my cousin from Korea called me last night. even though we hadn't communicated in over 3 years, those 5 min. on the phone felt like we had never departed.

me: are you calling with a phone card?
cousin: no, i'm calling from home.
me: really? isn't that going to be expensive?
cousin: yeah, it's going to be expensive.

after we hung up, a wave of Korea nostalgia swept over me. dude, i am so ready to get out of here!

whenever i imagine myself living in Korea, i can't picture a good time. i tend to focus on the language barriers and culture shock that i will experience for several months. i have fearful thoughts that my cousins will be my only friends for one whole year. i also wonder how i will grow spiritually in a country like the motherland. i have yet to hear of a reformed church in Korea that i can serve and attend. *sigh* how am i going to manage without In N' Out for so long? i can barely last one week. can anyone guess what my last meal will be before i board the plane?

if i don't invite you to my graduation, don't take it personally. i only have 5 tickets for my ceremony.

Thought of the Day: Could it be, if you could be mine, we'd both shine.
Song of the Day: Nas & Ludacris-Virgo

i am having a very good day so far.

i had jury duty at 7:45am in Santa Ana. instead of staying til a potential 5:00pm and possibly coming in for subsequent days, i finished my duty by 11:00am. i was seriously so anxious and lost while i was in that courthouse that i had to use the bathroom every hour. i didn't know what to do, what to expect, or where to go. after my trial ended, i asked a guy on the way out what we were supposed to do now. he told me we were supposed to go back to the jury assembly room and wait for another assignment. after sitting there for 5 min., i JUST wanted to make sure so i went up to the counter. the lady validated my parking ticket and gave me my proof of completion. i was the first 10% to finish first. that stupid guy in the lobby almost caused me to waste a whole day in a juror's room. good thing i'm paranoid. praise God.

i had enough time to celebrate with some In N' Out for lunch with Kenny. after lunch, i found a very good parking spot on campus as soon as i entered the parking lot. after class, i stopped by the Counselors' office and got my "One Time Exception" petition signed by the dean. since i am doing very well in my hip hop class, i pushed to change my grade option to letter grade instead of Pass/No Pass. later tonight, i will be concluding this fortuitous day with a 11:59pm viewing of "X3". what a wonderful day! praise God.

Thought of the Day: N-word.
Song of the Day: Nas-A Message To The Feds, Sincerely, We The People

i am absolutely dreading school these days. i have 2 1/2 weeks of class left, and i will be officially done with my undergraduate career. these last few weeks have been going by like months. i find myself fidgeting a lot in class and looking at my watch every ten minutes. it is truly a wonder that i am not behind with my reading and assignments. but make no mistake that these papers and homework assignments are poorly prepared. having my last final on a friday doesn't help either. are there any other UC students feeling me?

burned out. are there any better words to describe me? i see it in other areas of my life as well. for example, my cluster boys are absolutely dead. i can feel their reluctance and apathy with a passion. don't even trip about it though-we're all on the same boat, right? another example is my student, Sean. homeboy cannot stand reading for the last 10 minutes of tutoring. this guy is like absolutely dying of sleepiness when reading but AS SOON AS we are done tutoring, he is back to his vigorous self. Sean is a testimony to me that it is all in the mind. you cannot always blame your shortcomings on the externals around you. most of the time, it is your perspective and attitude towards things. as the sagacious Sean Lee loved to say: "you just have to change your perspective" or something like that.

(switching gears).

today, this Korean girl from KCCC approached me to share the Gospel using the Four Spiritual Laws. instead of waving her away or telling her i was already a christian, i decided to be a little devil and play advocate. so we sat down, she literally read the entire booklet to me, and asked me if i wanted to accept Jesus. i asked her how she knew this was all true. she told me Bible. i asked how she knew the Bible was true. she didn't know. i asked her according to Law 1, if God loves me, why does He still send me to Hell? would He still love me while I was in hell? she didn't know and apologized, informing me that she just come from Korea 3 months ago to do mission training. i revealed i was a christian. she flipped.

there are too many unprepared christians out there. it is not enough to be passionate and courageous. where is your defense? it's kind of like seeing a quarterback run onto the field without the defense line. he can have the most passion and best offensive plays in the world, but if he has no defense, homeboy's gonna get hurt out there. if we're going to be witnesses of Christ, let us learn to be EFFECTIVE witnesses whom God has called us to be.

2 Corinthians 10:5-We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

i encouraged the girl to continue being bold but also to practice and always be prepared to answer questions that non-christians can ask at any moment. i hope that God uses this "traumatic" experience to give her a desire to study apologetics. afterall, that is essentially how i got started (9th grade trauma from a machine-gun interrogation by a non-christian friend in front of many other unbelievers). i am still grateful to this day for my all-star mentor, Chang, who introduced me to apologetics, reformed theology, and more specifically, Richard Pratt's "Every Thought Captive." this is the book that i am going over with Joecal for accountability. we only have two more chapters left. i'd encourage every believer to read this book soon. God made it a life-changing experience for me.

i have stupid jury duty on thursday. any suggestions?

Thought of the Day: Grade change.
Song of the Day: Dead Prez-Hip Hop

i've learned that much of hip hop is very political. i read lots of books and essays on hip hop as black protest. it's crazy interesting the first time you read about the deeper aspects of rap. but after you read about it a second time, and then a third time, and then a 100th time, you get a little tired of reading about Black people and their problems. this one book i'm reading though, Stand and Deliver, is very critical of the current hip hop generation but also analyzes past political figures like Jesse Jackson Jr. and the Black Panthers. there have been several black agendas and great rhetoric. there was even some activism like million man marches and protests in front of Washington. unfortunately, the aftermath was little or no change in public policy. BUT WHY?! if i've done my reading correctly, i think the solution to effective activism is a unified VISION.

the same should be with the Church. if we want to be a unified church, every member, committee, ministry, and leader needs to share in the same vision. and how do we obtain this same vision? the Gospel much be preached and emphasized in every aspect of church. every song, sermon, bible study, prayer meeting, and activity must be driven by the Gospel. the moment we stray from a Christ-centered purpose, division in vision is the consequence. division in vision results in division in ministry. CPC must have the same vision as Newsong. Newsong must have the same vision as Grace Community Church. Grace Community Church must have the same vision as City Light Church. The Visible Church must seek to glorify and shine Christ in this dark and sinful world.

Matthew 20:14-And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.

Revelation 7:14-"Sir, you know."

And he said, "These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. 15Therefore,
"they are before the throne of God
and serve him day and night in his temple;
and he who sits on the throne will spread his tent over them.
16Never again will they hunger;
never again will they thirst.
The sun will not beat upon them,
nor any scorching heat.
17For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd;
he will lead them to springs of living water.
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."

let's stop WORRYING about being biblical and start BEING biblical.

Black people throughout history have had a plethora of enthusiastic leaders that wanted to solve many of the same social, cultural, and economic problems. the problem: they all had their own vision. at the same time, many of today's "politically conscious" rappers merely express social problems and spread awareness without actually doing anything to fix those problems. disciples of Christ, do not merely be a "hip hop artist" who can articulate the Gospel or the Church's problems. BE AN ACTIVIST!

Thought of the Day: Ether.
Song of the Day: Nas-N.Y. State Of Mind

i laugh every time.




Thought of the Day: Aberration.
Song of the Day: Oasis-Don't Look Back In Anger

Thought of the Day: "Woah!"
Song of the Day: Wu-Tang Clan-Wu Tang Clan Ain't Nuthing Ta F' Wit

Check This Video Out!


Thought of the Day: Commodity.
Song of the Day: I Heard The Voice Of Jesus Say

i've been going through a harsh dry spell. little or no joy in serving the church. reading Jeremiah for devotionals seems monotonous and irrelevant. purity in thought and deed has been lacking. what can i say? i had forgotten the joys and blessings of the Gospel...until today. i recently noticed that i do not listen to ANY "christian" music besides my "Hymns Mix." well, as i was driving home after tutoring Juho for two hours, my ears paid special attention to Sandra McCracken's "Who Is This, So Weak and Helpless?":

1. Who is this, so weak and helpless,

Child of lowly Hebrew maid,

Rudely in a stable sheltered,

Coldly in a manger laid?

�Tis the Lord of all creation,

Who this wondrous path has trod;

He is God from everlasting,

And to everlasting God.

2. Who is this, a Man of Sorrows,

Walking sadly life�s hard way,

Homeless, weary, sighing, weeping

Over sin and Satan�s sway?

�Tis our God, our glorious Savior,

Who above the starry sky

Is for us a place preparing,

Where no tear can dim the eye.

3. Who is this? Behold him shedding

Drops of blood upon the ground!

Who is this, despised, rejected,

Mocked, insulted, beaten, bound?

�Tis our God, Who gifts and graces

On His church is pouring down;

Who shall smite in holy vengeance

All His foes beneath His throne.

4. Who is this that hangs there dying

While the rude world scoffs and scorns,

Numbered with the malefactors,

Torn with nails, and crowned with thorns?

�Tis our God Who lives forever

�Mid the shining ones on high,

In the glorious golden city,

Reigning everlastingly.

what a beautiful song. i was reminded that our lives are full of suffering and unhappiness and harsh dry spells. but just like Christ, one day, we too, will rise in glory with our sovereign King who will reign eternally. i can only have this peace because the Lord has revealed His gospel to me.

we were talking about peace in Perspectives today. today was actually our last official day of class. i was really glad that i came out today because our speaker was really encouraging. this random Muslim woman came into speak on behalf her husband who was sick. it was so crazy because she dressed up (almost exactly like the picture) completely covered from head to toe except for her hands and eyes. she had a thick middle-eastern accent and constantly rotated these beads she was holding that were supposed to represent the 99 names of Allah. she apologized about the whole 9/11 incident, briefly explained Jihad, and talked about Christians in America like a real foreigner. she continually apologized for her husband's absence, so much to the point that you pitied her for acting excessively humble. after doing this for a good 15 minutes, she unveiled herself only to reveal a regular white woman in her 30's with a perfect American accent. the class went nuts. i thought it was a great learning experience because it revealed how you would've really reacted to a Muslim that was open to learning about Christianity. i was so ashamed of my hesitancy.

anyways, the speaker pointed out that a great witness for Muslims is the inexplicable peace that they notice in Christians. this is because Muslims live in fear and uncertainty of making into Paradise while Christians have assurance of their salvation. i must confess that sometimes when i meet devout Muslims, i stumble over my own faith because i am so fascinated with their pious lifestyle-they are crazy devoted to Allah. fortunately, i was really encouraged today by the many stories of Muslims who came to know Christ. i mean, you'll hear about the most knowledgeable Muslims who have memorized the whole Koran at a young age but end up following Christ after speaking with "unintelligible" christians. what a wonderful testimony of God's grace, power, and TRUTH!

as encouraging as the class was, i must admit that i am exuberant that Perspectives is finally over! i would encourage every follower of Christ to take it. it really is life-changing.

Thought of the Day: Intercessor.
Song of the Day: Who Is This, So Weak and Helpless?

it looks like i won't be studying in Korea after all. don't worry, i'm still planning on going to the motherland. i'm just going to have to resort to working (probably teaching English) and learn my Korean and culture through my experiences. my cousin and i started emailing each other cause he's helping me look for work and opportunities. it's pretty weird actually. he's approximately 10 years older than me. i've never really TALKED to him before and here i am, giving him my background, personal statement, and resume. it's exciting and scary at the same time. the light at the end of the tunnel is slowly growing.

i feel overwhelmed these days. it feels really similar to around the same time last year when i had to look for housing for my family, study for finals, and figure out how to juggle 5 students with the upcoming Christian Academy. these days, i'm writing my mission support letters, reading hundreds of pages every week, tutoring 4 days a week, figuring out Korea, and repressing pessimistic thoughts of preparing for the CSET and GRE. i really look forward to finishing Perspectives too. as Edu always reminds me: "you have no time for life." well, at least the Wu-Tang Clan helps me to escape for a few minutes everyday. man, thank goodness for the Wu-Tang Clan!

i'm sure you're busy too. maybe my life is paradise compared to yours. maybe not. but would you be reminded of Christ just as i was reminded from Jongmin's encouraging email. "He is not here for He is risen." our lives are full of much. i hope your full life would be full of God and not full of self.

Thought of the Day: No rice.
Song of the Day: Doug E. Fresh & Slick Rick-Lodi Dodi