in my math class, there's this girl that always sits in front of me. she's pretty cute with her nice hair and always dresses in an appealing manner. well, the first day i had lecture, she sat next to me and i thought it was aaron's friend, bora...but i thought she had just gotten alot prettier over break or something. i didn't want to chance it so i waited til class was over. as she was getting up to leave, i lightly called out her name. no response. i called out her name a little louder. no response. so i concluded that it wasn't bora at all. i was so happy i hadn't asked her if she was bora. *wipes sweat off brow*

anyways, day 2 comes along and this time she sits in front of me. day 3 comes along, same thing but THIS TIME, some dude sits next to her. during the lecture, he asks her a question about a problem and he introduces himself to her. they shake hands and i overhear that her name is jennifer. so i'm thinking, "well, they're probably never going to talk to each other again after today." *ahem* WRONG! that stupid loser with his stupid hat and his stupid sweater ends up sitting next to her every lecture and they're always conversing with each other! man, it just tears me up inside when i see her smile or laugh at his stupid comments. i mean dude, THAT COULD'VE BEEN ME! i could've been that stupid idiot with my stupid questions and my stupid jokes. she even offers him chips and stuff. *sulk*

i finally had the guts to ask jay to keep me accountable this quarter. i'm usually not the type to ask for accountability just cause i'm so used to doing it for others. i had this whole misconception that some people were just meant to keep others accountable (stupid ben). i realized that EVERYONE needs that somebody who can keep them in check and continually pray for and encourage them. i think the best example is a pastor. do you ever wonder who keeps your pastor in check? i think it's really sad how pastors are always neglected in terms of acccountability from the ministry that they're serving in. if anything, i think they need the MOST encouragement, just cause being a pastor can be a very difficult service. but yeah, i've gone off topic again...

i'm meeting with jay every week and we started to meet last week. i'm really glad that i have someone who can really relate to me in terms of personality, maturity, and knowledge. if there's ANYONE i could choose to share with, it would have to be with jay. even though i was really hesitant with asking him b/c of his busy academics and burdensome gf (yeah, Jess, that's you!), i think i finally came to a point where i was desperate. already just from our first meeting, i can tell that the times we meet will be blessed times. i'm not talking about that piece-of-crap accountability where you ask each other online how they're doing every week. i'm talking about being really intimate and transparent with your christian brother/sister, sharing your struggles and joys, growing in theology, and of course, praying for one another. if you don't have someone REALLY keeping you accountable, i exhort you to find someone quick. i really do believe that EVERYONE has time to keep someone accountable. there is no excuse.

when i go home from school, sometimes i'll take a right on Harvard so i can just go down Culver. dude, that freakin' signal is ALWAYS green when i'm approaching it. but as soon as i start speeding up when i'm about 15 feet away from the crosswalk, the thing turns yellow! it's as if the signal KNOWS that i'm coming and it's purposely turning red just so that i'll slam on my brakes at the last second. i hate that crap! when i look on Culver's side, i see a whole bunch of cars just waiting too. it's ridiculous. there's also this other street, Marquette. OH my! this crap does the same thing except it does it even when there's NO cars on the opposite street. so i wait at the red. i look at the signal. 1 min. passes. i look at the opposite signal. ok good, it's turning yellow...it's my turn to go soon. opposite signal turns red and my street signal turns green only the LEFT TURN?!!! and i'm telling you, there's NO cars on the Left Turn lane! this crap takes another min. too. (shaking head). i swear these signals have their own retarded personalities.

Thought of the Day: I hate my hair.
Song of the Day: Utada Hikaru-Distance M-flo Mix