i was walking home this morning and thought to myself...what is the purpose of life? what do people live for? and i think the obvious yet profound answer is TO BE HAPPY! people find happiness in many different ways:doing drugs, having a boyfriend/girlfriend, making/spending money, etc.. so i was thinking, what is my true source of happiness? and this obvious and profound answer is GOD! everything else is very momentary, vanishing, temporary, finite, dissatisfactory, blah blah blah. i know that the only way to be content is to have happiness that the Lord gives us. and these days, i look at my life and it is quite discontent. i try to find happiness in secular things such as "chillin'." i already know the solution to my problem. i almost always do. i am no ignoramus. BUT, i am still a fool. what kinda idiot continues to solve the problem when he already knows the answer. straight up stupid!

so anyways, i tried to find some accountability in some friends of mine. it's always encouraging to have people watch your back in the things you say or do. i make promises. they make promises. however, why is it that my "real" friends aren't out there for me? why aren't they helping me run this race that we call life? and i guess the answer to this question is that they too are struggling themselves. they are either ignorant, indifferent, or both...idiots. so i always ask God to help me with my sins and struggles. unfortunately, you cannot just "let go and let God." you need to show a little effort yourself...actually alotta effort. i mean what's faith w/o works right? and with the whole accountability thing...i guess if you want the job done right, you just gotta do it yourself. *shrug*

note: all non-christians readers will most likely not understand or misunderstand my written thoughts. we live in two different worlds. discussion is always welcome...

right now, i don't even care about my reputation. if people are disappointed in me, so be it. if people are still cool with me, so be it. it doesn't matter. the only thing that means to me is how God looks at me. He knows wassup.

Thought of the Day: It's all up there.
Song of the Day: Here I Am To Worship