i can be ridiculously annoying sometines...well, maybe a lil more often than sometimes. a lot of times, i catch myself being really obnoxious and/or selfish. it's usually in the form of words. i have the worst habit of complaining and speaking my mind to whomever i think deserves to hear it. even when i'm joking or trying to be funny, it's almost always something discouraging or arrogant. it's no wonder why so many people cannot tell if i'm being sarcastic or not. i am a negative ambiguity.

it's funny cause there was actually a point where i believed i was socially flawless. i wished people could be a better example of me on so many different levels. thank goodness that was a long time ago...or was it? i guess seeing many of my flaws now doesn't necessarily mean that i have stopped believing a fallacy. i still have a ridiculous standard and when you don't match up, you better watch out cause i'm judging you with a passion. i love to impose. i need things my way. that's probably why most people think i'm an only child. just give me 5 min. and i'll show you a brat who thinks he's so mature. i am so immature. i am so stupid. i am so embarrassed.

the more you get to know me, the more you'll realize how inconsistent i can be. i'm really not that nice. i am shamefully ignorant. my humor sucks. i am intimidating and give bad first impressions. i can't tolerate that much. and no matter how much i work out, i am just a flabby long guy. phil sucks!

in today's staff meeting, john ro told us the sermon he heard from the 8:00 morning service. basically, the pastor was saying how he has a friend who has two kids who do really well in school. they always bring home A's and faithfully please their father. the pastor, on the other hand, has two kids who do not do so well in school. in other words, the pastor's children are not as desirable as his friend's children. but if you were to ask the pastor if he would ever trade his kids for his friend's, he would never! the reason is because he does not love his children based on their actions or accomplishments. rather, he loves them because of their status: they are his! in a similar way, God loves us not based on what we do. rather, He loves us because He sees us as His children. He would never trade us away.

i am utterly flawed in every way, but the Lord does not look upon me with anger or disgust or regret. i am His because Christ traded his righteousness for my flaws. he took all of my stupid and ugly and evil. judge me all you want. God looks upon me with favor. that is all that matters. Hallelujah!

Thought of the Day: "Ggam-jja-gee-yah!"
Song of the Day: Bijou-Thank You