So it seemed that it was cool for everyone to be in a relationship but me.
So I took matters into my own hands and ended up with him: him who displayed the characteristics of a cheater a liar an abuser and a thief. So why was I surprised when he broke into my heart? I called 911 but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting ‘cos it was me who let him in claiming we were just friends. I was already decided for me by the first date that even if he wasn’t, I was gonna make him the one. You know I was tired of being alone and I simply made up in my mind that it was about that time so I decided to drag him along for the ride ‘cos I was always the bridesmaid and never the bride. A virgin in the physical but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat and was tired of the wait. So I was gonna make him the one. He had a form of godliness but not much bbut hey hey I can change him, so I’ll take him; I mean he's close enough. Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter not knowing the value of its use to me. Arteries so clogged with my will it blocked his will from flowing through me. So I thank Christ that his blood pressure gave this heart an attack that flat-lined my obscure vision put me flat on my back. Through my ignorance he saw so through my sternum he sawed and cracked opened my chest and transplant so I was fit to molt in a new heart and a renewed rite spirit within. So now I fully understand better yet I thoroughly comprehend how much I need to wait for You. See the bad thing is that I knew he wasn’t You from the beginning ‘cos in the beginning was the word and he didn’t even sound or shine like your son. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks and all he could whisper was sweet empty nothings which meant nothing. He couldn’t even pray when I needed him to. Asking him to fast would be absurd so forget about being cleansed and washed with water through the word. But I know You. You’re already praying for me, even never having met me, let me assure You I will wait for You. I will no longer date, socialize or communicate with carbon copies of You to appease my boredom or to quench my thirsty desire for attention and short lived compliments from ‘sorta kindas’. You know, he sorta kinda right but sorta kinda wrong. His first name luke his last name warm. I won’t settle for false companionship, I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms attempting to find some closeness but never feeling so far far apart, ‘cause I just want to be held. ‘Cos all I gotta do is say —no. No more almost sessions of almost coming close passing winks and buying drinks and I’ma I’ma I’ma flirt who flirts with the ideology of ‘can you just tell me how much I can get away with and still be saved’? No more. I’ll stay in my bed alone and write poems about how I will wait for You. He won’t even come close, our fingers won’t even interlock, we won’t even exchange breath. ‘Cos I have thoughts that I’ve saved as in a file that God has only equipped you to open. I will no longer get rated down from so called friends and family talks about the concern for my biological clock when I serve the author of time —who is not subject to time but I am subject to Him. He has the ability to stop, fast, forward, pause or rewind at any given time. So if we could role play you would be Abraham and I would be Sarah or you could be Isaac and I could be Rebecca a servant’s answered prayer. I am bone of your bone flesh of your flesh, made up of your rib —Adam. And once we meet like electrons that will be bound to your nucleus completely indivisible —atom. We even speak the same math: one plus one plus one equals three which really equals one if you add ‘em. We were all created in His image but you have the ability to reflect, project and even detect the sun. If I were to explain what you look like you would have to look like a star, a son of the sun. I would gain energy simply from the light that You shine on me I would need you in order to complete my photosynthesis. I await Your revelation but once again from the genesis I will wait for You and I will know You, because when you speak I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom. Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses. Your faith will remind me of Abraham. Your confidence in God’s word will remind me of Daniel. Your inspiration will remind me of Paul. Your heart for God will remind me of David. Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah. Your integrity will remind me of Joseph and your ability to abandon your own will will remind me of the disciples, but your ability to love selflessly and unconditionally will remind me of Christ. But I won’t need to identify you by any special matthews or any special marks, ‘cos his word will be tatted all over your heart. And you will know me and you will find me where the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth, with the hospitality of Lydia as align with the submission of Mary, which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hannah. I will be the one drenched in Proverbs 31 waiting for you. But to my Father, my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth only if You should see fit. I desire Your will above mine so even if You call me to a life of singleness, my heart is content with You: the one who has sent. You are the greatest love story ever told, the greatest love ever known. You are forever my judge and I’m forever your witness and I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business. I will always be Yours and I will always wait for You, Lord. More than the watchmen wait for the morning more than the watchmen wait for the morning, I will wait.
Thought of the Day: Jae's Trip
Song of the Day: 4Minute-Bababa
I made the horrible mistake of going to bed at 9, only to wake up three hours later...quite awake. So I decided to finish reading the rest of the third book of the Percy Jackson series. There isn't that much to say about this book, but it did stir up some funny feelings when it described San Francisco as the most beautiful city Percy had ever seen. However, that burrito fight at the Hoover Dam did not make me happy at all. It reminded me of Russell Peters' description of Indians imagining throwing mashed potatoes everywhere at a wedding. Both ideas made me hungry for burritos and mashed potatoes. But the one thing that I did not expect to come out of this book was a profound quote spoken by the goddess of wisdom, Athena:
