haven't gambled with cards in a really long time. i think the last time i played for money was when i was in 8th grade. man, that was a long time ago. i remember playing matt ji for pushups and i remember ending up with like over 200 pushups. in otherwords, i was destined to stay away from places like Las Vegas or Tahoe. but i felt really lucky tonight so we all decided to play with our laundry money. towards the end, i ended up winning 3 dollars from minh...which is kind of alot if you're playing with quarters! but the last game, i decided to make it a little more exciting and put in all 3 dollars. my roommate who was seriously playing like crap the whole night got a blackjack and won all of our money. so i ended up not gaining or losing any of my money. gosh, gambling is alot of fun! i can see how people can make it an idol but i can also see how people can just enjoy gambling for the sake of having fun. and of course, winning is always cool.

Thought of the Day: Last lecture of 2002!
Song of the Day: Wheesung-A Bad Dream

it's funny how i told myself i was going to do some crazy studying this week, starting with monday? however, my decisions turned to start with tues...then wed...then sat...and after finding out my psych. final isn't cummulative, i'm pretty sure i'm going to have to once again postpone my diligence to perhaps something like the day before the final? =D so it'll be like taking another midterm only it'll be worth a few more points. monday, i have no class so i'll just cram. tuesday, i'll have nothing after the pysch. final so i'll cram again that night for my next day's bio. MINH DO STYLE! *sigh* i know i ought to be disappointed in myself but i feel somewhat proud that i can pull off such indolence. haha. the upperclassmen tell me and dykas to not slack off but i feel a sense of pride when they look at their procrastinating youth. afterall, this IS my last weekend in Irvine before i have to go back up north. i definitely want to spend x-mas with my dormmates so i'll just make the best of my days that i should be studying. (simon, i know what you're thinking. just close the mouth and accept my lifestyle).

last night, i made my x-mas shopping list which consists a total of 15 people? this is alot better compared to my annual 20+. and b/c i don't work anymore, i'll have to be extra stingy with my gifts, especially on people like CJ (who ask for gay expensive things like Prada?!). this year, my x-mas budget has shrunk from a usual $500+ to a maximal $200. even though i don't know my dormmates THAT well, i'm happy to find myself picking out appropriate gifts at an appropriate price. gosh, notice how i relate every gift/person to money? man, this is seriously a korean thing. korean people are oh so cheap! i mean, my actions aren't so blunt about it but deep down inside, i know i'm counting every penny. why am i like this?! but i guess that's just our sinful nature. i heard that the richer you are, the cheaper you become...but the poorer you are, the more generous you tend to be. yes, it is definitely true. but of course this doesn't hold for all people. it's just the general trend or pattern that we see. anyways, my original point was supposed to be about how my x-mas shopping isn't so bad this year but it somehow turned into something about korean people being a Scrooge. oh well, enjoy your shopping everyone!

Thought of the Day: Merry Shopping!
Song of the Day: Cherry Filter-Sweet Little Kitty

i absolutely abhor siging up for classes! i remember when i first got the Schedule of Classes for winter quarter. i picked out all of my desired classes so that everything fit nice and snug into my comfortable schedule. you would think that finding out about your enrollment window and signing up early would get you all the classes at the right times. um..a big fat NO! it just doesn't work that way. classes fill up super duper fast. gosh, i can just imagine what it would be like if students had to sign up at a certain place at school rather than going online. people would be running, screaming, pulling, pushing, throwing, kicking, and perhaps even biting each other just to sign up for a class. thank goodness we have telephones and the internet. however, what classes am i left with? well, if i'm lucky i just might be able to squeeze into the waiting list. however, in most cases i'm forced to choose a different class, which most likely is already filled up, then another class, then another, and another...until i finally give up and go to my blogger and start ranting about the injustice.

me: i'm just a small freshmen that wants to get into Bio 10. is that so much to ask for?
uci system: IT IS TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR! MOVE TO BIO 45! THAT CLASS IS BORING AND EMPTY. YOU EITHER ADD THAT CLASS OR DIE!!!
me: *sniff* yessir.

well, at least dorm life is still really fun. we do the dumbest things but they seem to be funnest things we can think of...

1. blackjack for quarters.
2. punching each other's arms.
3. punching each other's stomachs.
4. racing down the halls with Razors.
5. flipping onto my bunk.
6. flipping off of my bunk.
7. hanging from my bunk.
8. jumping onto my bunk.
9. watching "one episode" of GTO.
10. helping bunz and annie with their final project.

willburt: highfive highfive! (runs away). LOSER LOSER!

Thought of the Day: Winter Quarter is going to be gay.
Song of the Day: Brown Eyes-For You

dude, the weather is sooooooo nice over here! i don't need to wear any stupid sweaters or put on warm socks as soon as i wake up. it's supposed to be winter but it still feels like late summer over here...

i went into mindy's dorm today and i was left speechless. she lives in a phase 1, which is supposed to be the crappiest dorms at Middle Earth. however, her floor was transformed into something awesome. mindy's roommate, natalie, decorated their living room with a whole buncha x-mas stuff and their room is polluted with posters and pictures on the walls. i mean, i've seen some pretty creative decorations in my day but this is by far the dopest of them all. it makes my room feel really naked. it makes bunz's room look like a joke. haha. it's ok though. i guess it's a girl thing and i am obviously no girl, right?

phuuuu! finals are next week. so much studying to do. i'm actually going to try to study little by little everyday instead of my usual cramming style. but after finals, i get to chill like crazy. that's the great thing about quarter system. after finals, you're completely done with that class. no hw. no projects. you're done. so when you break, you BREAK! you can enjoy winter break as if it was a short summer vacation. spring break will be the same too. gosh, all i want is a B in psych. and bio. A is unrealistic. C is just crap.

Thought of the Day: Anti-social.
Song of the Day: Juvenile-Back That Ass Up

8.5 hours is a long time in a car...

my thanksgiving break wasn't as great as i thought it would be. not a single bite of turkey. too many moments of boredom in my room. seeing my friends didn't seem like a big deal either. i don't know. what exactly was i suppposed to expect? well, let's see the flipside or the more optimistic version of the story.

i went to Stonestown with kevin just cause we were so bored. however, shopping was actually fun cause we ended up buying lots of clothes that had prices too good to be true. you can definitely feel the christmas season finally kicking in with all of its gay songs and x-mas trees in every corner of each store. it's cool though. i like it but i don't like it. it's like you like the x-mas feeling but at the same time you feel that it's really annoying and overdone, right? it's like you can't wait to get a whole buncha presents from everyone but you remember that you also have to a part of this x-mas exchanging garbage. why can't i just receive? why do i need to give too? i'm a poor college student fool! i wanna buy stuff for myself! it doesn't say anywhere in the Bible that receiving is a sin does it?
note: this story isn't going anywhere.

but after shopping, we met up with the boys and went to Serra Bowl. it was good seeing everyone again. not much changes. just a few pounds here and there and everyone sporting their college gear. ah yes, and the reactions to my beloved hair. "phil looks like a korean back-dancer!" "you're gonna go bald phil!" yeahyeah. thanks everyone. i love you too guys.

at night, i went to GE again and met up with two of my beloved friends ("saekki" and "bastard"). it was weird seeing them. proud yet disappointed. confused yet apathetic. pissed yet happy? no scratch that last one. it's hard to put such emotions into proper words. i don't know. you guys are growing up so late. i started growing up in freshmen year. haha. ambiguous no? let's keep it that way.

basketball was pretty fun. i sucked like a mother but it was still fun.

pat: what?! you can't let matt make those!

hahahahahahaha.

dinner was crap. i never want to go to Macaroni Grill again. we waited too long and the food wasn't even that great. i've had better pasta from canned ravioli. with the amount of money we spent that night, we should've just gone all out at a korean restaurant. stupid pat, always making the gayest plans!

noraebang wasn't that great either. it seems like we have less and less fun everytime we go. not everyone sings. alot of pity cheering. not so much joking and laughing. what's going on? are we getting too old for this stuff? is there too much shame in the game? 2 hours = 100 bucks. 13 people. you do the math.

over the break, i saw alot of people who i haven't seen in a long time. some people got pretty freakin' fat. some became miraculously thin! so much fluctuation in the physical world amongst my relationships with people. i guess i'm doing fairly decent so far. 2 months = 2 pounds. if this keeps up, i should have gained only 9 pounds out of the traditional 15 by the end of the year. but then again, exponential curves start out pretty slow in the beginning too. hmmmm...today's 3 cheeseburgers at In N' Out won't be much help either. but i guess if it tastes good, you just gotta let it pass right?

i did alot of pondering in the car today. lots of "conflict" going on in my life. a whole buncha thoughts on "should's" and "shouldn't's." so much thinking. just so much. but that all ended when i finally arrived to my beloved IRVINE! man, i never realized how much i really missed irvine. it's good seeing minh do again. it's good seeing willburt again. heck, it was even nice seeing henry again! lol. and of course, my sleeping schedule automatically changes again. up north, 1am is normal. down south, 5am is normal.

man, what a disorganized random story. really sucks. if i were a teacher, i'd give this crap a C-!

Thought of the Day: Praise God I'm back!
Song of the Day: Avalon-Testify To Love