the Lakers won today. i was disappointed. so many chances. so many mistakes. i'm depending on the Nets for redemption. the Nets are our only hope.

right now, i'm reading the Pursuit of Holiness, recommended by Chang. it's a really short and simple book that talks about holiness and our sinful nature. the more i read it, the more i realize how sinful i am. it hits you pretty hard if you take it seriously. when you REALLY think about your sins, it's disgusting. you know, we tend to be obedient b/c we want to be "rewarded" by God. however, this is a very selfish and messed up focus. we ought to be obedient out of fear and love for God. we are to be holy b/c He is holy. it's a good book. it causes me to really struggle with my sins. it's hard. really hard.

i'm so sad right now. my dad can't make it to my graduation anymore b/c he couldn't find someone to watch over the store. today, i talked to my dad on the phone and he told me that he was very sorry that he couldn't make it to my graduation. b/c he's so sorry, he said for my graduation present, he was going to buy me any laptop/computer for college. and then he told me that last night, one of the workers quit or something so he only had one employee left. this is really sad b/c he has to work approximately 14 hours by himself at the store. 14 hours!!! so he can't make it to my graduation, he's working a riduculous amount of hours by himself, and he wants to buy me a laptop b/c he's sorry. *sigh* he was telling me how it was really difficult but i shouldn't worry b/c he's "strong." sounds funny yet it's really sad. really sad. i'm pretty sure he's working right now at this very moment. for all of you who get to live with your fathers, please be grateful for them. you guys are really lucky to have someone support you so easily. i haven't lived with my dad since 4th grade. it's been a while and i feel very distant from him. i can't talk to him the way i talk to my mom. it's really awkward. however, i am grateful for such a wonderful father. i don't care how poor we are. he loves us. that's all that matters...

sorry, i just needed to vent.

Thought of the Day: B. Dalton's, Footlocker, Gamekeeper, Mrs. Fields. I'm desperate.
Song of the Day: Here I Am To Worship