September 28, 2003

i slept too much on saturday. 11 hours at night and 2 hours during the day. our bodies were not meant to be dormant for more than half a day. i am punished with insomnia on this early sunday morning.

as i was tossing and turning in my bed, i started thinking about the new freshmen of this year. i've been trying to give alotta advice to the new students and encourage them to do things differently from my past. but i've come to realize that i sound just like any other old guy who told me the same things right before i became a freshmen. you listen to what they have to say, you nod your head, and try to understand just what the heck they were talking about. the truth is, you're not going to understand what i was talking about until you've actually experienced it...and boy are they going to experience alot

-the lonely first two weeks
-dorm food, meal after meal
-visiting home and feeling really different (this does not apply to deprived Cerritos residents)
-getting lost on campus
-cramming like you've never crammed before
-meeting hundreds of people and being asked where you're from and what your major is
-LOVING dormlife
-HATING dormlife
-using your feet as your main source of transportation
-late night foodruns
-homesickness

i remember dave and i were talking about different transitions that we make in life. we both agreed that the transition from high school senior year to college freshmen year is a HUGE step. when you take a high school senior and a college freshmen, you have two people on different planets. you just experience so much in that first year. man, you're either going to fall hard or grow hard.

so enough about them and more about ME! i am now a sophomore in college. i feel like i've become so much more independent in these past few months. as i was eating dinner by myself today, i thought about how i'm doing a pretty good job of taking care of myself. i really feel like i can live in this so called world and really manage ok. i've had plenty of work experience. i can go to the market and cook my own meals. i even know how to pay my own bills. if i am lacking something, i know how to meet the need. if there is a problem, i will be able to find a solution. look at me mom, i'm all growed up!

Philippians 2:12-13- Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

i was sitting for a while and just thinking about my spiritual life these days. all i could think of was SINNER. this idea of having an attitude of "fear and trembling," is really incredible. this God that we serve and love and pray to...how often do we come before Him in fear and trembling? our omnipotent and sovereign God that we are to revere, do we really fear Him? i was reviewing tomorrow's Bible study and read through the first two chapters of Judges.

Judges 2:4- When the angel of the Lord had spoken these things to all the Israelites, the people wept aloud

seriously, the only times that i will fear God is when He disciplines me and i am humbled. it's like my sinful nature will not allow me to have this fear and love for God unless i am broken. WHY?! i mean, we're called to live these holy lives with holy attitudes and i can't do it. i'm just so dry and i try and try but i just cannot. so i continue to sit and stare and continue thinking to myself, SINNER. i read and pray and i feel like i can only ask God to break me so that i would live a more obedient life that is pleasing to Him.

but i suppose i keep forgetting the second part of the verse in Philippians: "for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." it is God who works in me and not myself. it is only by HIM that i can have an attitude of fear and trembling. our God is a God of grace. i cannot forget that. it is only by his grace that we can do all things.

Philippians 1:6- that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until th day of Christ Jesus.

praise God.

Thought of the Day: Grace.
Song of the Day: David Crowder-Deliver Me

September 27, 2003

me: so dillon, can i see your diary?
dillon: no.
me: why not?
dillon: because i didn't write in it.
me: why not?
dillon: because i write in it when i want to write in it.
me: can you start writing in it everyday?
dillon: no.
me: why not?
dillon: because i write in it when i want to write in it.

me: do you like it when i teach you?
dillon: no.
me: so dillon, how can i improve?
dillon: i don't know.
me: is it boring?
dillon: only when you talk.

me: ok we have 5 min. left. wanna see a magic trick?
dillon: no.
me: oh. is it no fun?
dillon: yeah.
me: ok, do you want to show me a magic trick?
dillon: no.
me: ok. go get your brother. it's his turn.

a sharp contrast...

me: ok so what was this paragraph talking about?
jordan: it's talking about the MAMMOTH and the TUSK! after they break the tusk, they use it as a weapon and go RAAAAAAAHHHHH!
me: ahahhahahahah.

jordan: "sousands" of years...
me: no jordan. it's TH-ousands. say it with a TH. not a S.
jordan: SOUNSANDS!
me: no!
jordan: SOOOOOUSANDS!!!
me: ahahhahahaha.

(leaving).
mother: so how was the teacher today?
jordan: FABULOUS!
mother: aigo!
me: ahahahahhahaha.

i need to beat the bad attitude out of the younger one. the older one's good. =D

Thought of the Day: DERELICTE!
Song of the Day: As One-Day By Day Pop Mix

September 25, 2003

sunday: crawford's birthday.

so we discussed this whole surprise party thing like a week in advance. screw the going out to lunch, going out to dinner, or hanging out in la thing. we're gonna scare that bastard on her birthday! =D man, all those phone calls and preparation really paid off after seeing her lunge her body into the wall. i still rip my hair out for not taking a picture...i mean, it's not like i have a PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY like dykas! but it was fun.

monday: campus.

i bought my parking permit and books...close to $600. man, i almost forgot what 0 week was like...clubs, flyers, and hot girls. but i saw some ccm people and they didn't even recognize me. no one seems to be able to recognize me these days for some reason. i walk up to them smiling and they give me this stranger stare until i finally shake their hand. perhaps it's just been a long summer...or my long hair.

i saw andrew kim, joyce so, and james lee. seems like they haven't changed a bit. disappointed. but i got to see eddie's dorm and he even swiped me and drew into commons. it's crazy how i took the salad for granted! it's SO good. man, i realized that these new freshmen are still like high school kids. when i observed eddie and allan playing Capcom Vs. SNK 2, i couldn't believe how high school they sounded. eh, it'll pass.

but the night ended with lots of ball. played like crap in an out of shape body. i hate that. i think i got sick from freezing in my sweat. gross right?

tuesday: he quits Elite!

surprisingly, monica was a little sad that i was leaving...like she really wanted me to stay! either that or she was acting it real well. either way, i'm outta there!

so my left cheek started swelling up as if i had just pulled out my wisdom teeth again. i decided to go see dr. kim all the way in garden grove. ugh, i abhor traffic! but i get it all checked out and he tells me that i probably had another infection due to a wound that wasn't fully closed. result: swollen cheek. *sigh* even the thought of typing about this pisses me off. BECAUSE i only have student health insurance, my medication costed $80. too much pain and so little patience = i buy the drugs and drive home angry. but the reason why i'm angry right now is b/c i just found out today that there was a pharmacy at school and i could've just bought my medication there for a whole lot cheaper. you know when you're real mad and you can't stop thinking about it? yeah, lots of sin in your heart. *punch wall*

and yeah, dennis got confirmed. looooong service but i could tell he was happy. congrats to "the rev."

underworld sucks. vampires are weak. accents are inconsistent. victor was an old fart. i think i was discontent b/c the movie had so much potential and they just threw it all away. i'm just glad i didn't pay for that crap.

wednesday: haircut after 2.5 months.

i liked not cutting my hair. no worries about getting haircuts ever. but there was an appearance factor that finally caused me to reconsider. so now i have this high fade that i've never had before. i don't hate it but i don't like it either. content. thanks roomies.

ugh, called in for work b/c andrea is sick? what part of I QUIT do they not understand? and then dykas reminded me that they were korean. hehe. seriously, us korean people are so weird and different from the rest of the world. retarded we are! but i work and go to my first tutoring session. i felt SO bad for being late and the parents made me feel worse too. "we waited a long time." ugh, i can already imagine the critical words behind my back. *sniff*

tutoring a 3rd and 4th grader is VERY different from tutoring a 7th or 8th grader. they pay less attention, don't do what you tell them to do, and they're stupid. haha just kidding. but it takes alot more patience and understanding with these younger kids. jordan and dillon. original names for koreans if you ask me. but my first day wasn't so great with the kids. dillon killed all of my magic tricks and i had a hard time managing the time. it'll take me a while to get used to them. oh yeah, these kids are fobs. another area of inexperience. teaching english....far from being a forte.

man, why is my last week of summer so freakin' busy?

Thought of the Day: Parkwest tows before 12.
Song of the Day: David Crowder-O Praise Him

September 20, 2003

statement: it's been a long time...it really has.

reason: kevin's been over.

details: kevin is one of my good friends from up north. i've known him since 9th grade after meeting him for the first time at church and seeing him at school for the next 4 years. a fob he is. i feel like we've been through lots of ups and downs together. good friend.

he's been staying at my apt. for the past week now, eating, sleeping, and of course, chilling. during these past number of days, i've gotten to know him a little better. long story short, i realized that we are very similar to one another. a few examples:

1. kevin has a 15 year old brother. i have a 14 year old brother.
2. his father works/lives in korea. my father works/lives in korea.
3. he has a "bad" history. i can relate.
4. he lusts after girls who can eat well. i agree that girls who do not appreciate food do not deserve to live.
5. kevin's drama with girls? i know wassup.

if you know me well, you'll know that fobs and i do not go hand in hand. i can tolerate them to a certain degree...kevin being inches from the borderline. but man, it's the greatest feeling when you take a fob to the movies and he actually comes out enjoying it! kevin is no princess but he's definitely no simple pleaser either. however, Matchstick Men gave him much entertainment and i got much entertainment from seeing his pleasure. it's so funny how fobs try to describe and reenact different scenes from a movie. lol. just nod and smile.

alrite, i am SO ready to quit my job. i've finally come to realize that God did not intend for me to work as a secretary. i drive my boss nuts EVERY SINGLE TIME i go to work. my korean sucks on the phone and this crap is just getting monotonous. God willing, i'll be starting my tutoring act before october. man, i am so money driven.

well, i also accomplished MANY things this week:

1. finished watching every single episode of Friends. i'm ready for 10th season (beginning next week).
2. derek's mom got us chairs for our dining table! shuttup, i know i didn't accomplish that.
3. took care of cable/interent bill (my first bill).
4. signed up for credit card.
5. laundry.
6. contact papered the kitchen drawers.
7. permanently hung up our clock.
8. FINALLY got my financial aid check. hey, being patient can be considered an accomplishment too.
9. FINALLY went to 3rd St. peeing on someone's garbage can, walking on the "Baywatch" beach, and talking about how expensive gfs are, and blasting lee jung hyun. good memories.
10. finally wrote a blog.

Thought of the Day: I HATE my job.
Song of the Day: That Beethoven song.


September 14, 2003

none
You are Sakura. You're Intelligent, Confindent, but
sometimes a smartass. You hide your true self
to tough it out.When you Love , You Love hard.


What Naruto Character are you
brought to you by Quizilla
alot has happened in the past week...

1. drove up north with crawford. that's right...SEVEN hours with the behemoth.
2. took her to Nation's, 19th ave., Irving (for the best boba in the world), J-town, and threw her away at berserkley.
3. caught up with pat.
4. drove down solo...a much quieter drive. =D
5. MOVED IN!!!

thursday and friday were stinkin' busy days. lots and LOTS of shopping. it really hits you how much you've taken all the small things for granted...eating and cooking utensils, toilet paper, fridge, trash cans, and lights! but praise the Lord for i absolutley love my apt. supposedly, the Parkwest apts have the biggest floor plans for the rooms so i'm content with that. we have so much storage space and our living room is spacious as well. you wanna have crowds of people over? BRING IT ON!

i also realized that there are a grip of ccm people living all around parkwest. man, i see these people like everyday. i guess it's cool though. better than being completely alone like esther's San Leon. the poor thing.

to be honest, i didn't think much of my 3rd roommate, derek, before we moved in. i thought there'd be alotta conflict living with him after planning things through aim. but after these past few days, i realized that he's not such a bad guy. buuuuut, i did learn that he's possibly one of the worst drivers in the world. haha. the guy drives just like my mom! (derek, if you're reading this...don't barge into my room and start complaining. just let me know that you read my blog and i'll never ever write about you again. thanks roomie).

random:

(last night).
me: they all went to go eat pho.
joe: PHO-get them!
me: ahahahhahahah.

it's good seeing joey again.

when i was up north, i finally got to see some of my parents' childhood pictures for the first time! it's been confirmed...i look just like my mom. that would explain the rare smiles and the whole chubby phase i went through. man, i really can't say that my mom was all that pretty either growing up. to be honest, i think she looks the best right now in her late forties. haha. sad no? yeah, even jisun's friends saw a picture of my parents and they were all saying that i resemble my mom! i swear that's a first. but what do you care right?

Thought of the Day: "God bless Korea!"
Song of the Day: Rich Mullins-Step By Step

September 8, 2003

whup! almost forgot to include korean movies:

1. My Sassy Girl
2. Attack The Gas Station
3. Chingoo

i've watched them so many times i don't even need the subtitles anymore (we're talking 20+ times).
last night, chris took me out to dinner to eat with his parents in Garden Grove. DDUK BO SAAAAAAAAAAAM!!! man, chris' family is great, NOT just b/c they paid for a bujee dinner but they're just a really pleasant and warm family. it makes so much sense why chris is the way he is today. well last night, a few of his little cousins were there too. man, his cousin, diana, was stinkin' adorable. gosh, another reminder of how much i want a younger sister...

chris: diana, how old are you?
diana: 6! (big smile).
me: lol.
chris: when did you turn 6?
diana: on my birthday!
me: lol.
chris: oh when is your birthday? is it on december 25th?
diana: no! that's Jesus' birhtday! (big smile).

fiiiiiiig.

sometimes i wonder how i would've turned out if i had a younger sister. i wonder how simon would've turned out. i wonder what it'd be like if we had another younger brother. i wonder. perhaps this is why i want both a son and a daughter when i'm older. the son being the older one and the daughter at least 3 years apart. i guess it's true that the greater the age difference, the more likely that they're going to get along. yeah, 3 years should be fine...but if that doesn't work, CHILDREN FOR SALE! =D

borrowing crawford's friend's idea:

MY MUST SEE MOVIES:
* = if you refuse to watch this movie, i will hurt you.

1. Back To The Future Trilogy
2. Rocky IV
3. American History X
4. Austin Powers Trilogy
5. Braveheart
6. Dumb & Dumber*
7. Forrest Gump*
8. Good Will Hunting
9. Jerry Maguire
10. Moulin Rouge
11. Office Space*
12. Pulp Fiction*
13. Rounders
14. Shrek
15. Swingers*
16. The Matrix
17. The Original Kings of Comedy
18. The Rock
19. The Shawshank Redemption
20. The Usual Suspects

brilliant movies!

funny phrases of the weekend:

eugene: redeem = to deem again.

phoebe: "what the mother of crap?"

zeus: "hollify."

lol.

Thought of the Day: Dehydrated.
Song of the Day: CB Mass-Movement

September 6, 2003

what a tough day at work today...emotionally that is. i only got 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night b/c of last night's health hazardous meal at molca salsa (drool). oh the pleasure of food coma slumbler. haha. but today was sign-up day for all the kids for the fall season. crowds of parents trying to give you their checks and student after student asking what room they belong in. soooooo many DT's to give out and way too many phone calls for us to handle. it's the worst when my boss is stressed or tired cause she kinda takes her emotions out on you. her expectations go like WAY UP HERE and her tolerance level is just as bad. so unfortunately, we had this one lady who was complaining that her son wasn't supposed to take the SAT DT cause he was only in 9th grade, but the little crap told me he was a sophomore and even responded with, "yes. PSAT." after she calls, the dad calls. same complaint. i get yelled at. the lady actually comes back with another lady and they start complaining about how our academy is so retarded. freakin' korean people dude.

and finally, i had to pay for lunch today. that's $30 for three people. man, i should've just been patient and eaten at home. how discouraging. i calculated how money i would make for coming down early to work a few days. profit = $10. dude, after today that's just disheartening.

let's write a little more happy...

so i've continued reading The Purpose Driven Life and i'm actually starting to enjoy it a little more. i can't say i totally agree with everything, but i'm picking out some good things from the book. i guess that's just what you have to do with any book that you read. no matter what it is, you just gotta be wise and take good things out of it. along with this book, i'm almost done reading the Bible! if i really push myself, i can even finish it before school starts! it's kinda sad that i'm finally going to finish reading the Bible for the first time in my second year of college. 19 1/2 years to read a book. (shaking head). BUT better now than never right?

and this just in....

aaron can hook us up with a rice cooker and a tv.
basic cable is only $6 more every month along with our internet.
great!
i'm all encouraged and comforted now.
i'm a simple man with simple pleasures.
=D

the sibling knows me well...

AsianXboi56 (4:58:00 PM): i KNOW why your coming on monday
AsianXboi56 (4:58:02 PM): you wanna go to cpc
AsianXboi56 (4:58:03 PM): haha
Pretzelboi96 (4:58:36 PM): bingo

Thought of the Day: To camp or not to camp.
Song of the Day: Beach Boys-California Girls

September 4, 2003

i'm HOME!

(phone rings).
me: hello?
andrea: hello phil? can you come in this thursday and saturday?
me: oh what time? (YES!).
andrea: open to close.
me: um, i'm out right now...can i call you back? (YES!).
andrea: ok, call me back.
me: alrite bye. (YES!).

and that's how i came down early.

i've already shared the good news with eddie and crawford but I WAS ABLE TO BRING MY BED DOWN FROM HOME! good news for phil and bad news for simon. that child seriously adores my futon cause of my awesome and perfect curves that i've shaped into my cushion for 10 years. lol. it is definitely up there on the top 5 most wanted bed list. i dare you to lie down on my bed. I DARE YOU!

but yeah, God is so gracious to me. i can't really explain what was going on with my life but iiiiiii alone know that everything worked out and that He is sovereign. the power of prayer. amazing.

Thought of the Day: I want to hurry up and move in!
Song of the Day: Nas-I Know I Can

September 1, 2003

Vantilian522 (9:33:27 PM): we went to the montery aquariusm
Pretzelboi96 (9:33:31 PM): cool
Vantilian522 (9:33:51 PM): they charged us like $20 for the enterance fee!~
Pretzelboi96 (9:33:55 PM): lol
Vantilian522 (9:34:08 PM): i was like...they better cook us some of that fish!
Pretzelboi96 (9:34:14 PM): ahahahahaha

changalicious.

Thought of the Day: Andy is growing up so quickly.
Song of the Day: Beethoven-Moonlight Sonata