i've been having alotta trouble with my students lately. all the bad things from drawing while i'm talking to lying straight to my face. sometimes, i get so mad at them that i start acting really immature on their own level. i feel really low afterwards. i can't tell you how many times i've desired to resort to violence. if they only knew, right?

i know people who are crazy stingy. i see people who spend so much money on trivial things for themselves yet can't spare a few bucks to buy me a meal. i know people who talk so much crap and complain about everything while the whole world can see that person's hypocrisy. i know complete jerks who act ridiculously different whenever people of the opposite gender walk into the room. i see stupid idiots who think the real smart people are stupid idiots. you can imagine how much judgement goes on in my mind and heart. if they only knew, right?

i can see so many of your mistakes. i take pity on your stupid jokes and comments. your contradictory words/actions are deafeningly loud and clear to my ears/eyes. you are so unattractive and awkward that i have no hope in y0u. you are a terrible person. if you only knew, right?

earlier today, a sister asked me what i do when my heart is hardened. i just told her that it's really hard for me or some dumb answer like that. i didn't really answer her question. i later realized that i just have to go back to the Gospel. while i was so despicable and detestable to Christ, He still showed (and continues to show) me a love greater than any parent or friend can show. if i have been shown so much undeserving love, how much more ought i love those who sin against me? if your heart is ever hard as stone, it must be softened with the humility of Christ.

Philippians 2:5-8-
5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature^[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature^[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death�
even death on a cross!

just like we sang today, TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS.

Thought of the Day: Lady Luck.
Song of the Day: Heavenly Sunlight