i'm having a pretty rough week so far. ever since monday, things have been getting worse and worse...

monday:

dmv at 9:50 am. didn't have enough money to pay $56.00 fee. gotta mail in forms and wait instead of receiving everything on the spot.

cell phone bill was almost $100. i haven't been scolded by my mom for a looooong time.

tuesday:

i check my bank account history and find out that i've spent almost $700 in one month.

today:

revelations of being slandered w/o having any idea the whole time.

i've been doing alotta thinking today. God is really revealing so much to me all at once. you know, it hits you even harder when you haven't faced any serious problems for a long time. you were pretty content with everything for a period of time. but since you're so used to that easy ride, when all problems arise you get stomped with unhappiness as if you were feeling it for the first time.

i can't believe i spent that much money in just 30 days. even if i had a job, it'd take me 2 months to save up the amount that i spent. what's wrong with me?

i can't believe i used over 600 minutes in one month. this was the first time in a LONG that i went over my minutes...300 minutes over!

you know, i'm not used to hearing that people really dislike or hate me for the way i am. it just hasn't been common in the history of my life. i generally tend to get along with others or don't get noticed much...but rarely feelings of bitterness towards me. and i was thinking to myself....am i being persecuted for my faith? am i suffereing b/c i'm a christian? and sadly, the answer is no. i am being hated just b/c of my regular imperfect behavior. it's very discouraging stuff.

as i was walking to class today, i was thinking about the people that i personally dislike or hate. the people that i do not get along with and i try to avoid. more specifically, people who are not christian. you know, we are called to love them and to witness to them. but i find myself with more frequent thoughts of having them struggle or go through difficult times. instead of hoping that they'll find Christ, i find myself wishing curses upon them...and try to justify my reasoning by saying that God should punish them b/c God is a just God. man, what the heck is wrong with me? such a sinful and messed up thought process.

do people pray for me?

i really wish some people wouldn't read my blog.

Thought of the Day: Hebrews 12 is my favorite passage.
Song of the Day: City On A Hill-Sing Alleluia