work:

allan: Philip, you should really get a laptop in college.
me: oh really? but i heard those things get stolen sometimes.
allan: oh sure they do! when i was in college, my roommate would bring friends over and they'd take cigarettes out of my drawer. so one time, i put some firecracker material inside 3 of the cigarettes and stuffed it with tobacco. after the first guy blew up, they never went through my stuff again!
(10 min. later).
allan: and that is why Hewlett Packard merged with Compaq!