i don't like the black part in bananas. it's moist, soft, and uncomfortably sweet. i hate how 80% of the banana will be yellow and white, but the remaining 20% will be black. you've enjoyed a very good portion of it up until the last bite. the last bite is the most important part b/c it completes the activity. everything needs good closure. if the plot was incredible throughout the whole movie but the ending got cut off, you're pretty much going to feel dissatisfied with the whole thing. when you're eating your in n' out burger and you're down to your last bite, dropping that last bite onto the floor will only convince you that you're not comfortably full yet. you need closure with everything. i ate my last banana today. it had very bad closure.

Thought of the Day: "He descended into hell."
Song of the Day: Fastball-The Way

a few days ago on the phone...

mom: your father and i will be married for 24 years on tuesday.
me: 24 years?!
mom: well, minus 10.
me: hehe yeah.

i know my mom still has it tough not living with my dad for so long. man, i can't believe it's been 10 years since my dad went to korea while my mom stayed back here with me and simon. i remember the first few years without my dad. it was really hard not having a dad at first. but every year, i got more and more used to it. of course by now, my whole family can get by just fine w/o the dad in the house. i still disagree with my dad's decision to live and work in korea without his family. but i'm not writing this so that you'll pity me or my mom or even my brother. rather, i praise God that He has been so faithful to all of us even through the separation of our father. even though my mother did not have a husband by her side for the past decade, God has continually provided and blessed her in so many ways. if my dad had never gone to korea, i may have never moved to burlingame. if i had never moved to burlingame, i may have never gone to kcpc. i may not have never gone to mills. i may never have ended up at irvine. i may have never gone to cpc...the list goes on. God is sovereign. i praise Him for that.

Thought of the Day: Alice doesn't like anybody.
Song of the Day: Britney Spears-Toxic

whether one had a legit excuse or not, i pity those who did not attend the One Voice Conference. even though i liked last year's event very much, i enjoyed and appreciated this one so much more. the speakers were SO money! it amazes me to see how knowledgeable those pastors and teachers are. i remember waiting for the conference to start today in the afternoon. as i was waiting, i saw the speakers (pastors so-and-so and westminster deans and crap) just lounging to kill some time. man, i really wanted to introduce myself and talk to them, but to have such a preconceived knowledge that these guys were hardcore theologians ("big tymers" i call them) really intimidated me. man, just staring at them with my curious eyes like a shy little boy! haha. when i think about the amount of theology i know, i think of it as a great revelation in the form of grace. but to see how much THOSE fools know (no pun intended), THEY must be overwhelmed with so much more grace. i really do believe that the more you know and understand God's character, the more you will love Him.
favorite quote of the conference: "Praise God. Let's pray."-Pastor Steve Park

Thought of the Day: Soli Scriptura.
Song of the Day: M-flo & Crystal Kay-I Like It

i finally finished All About Eve on tues. and Hajime No Ippo today. i really liked both of them. i think hajime is one of the most inspirational and encouraging animes out there. whenever i go workout at the arc, i'm always thinking about ippo and how disciplined he was. he worked so hard with his puny body and character...and what do you know, he becomes Japan's Featherweight Champion. freak, his body is like so ripped too! it like gives me hope and crap. lol. whenever i run, i only hear that one song with the electic guitar in my head. there's no better song for working out.

i realized that i really dislike people who give me stupid excuses for the things they do or do not do. i would much rather hear a straight and real answer for their behavior. why is it that so many people try so hard to conceal their lazy, ignorant, or apathetic character? not that i'm not guilty of doing this myself. it just makes me angry when people bs right at my face. it insults me so bad. my hope is that God will show them this sham and freakin' BREAK them! =D just kidding. i'm such a sinner.

don't you hate it when you're encouraging or praying for someone and there's no sign of improvement or effort on their side? you feel like your efforts are wasted and you label them as a lost cause. so many times, i've stopped encouraging/praying for people b/c i was discouraged by the lack of any progress. whether it be asking people to read the Bible, to STUDY for once, or even trying to plug people into church, it's so hard to have a heart for those people when they just don't appreciate your efforts. so then, what are we supposed to do? do we continue to work out our lost causes or do we let go and let God? i think Paul set a very good example for what kind of attitudes we ought to have.

Phillippians 1:3-10-I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowdlege and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ.

man, Paul really loved the church of Phillipi. i think we ought to have attitudes similar to Paul's, constantly praying for those he loved and trusting that "God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. "

i found out today that my students that i tutor will only need me to come in twice a week. that means only $60 a week. especially since i'm saving up for missions, i'm reallly going to have to be wise with how i spend my money. i can't just buy stupid things on ebay or go out to eat with clusters anymore. despite my discouragmenet, i know that God is faithful. if He provides me with meals to eat everyday and a bed to sleep on every night, then surely He will continue to provide for my future needs.

Thought of the Day: I'm totally feeling Jpop music these days.
Song of the Day: Hamasaki Ayumi-Seasons Piano Mix

i think it's really funny how chang responded to my blog on gambling. i specifically remember as i was writing that night, i knew EXACTLY how chang was going to respond. i think i was just very careless with my words and pretty tired at the time. but the fact is, there is no excuse for presenting my ideas in such an unacceptable manner for it could cause harm to a large number of people. i'm glad that there are people like chang (pharisees) who can always correct me and REALLY make me think.

i finally confronted my roommate today. finally.

Thought of the Day: A very interesting day.
Song of the Day: M-flo-Loves Melody

another insomniac night...

after i woke up to a phone call, i knew i wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. i just kinda sat on my bed in the dark and began to reflect alot. i thought about the different things i could blog about but for some reason, i didn't feel like writing any of it. i just wanted to sit there and think. however, i really do feel that writing out your ideas really helps you to think more concretely and to express your thoughts better. you have a better idea of what you're really thinking inside too.

yesterday, i shot pool with jay at zotzone. i hadn't shot pool for a while so i thought it'd be fun playing with my discipler. man, what was supposed to be about 1 hour turned out to be 3. i lost count of how many times i had said, "alrite, let's play one more." it was really fun though. i think there are very few people who enjoy pool as much as i do. i feel like it's one of those games that are just so rewarding since it involves so much precision and skill...and when you have that precsion and skill, you definitely feel rewarded. =D just like the good ol' days. anyways, as we were playing i asked jay if he liked to gamble. he shared with me his thoughts on gambling and it really struck me when he said, "all i'm saying is, if you're playing 20 dollar blackjack hands, you'd better be willing to give that much for offering on Sundays." that gave me a new perspective on my personal position with gambling. jay may sound legalistic with his statement but i think his point was more focused on where your heart is and how we ought to be careful with how we choose to use our money. i guess we tend to brush gambling off more as a liberty than a danger. unfortunately, i think i had to learn the hard way this past year. i must agree with jay when he says, "everything is permissable but not beneficial. i think it does more harm than good."
note: when i say "gambling," i mean gambling in casinos.

today, we worked on the sisters apprecation nite at church. lately, i've just been thinking about the college group for next year. who're going to be our new officers? who the heck is going to take charge and lead our ministry? when i look at the college group right now, my heart fills with sorrow as i see a lack of leadership in our people. when i think about our seniors leaving after this year, i feel like the college group is going to go down the drain. that's right guys, it's time to leave cpc and find a new church! =D just kidding. i mean, i know that God uses the weak to do great things in this world. but gosh, i'm just so curious!

watching All About Eve...

ben: you know that kim so young girl? i freakin' want to kill her!

danny: gosh, i wish she'd grow some balls so i can kick them!

ben: you know that part when chae rim is trying to speak english? it makes me want to cuss!

i think it's more entertaining just talking about the drama than watching it. haha.

places i still need eat at:

1. Spaghetti Factory
2. Brazilian BBQ
3. Priscilla's restaurant

Thought of the Day: "Ehneh!"
Song of the Day: Jaci Velasquez-If This World

i just finished watching two episodes of Hajime No Ippo. hajime is a boxing anime that i've been watching since winter break now. i really enjoy it cause it gives losers like me a sense of hope and determination to...become buff? haha. it has some awesome characters (takamura) with some intense humor ("the ippo firework"). but as i've been watching this, i realize that ippo is never satisfied with where he's at. he's determined to become stronger and stronger even after he wins his tournaments. he wants to fight better people and really "learn what it means to be strong." even though i'm only on episode 44 out of 72, it hit me that ippo is never going to be satisfied. after he beats one guy, there'll always be someone stronger. after he beats that guy, there'll be another guy waiting for him again. it's ridiculous. i've concluded that ippo needs Christ. he can fight and win all he wants but he will never be content. his life has become boxing and it will continue to be with no complete satisfaction.

i'm also watching All About Eve with danny. this is a korean drama that april let me borrow so danny and i watch a couple every week. pretty dramatic and actually fun to watch. but even more so with this one, you can definitely see the need for Christ in every character's life. i think that's the constant thought i'm thinking of when i'm watching these dramas or anime. w/o Christ, your situations will only become worse. and if they get better, your happiness will be temporary. you have to constantly find some kind of meaning in your life. (Ecclesiastes 1:2-"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless."). i couldn't have said it better myself.

even with this knowledge that i have, i realize that i continue to fall into the same problem. my sinful nature desires to have that temporary pleasure that will result in emptiness. i cry out to God to forgive me everyday as i fall into the same sinfulness over and over again. the same cycle that the Israelites went through for hundreds and thousands of years. we learn. we sin. we learn. we sin. But...Romans 6:14-For sin shall not be your master, beacuse you are not under law, but under grace.
it always goes back to grace doesn't it?

movies that i still need to see:

1. Pretty Woman
2. Amadeus
3. Cocktail
4. Days of Thunder
5. Gone With the Wind
6. Citizen Kane
7. Tampopo
8. Donnie Brasco
9. Annie

oh yeah, i got a flat tire last night. i went to commons to go study and when i came back, my front left was flat. apparently, i had gone over a nail sometime that night. well, i think i know how to change my own tire now. another learning experience with the car.

Thought of the Day: Audience laughter is interesting.
Song of the Day: Chopin-Ballad In G Minor

me: hey, pay attention!
jordan: kay!
me: gay?! did you just say, "gay?"
jordan: no, i said o-KAAAAY!
me: oh.
jordan: wait, what's gay?
me: um....
jordan: oh, isn't michael jackson gay?
me: ahahhahahahahah.

Thought of the Day: Flat Tire.
Song of the Day: Chopin-Ballad In G Minor

on sat., i gave crawford one of my webwork math problems to do cause i was stuck. that girl tried and tried and just could not get it. she collasped at a (81/2)pie or (40.5)pie and gave up the struggle. "INCORRECT," it said. well i was stumbling over the problem today and came upon the same answer. i typed in 40.5(3.14). "CORRECT." silly me just realized that "pie" and "3.14" will give you totally different answers. danny told me that crawford was "seriously screaming" when she found out. scream louder, dear. i can't hear you over my laughter. =D

Thought of the Day: OLIGODENDROCITES MAKE MYELIN SHEATH IN THE CNS!!!
Song of the Day: FF X-To Zanarkand