I Like to Move It Move It!

It's amazing to realize that I have lived in my current apartment for more than three years. That is the longest I have lived anywhere in my adult life...and now, I am moving once again. My neighboring teacher told me that she used to move every single year but has not moved since 2013! I was so impressed with the longevity of finding a place that has no maintenance, tenant, or street issues. I mean those things are a way of life in my unit. How does one find such a place in the city of Los Angeles?

With the few posts that I write each year now, I saw that one of my "recent" ones focused on applying to jobs and awaiting decisions. This will be my second year of rejections as I am starting to believe that I was destined to live and die teaching in LA. We already have two preschools to visit in a couple of weeks as a lot of changes are coming this summer to prepare for even bigger changes in the fall. Maybe we just need to embrace the city instead of brainstorming annual escape plans.

All I know is that we are locked in for the next two years. Lots of time to win that lottery!

Who am I kidding? I've already hit the jackpot.

Thought of the Day: Cheaters

Song of the Day: The Smashing Pumpkins-Today

No Joke

The running joke on my Cambodia Team was that the age of 35 is the prime of your life. I tried to convince everyone that I had never been healthier and happier that year, which was actually true to some extent. Fast-forward about three years where I have gone into Urgent Care more times the past three months than I have in three decades. From hives to hands, foot, and mouth disease, I have grown more empathy for Job when he was going through his own physical suffering. I'm not used to taking prescription medicine or any medication for that matter; it's like I'm not 35 anymore...like I'm aging or something.

It's an interesting time to be in your mid-years. I see my parents who are essentially savoring their remaining years while my little one is exploring her new world each day. Being the middleman when everyone is together is a tricky situation because you cannot fully commit or engage with one side without sacrificing the other. It has become that much more apparent when I see how happy Naomi is to see her aunts and uncle because they give her so much more attention than I usually do. I want to be able to work, cook, and clean but still sing nursery rhymes with the Cocomelon toys too. I've heard it gets easier, but I've also heard it gets harder...and sometimes another one is on the way!

*not us, not yet anyway!

These thoughts are a bit jumbled because I just got back from my closed school where I learned that someone had jumped from one of the buildings. Similar to funerals, it's a sobering reminder to reflect on your own life and to see it for what it is and what it should be. We are all getting older and eventually moving further and further away from 35. But Paul reminds the Corinthian church that "we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day."

Thought of the Day: School Closed

Song of the Day: Ms. Rachel-I'm So Happy

Pensive, Doubting, Fearful Heart

I recently applied for a job on a whim and went into the whole process very open and at ease. But after going through the interview and not having any updates for over a week, my heart and mind have been in a torturous state. I have lost count the number of times I have replayed the interview in my head and how I could have improved my responses. The only certainty I do have from the past week is how stupid and impatient my heart is. I have all of the reassurances and reminders that my real Boss has made His perfect decision and that I should not worry; and yet...

the title of this post speaks for itself. If you are unfamiliar with the title, it's actually a hymn from a John Newton poem. Here is the last verse that brought me to tears the first time I sang the words:

Though afflicted, tempest-tossed,

Comfortless awhile thou art,

Do not think thou canst be lost,

Thou art graven on my heart.

All thy walls I will repair,

Thou shalt be rebuilt anew,

And in thee it shall appear,

What a God of love can do.

Thought of the Day: HR

Song of the Day; Indelible Grace Music feat. Emily Deloach-Pensive, Doubting, Fearful Heart

Summer Solstice

Yesterday was the Summer Solstice and my first real free day of summer break. My tradition for every break has been to make a list of goals I would like to accomplish before the start of the next school year. One thing different about this year's list is that I have very few goals. Another thing that is different is that I included clearing out my fridge. 

I took care of tossing things that have occupied the freezer for more than a year, but the real challenge is figuring out how and when I am supposed to eat things before they expire. A pet peeve I have learned about myself is buying things that do not get used. I would say that food gone bad takes priority in that category because it is clearly something that could have met other people's immediate needs. Plus, who likes the duty of disposing the rot and gag? I can tell you now that my wife does not.

I think sharing our living space with a baby has taught me to appreciate and pursue minimalism. I have always enjoyed living with the essentials and spending the rest of my energy on God's greatest creation: food. But now that I am outnumbered by females in my life, I have been forced to reconsider my definition of essentials. My continual rationale has been to invest in good quality for the sake of greater quantity...in terms of lifespan and use. If the lifespan is shorter than expected, all I gotta say is OfferUp is a godsend.

So in conclusion, I don't have any interesting summer goals unless you consider fridge liberation a thing. I did buy Where the Crawdads Sing this morning, so maybe I'll also read in between chewing. Have a cool summer!

Thought of the Day: The Wiltern

Song of the Day: Weezer-Records

Pining

What better time to catch up on your reading than Finals week? While reading through Pachinko and going over the book of Judges, the theme of oppression echoes throughout their stories of poverty, violence, and death. It's a sobering reminder for me that I have it pretty good even though things are still very imperfect.

Yesterday, schools across the nation received a potential threat for shootings that may occur today. One teacher heard from a student about a specific time and place of something happening on our campus. It's hard to know what's real or fake these days, but I have felt a heavier burden ever since I became a father. I now understand why people plea for their life by informing their assailant that they have children.

When will school shootings, Covid, and all the other brokenness of this world ever end? Be reminded by those beautiful lyrics in O Holy Night:

Chains shall he break for the slave is our brother; And in His name all oppression shall cease.

In the Bible there was rest in the land for x amount of years after each judge. What does that tell us about how long our rest will be when the final judge comes?

Thought of the Day: Ophthalmology

Song of the Day: Frank Sinatra-Jingle Bells

Number 5

 

Apparently, I have a real-life Peanuts character living in our home. She doesn't dance like him (yet), but boy does she make us laugh and smile. 

Thought of the Day: Last Hurrah

Song of the Day: Jinusean-Celebrate

Summer is Coming

Thought of the Day: Daycare

Song of the Day: Imagine Dragons-Thunder

Kaisermas

 

That is a picture of my "grilled" ham and cheese sandwich that I had in the hospital room on Christmas Eve. You might think that airplane food is bad, but hospital food shows you a different attitude towards free food. The last thing I have yet to experience is prison food though I wonder where the three would rank.

Thankfully, we are not at the hospital because of Covid; on the contrary, we are here to bring about a new life! Although it would have been kind of cool to have a Christmas baby, it looks like we might have to settle for a Boxing Day baby instead. In the end, we're just glad we can get some of those tax breaks for 2020.

It's been an interesting experience witnessing all the care and attention that goes into providing a safe delivery for the child and mother. There is not a single moment of silence due to all kinds of machines and staff monitoring everyone but the father throughout the day. I have a new level of respect for these medical professionals who undoubtedly deserve to be first in line for the vaccine. It is truly amazing all that they do (and even risk)!

From the start of the pregnancy to even the final stages of labor, we have realized that the baby is completely oblivious to her world outside of the womb. There is, literally, a new world she is about to enter into, and she has no idea what is to come. I see things at a slightly different angle now when Jesus says we "must be born again" in order to see the kingdom of God. What are all of the unfathomable things we have yet to experience in the world to come?

Surely, no more Kaiser grilled ham and cheese sandwiches.

My baby mama's a champ!

Thought of the Day: Induction

Song of the Day: Music Soundscapes, Holiday Mood-Silent Night

Worst/Best Year Ever

 How many times have you told yourself that this has been the worst year ever because of...

Covid?

Protests?

Fires?

Trump?

Lakers/Dodgers?

Wanna guess how many times I have told myself that this has been the best year ever?

If you'd like to help us get ready for 2021...

Babylist

Target

Thought of the Day: Average

Song of the Day: The Sugarhill Gang-Apache (Jump On It)

Acceptable Time

Psalm 69:13
my prayer is to you, O LORD.
At an acceptable time, O God,
in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in 
your steadfast faithfulness.

We placed an online order from IKEA on March 28 and received our order today, May 6. This is one of several things that did not go as planned in 2020, but I am reminded that prayers are answered at an acceptable time in acceptable ways.

The psalmist reminds us that we can rely on steadfast faithfulness. And I am here to remind you to not rely on anything else.

Like IKEA.


Thought of the Day: Kaiser
Song of the Day: Vince Guaraldi & Bola Sete-Choro

Wedding Day

actually happened nearly three weeks ago. Thanks, Corona.

Thought of the Day: Masks
Song of the Day: Marvin Berry & Harry Waters Jr.-Earth Angel

Move,

I pray thee, upon my disordered heart.


Thought of the Day: Packing
Song of the Day: the Mamas & the Papas-You Baby

Thanksgiving Eve

Whether I succeed or fail,
Nought matters but thee alone.

Thought of the Day: Four Months
Song of the Day: Bill Withers-Lovely Day

Thy Will vs. My Will

Let me know that the work of prayer is to bring
    my will to thine,
  and that without this it is folly to pray

Tim Keller once said that we don't get to 'Give us this day our daily bread' before 'Thy will be done'. I have to stop reversing that order.


Thought of the Day: Joshua Tree
Song of the Day: America-A Horse With No Name

A Forgotten Quote

Our past sins do not paralyze God.
-Sinclair Ferguson

Thought of the Day: Stuffed Animal
Song of the Day: Mariah Carey-Fantasy

In Love

Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called ‘being in love’ usually does not last. If the old fairy-tale ending ‘They lived happily ever after’ is taken to mean ‘They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married,’ then it says what probably never was nor ever would be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But, of course, ceasing to be ‘in love’ need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense — love as distinct from ‘being in love’ — is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be ‘in love’ with someone else. ‘Being in love’ first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. it is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.

-C.S. Lewis

Thought of the Day: Earl Grey

Song of the Day: Striking Matches-When The Right One Comes Along

Phyko.

Missions has been very good to you.
-Dinko

Thought of the Day: Esther
Song of the Day: Sade-By Your Side

People Make Mistakes

It's why they put rubbers on the ends of pencils.

-Fleabag

Thought of the Day: Spotify

Song of the Day: CityAlight-There Is Mercy

The 'Nevers' of the Gospel

O LORD,

May I never fail to come to the knowledge
        of the truth,
  never rest in a system of doctrine, however
    scriptural, that does not bring or further
      salvation,
  or teach me to deny ungodliness and
    worldly lusts,
  or help me to live soberly, righteously, godly;
  never rely on my own convictions and resolutions,
    but be strong in thee and in thy might;
  never cease to find thy grace sufficient
    in all my duties, trials, and conflicts;
  never forget to repair to thee
    in all my spiritual distresses and outward
      troubles,
  in all the dissatisfactions experienced in
    creature comforts;
  never fail to retreat to him who is full of grace
    and truth, the friend that loveth at all times,
    who is touched with feelings of my infirmities,
    and can do exceeding abundantly for me;
  never confine my religion to extraordinary
    occasions, but acknowledge thee in all my ways;
  never limit my devotions to particular seasons
    but be in thy fear all the day long;
  never be godly only on the sabbath
    or in thy house, but on every day abroad
      and at home;
  never make piety a dress but a habit,
    not only a habit but a nature,
    not only a nature but a life.
Do good to me by all thy dispensations,
  by all means of grace,
  by worship, prayers, praises,
And at last let me enter that world where is
  no temple, but only thy glory
  and the Lamb’s.

Thought of the Day: Seating Charts
Song of the Day: Mazzy Star-In The Kingdom

Teaching Hope

One of my students told me she would be missing class tomorrow to attend the court trial for the man who recently murdered her father. It saddens me to think how much trauma many of my students carry with them every day, trauma that has probably not been addressed or processed in a healthy way. She is in my largest class of 47 enrolled students and I often wonder what I can do to best support them when there's only one of me and...so many of them.

I just finished reading Teaching Hope, a book that I had borrowed from a good teacher friend of mine. Years ago, I had read the Freedom Writers, stories written by high school students who were taught by Erin Gruwell in Long Beach. This book is a collection of stories written by teachers who show the perspective of working in many challenging situations and environments; hence, its title. My biggest takeaway is that teaching will always be hard, but students need good teachers in their lives.

How do I become the good teacher that my students need?

Thought of the Day: Instant Pot
Song of the Day: Vince Guaraldi-A Taste of Honey