asian american psychology is my favorite class this quarter. our professor is this young indian american lady with a regular profession as an actual psychologist. so basically, she teaches our class as a side thing and i'm learning alot from her lectures. anyways, the only negative about this class is that it's one midterm and one final-both worth 50% of your grade (i really hate these). so i took my midterm on tuesday and did really bad on it...like really bad. it's not like i didn't study for it or anything. i just happened to study what WASN'T on the midterm. quite upsetting as you can imagine. anxiety.

i was walking to class today and as i was walking, the girl walking towards me called my name. jenny from the dorms! i found out that she was in the same class and she had actually dropped the course after bombing the midterm. so that just reminded me of how poorly i did on my test and made me feel even worse. anxiety.

before lecture even started, there was a good number of empty seats and a few students even going up to get their drop cards signed by the professor. so class starts and the professor is really quiet for a few minutes. absolute silence. then she goes...

professor: i first want to talk to you all about the midterm. many of you have come up to me and asked me about it with your anxiety attacks. i just want to remind you that there IS a curve. are there any questions?

and then students started asking different things about format this and format that and grading this and grading that. you could totally feel the discouragement in the room. i'm usually the type to finish tests early but this sucker had kept me the whole class time. i didn't even complete of one of the essay questions! apparently, i was not alone in my poor performance. it made me feel alot better cause i felt like everyone had done really well...kinda like my education midterm. =D less anxiety.

so what is my point? well, before i take any test i always ask God to remind me that test scores do not matter. what matters is the fact that i studied and that i learned. i try to remind myself that grades or gpa should not be my motivation for studying. i just have to try my best because that is what God desires of me.

on monday night, i studied pretty hard. i know i could've studied EVERYTHING but i made a decision to focus on specific things. on tuesday night, i bombed my midterm. even though i did terribly, i should have been content with my efforts. students of God, may we not only study with all of our efforts but also find joy and be content with them...even when we fail our Asian American Psychology midterm worth 50% of our grade.

bah, i'm going to be in heaven someday anyways!

Thought of the Day: Experiment for one week.
Song of the Day: Fat Boy Slim-Funk Soul Brother